Chapter Six: "Haku's Place; Ino Appears!"
Hikari (who had returned to normal size), Naruto, and Sasuke walked into a library.
Hikari asked the ancient and frail librarian (whose name was Aiyani), "Excuse me, ma'am, but where would we go to find the Lair of Majora-Haku?"
Naruto was attracting some unwelcome stares because, as has been stated elsewhere in the tale, he was wearing what appeared to be a green mini-dress.
"Ov...er...by...the...Chil...dren...'s...Sect...ion." The old woman pointed towards the sign that read: "EVIL MASTERMASK'S LAIR! DO NOT ENTER!" before she dropped dead of exertion.
Naruto ran over to the sign, drew his sword, and hacked it to pieces, shouting, "I'm gonna get you, Haku! Believe it!!!!"
"Loser." Sasuke walked through the doorway next to the sign, Hikari following close behind him.
Naruto stood there for a while, and then he realized he was supposed to go through the door. "Oh. Hey guys! Wait up! Believe it!"
About halfway through a maze of labyrinths that led to Haku, just after being attacked by ravenous chickens and numerous utterances of "Loser," by Sasuke, everything went dark.
A spotlight shone down, and a wave of long, pale-blond hair could be seen. "Presenting... Ino! Prettiest genin in the whole leaf village!"
Ino caught sight of Sasuke, flying-tackle-hugged him, and started kissing him.
Sakura appeared, went totally insane when she caught sight of Ino on Sasuke, and attempted to make out with Naruto.
Hinata's Uh-Oh-Naruto-is-Being-Flirted-With-(or-Worse)-senses were tingling. She jutsued out of her bonds and appeared next to Sakura, her eyes the color of rubies. She bitch-slapped Sakura, who hit her back, and a fight broke out.
Naruto just sort of stood there confused until Jiraiya appeared and said, "I wonder if they'll rip each other's clothes off?"
"Any bets on what Hinata'll do to Sakura?" A short, slightly thick-set blonde girl appeared in a sudden burst of Lotus petals. "W-w-what?! Is Ino-pig trying to... make out with... Sasuke?!"
"Fifty and a bowl of ramen that Hinata beats the pulp out of Sakura," said Naruto.'
"I'll raise you a bottle of sake." Jiraiya held up the drink.
"You're on! Believe it!"
Meanwhile, Sasuke was trying to get Ino off him. He succeeded and walked out of the maze, Ino clinging to his ankle.
Hinata decided she'd had enough of fighting Sakura, flying-hug-tackled Naruto, and began kissing him.
Jiraiya looked at the blond girl and said, "Dang. What do I owe you now, Din?"
"Hm... Let's see... Three bottles of sake, ten bowls of rice, a couple pictures of Rock Lee, a free dinner at Ichiraku, a copy of your next book, and three grand.
"Oh," Jiraiya sighed, "I've only got one bottle of sake and one grand right now."
"Good enough."