Thanks for the reviews guys, please keep them coming. A quick note I'm leaving something about the case out because well it's just not relevant with the story, so don't be surprise if certain things aren't mentioned. Well on with the story.
Chapter 6: Forgiveness
After discovering Ellie's burned body and questioning Little Tino to give up the person who ordered the death of Ellie, Olivia walked into her apartment with Trevor right behind her. "I can't believe Little Tino is going to take the hit for Ellie's murder knowing good and well that he's innocent." Olivia said in frustration as she threw her keys on the coffee table along with her purse. "Want a glass of wine?" Olivia asked as she made her way over to the cabinet that housed the diverse types of wines and wine glasses.
Trevor nodded as he took off his suit jacket and set it on the back of the chair and loosening up his tie as he watched Olivia going through the various of wine to pick through before pulling out a bottle. "Nice little place you have here." Trevor said as he glanced around the small apartment.
"Thanks, Brian and I got it almost a…" Olivia stopped abruptly midsentence as she set the bottle of wine down as the realization of what she was saying hit her. Olivia licked her lips before looking up at Trevor who stood staring at her, and she could see the slightest hint of hurt on his face. "Trevor…" Olivia could only say.
It took a minute to really process the idea that his estrange wife dated someone, no, not only did she date someone but apparently, she developed strong feelings for someone to the point where she moved in with him. "Brian, the person who you had a one night stand with right?" Trevor inquired, as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He knew if he lost his cool with Olivia she could potentially shut down and their little progress that they made would be lost.
Olivia nodded as she absentmindedly poured wine into the second glass taking the moment to gather her thoughts knowing full well that Trevor was watching her every move. Olivia grabbed the two glasses of wine before making her way over to Trevor handing him one before making her way to the couch and sitting down.
Trevor watched her for a second now wishing that he had a glass of scotch for this conversation. Trevor moved to sit in the chair next to the couch that held his jacket. "Did he know that you were still married?"
Olivia finally looked away from her glass of wine and looked over at Trevor. "No, I uh…couldn't bring myself to tell him."
"Liv…" Trevor set his glass down on the coffee table and set back in the chair as he rubbed his temples.
Taking a deep breath Olivia mimicked Trevor as she set her glass of wine down on the coffee table and sitting back on the couch moving her legs under herself as she prepared herself for the conversation. "Trevor I'm sorry, when Brian came along a lot was going on and it just happen and it felt good to be with someone again."
"You had someone, you had me Liv. You could've came back home to your husband." Trevor seethed out losing the battle over his emotions.
Olivia narrowed her eyes at him, "A husband who I sent divorce papers to, who at that moment I didn't want to be with." Olivia threw right back at him.
Trevor's eyes snapped up at her, before softening knowing that she was right. "How many people did you date during," Trevor paused as he moved his hands in the air trying to figure out what they were.
"While we were separated," Olivia said helping him out. "Two, there was an A.D.A, David Haden, we dated for a couple of months before breaking up because of our jobs. Then there was Brian as you know already."
"How long were you two together for, you and Brian?" Trevor inquired wanting, no needing to know.
"Almost two years." Olivia said as she blinked away the tears knowing where his line of questioning was going.
"Why did you two break up?" Trevor asked knowing that this was hard on her but it was hard on him to hear that his estrange wife was with other people, one whom she lived with for a time. He needed to know not only for him but for them both, so that they could move forward if they wanted things to work out between them. No more secrets.
Olivia closed her eyes before looking over at Trevor, "Because he… he wouldn't commit any further then us living together." Olivia said as she allowed the tears to fall as she saw the hurt all over again in Trevor's eyes.
Trevor tried his best to keep the tears from falling but failed as some escaped and glided down his cheeks. "You wanted to marry him." Trevor said more as a statement then a question. "Did you love him?" Trevor asked dreading the answer that he would hear, but hoping, praying that she would say no, but knowing deep down that she would say yes.
Olivia shook her head, "Trevor you don't…"
"Olivia, did you, love him?" Trevor stressed again.
Olivia let out a slow breath as she closed her eyes, "Yes." Olivia said as she heard Trevor stand up. Olivia opened her eyes to try and catch his eyes but he refused to even look in her direction. "Trevor…" Olivia wanted to explain herself but the words failed on her lips.
Trevor moved to stand in front of the window as he tried to figure out where they were supposed to go from here. "Do you still love him?" Trevor asked still looking out the window.
Olivia knew she hurt him bad, she may not be able to see his face but she knew there were tears falling down his face because she could hear the tears in his voice. "No, I didn't love him the way I love you. Yes, I broke up with him because he didn't want to get married but we broke up because we finally realized that the love we felt for each other was not the love that will make a happy and healthy marriage. It wasn't the love we, you and I share or shared, Brian and I weren't right for each other." Olivia said trying to explain the feeling she had for Brian. Olivia stood up and moved towards Trevor grabbing his hands as she turned him towards her making him look her in the eyes. Olivia's heart broke when she saw his tear stained face. "Trevor, I am so sorry that I hurt you. You must understand where I'm coming from, I had already decided in my mind that we were divorce even though you refused to sign the papers. I wasn't going to sit around hoping that one day we would be together." Olivia squeezed his hands wanting to let what she said sink in. "Even though I still loved you at that time I wanted to move forward and not live in the past or allow my past to keep me from living and trying to find happiness again in my life."
Trevor nodded in part understanding, "If you wanted to move forward then why not force me to sign the papers?" Trevor asked as he pulled his hands from Olivia's grasps.
"Would you have signed them?" Olivia threw right back him.
Trevor's eyes snapped up to Olivia, "As much as it would have hurt me to do so, knowing that you had moved on, I would have signed them. I wouldn't have stopped you from being happy." Trevor admitted, "But I don't believe you wanted the divorce papers signed. You may have decided in your mind that we were divorced but deep down in your heart you still wanted to be with me. If you truly wanted that divorce then you would've made sure I signed those papers." Trevor added
Olivia stared at Trevor for a minute, "I may have still wanted to be with you, but my mind was out weighing my heart at that moment. The heart may want a lot of things but sometimes its best if you don't follow it, unless you'll get hurt all over again and I wanted to avoid that." Olivia said in her defense. "If you wanted me to be happy then why not sign them when I first sent them?" Olivia questioned going back to his first statement.
"Because I thought you were acting in grief, but if you had come to me and could tell me that you found someone else and had fallen in love with him…" Trevor moved his eyes from Olivia to the window, "I would've reluctantly signed them and let you be happy." Trevor turned back towards Olivia, "You never answered my question, I answered yours, now answer my question. If you wanted to move forward then why not force me to sign the papers? There's no I didn't want a messy divorce, even you knew I would have signed them." Trevor said knowing good and well she was stalling when she asked him those questions.
Olivia wonder the same thing after she sent the papers and never received them back signed. "I wanted to, there were days I would scroll to your name and hover over the call button but never could bring myself to tap it. I still loved you but I just couldn't bring myself to come back to you so I force myself to move on with Brian. I knew I should've told him about you and that I should've called you and told you that I needed the papers signed, but after a while I knew me and Brian wasn't meant for each other. I was ready to end it with him but, Lewis happen and he was there for me, helping me through it and being very patient with me. Once things settle down and when he was excited that I wasn't pregnant after I thought I was I couldn't stay with him." Olivia paused for a second before continuing. "After Brian, I knew if I wanted to truly move forward whether it be with you or with someone else I needed to figure out what I wanted and find a way to talk to you." Olivia said knowing she was rambling and probably not really making any sense to Trevor hence why she wanted to talk things out with her therapist before calling and talking with Trevor.
"When did you and Brian break up?" Trevor asked watching her, knowing she was trying to get her thoughts and feeling to make sense to her and him.
"About two months ago." Olivia said as she ran a hand through her hair. "If you want to sign the papers now I'll understand." Olivia added figuring Trevor wouldn't want to try to work on them now.
Trevor stood there for a minute watching the love of his life struggle with whatever was in her head. Trevor sighed before moving closer to Olivia watching as she tried to avoid his eyes. "Liv…" Trevor said as he grabbed her hands and giving them a squeezed making her look at him. "I never said I was going to sign them, especially now. Did it hurt to hear you say that you considered marrying someone else, yes. Did it break my heart when I received the divorce papers, yes. Did it crush me that you felt that you had to go to someone else for comfort and companionship, yes."
Olivia tried to pull from his grasps as tears started to make their way down her cheeks. "Why not sign the papers then?" Olivia asked as she just listen to him list one thing after another of things she did that hurt him, no, crushed him.
Trevor moved one of his hands to the side of her face as he wiped the tears away with his thump. Before leaning down and placing a chastise kiss on her lips. "Because I love you Olivia Langan, for better or worst. Yes, most people would be begging for those papers to sign them, but I'm not one of them. Plus, I'm at fault here too if I had signed those papers when I received them this whole conversation wouldn't have happen. We both did things that we shouldn't have."
"But I've done more," Olivia simply said.
"I don't it see that way," Trevor said feeling partly responsible. Yes, she could've forced him to sign the papers but he could have just signed them from the beginning and avoided all of this. "Liv, do you want this, us to work?" Trevor asked.
Olivia nodded, "I do," Olivia said sniffing some.
Trevor pulled her into a hug as he rubbed her back, "Good, because I want us to work too. It'll take some work but I know we can get through this and be that happy couple that's in that picture over the fireplace at my place, our place again." Trevor kissed the top of Olivia's head before pulling back a little, "I need to know that when things get tough and hard that you won't push me away or run again?" Trevor asked looking Olivia in the eyes with unshed tears.
Olivia nodded, "I promise, I'll even sign a contract for you." Olivia said smiling through her tears.
Trevor couldn't help but smile also, "I might just do that." Trevor said making Olivia laugh.
"We can even talk somethings out with my therapist if you want." Olivia suggested, knowing having that third person who isn't bias and can help them reason and see things clearly could be a tremendous help.
Trevor nodded as he laughed, "Who would've thought that Olivia Langan would suggest seeing a therapist." Trevor said before seeing the time on the clock. "I should get going its late and I have a tone of work to do tomorrow." Trevor said as he moved to grab his jacket from the back of the chair that held it.
Olivia nodded as she wrapped her arms around herself, "Ok, Trevor I know you said we're both at fault but I feel I hurt you the most and I am deeply sorry for hurting you." Olivia said with a sad smile.
Trevor nodded, "I forgive you Liv. I'll talk to you tomorrow, it'll be late but I'll call you once I'm finish with work." Trevor said as he opens the door. "Bye Liv."
Olivia gave him a small smile, "Bye Trev." Olivia said saying his nickname she gave him for the first time in years and it felt great to use it again. Once the door was closed behind him she moved to lock the top lock before making her way to her bedroom making a mental note to make an appointment with Dr. Lindstrom.
TBC
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