"Clarke…?"
The blonde still had her eyes fixed on the hallway where Lexa had previously been standing. She didn't know how to feel about what just transpired. On one hand, Clarke was secretly hoping that Lexa would catch her with Niylah, but on the other, seeing Lexa's face in the hall made her sick to her stomach.
"Clarke, are you okay?" Niylah surveyed the blonde that sat next to her; she looked like she had just seen a ghost. Of course Lexa would have to walk in during that. Niylah couldn't help but feel selfish when it came to Clarke; she'd been waiting so long to make a move on the girl and now when she finally had the courage to do so, the ex girlfriend had to ruin it.
"I'm sorry, I think I need to go to bed Niylah. This – this was fun but I'm really exhausted from traveling all day and I still haven't even unpacked my things. I'll see you tomorrow okay? We can make breakfast?" Clarke got up from the couch and knelt down, giving Niylah a quick kiss on her cheek. She knew the girl was annoyed at what happened but Clarke did not possess the energy or the mental strength for a long and dramatic conversation right now.
"Yeah okay…" the other girl replied.
The blonde turned and walked out of the living room in the direction of her bedroom. Passing by Lexa's door she couldn't help herself from pressing her ear up against it, she wasn't one to be so intrusive but something inside of her desperately ached to know how the brunette was feeling. Clarke could hear the muffled sound of the girl crying from the other side of the door. She should be smiling - she should be rejoicing at the fact that she hurt Lexa the way that Lexa hurt her - but all she could do was step back from the door and walk away in shame.
Lexa left the apartment the next morning before the sun had even made an appearance in the sky - it was time to get back into shape. All she felt now was anger and hurt so why not use that fire to get toned, right? Lexa knew it wouldn't take her mind off of Clarke and Niylah but it was all she could do right now not to kill someone.
She reached the ground floor of her apartment and took off running on the street. It was cold out but the piercing air came as a much needed relief to Lexa's clouded mind. She ran for ten minutes before the sunlight finally flooded into the city she called home; it hit her softly on her face and her eyelids briefly fluttered shut as the rays fully enveloped every one of her features, warming her from the inside out. Moments like this kept Lexa sane.
She continued running until she felt as though her lungs would catch on fire. The girl decided that walking the rest of the way home wasn't such a terrible idea - she was so out of shape and she didn't need to pull a muscle the first day back of working out.
The steps up to her apartment stared back at Lexa, mocking the exhausted girl, how could she have forgotten about the fucking death stairs?! "Well here goes nothing," the brunette muttered under her breath releasing a defeated sigh. The first three flights of steps had gone off without a hitch for Lexa but she was now faced with four more flights and her confidence was shaky. She leaned against the railing trying to regain her breathing from the last set of steps.
Letting her mind wander due to the current lack of oxygen in her brain, Lexa automatically thought about Clarke and Niylah on the couch together and she gritted her teeth out of pure disgust. The sounds she heard from the kitchen last night replayed like a broken record in her mind and she felt bile creep up in the back of her throat. Of course Lexa had thought about Clarke being with other people but she never imagined being in the same room when the girl was having sex with those people and not to mention the fact that the person was Lexa's other roommate? It sounded so ridiculous in her head, but picturing the two the night before, she was instantly reminded that it was all too real. She fought hard to swallow down the bitter taste that the image of Clarke with someone else left on her tongue. Trying and failing to dismiss the thoughts of Clarke from her mind, Lexa took off bounding up step after step until finally reaching the top.
The smell of brewing coffee enveloped Lexa's senses the second she stepped foot into the apartment. Who the hell was even up this early? She was answered when her gaze fell on, of course, the blonde Lexa had been thinking about all morning. Can't a woman catch a break around here?
Lexa made her way to the fridge in search of her water bottle, she didn't want to talk to Clarke but her need for water after climbing that stairwell was the only thing controlling her movements at this point. Finding the blue container toward the back of the fridge, Lexa grabbed it and drank for what must have been a full minute. She hadn't even looked at the blonde when she walked into the kitchen but the second she put her water bottle back in the fridge and closed the door she was met with blue eyes looking over at her. Clarke's eyes didn't hold the same anger that they had the day before but Lexa could tell that being around one another was taking a toll on the blonde.
"Lexa…I don't know what you saw last night but Niyl-"
"Look Clarke, it's fine okay? I don't have any say in what you do with your life anymore, especially your sex life, and same goes for you. As far as I'm concerned, nothing happened. Obviously us being around each other is uncomfortable but I guess we're just going to have to deal with it and get past this." The brunette couldn't even make eye contact with the blonde in front of her in fear that the words she was saying would not come out if she could tell what the girl was thinking.
"Um. Okay." Clarke replied with a slight edge to her tone. She didn't know what Lexa was doing but it was kind of pissing her off. Clarke knew that Lexa had heard her and Niylah last night and she knew that the girl was lying about being okay. Why was she trying to act like she was cool with this? The Lexa she used to know would have beat Niylah's ass, but I guess that's not who they were anymore. Well fine then. If Lexa says she's okay then she would have no problem with Clarke getting to know Niylah even more.
"Whatever you say Lexa."
The blonde's tone scared Lexa. Clarke sounded almost offended at what Lexa had said. This shit was too confusing for the brunette to try and deal with, she just wanted a shower and to get out of the apartment for the day. She watched Clarke crack some eggs into a bowl before she turned and started to make her way out of the kitchen. As she was about to walk out she was met with a sleepy Niylah walking out from the hallway. This fucking girl. Niylah was completely unaware of the cold stare Lexa was sending her as she walked into the kitchen. Lexa could feel her blood boiling as the girl brushed past her headed towards Clarke. Who the fuck did she think she was?
Clarke stood at the counter whisking the eggs she had cracked, not witnessing the interaction between Lexa and Niylah. She felt the girl stop next to her and she turned to greet her, "Hey Nye".
"How'd you sleep?"
"Alright, a little frustrated but overall, okay."
"Yeah I'm sorry we had to cut things short last night. Maybe I can make up for that later." Clarke said it loud enough so Lexa could hear. She looked over Niylah's shoulder, purposefully making eye contact with the brunette before she kissed the girl standing in front of her.
Lexa could feel the bile rising up again in her throat as she watched Clarke kiss Niylah. Why the hell was Clarke acting this way? She knew the girl was angry with her but to try and make her purposefully jealous? That was just childish. Lexa stormed out of the kitchen refusing to let Clarke toy with her emotions any longer. Yesterday she had honestly felt like she was in the wrong, but now, now she was the one furious with the blonde.
"Wow, what was that for?" Niylah asked struggling to catch her breath from Clarke's kiss.
"Do I really need a reason to kiss you Nye?" Clarke didn't want to confess the real reason for her spontaneity to the girl.
"Yeah I guess you're right," the taller girl replied laughing lightly. "So what were you and Lexa talking about? You could cut the tension in here with a knife when I walked in earlier."
"It was nothing really." The blonde turned away from Niylah and checked on the eggs cooking on the stove. Great. They're burnt on one side. "Damn it."
"Ya know I could have helped you with those bad boys, I'm a pretty good chef." Niylah winked at the blonde and moved to grab some new eggs from the fridge.
"Yeah that's what I hear," Clarke smiled softly at her letting Niylah take over in the kitchen. She was too stressed right now to think about eggs.
"Who spilled my secret to you?" Niylah questioned dramatically.
"Calm down detective!" Clarke laughed and hit the girl on the arm playfully. "It was just Raven. She said something about you making her bomb ass eggs. Which I better get to taste since I royally fucked mine up already."
"I knew it was Raven! That girl begs me to make her food like every morning, not to mention that she steals all my Cheetos! She cannot be trusted around food, how did you live with her in a dorm for two years and not starve?"
"Oh trust me, I have my ways when it comes to that girl." Clarke was not kidding. She knew exactly how to work Raven, the two had known each other practically since birth and she could read her like the back of her hand. "Hey! You never answered my egg question!" The blonde pouted.
"Stop giving me the pouty lips! You'll get your eggs, don't worry princess." Niylah chuckled and gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek.
Oh god. Did she really just call her princess? She felt the heavy weight of her past three years with the brunette crashing down on her - she felt as though the air was being sucked out of her lungs. That word held too much meaning and significance for the girl.
"Clarke? Clarke, are you okay?" Niylah asked with concern etched across her face for the other girl.
"Y-yeah. I'm fine. Keep cooking, I just need to go to the bathroom."
Clarke's head was spinning. All it took was one word and now she felt like she was having a panic attack? Lexa still held so much power over her and she hated it.
She walked slowly out of the kitchen trying to even out her breathing. Her hands would not stop shaking and her legs felt as though they would collapse under her weight at any second. Clarke finally reached the bathroom next to Raven's room and pushed the door open, not noticing that it was currently being used.
She opened the bathroom and felt the hot air hit her face, was Raven taking a shower in here? It was so steamy Clarke couldn't make out the face of the figure getting out of the shower, but she was certain that it was just Raven. She walked over to the sink and splashed some water in her face, hoping that it would clear her head. Looking up into the mirror she couldn't see her reflection so Clarke used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the steam off of the glass. As she wiped the glass clear her jaw dropped when she saw the wet body that was behind her. Clarke would know that body anywhere. The girl's back was turned to Clarke and she stared at the tattoo that covered her right shoulder and traced down her right side. Water was dripping slowly off Lexa's bronze skin and Clarke couldn't take her darkened eyes off the girl.
The brunette turned around to look in the mirror, her eyes widening as she saw who was staring back at her in the reflection.
"Oh my god! What are you doing in here?" The girl all but yelled, frantically trying to cover her body but dropping the towel multiple times. Her hands seemed to have stopped working.
"U-uh I thought you were Raven! I'm sorry!" Clarke didn't know what to say or how to act, seeing her ex girlfriend naked wasn't something she was prepared for and certainly not something that she thought would make her feel this way.
"How long have you been in here?" Lexa was so confused and she was steadily learning that her roommates had zero sense of privacy.
"Just a couple of minutes, I swear Lexa."
The brunette locked eyes with the girl in front of her. She noticed the darkened eyes of the blonde and she smirked. She didn't know that she still had this effect on Clarke but judging from the flustered look Clarke was giving her, Lexa knew she was right.
"You okay Clarke?" Lexa smiled smugly.
"Yeah...I'm fine."
"Really? You look a little frustrated."
"I'm fine, Lexa." Clarke needed to get out of the bathroom and away from the nearly naked Lexa.
The blonde moved towards the door but Lexa blocked her. "Can you please move Lexa."
"I know what you're doing Clarke."
"Yeah I'm trying to get out so will you please get out of my way?"
"No. I know what you're doing with Niylah and it's not going to make me jealous Clarke."
"I don't care if it makes you jealous or not. I don't really care about you so please, move."
"Whatever you say blondie." Lexa moved out of the doorway for Clarke but the girl continued to stand there.
"Don't. Call. Me. That." The blonde was fuming. Lexa had no right to call her that.
"Don't call you blondie? What's wrong with that?"
"You don't get to call me that anymore Lexa. You lost that right when you left." Clarke was so angry. She walked towards the brunette until she was backed up against the door. She hated that she still felt things for this girl. She hated that being this close to her lips made it impossible not to stare down at them. Fuck her for making her feel this way.
Lexa could feel all her blood rushing down to her center as Clarke backed her into the door. She didn't want the girl knowing that she was affected by her and Niylah but she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand seeing them together even though it had only been two days. "Clarke, I'm sorry. I won't call you that anymore." She was staring into blue eyes and she could see Clarke's vision move down to her lips. She licked her lips knowing what it would do to the blonde.
"I need to get out of here." Clarke was having a hard time thinking. Seeing Lexa lick her lips was doing things to her body and she needed out.
"Go ahead Clarke. You're the one who pushed me against the door."
"Fuck you Lexa." And with that Clarke pushed past the brunette and walked out the door. She let out a sigh of relief when she was finally away from Lexa. This was going to be a long semester.
Tensions are rising! How are y'all feeling about the story? I want to thank everyone for all the follows and favs! You guys are the best. I'll try to keep the story updated every week but I am working and going to school so give me a little time. Thanks guys!