A/N – Nicholas is finally facing up to his feelings for Danny this chapter – we're getting there! As usual I love reviews, follows or favourites :) Still don't own Nicholas Angel – damn! :(
Chapter 6
Half an hour later, they were both dressed and downstairs. Nicholas was busy in the kitchen and Danny was sitting at the kitchen table, daydreaming and reliving his highly risky morning's activities.
"What would you like on your toast?" Nicholas interrupted his thoughts unceremoniously.
"Err... butter and strawberry jam?" Danny called back.
He heard Nicholas opening the fridge and moving about in the kitchen. A moment later, he placed a plate containing two slices of jam covered toast and a mug of coffee in front of Danny.
Nicholas sat opposite him and blew on the surface of his coffee before taking a sip as Danny started to tuck into his breakfast. Nicholas flicked open yesterday's paper and scanned the pages for anything meaningful, or which could be in any way related to policing Sandford. They sat in companionable silence for a while, the only noises being the soft sounds of Danny eating and Nicholas shifting the pages over.
"I've got to go into work for a bit, today." Nicholas stated, in a businesslike tone. "Not all day, I just need to check everyone's behaving, and catch up on what I missed yesterday."
Danny nodded, still munching, eyes down to hide his disappointment. Looking up from the newspaper and noting Danny's expression, Nicholas added, softer this time. "I'll be as quick as I can, though."
"Sure." Danny mumbled with his mouth full.
"Right, I'll clean up around here, get you settled on the sofa and head off then." Nicholas gulped down the last of his coffee and leant back in his chair. He stretched out both arms, feeling the tightness in his back scream from a night sleeping in such an unnatural position. He tipped his head one way then the other, cracking his neck on both sides. Danny swallowed the last of his toast.
"Fanks for breakfast. Last night wasn't very comfortable for you, was it?"
"It's all right. I'm just a bit stiff." Danny caught Nicholas' eye at this and they both let out a short chuckle of laughter.
"The old ones is always the best!" Giggled Danny. It felt great to be laughing with Nicholas again, the awkwardness of last night having seemingly evaporated.
Nicholas recovered first, but still smiling, he carried the plate and cups through into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. Danny used his crutches to get up and transferred himself to the sofa where he flicked on the DVD player.
"Do you need anything before I go?" Nicholas asked, reappearing in the lounge.
"Cornetto?" Danny asked.
"You've just had breakfast!" Then at Danny's cute smile, he sighed resignedly, "Oh all right, hold on."
Nicholas delivered the Cornetto, a plain one, Danny's favourite, along with his mobile phone which he placed next to him on the arm of the sofa.
"Give me a ring if you... need to." Nicholas squeezed one hand on Danny's shoulder gently and grabbed his jacket off the back of the sofa with the other.
This small gesture of intimacy made Danny's breath catch in his throat. Normally, Nicholas didn't touch him very often and whenever he did it always felt special. Danny was desperate for any scrap of physical attention Nicholas would allow him. What he didn't realise was that Nicholas was only just beginning to admit to himself how much he wanted to touch Danny, how much he felt like he needed to be near him and had to be in his presence to know he was ok, to know they both were.
As Nicholas got himself back to his cottage, showered and changed and then drove to work, Danny was persistently in his thoughts. He checked his phone every few minutes, in case Danny had called or texted and he'd missed it. Nothing. He arrived at work and rounded up the team for a briefing.
"So, what's been going on, then?" He asked.
"Old Mrs. Gregor from Thomson's Hill Road called in yesterday, but that was just to ask how Da... how Sergeant Butterman was." Constable Doris Thatcher offered. "How is Sergeant Butterman?" She added. Nicholas smiled.
"Doing very well, thank you, Doris. I'll let him know you asked after him."
The Andys exchanged a meaningful glance and subtle limp wrist gestures. Nicholas fractionally narrowed his eyes at them. Observing this, Sergeant Tony Fisher hurriedly continued.
"We have all completed our final reports pertaining to the NWA case, Chief. Myself and Constable Thatcher covered all the patrols yesterday and there was very little to report. We had a cat stuck up a tree in the morning and then some intelligence came in regarding the vandalism of a street sign after lunch."
"Oh, really, which street?" Angel asked. The Andys sniggered.
"Canal Street, Sir." Tony replied, straight faced.
"And how exactly..." Before he could finish the question, Fisher shoved a police photograph under Nicholas' nose. It showed the street sign with the C of Canal spray painted out, and some explanatory drawings added for the avoidance of any doubt. "Oh I see." Angel finished flatly. The Andy's burst out laughing and even Doris smiled.
"Cocks." Blurted Constable Bob Walker, mercifully at the exact moment Saxon barked.
"Right, it would appear you've got everything under control. I'll be in my office."
Nicholas shut the door behind him and sat heavily at his desk. Christ, he missed having Danny around. Usually, the team were so much more committed now and even the Andys were generally willing to take orders from him without complaint since his NWA take down. He hadn't realised how much Danny just tipped the balance in his favour though. His hero-worshipping loyalty did make the rest of them more respectful, as Danny was so universally liked. Plus they all thankfully felt he deserved to be given a break after what had happened with his father. Nicholas, therefore, was a much easier target alone. On another day, a day when Danny was there, Nicholas would have had a laugh with them all about the rather unimaginative altering of the street sign. Usually, he didn't even mind about the gay innuendo and crass jokes from the Andys either. But without Danny, it seemed so personal and mean.
He sighed and rubbed his aching eyes. His desk was just as usual, neat and tidy, with no extraneous items to clutter its surface. Usually that would be a sight that made him happy as order kept him calm. But today it just seemed so... dead. There was no personality in the office, nothing to show that Nicholas Angel sat at this desk, save for the wooden name plaque stating matter of factly that he did. Nicholas suddenly felt just as dead and empty as his office was. There were just two files in his in tray, presumably regarding the cat and the street sign respectively, awaiting his signature. His desk phone was flashing with messages though and as he reached out to press play, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in."
Doris poked her head around the door frame hesitantly.
"Do you 'ave a minute, Sir?" Nicholas retracted his outstretched hand from the phone and waved her in with it instead.
"Of course, have a seat. What can I do for you, Doris?" Doris Thatcher, along with Tony Fisher had changed the most since the NWA shoot out. She was always striving to be professional nowadays, even if she didn't quite manage it 100% of the time. She no longer spent her time gazing dreamily at the pictures of actors she had on her computer screen saver. She had sought out more responsibility, volunteered for extra shifts and regularly helped Nicholas with the huge burden of paperwork he personally incurred as a newly promoted Inspector. He now had to deal with all manner of staffing and regulatory issues which had never previously fallen within his remit. Doris had quietly become something of a secretary to him. He was in no doubt that she was the reason his desk had remained so tidy, despite the previous day spent devoted solely to looking after Danny. Nicholas was deeply grateful, especially as the fact she managed to do all this in addition to her normal work meant he could still go out on patrol. Right now though, Doris shifted nervously in her seat as Nicholas waited for her to speak.
"Err... well forgive me if I'm speakin' out o' turn, Sir, but I just wanted to say... not to mind the Andys, Sir. They don't mean anythin' by it. They're just banterin' wiv you. I know it sounds daft but they wouldn't do it if they didn't really like you." Doris paused, breath held, waiting for a response from Nicholas, unsure if she was about to get a telling off for speaking inappropriately to a senior officer. Nicholas smiled briefly.
"Thank you, Doris, that's kind of you to point out. It isn't something which normally bothers me. It's just getting to me today for some reason."
"Because Danny's still not here." It was a statement, not a question. And it seemed pointless to argue.
"Well, yes, actually." There was a pause, Doris was fidgeting, trying to build up courage to continue. Finally she met Nicholas' eye.
"You miss him when he's not around, don't you, Sir? I mean we all do..."
"He's my partner, Doris. So, yes, I miss working with him."
"Yes, he's your partner. Also, Sir... Well... Danny... He 'as a lot o' respect for you. He worships the ground you walk on if I'm honest..."
"Have you and he been speaking about me?
"No! Well yes, a bit, Sir."
"You can stop calling me Sir, Doris. It's just you and me here, call me Nicholas." Doris nodded, then took a deep breath.
"Ok. Well, Nicholas, Danny finks the world of you and I just fink maybe you'd be happier if you, you know, let him know what you fink of him." She smiled, relieved to have got to the point.
"I'm sorry I don't follow." Nicholas frowned. Doris' relief was short lived.
"Ok, well, I don't mean to pry, Sir, damn! I mean Nicholas, sorry! But I feel like we know each other well enough and we're... well, we're friends, At least I like to fink so."
"Yes, we are friends, Doris."
"Well, Sir... Nicholas, have you considered... I mean is it possible that..." She looked pleadingly at him, willing him to understand without her having to spell it out. He looked disappointingly perplexed. She shut her eyes, gathering all her courage and when she opened them, spoke calmly and directly to him for the first time since she had entered the room.
"Look, Danny might want to kill me when he finds out I've spoken about this wiv you but it seems obvious to me that you two 'ave a special relationship, so I'm goin' to take my chances. Danny told me he wants to be wiv you, romantically I mean." Nicholas' eyes widened but Doris kept ploughing on regardless. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, or how to feel, but I think you should know how he feels so you can avoid hurting him, unnecessarily-like." Doris sucked in a deep ragged breath to fuel her finale. "I fink you could do a lot worse, too. He's a lovely man, he's plainly mad about you, and you clearly adore 'im, you're just a bit scared to admit it, that's all."
There was a silence which seemed to last years. Doris shrunk back into her chair, her courage completely dissipated. Nicholas swallowed hard, staring at her with a troubled expression. He opened his mouth but couldn't trust himself to speak without his voice cracking with emotion. He wanted to tell her to get out and mind her own business. How dare she come in here and suggest... suggest what exactly? The truth? Was it so bad? Did he like Danny, you know, like that? His mind was whirring, all the thoughts he'd been repressing leapt snarling up at him. The times his narrowed eyes had crept over to jealously watch Danny laughing with the barmaid whilst ordering drinks in the Crown. The precious late night movies viewed sitting close together on Danny's sofa, when sometimes his leg would accidentally brush Danny's meaty thigh. The instinctive way they interacted when their thinking was perfectly in synch. Like during the NWA gunfight, he had always known exactly where Danny was and what he was about to do. They had moved and acted and fought as one. That is until his guard was down and he had finally relaxed in time for Tom Weaver to make his appearance. Then it had been Danny who had anticipated perfectly what was going to happen. Danny had taken a bullet for him. He had jumped in front of a lunatic with a gun to save him. How had the enormity of that passed Nicholas by? Why had he tried to block out what it meant that Danny would do that for him? Suddenly all his defences were crumbling to nothing. All the times he'd forced himself to not touch Danny, to not even think about him, to tell himself that this was ridiculous, that he was straight, all came charging at him. The truth assaulted him, it overran him, like he was an army hopelessly out numbered and out gunned. He loved Danny. More than anyone he'd ever loved and much more than the job. He would do anything for him. He would jump in the path of a bullet for him, without any hesitation. He blinked and realised Doris had stood up and was preparing to leave, looking uncertain and scared.
"I... I don't want our private business bandied about the station." Nicholas stammered. He knew she would know what he meant. That she was right, that everything she had said was right. But that he couldn't cope with everybody knowing something so personal about himself and Danny. Especially before he had had a chance to talk to Danny about it himself. Doris smiled.
"Of course, Sir."