2 Months later--

"Gabs I have to go home now. Are you going to be alright?"

"No worries Tay how many times have I said that since I've moved in?"

"About a thousand million" I rolled my eyes and walked to the door and held it open for her. She walked over and gave me a hug.

"Call me if you hear anything. Or better yet…call Troy." she grinned and winked at me then ran out the door before I could do anything.

I closed the door and double locked it. I mean you never know what could happen. I do live alone, getting money from my mom at her community service job. But that still doesn't mean something couldn't happen. But I don't want to jinx anything of course. I walked to the little family room and turned the TV. off. I then walked to the windows and made sure they were locked. Once I was sure they were I walked back to my room and got into bed.

"Hey Brie what's up?"

"Umm nothing Troy." I looked up from my book and stared at him a moment. Then I looked back down. "is there something I can help you with?"

"I was actually wondering if you'd go to the Snow Ball with me next month?"

"but that's next month…."

"I know I just have to make sure no one asks you before I get the chance to." He gave me a smile that made me thankful I was sitting.

"Umm yea I would, I would love that." I smiled up at him. He reached his hand out to me and I accepted it happily. He lifted me up and pulled me real close.

"Your…your really beautiful you know that?" I looked down a little embarrassed. He lifted my chin with his thumb.

"I mean that." I was going to object but he pressed his--

"beep…beep….beep…be-" I threw my hand over the alarm clock knocking it off the nightstand.

I slowly sat up in the bed and looked around. When I realized it was just a dream I went right back down. Don't you just hate when you have a really great dream but then when the great part of it is coming you wake up and never get the dream back. Well I hate it. So much because it was at the right part- Wait…what am I doing? I don't know wait I can't like Troy I mean it's Troy. As in Bolton and no that can't happen. Well not consciously….

30 min before Last Hour

"Gabriella?" I looked up and saw Brenda, a sophomore standing by my locker.

"Yea Brenda?"

"Is the scholastic decathlon meeting after school today?"

"Yea I think it is. You should ask Taylor to be sure."

"Oh I was but she was busy." she looked away clearly embarrassed. "well I had better get going. See you after school." I nodded slowly at her.

What does she mean Taylor was busy? I mean…wait a second. I grabbed my tote and started towards Taylor's locker. As I was walking pass the locker room. A little devil thing had to happen. There was water on the floor! I mean I could twist my ankle, crack my head, fracture something. But when I was going to hit the ground I felt arms wrap around my waist. I swear everyone in the hallway stopped and was staring at us. When the arms let up I turned around to see some familiar eyes.

"Thanks," I whispered and continued toward Taylor's locker. Then I felt him grab my wrist and turn me around.

"Hey where are you going so fast?"

"Just to see why Taylor is so pre-occupied. You can join me if you'd like." I then turned around and practically ran away. But damn him for being fast since he caught up with me in like 5 steps.

"What exactly do you expect her to be doing?"

"Well if my sources embarrassment and my calculations are correct then I know what is going on."

"What?"

"Just watch." I rounded the corner to Taylor's locker. I mean sure in my head the images of them making out seemed so easy to handle. But now looking at it, it seems so real. I turned to see Troy's reaction and saw he had a silly grin on his face. Almost as if he already knew about the situation. Then he looked down at me and put an arm around my shoulders. Okay can we scream random and awkward now? I swear someone would think we were proud parents or something. Something is so, so not right here. Well finally they broke apart for air I hope and Taylor spotted me.

"Gabs!"

"Uh huh?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I go to school here…."

"Oh right. Hi Troy." Taylor started fixing her shirt and then fixed his.

"Hey Tay, Chad." Chad started blushing and looked down embarrassed which I don't really see often.

"Wait, wait, wait! You all knew about this….this….fling?!" Troy took his arm from around me which I may add I missed instantly.

"Hey baby doll things happen. But you had to sense it was going to happen. I mean don't you just hate when two people who obviously feel for each other don't do anything about it?" more than you know.. Wait! Baby Doll??

"Uh yea I guess."

"Gabs let's go we have that meeting." before I could fit a word in she dragged me off to our decathlon meeting.

After the meeting of course

After the meeting I headed home early instead of going to Taylor's like I said I would. Who knew so much math work would make me so tired. I mean I probably would have gone to sleep right there against that chalk board. I walked to my door. 014 I know what a weird number right? Well Taylor says it's a sign. A sign to what I have no idea.

I opened the door and instantly locked it. I threw my bag on the couch and proceeded to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and saw nothing that interested me. But don't know what I exactly want.

Troy.

Okay so not true I mean please. But really don't you hate it when you come home. You know your hungry. And you know its not in the fridge or anywhere. Yet you can't quite place what you want. Well I hate that.

I head back to the couch and start making a list of what I hate.

Things that I Gabriella Montez HATE

10- The fact I can never decide on food.

9- The fact I live alone.

8-My mother at times for making this living situation.

7- My father for dying.

6- Magazines for having beautiful/artificially/fake models.

5- Models for being able to be made beautiful.

4- Girls who have the man they love with them.

3- Marco Fisher for being my like first boyfriend. he sucked

2- Troy for being the man I love.

1- Me. For all the above and for things I can't put on paper.

Yes and from this list I can tell I am a lost cause.

Next Day

"Alright class if you settle down!" Mrs. McClain paused while she waited then continued. "Thank-you. Now I am going to pass back the quizzes from yesterday. Some of us did better than others, but we'll just have to work on that."

She started walking down the isles and placing all the quizzes face down. It's a type of privacy thing so not to embarrass anyone. Once she walked away I slowly but calmly flipped it over. I expected an A, or even and A-. But at the bottom of my list was a C-. I don't think I've gotten one in my whole life. I mean I live for perfection. My dad always said that if your not doing your best it'll show in your work. And that simply means failure.

As soon as the bell rang I ran out of the classroom and straight to my locker. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I'm sure it looks dumb I mean I'm crying over a stupid grade I mean. ugh this is just so unfair.

I quickly grabbed my gym bag and started looking through it and grabbed my make-up kit. I shoved it in my bag, slammed my locker and ran to the closest bathroom. I kicked the door open and went straight to the sink. I didn't even have time to look for anyone else in any stall. I had to do this and do it fast.

I hastily opened the kit and pulled the razor out and put it against my skin. I looked up in the mirror at my tear stained face and closed my eyes and quickly cut. I looked down at the blood dripping into the sink and just watched. After enough was gone I grabbed a paper towel and put it on my arm and ran water over it. I started washing the razor when the bathroom door opened.

Damn.

Sharpay just stood there staring at my arm and the razor I was trying to clean. After a few minutes of tense silence. She finally looked up at me, shock clearly written on her face.

"Oh my god. Oh my fucking god!" I quickly threw the razor in the case and put the case in my bag and then turned to Sharpay.

"Why?" I don't know why but the look on her face. Like she really cared with every ounce of her heart just made me full out sob. I will never be able to explain what came over me but I totally trusted her for some reason.

"It's a long story." She turned and locked the door then turned to me and went and sat on the counter.

"I was going to skip anyway." I took that as an okay and went to sit next to her.

"Well it started like 2 or 3 years ago really. I mean my dad died, and at first everything was all about being together and love. Then things got really ugly. I mean my mom started drinking. She didn't like hit me hit me but sometimes being in her way was dangerous. I got used to it after a while. Making excuses for her when she missed some big concert or conference or something like that. Never brought any friends home scared of their reactions. I mean soon it got to be too much. I tried everything to release all the pain and guilt. I tried throwing up, not eating, then just settled on cutting. It felt the best and I don't know why. I'd cut whenever it was a holiday or I did bad at something. every time my mom blamed me for his death I just cut. Fathers day was like a party and totally cut up arms and arguments and shit. But then she went to far and got sent to rehab. So now I live alone and im all by myself."

A/N: i left out some details in this fyi

"Wow. I'd hate to be you too." I just simply nodded my head in agreement.

"it sucks."

"hey come on let's get going it smells like blood in here." I laughed slightly and got up off the counter and followed Sharpay out. Unfortunately classes were changing and everyone was staring at me like they knew or something. All of this was too much, I pushed passed Sharpay and ran. I heard her yelling my name to come back but I was gone.

I ran to the gym and let the door slam behind me. I started walking in a circle by the door. Comprehending what I had just told her and why I had told her. Of course I couldn't think of a reason good enough to satisfy me. After a while I just sat down by the door and just cried. I don't know why I'm being so hormonal it could deal with my period but who knows. I may just need a good cry. I haven't really cried since the fire.

"Are you alright?" I looked up and through my blurry eyes I saw Troy standing in front of me.

"Yea. I always start crying randomly." I cracked a pathetic smile and looked back down. I felt him sit down next to me and then he studied me.

"What…what happened to your arm?" I looked down at my arm and then at him.

"I cut it."

"I don't believe that."

"Fine with me."

"Is that why your in group?"

"Yea." he nodded and looked away so I did too. "why do you care anyways?"

"Maybe because someone has to if you won't" I turned and looked at him. His face showed no specific emotion. Finally he looked at me. We just sat there looking at each other letting our eyes say what our mouths wouldn't.

This is usually the moment where he would slowly but surely start leaning in. I would lean in a little. This process would proceed until we were right there. Then our lips would gently touch and we would experience our first kiss. Officially breaking the friends only rule. Of course none of this school girls fantasy happened. We just sat there and stared. Maybe it was the state that I am currently in. you know the tears and smeared makeup etc.. Maybe it is a turn off. I just wish he would notice me.

"Come on," he stood up and offered me his hand.

"Where are we going?" I took his hand and let him pull me up.

"We're going to get some food. Then we're going to talk about anything and everything."

"Why are you so nice?"

"Because….I just am. You know kill them with kindness." he started toward the doors that lead to the parking lot.

"You coming?" I quickly wiped my face and ran to catch up with him.

okay i am sooooooooo sorry it took so long to update. school is out and i wrote this at school. it took a while to hack in and get so yea. it's SUMMER so i will update like asap. but please review. this isn't what i exactly had i could only get the first three pages sorry.

i'll update if i get at least 8 reviews. like seriously that'll get you two whole chapters. :)