05

BAD BOYS

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Autumn, 1977

Being the head girl had its disadvantages. One of them was the wary looks that the younger Gryffindors threw at her in fear that she'd stop them from having fun. So except the parties that McGonagall approved for, Lily took it to herself to leave the dorms so the rest could have fun to their heart's content. She would either spend her evenings talking to her best-friend Dorcas or just do an extra patrol. It was a great time for patrolling since all the Gryffindors would be in their rooms, and she could deduct points freely without worrying about being fair from other Houses. She wasn't doing anything wrong, of course. Everything she did was by the books –and she always deducted the same amount of points, even from Slytherins.

At least she enjoyed taking long walks, and having the opportunity to walk around the halls and corridors of her beloved school. She often felt melancholic, even a little nostalgic. This is was her last year, and already her parents were insisting she'd return to the Muggle world, to the normal world, and build a decent life for herself. Decent, though, was not in Lily's future.

"Don't step on that!" she heard a voice shout at her, and she jumped back drawing her wand. She turned around and came face to face with none other than the other disadvantage of being the Head Girl. The much more irritating one. She wondered who should she congratulate for the awful idea of making James Potter the Head Boy. Surely, they could have found someone better than him. Maybe Lupin, even.

What she hated more than that was that her heart started to beat too fast, and she knew that he knew that, because he smiled. She wanted to wipe the smirk off of his face with a lip-binding jinx, and she barely held herself back, her wand shaking a little out of anger.

"What do you want, Potter?" she spat.

Potter, the prat that he is, just shrugged. "I might or might not know that there is a jinx on that stone you were about to step on."

Lily scoffed and looked at him tersely. "We all know who put it there, don't we?"

"Maybe," Potter said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "But we also know that you don't want to step on that. Patrolling are we?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes," Lily said while putting her wand back into her pockets. James was eying her critically, making her nervous. She glared at her, but was surprised to find that his eyes weren't mocking, on the contrary, he looked strangely serious. Lily rarely saw this look on him. He looked handsome. It was hateful. Why he had to be handsome on top of everything? Bad people shouldn't be handsome. There should be a natural law about it, it was as such in every tale, wasn't it?

"Why?" James asked walking towards her, in a motion to suggest that they should continue walking. Lily found herself following, and cursed herself for it. It would be too weird to stop now.

"No reason, I just thought-"Lily began but James cut her off.

"Gryffindors have a party tonight, you won the match against Hufflepuff."

Lily just shrugged. "Which means lots of first and second years are up. I don't wanna know what they are learning from the upper years."

James -Potter- laughed. It was sudden, and filled Lily's ears, making her blush. She was used to blushing in inconvenient times when around him, and she usually hid it with her anger. But this time it was useless to try to get angry with him, for whatever reason, so she tried to ignore the feeling. Bad people shouldn't laugh beautifully.

"So you left the dorms not to deduct points. Very good, Evans," Potter said. "Great strategic thinking on your part, all the while keeping your conscience clean."

"Well, what do you do when Slytherin has a party?" Lily asked, genuinely curious. She was sure no Slytherin would ever deduct points from their own house.

"I just go to Slughorn and ask for a broad permission," James said looking at her with a smile on her face. "Sweet talking gets you a long way in Slytherin."

Lily sighed, suddenly feeling jealous. What did a broad permission mean anyway? Were they allowed to drink firewhiskey? McGonagall would never okay that, and nothing could stop Gryffindors from drinking it until they pass out or worse: start to puke.

"I suppose that's true, I'm sure your lower years aren't brave enough to try the real dangerous stuff anyway."

James Potter laughed again, and Lily refused to look at his face. She was surprised to hear his agreement though. "That's true, you know. I got it easy. In any case, as Head Boy, I'm not responsible for the Common Room problems."

"What do you mean you are not? Of course, you are!" Lily stopped and looked at him, and found him eying her… softly. She gulped.

"No, Lily. I am not," he stopped with her. "Look, the key to not running yourself spare is a well built organisational chart. Head Boy and Girl are responsible for the students of Hogwarts. That's why there isn't one Head from every House. That's for the prefects to regulate. So I never deduct points when in Common Room -because it would be unfair to do so while there are other Houses without a Head Student, wouldn't it? It's simple, really, and you should try it. Maybe you won't have to miss parties anymore."

Lily found herself agreeing with Potter, which disturbed her a great deal. Never agreeing with Potter was one of her principles: always be angry with him so you won't ever enjoy his presence. But he was right.

"And you aren't doing it because you are just lazy?" she questioned, doubting his sincerity.

"Huh, well… You know what they say about lazy people, they are the best problem solvers," he grinned at her playfully, and her stomach flip flopped as he slowly leaned towards her as if he was going to share a secret with her. He wasn't really in her personal space but close enough for her to smell his cologne. Her mind went hazy, and she found herself appreciating him for even wearing cologne. Not many Gryffindors did. But James Potter, Lily found, smelled delicious. "And, Lily, I'm so very lazy."

Lily let out a laugh, but stopped herself immediately, which made James' grin to falter. He sighed.

"I'm not really the boogeyman, you know," he said straightening his back. "You can laugh with me. I'd like it if you did, even."

Lily started to move ahead as if to continue their walk to hide that she was actually running away. From what, she thought, from James Potter or the fact that you actually want to continue talking to him?

"And you can talk to me, Lily," he said, catching up with her. "I won't -I'm not… Damn." He mussed his hair, and Lily for the first time noticed, that maybe James Potter didn't muss his hair so girls would notice him. Maybe he did it because he simply just did. And the gesture, for the first time, didn't bother Lily. He stopped, and his hand went up as if he'd hold her arm to stop her, but he didn't touch her. Instead, he just sat on one of the benches placed in the broad corridor. "Why do you hate me?"

His voice didn't quiver, nor was he annoyed, pitiful, or shy. He was looking at her, calmly and without judgment. He seemed genuinely curious, and Lily noticed she was curious too. She didn't know why, not anymore.

"I don't know," she said. "I just do."

Potter smiled wanly and nodded his head like he was expecting to hear just that. "I really like you," he said anyway. "I think it's time that you know that. I know you may think you already know, or maybe you think I'm playing around. But I'm not. And please, if you are going to hate me, have a reason. Find one, Evans. Lily. Evans. Find one. It's better if you have a reason. Otherwise, you are just cruel."

"Cruel?" Lily looked at him with disbelief. "I am cruel? James Potter says that I am cruel." She laughed bitterly. "You mock me, follow me around, every girl in Slytherin hates me because of you. You tortured Severus! You still do in fact, and I am cruel!"

"Oh, when did I mock you? Calling you princess is mocking you, then? Or asking you to Hogsmeade? Why? Is it because I like to make it loud and clear that you don't believe me? Is there only one way of being genuine? Should I be solemn, and buy you flowers like every other guy in school does? Would that be genuine enough for you?"

"Oh, you know you did more than that!" Lily tried to cut him off. But he didn't stop.

"And I never followed you around. I don't even watch you-" Potter stopped himself for a second, making Lily wonder what he was going to say. "Believe me," he said instead. "I have ways to know where you are every second of the day, and I could follow you. But I don't. I only follow you when I stumble upon you, to tell you, to remind you, that I am here. I don't stalk you. That's what that creep Snape does. He stalks you, you know. He watches you when you study in the library, behind the bookshelves or when you are talking to your friends and laughing he hides behind a tree. He watches you in class when you are focused on your wand movements. And yes, I torture him, if that's what you want to call it, because he is a creep. But I let you know I see you, and just because you are aware of what I do, I am the bad guy? Is that it?"

Lily had never seen Potter angry with her. Although, she wasn't even sure if he was angry, or just frustrated. He hadn't even stand up, he wasn't shouting, or anything like that. But Lily felt as if she was being taught a lesson, unable to believe that Potter was actually able to get frustrated with her.

Lily found her legs move towards the bench and she sat next to him. He looked at her, surprised.

"I always thought that you did those things to make me feel insecure."

"How so?" James said, and he sounded so confused Lily let out a small laugh.

"You call me princess like I see myself so high and mighty, and I don't, you know," she said, almost whispering.

"But you are," James said. "High and mighty. That is not a bad thing to be. You walk like you own the very ground you step on. And you hold your wand like you were born with it and I know that it takes so much practice on your part, that you hide behind the curtains of your bed and for hours and hours you study the movements -but when you are out in the world you have become an expert on whatever you do. When you say something, you just do and you-" James stopped and took a deep breath, and Lily once again found herself looking at him. He wasn't looking at her anymore. "And I'm not saying this to you so you can fight your insecurities, either. I don't want to be that person you choose to be around because I flatter you. I just want you to know and maybe, the next time I'm talking to you I want you to imagine for a second that I'm not lying."

"How can you think those things about me?" she asked him.

"What do you mean?" James said, looking back at her.

"Your best friend is Sirius Black, and everyone knows that Blacks hate-" Lily started and saw that James was laughing silently. She stopped, her eyes opening in surprise. "Why are you laughing?"

"No one knows shit about the Blacks, Lily," he said gently, shaking his head. "Walburga, Sirius' mother, would hang me upside down for days if she knew I was talking to you, yes. But that's her, and I'm not denying Bellatrix would throw a real fit too, but… They are just a bunch of snobs that want to protect their own way of life. And some of them are short minded, some of them are not. Just like every other family. Don't you have anyone in your family, that you can't help but to love while their point of views bother you?"

Lily found herself remembering Petunia, her sister, and understood what James was saying.

"But that's different," she said immediately. "None of my family wants to kill people they don't like."

"Don't they?" James asked. "Are you sure?"

Lily stayed silent and swallowed. No. No, she wasn't sure. "I think, the situation is different. I think You-Know-Who makes the situation -well, different.."

"Things, aren't as simple as black and white," James said solemnly. "Dark and light. And if you hate me because I'm choosing the Dark Lord, you'd be wrong. I'm choosing myself. I'm choosing a better future. I promise you, Lily, I wouldn't choose it if I thought the future wouldn't be brighter for you as well as me."

"For me?" she asked in disbelief.

"No, not for you alone," James was quick to answer though. "I think this war and whatever it brings along, has nothing to do with you and I. But if you want clarity, let's just say I know what is what. I know that Muggleborns aren't stealing magic, but I also know the dangers they bring into our world. Have you ever heard the name Caleb Mendez? A Muggleborn kid, killed by his local priest. His family was already notified about the magic, which terrified them and they asked for their priest to exorcise him. So the Mendez family killed their own child in fear. And you know the worst of it?"

Lily knew her face was ashen. She shook her head.

"They weren't obliviated. They still know the magical world exists."

"How do you know that?"

"Orion Black. He petitioned for their memories to be erased. He was shut off, called a Muggle-hater. Which was correct; he does hate Muggles. But that doesn't change the fact that he was right."

"You think He will change that?"

"No. Neither will Dumbledore."

"I think you are wrong about Dumbledore, James. He would do everything to save that boy."

James shook his head. "No, not everything." He looked at her, then. His eyes piercing hers. "I would, though."

"For a Muggleborn?" Lily asked again. Because, when did James Potter befriended one? When did he show any compassion towards a Muggleborn?

Except you, a voice told her in the back of her mind and she averted her eyes, looking down instead. Already regretting what she said. She felt the heat of his body, as he got just a little closer to her.

"For magic," James said, his eyes travelling on her face. She didn't have to see it to know it was true. Finding her courage she lifted her eyes to look at him.

"And what about me?" she said.

"I'd burn the world for you," James whispered, then his face got even more serious. "But I won't be your toy."

"I don't want you to burn the world," Lily said. "But I'm afraid you will."

James smiled at her, a little mischievously, and Lily found herself get excited by that, and she knew she shouldn't find someone as dangerous and dark as James Potter this attractive. Most of all she hated how innocent he looked while being that.

"I don't care that you're a Muggleborn, you know. You think I do, but I don't," he said, his eyes unrelentingly fixed on her, the smirk was still on his face but not. "When I look at you I see a powerful witch. The magic in you pours out. You would be beautiful no matter what. But I love the power in you, Evans."

Lily stood still, trying to find a piece of insincerity in James' words. How fast had they gone from I really like you to love? Could she believe him? She had heard what others whisper about him. They already called him a Death Eater in the Gryffindor Common Room. There wasn't a friend of hers that didn't hate James Potter.

"I know you support You-Know-Who," she said, and she did know it, whatever he said. Didn't she?

"You know that I don't support Dumbledore," James said as if correcting her. "And I am not as good as you want me to be, and the war will not prove me an innocent with high moral standards either." His voice was so near, only a touch above whispering. Lily found herself admitting that it was soothing, like balm on burnt skin. "But I won't ever be Dark Lord's puppet, either."

He reached and held her hand, and, by some miracle, she didn't yank it back. He had never touched her before. Sure, he had flirted, winked, grinned, called her Princess -and how that word had changed for her today... But he never touched her before. For the first time in her life, she felt her skin move. It made her feel confusingly, unexplainably excited. She hated Potter for too long and watched him until his every move was etched into her brain. Things were not as simple as one's convictions were. When James Potter was around Lily was pulled into his presence, like he was the black hole and she was a stray meteor, and her whole body noticed him. Now, their hands connected, she felt helpless. She wanted to be strong enough to refuse him, to refuse what he is asking of her, to refuse his love. But the truth was that she wanted him near. All the times she kissed other boys had nothing on how she felt now when his hands held hers and trapped it inside his palm providing warmth, security and desire. She was scared.

She was terrified.

"I'm not playing a game with you Lily," she heard him whisper, his voice too near. She could feel his breath, and in the silence of the night she even could hear his heart, or so she imagined that she could. She imagined that his heartbeat would match hers.

She couldn't refuse him. She couldn't fully accept him either. So she remained silent. She thought about pushing him away from her and leaving, but her feet would never move to do so. There wasn't a single muscle on her body that wanted to get away from James Potter. His thumb was slowly caressing her hand, and like in slow motion, Lily watched as he pulled her fingertips to his lips and kissed their tip gently, reverently. She could feel the bolt that ran through their bodies, just like when you reach for the magic in you, only different. This small gesture was full of promises.

The promise was not one of change. He didn't promise to change his ways, he was not going to change his mind suddenly and join Dumbledore. She knew that. And she really, really, wanted to care about his ideals, his aims, and his goals. They were good reasons to refuse him. Hadn't she turned her back to her once best friend for the same exact reasons? For being too dark, too dangerous? But all she could think now was that his lips offered her the world, and maybe it was good enough for the two of them. James promised her something much more important than the war, politics and ideologies. He promised her love.

Did he not?

Finally finding the courage, Lily looked up to him. She didn't dare to kiss him, or to say anything. But it was enough.

He slowly leant and tucked a string of her hair behind her ear and touched that place between her chin and neck with two fingertips so lightly that it could be the touch of a ghost and the war disappeared. When he leant and Lily felt his breath on her skin for the first time the fact that he meddled with dark arts disappeared. When, in an intake of breath, she smelled him, he was no longer a Slytherin. When his lips touched hers surely but with a tender care, slowly taking her bottom lip between his lips to open her mouth to him... It was her that disappeared. Lily Evans was gone.

It was just him and her.

And the kiss...

Their breaths...

Being near.

Near, near, nearer...

"You did what?"

"Shh!" Lily shut her friend's shriek with a whack in the face with a pillow.

"Do not 'shhh' me Lily! You kissed Potter!" Dorcas whisper-shouted without being able to hide her disgust. Lily felt shameful for not telling her best friend about her conflicting feelings about James Potter earlier but she wasn't ashamed of kissing him.

"Yes, yes I did," Lily said with a sigh.

"What were you thinking?" Dorcas asked, her voice calmer now but it was still dripping with disapproval.

Lily shrugged.

"There's something about him Cas, he just... I feel like he needs to be a part of my life, somehow. Like he belongs there..." she said and chanced a look at Dorcas whose eyes were now the size of saucers. "And it was good. The kiss, I mean. It felt... It felt right."

"He is going to be a..." Dorcas suddenly looked around and dropped her volume further, almost impossible to hear now: "a Death Eater. You know that! And I really don't understand you Lils, that's why you stopped being friends with Snape. Then you go and kiss Potter. What-is-wrong-with-you?"

"It's not the same thing!" Lily said, feeling slightly angry.

"The hell it isn't!" Dorcas said, managing to sound loud and whispering at the same time. Lily sighed, and pulled the curtains around the bed and added a muffliato charm for good measure, feeling slightly guilty as she did so. Severus had taught her this spell, or rather she picked it up when he used it many times to make sure their conversations remain private. Dorcas waited with a visible patience for Lily to be done, then continued only a bit louder: "The point is they both are dark, Lily. They are probably already in You-Know-Who's pocket!"

Lily dropped her hands dramatically onto her lap.

"It's different because Sev was my friend, alright?" she said, surprised that she still sounded angry after all this time. "He was supposed to be my friend. We were supposed to be... We were supposed to be fighting at the same corner. Instead, he chose a madman that wants people like me dead, and why? Because he is curious. Because he thinks he deserves more. He betrayed me for power, Cas. So, no, it's not the same."

Dorcas remained silent for only a second.

"Potter supports the same madman, Lily. He won't respect you. He never will."

"You are wrong though, he does. He does respect me enough to separate me from all this: the war, and choosing sides. What is between us is not about the war. And I believe..." she looked at Dorcas with seriousness. "I believe James plays a bigger game than following a madman for an easy access to power. He isn't in love with their ideals..."

"Oh, yeah, he bloody well is!" Dorcas shouted. "Listen to yourself! James! You call him James now? And, Godric's sake Lily, you are... you are defending a Death Eater."

"I'm not." Lily said. "I'm not defending him. I know... I know we will fight in different sides. I know this cannot go on. But I think I'm in love with him anyway."

Dorcas looked at her shocked; like Lily just declared the sky and earth switched sides, or she said that the Earth was flat. Then she snorted.

"You mean you just want to shag him," she said as if she just had her 'a-ha!' moment.

"No!" Lily said, her face turning red.

"Yes, oh yes!" Dorcas said. "You want to shag the evil git and you call it love because you need to have an excuse, instead of just shagging and dumping him," she sighed, interrupting her own speech. "Lils, Lily-bean. You have to be very careful with James Potter."

"I am. I will be. But I'm in his... Ah, hell, I don't know how to explain but you know, when he looks at me the world stops. Or, rather I stop while the world turns so very swiftly. And he doesn't lie to me, Cassie. He may be rude, and obnoxious, and annoying, and very, very, arrogant and evil; but he doesn't lie to me. And the kiss... I never felt something quite like that my whole life."

"You are going to continue seeing him," Dorcas said and it wasn't a question.

"Well, he is the head-boy, so I have to..."

Lily felt the air move and her face met with something soft yet forceful. She dumbly looked at the pillow that Dorcas just hit her with.

"What the hell?"

"I'm not talking about that! Will you continue seeing him, Lily? Will you... Oh Merlin's bloated testicles, I can't believe I'm asking this! Will you date him? Continue snogging him? Shag him?"

Yes, was the answer that immediately popped into Lily's head.

"I don't know," she said, not exactly thinking she was lying. Dorcas didn't seem to believe her but she didn't say anything.

Dorcas would support her through hell and back and Lily knew that. But she also knew the other girl didn't really understand what she was going through. Lily supposed times like these did that to people. It was always easy to forget your enemy was human too. Perhaps it was what made them resilient enough to keep fighting, to keep resisting. Lily wondered if there were no Voldemort would Dorcas still think James was evil? Because she knew he wouldn't be much different. He'd still be the obnoxious, arrogant toe-rag that liked to play with dark magic.

Lily hated that. Lily hated that James had no morals that helped him filter bad from good. Right from wrong... What drove him was want. He wanted something, so he didn't stop until he got it. Lily wasn't sure if that made him exactly evil. Severus wasn't. He was not evil; sure, he was dark and selfish. Arrogant too, though he'd deny it. Lily knew Severus wanted to belong with people, with people he deemed smart and capable. It was what made her stop seeing him. Lily once hoped her friendship would be enough. But it wasn't. He had chosen and then called her a mudblood. It was a slip, and that just made it worse. Lily was half-sure she'd forgive him if it were a planned move. If he'd told her that it was so the other Death Eater Wanna-Be's would believe him. But it was a slip. He really, really thought that about people like her. That, she couldn't forgive. James never did that. Why did James wanted to join with the Dark Side, Lily had no idea though. She had no answers. Were they the same, would James call her a mudblood without even thinking? She supposed if James called her a mudblood, it would be because he wanted to make a point. It would not be a slip. Or so she hoped.

She didn't know.

She wanted to, though.

She wanted to find out. Give him a chance, she thought, and you'll see. Her heart wanted James, and maybe Dorcas was right and it was her body that really wanted him. It didn't matter to Lily. She liked the feeling that took over her whenever James was near. She even liked it when he annoyed or angered her. She both wanted to hit him in the head and kiss him senseless. She never had a choice in it. She always liked him, even before she knew she did. Her mother would scoff and say that every young woman went through a phase that they were attracted to bad boys. Not that her mother would know what Lily meant when she said 'bad'. Her mother lived in a world where bad meant leather jackets, smoking pot and staying out late. She would wrinkle her nose and say 'delinquents' when she saw young people laughing in the streets that drank beer in a park after dark. 'Stay away from people like that girls,' she'd say to Petunia and Lily, 'Nothing good comes from people like that.' How easy it would be if James were the neighbourhood bad boy instead of a Death Eater recruit. How easy it would be to say 'I want him anyway, Mum.'

But he wasn't. Not that her mother would ever find out. No. She would never know about the war if Lily could help it.

Nothing about Voldemort, Death Eaters or James Potter.

"Have you hit your head or something, Prongs?"

Severus sneered before entering the dorm that he shared with the idiotic foursome. He had seen Potter as he came back from the patrol, and went to the dorm. He would prefer to wait a little longer to make sure they, the Marauders, would gone to bed but Slughorn had come to check upon his pupils and sent Severus up.

"No, thank you very much, I'm perfectly fine," Potter was saying. "Better than fine."

Potter's eyes found Severus and the smirk that suddenly appeared on his adversary's face was enough to make him want to pull his wand out. He didn't of course, he had some self control. He decided to ignore the quatro and swiftly moved towards his bed.

"I'm not so sure," Black was saying. "I'm sure someone gave you a draught that meddled with your mind."

Severus sighed internally. If someone actually gave him a draught, they'd think it was him.

"No, I'm perfectly fine, and I'm insulted, Padfoot, do you think anyone can mix something in my drink?"

I'm sure I could, Severus thought. And you wouldn't even know what hit you, if I did.

"But Prongs," he heard Pettigrew's mousy voice. "Evans would never-"

Severus heard someone hit Pettigrew, shutting him up, but he didn't look to see who it was. Instead he stood still, frozen in place. What about Evans? Had Potter done something to Lily? Severus would kill him, he would. Life Debt be damned. He slowly turned and looked at the Marauders, trying to figure out who had shut Pettigrew from talking.

"What about Lily?" Severus asked.

"Mind your own business," Lupin said, and Severus sneered at him. If he hadn't befriended Black, the werewolf would have no chance of surviving his Hogwarts years. Who would allow a werewolf to study with kids. Severus had almost died in his hands, and what did the professors do? Nothing.

"You mind your own business, mutt," he said, hiding his fear with a mask of contempt. "Humans are talking."

Severus knew he was being reckless by taunting him while four to one. He expected them to rose to their feet and attack him. What he didn't expect was all of them looking at Lupin as if to ask for permission. Severus must have missed something, since when Lupin was the head of their annoying little group? He was further surprised when Lupin just moved his head left to right, a micro gesture that would be easily missed, and the other three remained seated. Saying that Severus was disappointed would be an understatement. But he could use that to his advantage, he didn't actually want a fight, after all, he wanted to know what they were talking about.

"What about Lily?" he said once again, making sure he sounded self assured.

"You've been told to mind your own business, weren't you?" Potter looked at him, and he was once again grinning at him. Severus felt himself get sick. There was something unexplainable in that grin.

"Just tell him, James," Black said, and he too was grinning. "Let him know all about it I say."

"I thought you didn't believe me!" Potter turned to his friend, ignoring Severus standing there. Severus could feel his bones vibrating with anger. Black, too, was ignoring him. He just shrugged like it didn't even matter.

"If you did something to her, I swear I'll make you pay Potter," Severus said taking his wand out.

"He did something to her, alright," Pettigrew said and Severus aimed his wand at his laughing face. He didn't even notice that Lupin had jumped up from his seat until he was on him, his fist closed around the collar of Severus' robes. The werewolf snarled at him.

"Don't," was all Lupin said, his eyes were dangerously narrowed and his mouth showing off his teeth. Severus found himself looking at it, remembering another night that he had to run away from them; only they were sharper then, and the threat had been much more real.

"Remus!" he heard others say and Lupin let him go. Potter came in between them and Pettigrew had put his hand on Lupin's shoulder. Severus didn't care. He hated being afraid of the werewolf, and he knew that the group could make the rest of his last year at Hogwarts hell, but he didn't care.

"Did you?" he asked, to Potter this time. "Did you do something to her, because if you did-"

"What?" Potter turned to him sharply. "What will you do to me? She doesn't want you in her life, does she? You made sure of that! What right do you have to question anything about her?"

Severus moved towards the door, to get out of the dorm so he could run to Lily and make sure she was fine. He was stopped by a pair of hands that pushed him away from the door. Once again, he was face to face with Potter.

"Get out of my way!" he snarled, angry.

"Where do you think you are going? To Lily?" Potter asked. "You will stay away from her, Snape!"

"What did you do to her?" he shouted, hoping the desperation in his voice would not be caught by him.

"Nothing! Salazar! I'm not you, you fucking creep!"

For the first time in his life, Severus knew how much hitting someone's nose with your fist hurt. His hand was shaking with pain that he felt to his elbow. He would hope that the fist would slow Potter down, but he should have known better. The guy was used to pain, wasn't he? But so was Severus, although James Potter was significantly stronger than Severus' father, and so when Potter's fist came in contact with his jaw Severus found himself staggering backwards. Potter tried to take advantage of that but Severus was faster, and he sent a jinx on his way, missing only barely due to his unbalanced stance.

Unfortunately, that gave Potter enough time to pull his own wand out and send a Jelly-Legs Jinx towards Severus which made him collapse onto the ground. Normally, after that laughs would come from the other Marauders, but there was only silence. Severus saw James Potter taking his stance and wait for Severus to get up. He had never done that, treating their confrontations like a duel. Neither did the rest of his band. They didn't pity the fallen, they had no honour. So why now was he acting as if he did?

Severus rose to his feet, taking his own stance.

"Get out of my way Potter," he said, knowing that the other guy would refuse.

"I kissed her," Potter said instead of responding, his face expressionless like a rock. Severus' ears began to ring. "And she kissed me."

Impedimenta!Severus cast mentally. Flipendo. Potter deflected them both, blocking one and stepping away from the other. Severus continued to cast.

He sent spell after spell, and Potter was doing the same although he was mostly fighting defensive. Severus didn't know what came over him, but Potter was unable to take a break to send anything really harmful towards Severus. Severus knew that he had never fought this good. But the image of Lily kissing Potter… Image of his Lily to choose his enemy over him filled his mind, and focused all his anger towards a single goal: beating his opponent. Deep inside, Severus knew he had found how to achieve anything in the world, to have everything he had ever wanted.

All but one thing.

Lily.

He felt his mouth suddenly burn, as Potter's Pepper-Breath Hex hit him on the face.

"Flipendo!" Severus heard him cast, and unable to see due to the tears in his eyes because of the Hex, he chanced to dive on to his left. Which was stupid, even though he felt the Knock-Back Jinx pass him by, he still had dove towards Potter's stronger side -and sure enough he felt the second, and silently cast flipendo Potter had sent hit him square in the chest.

Severus fell down and felt his wand fly from his grip as what should be the result of the Disarming Spell Potter had used to finish the fight.

He had lost.

Worse; Potter had fought fairly. Severus wanted to kill him.

"Stay away from Lily," Potter said. "You aren't good for her."

Hello!

First and foremost many thanks to Calebski, as usual, for Alpha reading this story.

Secondly, sorry for the late update. My MacBook charger broke, and the new one only arrived yesterday.

This chapter has a special place in my heart because it was one of the first I drafted as I planned for the story.

Thank you for reading, and as always, your reviews are the best part of my days.

Love,

Synoir