"The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect"- Brene Brown

It was weird, but I was in class before Hisao today.

Class went on without much fuss, although Mutou stopped his lecture halfway through the speech as he remembered something:

"So, as you know, the festival is on the day after tomorrow. I hope everyone's projects are going to be successful this year. Have a good time, but also come Sunday, please keep the meaning of this festival in your minds..."

"Games and fried food!" Misha called out.

Everyone laughed at that.

"Yes, thank you Mikado" Mutou sighed "But I what I meant was more the-"

The lunch bell rings and drowned out what remained of his sentence. So he gave up and went back to his seat.

I lost sight of Hisao on the way out, so I just decided to go back to my room.

With nothing better to do, I got back to work on my drawing. I only had a pencil to work with but I was happy with how it was going.

Hanako was an interesting subject. The monotone colours of graphite on paper probably suited her best, bringing out her pale skin and dark hair.

I was shading in the scars on the back of her hand when a question formed in my mind:

What did her burns feel like?

I glanced at the clock. Class starts again soon.

The day ends and so I leave for the library. Hisao was there too, talking to Yuuko.

"Hi" I greeted them

Yuuko almost jumped "Kaito! Hello! I'm sorry, I never saw you there! How can I help you?"

Taken a little aback, it took me a while to form an answer "Uh... I'm just going to look for books"

"Me too" Hisao said "We know where everything is. We'll be fine"

The pair of us went off into the aisles together "Where you looking for anything in particular?" Hisao asked me

"No. I was just looking around. I just like to be here sometimes"

"I know what you mean" he smiled "It's... quiet, isn't it"

I nodded "Some places are a bit too noisy"

Hisao stopped walking and pulled a book out of the shelf "Well, this is what I was looking for" he waved it a little so I would see it "I'll see you later?"

"Sure"

And so he left, while I explored a bit more. It seemed every time I came to the library I found an as-of-yet unexplored corner. I even found a collection of books translated into english, which I thought was weird, but cool. I could read english, courtesy of my dad, but it had been such a long time ago since I had spoken it.

I thought back to my old home with my parents. Growing up I had never fit in very well. I was taller than everyone my age and my features were very not-japanese. Even my name didn't seem to fit. Smith. An english name. Not japanese. My parents always told me to never feel ashamed of looking different. I was Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I had a bloodline that spanned the globe, the best of the west and east.

After those days, I began to realise that they were things that made me better. I was naturally bigger and stronger than the other boys my age and I could speak and read both japanese and english fluently.

Then the accident happened, and I was made even more different. I was overcome with a wave of sadness so badly that I sank to the floor and sat there for a long time, staring at nothing, lost in my own little world.

"Um..." came a quiet voice, bringing me out of my own mind. I looked up to find the source: Yuuko.

"Sorry, but I have to close the library" she spoke as if she was having her arm twisted. "Are you okay?"

I stared at her for a while. She squirmed a little under my gaze "I...don't really fit in anywhere" I finally said "I always looked different. After..." I raised my fake hand and stared at it "This, I fit in even less. It just hit me that I don't really belong anywhere" I felt weird inside. I wasn't sad anymore, but there was a big feeling of, well, I guess I would call it "nothing" inside me. An empty feeling that was neither cold or warm, not sad nor happy. Just nothing. Is this what being dead felt like?

"I..." Yuuko spoke "I can't begin to understand what has happened to you in your life. But...if you like...Yamaku can be a new start. A place to belong. No one here is really "normal", in the standard way of thinking, after all"

Something she said resonated with me. I'm not sure why, but I felt better. I stood up, said "Thank you" and went back to my dorm. It was really late, so I went to sleep.

I slept very deeply that night. Memories of my parents filled my dreams.

The next day passed as usual. I seemed to be the only one who got a decent nights sleep. The class was of dark baggy eyes and sluggish movement. Even Mutou looked more like a zombie than a teacher. He just scrawled something on the wall and slumped into his chair.

Shizune and Misha weren't anywhere to be found, which was weird. It was quiet. I liked it.

"Nakai," came Mutou's voice "Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside?"

Hisao nodded and the two left, coming back in a few minutes "Smith?"

His voice startled me "Huh?"

"Outside please?" he asked.

Irrational fear filled me as I went outside "Did I...Did I do something wrong?"

Mutou looked surprised "No. Nothing wrong"

I exhaled with relief as he spoke some more "So, Smith, how are you?"

"Um, good?"

Mutou nodded, "I'm glad. It's only been a week so I was worried that you hadn't settled in just yet"

"Well," I spoke up "It's not all perfect yet but...I mean it's all a bit weird but... It's getting better"

I thought I was being a bit weird, but Mutou nodded like he understood me "I understand. Rest assured you will settle in. It may even feel like a second home in time. My second question: How are your studies? I know you were in hospital for a while. We're not too far ahead, are we?"

"Um, no. No, I think I can keep up"

He smiled "Just remember there if you are having troubles, know that we have a support system to help you"

I nodded "Okay"

He smiled "Well then, back inside shall we?" He opened the door and we went back in.

Class ended as it started. Quiet and with zero soul.

"Before you all leave," Mutou said "I expect the answers for those problems by Monday"

The class sighed in unison and left in a massive zombie horde. Even Mutou couldn't wait to leave.

All that was left was me, Hisao and Hanako.

Hisao was writing something while Hanako was waiting for Lilly (probably). I, on the other hand, was staying at my seat. I had been distracted by the knot on my desk again and was doodling around it. First it was the centre of a sun, then the pupil of a massive eye. I was making it into a larger pattern when Lilly appeared at the door.

"Hanako?" she said

Hanako practically ran to her. They talked for a bit before Lilly left. Weirdly, Hanako did not leave with her, taking her seat once more.

She pulled out a book and began to read. But before long she left. As did Hisao.

So, with nothing to do and my concentration on my doodles ruined, I left for the library.

I nodded a greeting to Yuuko before delving into the maze of books. It wasn't long before I ran into Hanako, settled on her beanbag

"Hi" I said as I passed her, taking a book from the bookshelf behind her and taking a seat on the beanbag opposite her.

Hanako looked at me liked I had fallen from the sky.

"New book?" I asked

"Y-Yes... I'm almost finished though"

I smiled at her "Cool" before reading my own book. I looked up for a brief moment to ask "Can I have it? When you're done?"

"S-Sure... You m-may not like it but..."

"Still want to check" I assured her "Never judge a book by its cover"

"I-I guess"

So I went back to my own book, leaving only when I had finished it to go find a new one. I still came back to the beanbag, and Hanako.

"Where did Lilly go?"

Hanako jolted a little at the sound of my voice "Lilly said she had to go and... meet someone..."

"Hmm?"

"A-Akira. Her sister..."

"Lilly has a sister?"

"She...She and Akira used to live together"

"Older or younger?"

"Um, older"

Time passed before I spoke again "Hey Hanako" she looked up at me "Are you...doing anything for the festival?"

Hanako looked like she was ready to run.

"Sorry" I rushed to apologise "I don't mean to scare it's just... I don't what to do so I thought I'd ask you and-"

"I..." Her voice made me stop "I don't know"

My shoulders slumped "I'm not good with large crowds either" I sighed as I returned to my book.

We sat there for a while, judging by the fading light. My stomach growling made me realise that I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten.

"I'm hungry" I announced, rising out of my beanbag "I'm going to find some food before bed. You wanna come with me?"

Hanako shook her head "I think I-I'll finish this first"

I nodded. "Okay. Bye"

"Kaito"

I turned back to her.

"Th-Thank you. F-For spending time with me" she said with the warmest smile I'd ever seen. Her eyes seemed to glow in the low light. They looked beautiful.

"You're welcome" I smiled back "Good...Goodnight, Hanako"

"N-Night"

I found food before bed that night, thankfully, but my last thoughts before sleep overtook my mind were of Hanako.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I made a friend. Her name is Hanako.