Chapter 6
Okay. Recap…
Nick brought me to a Disney friend's birthday celebration at a carnival….
Present….
We were on our way to our 6th ride when something came up.
Two people came up to us.
'Okay, unknown people alert.' I thought.
Then they called Nick.
"Nick!" the guy in a gray shirt yelled.
He was followed by a brunette shoulder-leveled-hair girl. Nick turned to see who called his name. Then he yelled back,
"Hey Sterling!" while giving him a clap on the shoulder.
The guy named "Sterling" was taller than Nick, with dirty blonde short hair and a cute smile. He's wearing a gray shirt, a faded denim pants and black converse.
'Hmm.. A laid back type of guy.. I guess' I thought while looking at him.
"Hey man! I'm glad to see you came." He told Nick, with a wide smile.
"Yeah me too." Nick answered then he turned to the girl.
"Hey Ashea! Happy Birthday!" He greeted.
"Sorry I didn't come to you sooner. I saw you earlier but you seem busy." He added.
He's so bad at lying, you can see right through him… or is it just me?
"Hey Nick, it's alright. I'm glad you came. But where's Joe and Kevin?" she asked.
"Yeah I'm glad too." He answered but I felt him looking at me.
"Kevin and Joe can't make it. They have to do something urgent. So they're sorry they couldn't come." He continued.
Then the Sterling guy looked at me then back to Nick then to Ashea. Nick realized he didn't introduce me yet.
"Oh! That's so rude of me. Ashley, this is Ashea and Sterling. Ashea is the one celebrating the birthday. Sterling is a friend of ours too." He introduced.
"Hi Ashley! Glad to meet you. Welcome to my birthday celebration." Ashea greeted me while extending her hand to me.
"Hey Ashea, Happy Birthday! Sorry for crashing in." I answered while shaking her hand and trying to make Nick feel guilty, but I regretted saying it afterwards.
"Hey, it's fine. I'm glad to meet new people actually. I'd have to thank Nick for bringing you along." She said genuinely.
"Thanks!" I told her with my most genuine smile.
"Hey I'm Sterling Knight. I'm an old friend of Nick. I'm so glad to meet you." Sterling greeted me with much enthusiasm and interesting smile.
"Hey, I'm glad to meet you too." I said while shaking his hand.
He was still shaking my hands when Nick cleared his throat.
"Ahmmm… What do you say on taking a ride on a Ferris wheel?" he asked.
"That would be awesome!" Sterling chimed in while giving Nick a high five.
Then we started walking up to the Ferris wheel. There were few people riding it at the moment so it was easy for us.
"So Ashea… you go with Nick and Ashley with me." Sterling suddenly pushed Ashea to Nick, which made her almost lost her balance if Nick didn't catch her. The he took my hand. I saw Nick's eyes follow Sterling's hand on mine.
Before anyone of us could react, he dragged me to the already open booth waiting for us. Then the operator closed the door after us. I saw Nick and Ashea get in the next booth after us. Then the ride started. I was too surprised with what happened to be furious with Sterling for what he did.
We were silent for a minute. Then,
"Sorry about that Ash. Can I call you Ash?" Sterling asked.
"Yeah" was all I could answer.
"It's just that..."he paused, then, "Ashea like Nick." He stated plainly.
My eyes widened. Then I could not speak….
I felt him move closer to me. Looking worried,
"Hey, are you okay? You look pale. Are you sick or anything?" he said while trying not to fuss on what to do with a shocked-looking-sick me.
I didn't answer for a while. Trying to take in what he just said. Ashea. Like. Nick. Yeah, you heard it right, Sterling just said she likes Nick.
'Wait, what would that be to you. You don't like Nick don't you?' I asked myself.
'No, no. No, heck no. I don't like Nick. Ashley! Snap out of it!' I mentally kick myself to wake up from this weird emotion I'm feeling.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just get a little dizzy with Ferris wheel." I lied.
"You should have told me earlier. We shouldn't have ridden this thing. I'm so sorry. It's so rude of me, to drag you along, not even asking if it's alright with you. I just thought this would be the perfect time to set Nick and Ashea up." He explained with a mix expression on his face.
He looks worried, embarrassed but a little excited at the same time, if you could figure out what I'm saying right now, that's how he looks. But he looks cute actually, with those lines on the side of his lips whenever he smiles.
"Hey, it's fine. I know what you mean. And I understand." I said despite of the knot growing inside my stomach. I don't really understand. Not about what Sterling said. I don't understand what I was feeling. I have to get rid of this.
'Come on Ash! Wake up. Stop this crazy idea. Why don't you just enjoy this beautiful day and this ride? You're with a cute guy.' I told myself.
I forced the thought to the back of my mind and concentrated on what was happening to me at the moment.
"You sure you're okay?" Sterling asked, looking worried.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure I'm okay!" I answered him.
"So, how did you met Nick?" he asked trying to make a conversation.
"It's a long and boring story. You really don't want to hear it." I said trying to dissuade him.
"Oh heck no, you just made me much more interested." He replied with cute wicked smile. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Fine. I will tell you. Since I can tell that you won't let it go up until the time I'll tell you." I told him like I just read his mind. Wow, did I just do that?
"Yeah, you got that right. So spill it already. I'm all ears…" Sterling said with practically all interest.
"But just one more thing Mr. Knight." I said while giving him a cautious look.
"What's that?" he asked, curious.
"You have to promise, you won't laugh at me." I said kind of embarrassed.
"Oh, okay. That's interesting. I promise!" he promised while holding his right hand up, palm spread like in a promise gesture.
"Okay, that's good. So, it was one night….." I started to recall again, how I met Nick. From the time my bestfriend bought a ticket for me and her for a concert, to the embarrassing reality of how I met Nick Jonas, 1/3 of the band called Jonas Brothers. I just left the fainting to the hospital part. I don't want to tell him about…you know what I mean. I can't even tell my own bestfriend, how can I tell a guy I barely know. And ofcourse I didn't mention the midnight scene. That would be so embarrassing and awkward. But I feel comfortable around him, like I can be myself. I saw him, trying hard to keep a smile while I was telling the humiliating events.
"Hey, don't laugh. You promised." I told him embarrassed.
"Hey, I'm not." He said while smiling.
"Hmmm…" I answered smiling too.
The ride's almost over but it felt like we just got in. I enjoyed Sterling's company. He's, fine. Okay, not just fine. He's one great guy. He can make me laugh easily. And he's got this charm. I almost forgot about Nick and Ashea, until the ride ended and we have to get off. They got off after us. Then, there it is again. That feeling of mixed up, I don't really understand and couldn't fathom.
"Hey guys!" Sterling spoke first.
"Hey!" Nick and Ashea said at the same time. Then they looked at each other and laughed. I stayed silent.
We were enjoying the carnival. Ashea and me were at the middle. Nick is on Ashea's side while Sterling was on mine. Sterling would throw a joke and we would all laugh. Then he would spill some secrets about Ashea, then she would blush and look down, then I would slap Sterling on the back to stop him from teasing Ashea. Then she would glance towards me and give me a smile of thank you. And I would smile back a welcome. Then she would look at Nick with such joy that I couldn't look anymore.
'Ashley, what's happening to you?' I asked myself. Then, Sterling took my hand, I was surprised with what he did that I didn't react. I just let him took it and hold it gently. Then I saw shock on Nick's face but he masked it immediately. He looked away, pretending to be looking at the other rides.
Then Sterling started to run towards the Roller Coaster dragging me along him, Nick and Ashea trailing behind us. When we reached the ride he stopped in front of it and gestured me to get in first. I smiled at him sweetly then got in followed by him. Then I saw Nick gesture to Ashea to get in first. Then I had a flash back, when he gestured to me and Gray to get in his car the night I met him. When he invited us for dinner, where it all began. Then I shook my head to put the memory aside.
"Ready?" Sterling asked, clearly excited. He's like a child. He gets excited whenever we're riding a new ride. And he didn't even bother hiding it. That's what I like about him. He's honest.
The ride started slow, afterward it went its way trying, oh wait it didn't just tried it made people scream at the top of their lungs until there's no voice coming out already. I was exhilarated. It was mind boggling. I felt like my mouth was reaping because of too much earsplitting screams. My face felt numb. I felt like my hands turned to stone for holding on the ride so hard.
When the ride was done, I was exasperated. I was breathless, I couldn't speak. It might be, because of the excitement I felt during the ride. I was laughing so hard with Sterling that I almost forgot why we were here and the fact that I came with Nick. Note: Almost.
Rain started to pour. I didn't honestly notice, but someone grabbed my hand and shielded my head with his arms from the rain. I couldn't see his face, all I see is that we're heading to a photo booth. Obviously I didn't know who grabbed me. But I'm certain it's a guy. I thought it's Sterling, since I know you've noticed he has been such a hand-grabber-of-the-day, so I was pretty confident it's him. Then he spoke,
"Hey, you alright?" he gently and concernedly said. Then I look up.
I was so surprised to find Nick standing in front of me, giving me his concerned look. I couldn't speak, I just stared at him blankly. And he just stared back, might be surprised with what my face was saying. And I can see worry painted all over his face too.
"Ashley?" he asked again, almost in a whisper.
I shook my head to let my brain think straight. It took me a moment but I answered.
"Oh, hey. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, totally fine." I said, stuttering a bit.
"You look and sound surprised or something." He commented. I hear disappointment in his voice.
"Oh, no, no, no! Ofcourse not. Why would I be surprised? You're the one who dragged me here." I lied through teasing him. I know he felt something wrong but he still smiled genuinely. I missed that smile. No one can ever compare to that smile, not even Sterling's, honestly saying, cute smile.
"Oh yeah, I remember I'm the culprit." He teased back, though he sounded rather guilty.
"Hey, I'm having fun. So much fun! Thanks to you." I complimented with a shy smile. Honestly this time.
"Yeah, I can see that." He mumbled. I can hear jealousy through his voice, I think.
'Why would he be jealous? With who? Sterling?' I asked myself.
"You really are having fun especially on the roller coaster. You and…(deep breath and then sighed) you and Sterling, you're laughing like you haven't laughed in years…" he continued, breaking my thoughts, looking down his shoes, his eyebrows knitting.
I looked at him intently, he really is jealous. I realized I haven't talked to him since the Ferris Wheel ride. And I totally didn't notice him after the roller coaster. I felt bad.
"Oh that? Hey it was nothing, he was just goofing off, and I just can't help but laugh. Especially when he made fun of me during the ride, I was screaming he made fun of me. I was screaming like crazy…" I explained but got cut off when I saw the expression in his face. It was unexplainable, sad, disappointed, jealous, confused. I couldn't even describe it. I looked down on my chucks.
"I'm sorry…" I mumbled, almost in a whisper.
"Hey, what are you saying?" he said gently,
"Don't say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." He consoled.
We were seated on the floor of the booth, side by side. Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes, it stung. I feel vulnerable, but I'm trying to keep it so hard.
When I turned to look at him, he looked like a child seated on the floor, lost. The rain outside was taking on a toll, drowning the noise around the carnival, making me feel like we were the only ones left inside the place inside a small booth, stuck in there. The lightning strike and thunder grumbled I was surprised that I immediately took Nick's hand involuntarily and held it tightly. He was surprised too but eventually realized that I was scared, he let me grip his hand. Then he moved closer, wrapped his right arm around my shoulder and continued to hold my hand with his left one.
"It's okay. I'm right here, it's okay." He repeated consolably. He was back on the mature Nick. His voice was soothing that I relaxed.
Whenever rain falls I feel so scared. I used to love rain… It was my brother's, Jimmy's favorite day. I got inflicted with his craziness that I learned to love it too. We love to watch it, or play under it (rain). We love having fun under the rain. We feel like children again whenever it's raining. But after what happened, you-know-what tragedy, I begin to fear rain especially thunder and lightning.
Nick continued to comfort me by rubbing my arms and letting me lean on his shoulder.
"I'm the reason…" I blurted out. He looked at me surprised and clueless.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" he asked.
"I'm the reason my brother's…. my brother's gone." I mumbled staring at space. I still can't bring to say the word D-E-A-D.
"I couldn't believe I was saying this to you. But I have to let this out. And I think you're the perfect person, even though Gray sure would be disappointed. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep this forever. One moment I'm happy then the next thing I know, I'm back on that horrible track of the past. And I feel so guilty." I continued without hesitation. I turned to Nick, he was just staring at me blankly, confusion in his eyes.
"What are you saying? I don't understand." He stated clueless.
"Will you promise to not interrupt while I'm relating, probably, the most horrible night of my entire lifetime?" I asked, can't actually believe I'm really is confessing this to him.
"Oh.. kay? I promise." He babbled immediately.
"Great…" I mumbled not relieved at all.
"Ready to hear everything?" I asked.
He did respond but with just a nod. Then I started relating the whole horrible night. While I was saying it to him, he didn't let go of my hand. Instead he held it tightly but gently, if you know what I mean. I couldn't control my sobs but he comforted me, wiping tears from my face occasionally. And I am so greatful for him for comforting me and staying there with me, consoling me with his words. Sometimes he would be drowned with my cries, and Nick would hold me tight. Planting kisses on my head. He would keep saying,
"Just cry it all out Ashy, so that you would feel better."
Or,
"Shhh… it's all gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay."
Or if I can't say anything anymore, he would hum melodies on my ear to console me.
My story ended on uncontrollable sobs. I was pretty sure I soaked his shirt with my tears. I felt embarrassed, but I just couldn't stop it no more. While I was crying, I heard him hum a familiar tune, and then he sang,
Pick up all your tears
Throw them in your backseat
Leave without a second glance
Somehow I'm to blame
For this never-ending race track
You call life
Turn right
Into your arms
Turn right
You won't be alone
You might
Fall off this track sometime
Hope to see you on the finish line
You're driving all your friends out
You just be you cannot follow
And soon you will be on your own
Somehow I'm to blame
For this never-ending race track
You call life
Just turn right
Into my arms
Turn right
You won't be alone
You might
Fall off this track sometime
Hope to see you on the finish line
I did all I could
I gave everything
But you had to go your way
And that road was not for me
So turn right
Into my arms
Turn right
You won't be alone
You might
Fall off this track sometime
"Hope to see you on the finish line"
It was the last line of the song, and he continued to hum. I heard the rain soften. My eyelids felt heavy, I stopped crying. While he was still humming,
"Nick?" I whispered weakly.
"Hmm?" he whispered back.
"Thank you…" I mumbled before I drifted off to sleep.
His voice was all I can remember, up until I was dreaming. His voice was in my ear.
Dream…..
And then I heard that voice again, but now I know who it was. It's Jimmy's I was sitting on a bench near the shore. Someone came up from my back again and held my shoulders, squeezed it, then moved to sit beside me. I turned to him and saw that he was smiling. Not just any ordinary smile of Jimmy. It was a contented smile. Then he held my hand.
"Thank you. For letting me go, for telling him and for pouring your heart out. And, I'm so, so sorry, for hurting you. Sorry for leaving you and letting you down. I'm so sorry Ash, I didn't mean to. I love you little girl, and mom and dad. But I have to go. Don't worry I will always look out for you. And I will forever be in your heart. I'm your big boy remember, little girl?" he said gently and patiently.
"Will you? Will you let me go Ash?" he continued almost pleading.
Tears were streaming down my face now. But felt myself smile and looked him in the eye. Took a deep breath and said,
"I will Jim. I willingly do. And I will tell mom and dad how much you love them. Thank you. Thank you so much for helping me. Always remember that I love you." I smiled genuinely through my tears.
"I'll miss you big boy. Big time and so much." I continued grinning.
He grinned back and gave me a tight and emotional hug. And then he let o and stood and he waved goodbye. And then he faded, leaving me grinning in tears. It must be weird but my heart was as light as the clouds.
I woke with a start. I touched my face and felt tears stain on my cheeks. I looked around and realized I'm already home, in my room, clutching Jimmy's favorite pillow, and heard Nick's voice hum that unforgettable song in my ears.
A/N: How's that for chapter 6? Tell me what you think guys.