The Torchwood team was unusually quiet on the trip back to Cardiff. After all they'd seen and experienced, Jack wasn't surprised no one wanted to talk. It wasn't everyday that you encountered cannibals, let alone come close to becoming their next victims.
Jack glanced once again into the rear-view mirror at Ianto, who sat in the backseat sandwiched between Tosh and Owen. His hands were folded neatly in his lap, unmoving, and his expression was blank. Cuts, bruises and dried blood marred his normally unblemished skin. His eyes were sunken with dark circles beneath revealing his exhaustion. Jack sighed inwardly as his eyes moved over the other three of his team. They didn't look much better. Tosh and Owen were both leaning away from Ianto, heads resting on the glass of the rear windows. Gwen also had her head against the window staring out at the countryside.
Silence permeated the vehicle; the only sound was the road under the wheels.
Jack moved his gaze back to the rear-view mirror and was surprised to find the intense blue eyes of Ianto staring back at him. Jack held his look for a moment before turning back to the road, determined to get them all back to Cardiff as quickly as possible.
Back at the Hub, Jack put off debriefing the team and sent them home to rest. Tosh, Owen and Gwen immediately scattered to their respective vehicles while Ianto remained leaning against the SUV with one arm wrapped protectively around his mid-section. The paramedics, once on scene, had concurred with Owen's initial diagnosis; Ianto had several broken and bruised ribs, but no internal injuries that were immediately evident.
"Ianto," Jack reached out a hand to the younger man's shoulder. "Go home and get some rest."
Ianto just stared at Jack with blank eyes.
"Come on," Jack guided Ianto by the elbow from the SUV to his car, helping him into the car. Ianto winced with pain from the effort.
"What do I do?" Ianto asked, sounding tired and defeated. His hands rested on the steering wheel and his eyes stared straight ahead.
Kneeling down next to the still open driver's side door, Jack laid a hand on Ianto's knee.
"Go home," Jack said gently as a tear fell from Ianto's eye. Jack, moving before he had time to think, reached out and gently thumbed it away, momentarily cupping Ianto's cheek before standing and shutting the car door.
It was still several minutes before Ianto drove away, and Jack felt a heavy sadness as he watched the car leave the parking garage. He had been witness to many horrors in his long life. So many that nothing really surprised him anymore; but seeing the events of the last 24-hours through the eyes of his team, all still innocent regardless of the things they'd also seen, hurt him. Alien horrors they knew; but they hadn't been prepared for the horrors of humanity and had been confronted by it head on, at its worst.
Tosh and Owen arrived promptly at 8am the next morning, quieter than usual and moving with a bit of care no doubt to account for the bruises. Gwen followed soon thereafter, unusually subdued and withdrawn. She kept her distance from the others and didn't try to corner Jack like she usually did first thing each morning. By 10am Ianto, who was usually the first in the Hub (aside from Jack), still hadn't shown up and Jack felt nervous unease settle heavily in the pit of his stomach.
He spent the morning debriefing Owen, Tosh and Gwen as he kept one eye on the clock and one on the door. By noon there was still no Ianto and Jack was becoming genuinely worried, and angry with himself. Ianto had not missed a day of work nor had he been late since the day he'd started, not counting the events surrounding Lisa. The others hadn't seemed to notice that the coffee wasn't made or that Ianto wasn't around. If they did notice they weren't showing it. They had retreated into their own work, a coping mechanism Jack guessed. For Jack, Ianto's absence was all he could see. He couldn't believe he'd just let Ianto go home alone in the state he was in. He couldn't believe he'd let any of them go home alone after what they'd just been through.
What the hell kind of person does that? Jack thought angrily as he threw on his coat and left the Hub in a rush.
The trip wasn't long to Ianto's flat, but to Jack it felt infinite. He couldn't stop imagining finding Ianto's dead body in a pool of blood. Jack was convinced that a man dealing with everything Ianto had been through over the last few months was nothing if not suicidal. If anything were to push him over the edge it would be nearly being eaten by cannibals.
Pounding on the door of Ianto's flat, Jack allowed only a few moments to pass before he opened his wrist-strap and used it to override the electronic lock.
Inside the flat was dark and quiet. All the shades were drawn and aside from a slow drip coming from the kitchen faucet, there were no other sounds.
Jack sucked in his breath and rushed through the flat to the bedroom, his heart leaping in his chest as he took in the sight before him.
Ianto was on his stomach, spread eagle on the bed and still dressed in his blood-soaked clothes from the day prior. In one hand he clutched an empty whiskey bottle and in the other, a framed photo of he and Lisa grinning wildly, cuddled together on a blanket. Jack crossed the room in two large steps and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt Ianto's shallow breath on his hand. Extricating the bottle and photo from Ianto's hands, Jack gripped his shoulders and shook him gently.
"Ianto," Jack placed his lips directly on his ear, softly kissing and whispering at the same time.
"Wake up," Jack murmured.
"Hnnnnnnggggg," Ianto grunted and stirred.
"That's it, come on," Jack shook him a little harder, trying not to gag on the stink of him. Blood, sweat, adrenaline, and alcohol made for a very unpleasant odor.
"Stop it," Ianto finally grumbled as his eyes fluttered open. They were glassy and red, either from the alcohol consumption or crying though likely from both.
"Get up," Jack murmured as he tried to urge Ianto into a sitting position.
"No," Ianto slurred as he closed his eyes and turned his face away from Jack.
"Yes," Jack said firmly as he leaned over and pulled Ianto into a sitting position, dragging his legs over the edge of the bed. Jack ignored his moans of protestation and pain.
"What do you want, Jack," Ianto pleaded, his tone frustrated and pathetic. His glazed eyes examined Jack with obvious resentment.
"I want to make sure you're okay," Jack said as he knelt on one knee and pulled off the scuffed and blood-stained shoes that Ianto was still wearing.
"You didn't show up today and you didn't call," Jack added as he started unbuttoning Ianto's blood stained shirt.
"I can do it myself," Ianto said, pushing Jack's hands away and fumbling with the buttons.
"Then do it," Jack said, suddenly angry. Standing, he watched with mounting frustration. The pitiful man before him bore no resemblance to the hero that Tosh had described to him that morning. It was hard to imagine the hung-over man now sitting on the edge of the bed, head-butting anyone.
"Take off your pants and get in the shower," Jack ordered, "I'll make coffee."
Leaving Ianto to finish undressing, Jack moved into the kitchen, tossing his greatcoat over the back of the sofa as he went. It wasn't long before he had coffee brewing and was examining the contents of the fridge for something to feed them. Jack heard the shower start and he hoped the hot water would help detoxify and ease Ianto's sore muscles.
Emerging a short while later, Ianto was dressed not in his usual three-piece suit but in gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Jack had only seen him dressed in casual clothing three times that he remembered and he found himself ogling him unashamedly. His hair was slightly damp and Jack noticed there was a slight curl in the front. Ianto's face, though marred with cuts and bruises, was clean shaven.
"I doubt it's as good as yours, but it should help," Jack said as he handed Ianto a hot cup of coffee.
"Feeling better?" Jack asked as Ianto slowly lowered himself onto one of the two stools set up at the breakfast bar separating the kitchen and the living room.
Offering a curt nod, Ianto raised the cup and inhaled the aroma before taking a sip. Jack watched him closely. He moved slowly and deliberately, as if it hurt to even breathe. Jack imagined it must. From what Tosh had told him, Ianto really had taken the brunt of the abuse.
"Thank you," Ianto said, quite formally.
"How are you?" Jack asked, leaning forward on his elbows as Ianto shrugged, then winced. Jack straightened and stared at Ianto, concerned. The man was in obvious pain and Jack had no idea what to do to help ease it.
"I had to toss the bandage for my ribs," Ianto said, staring at his hands, examining his cuticles, "it was pretty rank."
"Owen can wrap you back up," Jack offered but Ianto shook his head.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly, taking another sip of coffee. Jack just nodded and stared at him as he shifted, seeming to try to find the least painful position to sit.
"I can…?" Jack trailed off as Ianto looked up at him curiously.
"If you want me to?" Jack finished, starting around the breakfast bar that separated them. Ianto watched him for a moment than nodded.
"There's a First Aid kit in the bedroom closet. I bought it when-," Ianto stopped himself suddenly and if there were more to that sentence Jack knew he wasn't going to hear it.
Nodding, Jack retreated to the closet. Ianto's suits were hung neatly, evenly spaced and arranged by color and style; pinstripes, blue, black, gray; red shirts, gray shirts, white shirts, blue shirts. There were so many ties on the three separate tie racks that Jack, at first glance, noticed at least 20 he'd yet to see worn. There roughly ten pairs of shoes on the floor, arranged neatly in a line and shining brightly from freshly applied shoe-wax. Jack didn't miss the small section of closet that held several outfits that likely had belonged to Lisa. At the back of the deep closet Jack glimpsed the red first aid kit.
"Right. Shirt off," Jack returned to the kitchen and stood before Ianto as the younger man slowly started to peel off his t-shirt. Jack reached out to help, pulling the shirt over his head and trying not to react to the sight of his battered body. His entire torso was black and blue. The area near his navel was so black Jack wondered how it was even possible there were no internal injuries.
"Shit," Jack whispered under his breath.
He looked back up at Ianto and shook his head.
"I'm sorry," Jack said, the guilt and the realization that it was his fault Ianto was hurt was finally hitting him. "I never should have made you come with us."
Ianto gave a half-hearted shrug and closed his eyes against the obvious pain of the gesture.
"Wouldn't have prevented what happened to everyone else," Ianto said quietly.
Jack didn't respond to the truth of the statement as he set to work wrapping Ianto's ribs as tight as he could, trying not to cause him more pain. He found it hard to care about the others at the moment because Ianto, the only one who really shouldn't have been there, had been and was hurt. Hurt as a result of Jack's stubbornness and selfishness.
"That good?" Jack asked when he'd finished, standing back to take in his work.
"Yes," Ianto replied, seeming to breathe a little easier, "Thank you."
"Seriously?" Jack laughed bitterly.
"Don't thank me," he added, helping Ianto back into his t-shirt. "Remember this is my fault."
Ianto didn't respond at first, he just looked at him. Jack felt growing discomfort under his scrutiny, it was a feeling he wasn't used to.
"What?" He asked, the urge to run from the apartment threatening to overtake him.
"Why are you really here, Jack?" Ianto finally asked.
"I'm just an employee, and not a very helpful one as of late," Ianto dropped his eyes and Jack felt the urge to run disappear.
"Are you still drunk?" Jack asked, avoiding the question. If he were honest he might frighten Ianto and really, Jack wasn't ready to try and explain his feelings and actions; he wasn't even sure what they were. All he knew was that the flirtations he'd been participating in since Ianto's arrival at Torchwood had suddenly become something more to Jack. He didn't just want to flirt, he wanted to take action, and that was a truly scary thought.
"No," Ianto gave Jack a sad smile, "I don't think so."
"Should I make us something to eat? You have enough eggs in your fridge for one of my famous omelets," Jack asked, glad Ianto had let his inquiry go for now.
"You cook?" Ianto chuckled and Jack felt his heart warm. It had been far too long since he'd heard that sound.
"You have no idea," Jack winked, pretending to be affronted as he moved into the kitchen.
Jack banished Ianto to the couch while he cleaned up the mess he'd made cooking. Cleaning up was not a job Jack was used to, but it was the least he could do. Ianto deserved a break after the last few days.
When Jack had cleared the dishes he moved to join Ianto. Standing over him, Jack watched him for awhile. His eyes were closed and his arms were wrapped protectively around his middle. His breathing was shallow but strong.
"It's rude to stare, sir" Ianto said finally, opening one eye to Jack.
"But you're so nice to stare at," Jack said, shrugging unapologetically. He perched on the edge of the coffee table opposite Ianto. With his elbows resting on his knees Jack's fingertips were centimeters from Ianto's legs. Jack wanted desperately to reach out and touch the other man.
"I should probably go and let you get some rest," Jack said reluctantly as he noticed his coat was half under Ianto.
It will smell like him later, Jack thought with nervous excitement.
"If you want," Ianto replied, a strange expression on his face. Jack stared at him, trying to determine if the feeling he was getting from him was only wishful thinking on his part; that he wanted Jack to stay.
"Or; I can stay," Jack said softly, taking a chance and stretching the fingers of his right hand to touch Ianto's leg. Jack kept his eyes on the other man as his hand became bolder, moving to the top of the knee and gently squeezing. Jack watched the younger man look down at Jack's hand on his leg, then raise his eyes to look at Jack. Not seeing fear or trepidation in his look, Jack reached out his other hand to match the movements until he was gently massaging both legs. What had started as a frightening and terrible day was quickly turning into something wonderful.
Leaning his head back against the sofa, Ianto closed his eyes as a soft smile played on his lips. Jack had to work hard not to grin with adolescent joy as he gently worked the muscles around Ianto's knees, the lower quadriceps and the upper calves.
They sat like that for awhile; Ianto quiet while Jack kneaded the knotted muscles in Ianto's legs. He was about to lift Ianto's legs to his lap and start working towards massaging his feet when Ianto shifted on the sofa, catching Jack's attention.
"I lied," Ianto said softly.
Jack momentarily paused as he felt his defenses rise. Ianto glanced at Jack briefly before shifting his eyes around the room.
"About?" Jack prompted him, speaking carefully as he slowly pulled back his hands.
"About Lisa. Being the last person I kissed," Ianto looked at Jack, "I was mad at you. It was silly and petty but there it is."
Jack nodded slowly, unsure of what Ianto was really trying to say. Did he remember Jack's resurrection kiss?
"So, Lisa wasn't the last person you snogged," Jack repeated slowly.
Ianto rolled his eyes and looked at Jack purposefully.
"Jack, I remember," he said finally, his neck and cheeks turning a bright pink.
"Oh," Jack smiled nervously as his hands itched to reach out and pull Ianto's bruised body to him.
"Though I'm not sure I would call that a kiss, per se," Ianto added, staring at his hands.
"Yeah," Jack agreed, "it was a bit one-sided."
Jack watched Ianto's blush deepen and he tried not to laugh. It was so bright against the stark white of his t-shirt.
"So," Jack added, "what now?"
"Dunno," Ianto shook his head as he raised his eyes to meet Jack's, offering a tired smile.
"You're not upset?" Jack asked, suddenly afraid he'd mistaken the signals. He wasn't going to deny that he had been immediately attracted to Ianto from the moment he'd opened his mouth to introduce himself. It was more than his piercing blue eyes and perfect lips; it was the shy smile he reserved for special moments, the way he would stand with his hands propped on his hips. It was the way he smelled and his dry sense of humor.
"No," Ianto replied quickly. Jack smiled and felt his stomach do a small back flip.
"I mean-," Ianto looked a bit panicked and Jack could see his neck and cheeks turning pink once again. Laughing, Jack reached out and caressed Ianto's cheek, feeling a tug in his groin as the other man closed his eyes and leaned his head into Jack's touch.
"Good," Jack traced his fingers down Ianto's neck and before he had time to consider the implications of what he was doing, he leaned forward and gently kissed Ianto's forehead. The younger man didn't move or make a sound, though Jack thought he heard an increase in the tempo of his breathing.
Jack moved from the coffee table and sat next to Ianto on the sofa, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his chest. Ianto came willingly, resting his head on Jack's collar. Jack buried his face in Ianto's hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo as his fingers gently traced paths up, down, and around Ianto's neck and shoulders.
It felt completely natural to Jack, being with Ianto. They sat like that for awhile, neither man speaking. Soon Ianto's breathing deepened and when Jack pulled back he saw Ianto had fallen asleep. Gently pulling one of Ianto's arms loose from around his waist, Jack placed his hand in his. He couldn't help smiling as Ianto's hand gripped Jack's, even in sleep.
The yell woke them both. Jack, dozing with one hand clutching Ianto's and the other threaded through his hair, jumped at the sound. Ianto was struggling against Jack, trying to pull away as he whimpered and yelled incoherently. Jack used both arms to hold Ianto to him as he whispered soothing words.
"Run!" Ianto suddenly yelled loudly as he jerked hard out of Jack's arms, his eyes wide with fear.
"It's okay," Jack reached out for him, but Ianto recoiled like a wild animal.
"Ianto," Jack soothed, dropping his arms but staring hard at the other man, trying to catch his eye to calm him.
"Jack," Ianto breathed out Jack's name in relief as his eyes seemed to focus. His body fell against the back of the sofa.
"Yeah," Jack reached a hand out, placing it on one of Ianto's legs in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.
"It was terrible," Ianto said quietly, "the cleaver was blood-stained and cold and the pressure of the blade on my neck…A few seconds later and I'd have been dead. You saved my life."
Jack stared at Ianto, trying to mask the horror he felt inside. It was one thing to hear the others tell it, but to hear it from Ianto…Jack shuddered to think if he had been a few seconds later. They'd be putting Ianto's body into cold storage right now.
"But I wasn't late and everyone is okay," Jack replied as he inched forward. They'd already taken the first baby steps towards this, and the closer they got the more Jack wanted it to happen; the more he needed it to happen; the more he thought Ianto wanted and needed it too.
"I've never been so scared in my life," Ianto whispered, his blue eyes staring at Jack thoughtfully.
"It's over now," Jack whispered as he shifted even closer. He wasn't very good at offering words of comfort, but he could offer comfort in other ways. He only hoped he hadn't been misreading Ianto's signals this whole time. He didn't think he was, but since being stuck in this time he always had doubts before he made a first move; even with the many years of practice he'd had honing his instincts to this sort of thing. This wasn't the 50th Century after all; people of this time held on tight to their quaint labels.
Jack inched even closer, almost desperate now. The desire to feel Ianto's lips on his was so strong that he didn't think he could stop now even if he wanted to. He didn't pause as he moved in, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against Ianto's in what could be considered their first real kiss (the one they were both completely conscious for anyway).
Jack didn't force it. He allowed the kiss develop naturally, giving Ianto the control. Inside he was screaming for more but he knew he had to let the younger man dictate what happened next.
Ianto's lips were soft and full and at first met Jack's advances apprehensively. Suddenly his lips parted and the kiss turned hungry. Jack responded greedily, moving in closer and supporting Ianto's neck as the kiss intensified. Jack's tongue darted out, meeting Ianto's and dancing around as they quickly found a natural rhythm. Jack's heart was racing and he could feel Ianto's heart pounding as he pressed his chest against the younger man, trying to be conscientious of his injuries while at the same time desperate to be even closer to him. The electricity between them was intoxicating and Jack felt he could kiss like this forever. When Ianto's hands came up to cup Jack's face, he knew he was done for. He wanted this man so much that he was certain he would do anything to have him.
All the attraction Jack had been keeping in check came flooding forward and it was all he could do to control his wandering hands, allowing them to stray only enough to feel the tight muscles in Ianto's shoulders and back. Jack desperately wanted to explore every inch of this man's body but he knew he had to give him time to heal. There would be time for more, he was certain. Based on Ianto's response to his advances Jack was sure this was just the beginning.
The passion began to ease and Jack felt Ianto start to pull away. He let him go, though reluctantly. Jack's breathing was heavy and fast and his lips felt swollen and used.
"There's more where that came from," Jack grinned as the two men stared at each other, breathless.
Ianto laughed nervously, his already flushed skin turning a shade darker.
Jack winked, leaning his head against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes. He felt Ianto place a hand in his and Jack immediately gripped back.
"I'm…Well, I'm not sure what this means," Ianto stammered, avoiding Jack's gaze and visibly nervous.
"It doesn't have to mean anything," Jack said as he grasped Ianto's hand, his thumb stroking the smooth skin.
Ianto seemed to accept this answer and nodding he leaned back into the sofa. They sat quietly together for awhile.
"Jack?" Ianto finally spoke, his voice subdued.
"Hmm?" Jack turned to look at the young man. Their heads were inches apart, resting against the back of the sofa.
"Let's keep this between us, yeah?" Ianto's expression made him appear so young. Jack leaned towards him and planted a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.
"Hey, what I do on my own time is no one else's business," he added.
He meant it too. His personal life was off limits to his team and if whatever this was continued with Ianto, it would remain off limits.
"I'm breaking my own rules though," Jack laughed as he pulled away. Ianto raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"You know, about getting involved with a member of my team," Jack elaborated as he recalled the many other times he'd broken his "rule". This certainly wasn't the first time, and undoubtedly it wasn't the last, but of course Ianto needn't know about all that history. Not yet, maybe not ever.
"Oh," Ianto gave a nervous laugh.
"You okay?" Jack asked, releasing Ianto's hand and pulling back further to get a better look at him.
"Yeah, brilliant," Ianto smiled but Jack could tell it was forced.
"I should go," Jack said, suddenly afraid he was coming on too strong. This man had likely never had a same-sex encounter before and was probably beginning to freak out about it. Jack knew he needed to give him space and time to think about what had happened. He just hoped Ianto didn't come to the conclusion that he didn't want to explore things further. Jack had a feeling they could be really good together.
Standing up, Jack pulled on his coat and moved to the door. Ianto was still struggling to get off the sofa when Jack turned to say goodbye.
"Oh God, I'm sorry," Jack apologized as he hurried back and helped Ianto up from the couch.
"Thanks," Ianto laughed, hugging his midsection.
"Take some pain medication and go to sleep," Jack reached out and lightly stroked Ianto's cheek.
"If you feel up to it, come in tomorrow. But call if not," Jack added and Ianto nodded.
Kissing Ianto's cheeks and forehead, Jack quickly turned on his heels and strode back to the door. Turning back once more, he and Ianto stared at each other for a moment before Jack opened the door and left.
Out in the hall he let out a long deep breath and smiled to himself. Somehow, the horrible events of the last few days had kick-started something potentially great and for once Jack actually felt like things were going to be okay.