Author's Note: Well, I did warn you that updates would slow down TT (I just didn't think it would this much). My muse for this story is trying to flee from me, so the writing is starting to suck. I blame the BB/L multi-chaptered fic that has attacked my brain (and all the other reasons listed previously DX and that I, in fact, did not get any days off last week. Meaning I was working two weeks straight and did not have the energy since I was up at 5am and not in bed until 12:30am). I'll try my best given the circumstances, but I can't make any promises since I've been operating on 4 hours of sleep a night for half of the month. Just know that I'll never abandon a fic even if it does take me forever to write/update it.

Rejoice! I created a section on my profile to keep people updated on my writing progress. Isn't it fantastical?

Anyway. Hope this was worth the wait. :) EDIT: And I know there're two titles. XD I couldn't decide which one I liked better, so I kept them both. 8D

EDIT2: Evil typos... dun worry, I'm slowly weeding the little sneaks out of here.

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Pie

The dull whistle of a chill wind echoed hollowly off the sheer rock faces rearing up into the pale grey-blue sky. Scraggly bushes lurked on unlikely ledges and the discordant squall of night birds and insects sounded at random instances to disrupt the cold hush that had settled on the rock-strewn landscape with the approaching nightfall.

"Why are we in the mountains?" The question broke the tranquil murmur of vague natural sounds.

"We were in the Tree Paths," Near replied as if that would explain everything. Light stared at him expectantly. "It's a concept of diminishing time and space," the seer patiently elaborated, "We enter the Other Realm and warp the material world's sense of distance, allowing us to travel farther with less effort."

"Interesting…" The brunette mused. He had never heard magic explained in such plain terms before.

"Do not be foolish." Near's voice was monotone, but Light swore he was being laughed at. "There's nothing 'magical' about magic. It is purely scientific if you know the laws that govern it."

"Near, you are to refrain from reading minds without permission." L ordered the albino seer. Near shrugged noncommittally and fiddled with a lock of hair next to his ear.

"So…" Light began hesitantly when no one seemed ready to do anything. "What's the plan?" L regarded the brunette for a moment and started down the rocky hill without a word.

"We go that way." Near announced unnecessarily. Light rolled his eyes, but followed the Nekomimi anyway. The teen jogged for a second to catch up to the raven-haired man and dropped back into a walk.

"Would you mind enlightening me?" Light asked with an annoyed expression. L turned expressionless eyes on the teen.

"I should think it obvious, Light-kun." He said. Light scowled.

"Well it's not!" L smirked. He had deduced that Light was not accustomed to being out of his element. Thus, it was very entertaining to watch the brunette become flustered. Maybe that was just the Neko's sadistic side asserting itself… L stopped his silent musing as the brunette continued to pester him for answers.

"Are there inhabited areas about?" L asked the seer, ignoring Light completely because he could.

"There is a small town a couple miles from here if I am not mistaken." Near replied. L nodded in acknowledgement.

"How do you know?" Light interrupted. Near turned dull, black eyes to the brunette.

"A lucky guess." He deadpanned. There was dead silence as the three companions contemplated the irony of a seer having to guess anything. Near mentally sighed as L smirked behind a thumb and Light remained entirely oblivious to the sarcasm. L's ears flicked forward as he caught the sound of hammers and indistinct human voices ahead. He assumed it was the wind carrying the sounds, because his ears were not that sensitive.

Light sighed and lapsed into silence. He did not know what to make of this anymore. His entire world had flipped over—granted, it was his own fault, but he still had no idea what to do about it. Sure, he may be doing his running around with an attractive cat man, but… the teen did a double take on that thought. Attractive? What? Light scrutinized the quiet Nekomimi curiously. The man was grime-streaked and shaggy as ever. There were a few additional rips in his jeans and a sleeve that had been torn completely off during their encounter with the imp. Light frowned. There was dirt smudged across one cheek that the man didn't even notice and he had horrible posture.

The teen's eyes narrowed in thought. If he ignored his own abhorrence of poor hygiene and looked at it from a purely objective point of view, he supposed the Neko was quite attractive. He had narrow, but strong, features that most would describe as 'aristocratic,' and Light could see well toned muscles where the rips in his baggy clothes revealed pale skin. Light started as he realized that Ryuuzaki was staring back—with more than a little amusement.

"What?" Light asked suspiciously.

"I was about to ask Light-kun the same thing." L's eyes were entirely too wide and far too innocent for Light's comfort. "And as much as I am flattered to have an attractive young man stare at my body for ten minutes straight, I am afraid I must ask you to refrain from doing so in the future. It is fairly distracting." Light's lips thinned into a tight line, his expression once again conflicted between annoyance and embarrassment. What body, damn it? He couldn't see anything with those giant clothes on! Light tensed and shook his head vigorously. Not that he wanted to; it's just… The brunette gritted his teeth and stared resolutely into the distance. No. He was not going to think about this. The bastard was just messing with his head.

"Stop making it so easy, and maybe he will stop." Near advised the brunette, watching the exchange with interest (both the verbal and non-verbal thoughts). L shot the seer a look for reading minds again, but it was tinged with resignation. "L, you might want to change before going into the town." Near informed him abruptly. "We are trying to remain unobtrusive, correct?" The Neko stopped and nodded before drifting off somewhere out of sight. Light sighed and crossed his arms impatiently. He was not nervous. Never mind that demons were stalking them, and there was a distinct possibility of one coming to rip him apart while the Nekomimi was away. What if it decided to go after L first? The Neko was obviously the bigger threat, even if it irked the brunette terribly to admit it. He glared at Near when he caught the albino watching him.

"Yes?" His polite tone was forced. Near shrugged and looked away with an unmistakable grin. Light frowned and turned away with a huff. He was beginning to think he had been born to be mocked.

L returned soon after, wearing… the same outfit. It did not have the rips and mud, but it was identical in every other aspect of the word. The Nekomimi fought down a grin at the expression on Light's face. He looked so thoroughly scandalized that the Neko had simply put on a new set of the same outfit.

"Don't you have something more presentable to wear?" Light demanded.

"Yes." Light paused.

"Then why don't you wear it?" The teen interrogated.

"Because clothing is not a good investment for me, Light-kun." L replied with a smile. The teen gave him an expression that could only be described as: 'Huh?' "My clothes rarely survive longer than three days once I wear them." The Neko elaborated.

"Why?" L held up the bundle of clothing he had changed out of for emphasis.

"Because they are usually burned, shredded, melted, cut or stained beyond repair by that point."

"Oh…"

"I wear these because they are inexpensive and it is easy to replace them afterward."

"Right." The teen was starting to feel nauseous at the thought of these life-threatening situations becoming a daily occurrence.

"Would Light-kun kindly continue on and refrain from staring at me once again?" Light flushed and walked briskly toward the town that was supposed to be nearby, unable to see the mischief induced grin on the Neko's face.

"How much longer until we get to the town?" Light asked just as he rounded a jutting rock and came into sight of the buildings. "Never mind." L passed the teenager when Light paused and headed into the town without hesitation. It was more of a village in Light's mind, but there were lots of people – most of which were concentrating their efforts on constructing a defensive wall about the place.

L frowned when many of the humans stopped working to eye him suspiciously—some even showing signs of hostility. That was distinctly unexpected. The Neko stood a good fifteen feet away from the nearest worker and waited for any other signs. Light bumped into him with a squeak of protest – obviously not paying attention. The two groups stood in tense silence for several agonizing seconds before the Nekomimi decided to continue on: just to see what would happen.

What happened: several burly men with sledgehammers appeared. L grinned.

"I don't think they're happy to see you." Light murmured nervously as he peered over the Nekomimi's black mane. L and Near were the ones attracting the attention; no one seemed to be paying any heed to the teenager. The brunette knew he had to diffuse the situation before someone got hurt.

L smirked as the five humans threatened him. They didn't have to say anything; he could clearly read the 'get out' message on their faces. Maybe he was being childish, but he had no intention of doing so. Not when they were attempting intimidation tactics on him. He ignored Light as the brunette put his hands on the Neko's shoulders to stare over his head at the assembled people. It was a little disconcerting when the princess did not bother to step back after colliding with him. He felt the teen's hands tighten on his shoulders as though sensing the confrontational thoughts lurking beneath the Nekomimi's cool exterior.

"You have to excuse my cousin," Light gracefully interceded, easing the older man out of the way with more effort than it looked. L opened his mouth to tell Light exactly what he thought about this 'cousin' business before receiving a mental 'poke' from Near.

:Keep quiet: the seer mind-sent, :He knows what he is doing.: L frowned. He highly doubted that, but remained silent as the brunette went off a little ways to talk with the leader. He strained his ears to try and catch what they might be saying, but all he heard was something to do with a sorcerer. L felt a strange bubbly sensation in his skull that he assumed was what one of Near's 'mental laughs' must feel like.

:Apparently you were cursed by a spiteful ex-fiancé that turned out to be an evil sorceress. So you are now plagued with horrible looks and inhuman attributes: Near informed the Nekomimi gleefully. L was not impressed. Especially as he learned that the quiet seer was considerably more expressive when he did not have to verbalize conversations. :Coincidentially, this is a common enough occurrence that they'll probably believe him—and of course I'm more 'expressive,' it is impossible to mask emotions when speaking mind-to-mind.: L shot the seer a glare as Near tagged the word 'idiot' at the end without realizing it. Near shrugged. :If it makes you feel better, I am an unwanted, but necessary, spellcaster that is here simply to aid you in finding the right ingredients to create a counter potion.: L shook his head in disbelief as the brunette smiled and waved them over. What possessed the boy to think that his story would convince the villagers to let them in?

:He realized that they were concerned about you and I… obviously signs of superstitious humans. The rest was mostly acting skills.:

Need I ask again that you refrain from invading my mind? The Neko concentrated his thoughts to form the sentence forcefully. The seer winced but gave no other signs that it had affected him in anyway.

The two outcasts lurked sort-of-not-inconspicuously a few feet behind the brunette as the teenager chatted cordially with their 'host.' They were being led to a two story building that looked a lot like L's house, further strengthening the brunette's theory that it had been a renovated inn, and not a house.

The interior was crowded with a motley of mismatched tables and benches. It was neatly organized with a barkeep counter to the left, a small fireplace to the right and stairs that presumably led to the rented rooms.

"I hope they have cake here…" Light glanced incredulously over his shoulder as the Nekomimi mused happily to himself. The teen quickly checked to see if anyone could overhear. No, the man he had been talking with was off talking with the owner of the inn.

"Cake?" Light hissed. "Only rich people can afford cake you…" The teen straightened his posture and ironed a pleasant expression back onto his features as Randolph Diggums came back within earshot.

"… well there had best be pie." The black-haired man muttered resentfully. Now that Light had burst his proverbial bubble and pointed out that it was a rather middle class place, the likelihood of finding cake dropped by a dramatic ninety-six percent. He missed cake. And pastry. He missed food of any sort at that point. The Nekomimi stumped his way despondently to a little table at a corner of the cozy dining area. He clambered awkwardly onto the wood chair closest to the wall (he refused to have his back to the room) and perched in the crouch Light remembered seeing in the tree, toes curled around the edge of the seat.

"Ryuuzaki, stop it." Light admonished when the Neko-san stared expressionlessly at the tabletop. He felt like he was babysitting a toddler as L pouted, but refused to look up from the table. "Look, I'm sure they have pie… Or muffins…" He almost laughed at the disgusted look on the Neko's face when the brunette suggested muffins as a comparable counterpart to cake. "If nothing else, dinner will be filling."

"Muffins are not filling, as Light-kun well knows." L grumbled and buried his pouty lips in his knees. Light rolled his eyes.

"We don't eat the muffins for dinner—"

"Well, I do. Which is why I desire cake, but Light-kun says there is no cake." L mumbled miserably as if it were entirely the teenager's fault.

"Cake is not dinner." The brunette informed him haughtily.

"Yes it is."

"No it is not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it is not."

"Yes it is." Light began to feel himself twitch.

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"Is not."

"Ye—"

"Is not Damn you!" The brunette snarled quietly, careful not to let his voice get out of control even if the rest of him was. The teen was so tempted to strangle the contemptuous little freak. The urge doubled as the Neko smirked triumphantly at him. Again.

"Three days and you two are already bickering like an old married couple…" Near broke in with a thoughtful expression on his face. Two sets if eyes turned flat stares his way.

"Pardon me?" The brunette looked completely mortified at the concept.

"An interesting opinion." The Neko mumbled simultaneously. Light glared at him, then back at Near. Of all the people in the world that he had to rely on, it had to be the two most irritating males the world could contrive.

"Well," all three companions jolted and turned to look at their temporary guide as the almost cheerful voice interrupted their entirely mature and relevant conversation, "I'll be leaving you to Maiko-san here." The man said, patting the shoulder of a rather young woman standing next to him. She was petite and had her dark-red hair cropped short. Freckles lightly dusted her sun-tanned features and she carried herself with an assurance that L did not expect to see in someone under forty. 'Maiko' smiled in reassurance as the burly man hesitated in leaving her with the odd newcomers and turned her attention to the three travelers when he finally left.

"So," she got right down to business; L decided that he liked this Maiko-san, "what will you be needing this evening?"

"Food." The Nekomimi said without hesitation. Light rolled his eyes at the lack of tact on L's part. She only grinned in response and nodded as if this was expected.

"Alright, what would you like? There's roast pork already cooked up, and venison stew. The hunters brought in a couple of pheasants about fifteen minutes ago."

"Do you have cake?" The Nekomimi abruptly asked. Maiko blinked in surprise for a moment before shaking her head.

"Uh, no…" L's face fell comically as he had his dreams shattered a second time that night. All those present struggled to keep from laughing outright at the dejected expression on the Neko's face, though Maiko was grinning openly at his childish demeanor.

"… is there pie?" obviously not happy with the alternative.

"Yes."

"What kind of pie?"

"There are several meat pies, raspberry, strawberry-rhubarb, blueberry, apple, apple-strawberry,"

"Raspberry and apple-strawberry." L interrupted her list. She paused, eyebrows pinched together as she tried to figure something out.

"You mean two whole pies?"

"Of course," The Nekomimi frowned as he tried to decide what was so confusing about his order.

"Oh… Okay…" She turned her attention to the other two, wondering if their orders would be any stranger.

"I will have the stew." Near informed her in monotone. The two semi-humans turned to regard the young brunette impatiently while Light debated internally.

"Mm, how does the cook prepare the pheasant?" Light inquired.

"Light-kun will have the pheasant." Ryuuzaki interrupted bluntly with a look on his face that said he was to be obeyed without question. The young woman nodded pleasantly and drifted to the back of the dining room where the kitchen must have been located.

"I wasn't finished!" Light protested angrily.

"Light-kun would have wasted twenty minutes considering his choices, only to choose the pheasant and water," L droned indifferently, "possibly coffee, but I am childish and spiteful, and since I do not get cake, Light-kun is not allowed coffee." Light bristled at the Neko's callous attitude. Never mind that it probably was what he would have chosen.

"What gives you the right to dictate what I can and cannot eat?" The brunette hissed, trying not to consider how Ryuuzaki could easily guess his eating habits after only three days of bickering.

"As I am the one paying, Light-kun should be grateful that I am feeding him at all."

He had nothing to say to that… but if that was Ryuuzaki's way of asking for a 'thank you,' he would be severely disappointed.

"Wait, where did you get money?" Light asked suddenly. L gave him a flat stare.

"I borrowed it." The Nekomimi replied. Near was grinning openly for once.

"Define 'borrowed,'" The teen muttered.

"Suspicion is very unbecoming of a young princess, Light-kun."

"Ryuuzaki…" Light growled in warning. L sighed and looked up at the ceiling as he attempted to think of a way to dissuade the brunette from his train of thought.

"By 'borrowed,' I did in fact mean 'took out of someone's pocket without permission.'" The Neko clarified disinterestedly. He glanced forward as Light simply continued to stare at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be L?" The brunette said. "You know, champion of justice and all that?"

"Well, actually I—"

"Stealing is illegal." The Princess interrupted him bluntly.

"Yes, I am well aware of that." Ryuuzaki said. "Light-kun's powers of deduction never cease to astound me."

"Oh, so it's sarcasm now? Real mature L." The raven-haired exile pouted at his brunette counterpart.

"It is only illegal if you get caught." L muttered resentfully. "Next time we will do it Light-kun's way and starve to death." The Nekomimi sarcastically promised just for spite.

"Hah, at least I have morals, you crazed hypocrite."

"I am certain Light-kun's morals are so very overflowing with mystic abilities that they will uphold him for months without sustenance." L retorted with a crooked grin. He knew he should not be having this argument. It was immature, time consuming and completely fruitless… but he was bored and needed something to pass the time. Something productive did not seem quite as appealing as watching the brunette's face morph into those interesting expressions every ten seconds.

Again Light had nothing to say to that.

"There is our food." Near interrupted the suddenly awkward silence when Maiko emerged from the kitchen. The waitress made her way over to their table and set the dishes before them. She strolled off when it became apparent that they were not the chatty sort of customers the inn usually received.

Light watched in horrified fascination as L's face lit up at the sight of the over-sized pies. The Nekomimi delicately picked up a fork between thumb and forefinger before digging eagerly into the first baked monstrosity—Light was almost certain it was the raspberry one. The teen's face twisted into a comical expression of disgusted disbelief. It wasn't that L was a messy eater (he was surprisingly high-class about it, picking it apart in dainty little bites); Light abhorred sweets, and the thought of eating them as an actual meal was absolutely appalling.

The Nekomimi munched happily on his food, oblivious to the princess staring owlishly at him as he demolished the first pie in minutes. L switched the two plates' positions when he finished with the first pie and started on the second. Grey eyes glanced up finally when he noticed the brunette staring at him.

Light tried to keep his face blank as the Nekomimi looked at him—he really did. L's dark eyes were wide and curious, head tilted inquisitively in the brunette's direction. His fuzzy black ears stuck out in eager attention, his tail waving giddily behind him. Light stared in numb silence. The strangest thing was the fact that Ryuuzaki had taken a rather large bite beforehand and was currently staring at him with buggy eyes and cheeks filled like an over-sized chipmunk.

The princess averted his gaze quickly with a delicate cough to try and cover the grin of amusement twisting his lips. Not working. Light hid the smile behind his hand, faking a coughing fit—but was soon laughing outright into his palm when the Neko frowned in bewildered disapproval at him. Which was a feat in and of itself given the mouthful the feline was chewing. L quickly finished swallowing the bite and pouted at the chuckling teenager.

"And what, may I ask, is so very amusing about my eating habits?" The Neko questioned. Light shook his head in response: no idea. Well, that wasn't entirely true. No grown man had any right to be able to look that cuddly. And the fact that Ryuuzaki (of all people) was the one to do it was hilarious. Besides, the man looked like he was ready to jump on the pie if it decided to make a run for the door.

A pale pink tongue flicked out to capture a few stray crumbs at the corner of his lips before L determined that he was going to be ignoring Light for the rest of his meal. Light turned his attention to his own food, his stomach suddenly remembering that he hadn't eaten in almost two days. Near nibbled on his food indifferently.

"We will be traveling to Kalli," L informed them when he finished off the last of his pie. Light stared at him silently for two seconds, fork poised before his lips as he tried to decide what would possess the Nekomimi to go there.

"… Why…?" The brunette voiced his skepticism aloud. Ryuuzaki shrugged.

"I have political acquaintances that may be able to influence the council there."

"Huh." Light put the fork in his mouth and slowly chewed the piece of poultry. Kalli wasn't a good place to be if you didn't have influence. His mother had described it as downright barbaric compared to most countries—most had gotten rid of slavery by that point. Kalli was sort of heading in that direction, but it was quite common practice to enslave non-humans. "You sure that's a good idea? I mean, for all we know, they could slap a slave brand on you the instant we cross the border…" Ryuuzaki chewed on his thumb for a moment or two.

"I am aware of that, Light-kun, but I am currently out of options at this point." L said. "Kalli is the only place I can be certain that does not have demonic creatures of some sort lurking behind the people of power. They are so paranoid about it that they are very guarded. This also makes them the most likely people to believe my warnings and I need someone to start taking action." Light snorted.

"That also makes them the least likely people to trust you." The princess informed him.

"I do not need their trust, only their cooperation." Light shrugged. He supposed that was true, but trust would probably make things go smoother. Light quickly finished off his dinner as the older man waved Maiko over and asked if she had any spare rooms for the night (he suspected she was the owner of the inn).

"Sure," she replied easily and headed for the stairs. The three companions got up to follow her.

"Unfortunately, we only have rooms with one bed remaining. We can bring up two extra cots." She explained.

"Only one cot will be necessary." L informed her. Both Light and Maiko gave the Nekomimi a funny look, but otherwise chose not to comment. The woman left them in their room soon after to get the required foldable bed out of storage.

"So why only one extra bed, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked after doing a quick inspection of their sleeping quarters.

"Light-kun need not worry about sharing his sleeping space, if that is his concern." Ryuuzaki murmured, his expression even more absentminded than usual. He was probably thinking—about what, Light couldn't even begin to guess at.

"So you're sharing with Near?"

"Do not be dense," the Neko was starting to get annoyed with having to explain every action, "someone has to keep guard, or we may find ourselves being stabbed to death in the middle of the night."

"Right." That hadn't occurred to the teen. He was so used to being able to sleep without worrying about some assassin sneaking up on him that it did not once cross his mind that it was dangerous to do so. He silently reappraised the haggard man before him again. He couldn't imagine how someone could grow to have that as an instinctive response: make sure you post guards, because there's over a fifty percent chance that someone is going to attempt to murder you in your sleep? His thoughts were interrupted when Maiko showed up with the promised sleeping arrangements.

"Light-kun will take the bed, Near the cot. I will take first watch." L ordered dispassionately when the woman left once again. The Neko settled himself against the wall where he could watch the window and door to either side of him, waiting for the other two to climb into their respective beds before he snuffed the candle.

The last thought Light had before fading into unconsciousness was that it was kind of eerie to see large eyes reflecting in the dark every few seconds.

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Author's Note: You know, I think I have too much fun making them argue all the time. XD