YOU DECIDE TO HELP KISAME:
"Hey, Kisame-kun! Kisame-kun!" you yelled as you tripped down the path after the large, blue man. "Wait up, Kisame-kun, I'm coming with you!"
The shark-like man paused and waited until you got within earshot. He then heaved a big sigh and glanced heavenward, saying "Gods preserve us, it's the annoying munchkin again."
You caught up and gave him a playful punch on the arm. "Oh, come on, Kisame-kun, you know you'd be lonely if I didn't come with you!"
He looked down at you out of the corner of his eye. "And why do you really want to come along with me, hmm?"
You smiled up at him. "Because I love cake, of course! I couldn't possibly trust you to pick out the tastiest one!"
"Hmph, suit yourself."
He turned and continued down the path. You fell into step beside him. Of course, you were lying, sort of. While you did like cake and cookies and sweets, you liked Kisame even more. While he was terrifying and unmerciful in battle, at home he came across as more of a pussycat. You thought he was a lot of fun, and enjoyed teasing him whenever you got the chance. Still, you got the feeling that his unfriendliness was only on the surface: an armor to keep his inner self protected from the hurts which others might inflict. This idea intrigued you, and made you even more determined to get past the tough skin on the outside and into his heart.
"So, Kisame-kun, what kind of cake are we going to get? Leader-sama said no strawberries, which is gonna make it more difficult; most people expect to have strawberry cake at a Christmas party."
"You know, I keep asking you not to call me that," he groused, looking straight ahead.
"What, 'Kisame-kun'? But it's such a cute name!" you giggled.
"Maybe so, but it doesn't quite fit, does it. I'm not a child."
"Plus it's alliterative, just like poetry," you continued as if you hadn't heard him. "It just rolls right off the tongue! So nope, not gonna quit saying it! You're just going to have to deal with being called Kisame-kun!"
"Hmph, well at least no one else has started using it," he grumbled, making you laugh.
When the two of you reached the village, you headed straight for the bakery. Predictably, there was a long line of people picking up their cakes for Christmas. As the two of you got into line, you glanced at the selection in the refrigerated cases; most of the cakes did appear to involve strawberries. You heaved a big sigh.
"I wonder why Leader-sama didn't want a strawberry cake. Is he allergic, do you think? Or does he just not like strawberries?"
Kisame was trying to yank the collar of his Akatsuki cloak further up in order to hide more of his face; several people had already noticed him and were giving him horrified glances.
"I don't know and I don't care," he growled. "I'm not interested in knowing any more about him than I have to; he's just my boss."
A couple more people, having caught sight of Kisame, had opted to leave their place in line and come back later to get their cake. Kisame ducked even further into his collar and bent his knees, trying to make himself smaller.
"That's the only thing I miss about my home village; people might've been scared of me there, but they at least pretended not to notice me."
You watched a mother dragging her son, who was staring at Kisame's huge sword, out the door. "It might be easier to blend in if you had left Samehada-kun at home, Kisame-kun."
He looked at you, plainly horrified. "I couldn't do that, Samehada would be lonely."
You raised your eyebrows at him with a smirk, and then turned your attention back to the bakery, shrugging your shoulders. "Anyway, the more people who leave, the shorter our wait in line will be . . . Maybe we could get a Bouche de Noel!" you smiled.
"A booze-de-whatsit?"
"A Bouche de Noel. You know, a Yule log: one of those chocolate roll cakes that has cream in the center and chocolate frosting and it's decorated to look like a log. They're really cute!" You paused to look around some more. "Or we could get a gingerbread house, all decorated with gum drops and Tootsie rolls and candy canes. Those are really cute too!"
He looked down at you with a smirk. "What is it with you and 'cute' anyway? Is that your favorite word or something?"
You giggled and shrugged your shoulders again. "I don't know. I just like cute stuff!"
"Well anyway," he turned back to the front, "we'd better not get a gingerbread house, since that's not technically a cake."
"Good point!"
Even with all the people who chose to leave when they caught sight of Kisame, it still was more than forty minutes before the two of you were walking out of the bakery, Kisame triumphantly carrying a beautiful Bouche de Noel wrapped up in a pink bakery box.
"Yay," you sang out, skipping ahead a few steps. "Success, success! A beautiful, delicious Christmas cake and not a strawberry in sight! Leader-sama will be pleased."
"Yeah, yeah, mission completed." Kisame, noticing the worried looks he was getting from passers-by, ducked into his collar again and sped up his steps, hurrying towards the edge of the village. You had to break into a loping run to keep up with him.
When you reached the forest path, you spoke up: "Hey Kisame-kun, can we slow down now? It's not like we're on a real mission where we have to be someplace quickly, you know!" Of course, you were an excellent runner; you could have ran for hours without tiring. Really, you just wanted your time with Kisame to last as long as possible.
Kisame glanced down at you and slowed his pace, but all he said was "I really wish you would quit calling me that."
You giggled lightly. "But I like calling you that; it's a really cute name!"
He came to a stop so unexpectedly that you bumped into his arm. "Yes, I know it's a cute name," he growled in a tone of voice which suggested that he was grasping at his last shred of patience, "and it does not fit. I am not cute. By every standard that humans use to judge attractiveness," his voice was rising, "I am ugly. So would you please," he was practically yelling now, "quit using a name for me which does not suit me!" He glared down at you.
You were surprised. You had never really seen him angry like this. Apparently, the behavior of the people in the village had really bothered him. Then you realized something: the people in the village had upset him, and he was showing you that he was upset. Whether he knew it or not, he was letting you get a little inside. You couldn't help yourself; a completely inappropriate smile spread across your face.
He noticed it and snapped "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Oh nothing. I just noticed a chink in your armor, that's all." You quickly composed your expression. "Anyway, Kisame-kun, you shouldn't let the stupid people in a stupid village bother you, and you shouldn't assume that because you don't fit some people's standards of attractiveness that means that you know everyone's standards of attractiveness. We're all individuals, and we all have our own ideas about what makes someone beautiful."
"Hmph, I told you not to call me that."
"Dammit, Kisame-kun," you stomped your foot, "you're starting to hurt my feelings! Haven't you been listening to me at all? Don't you have even the slightest inkling about why I always call you 'Kisame-kun'?"
He only turned away, mutinously, with an angry expression upon his face. By now you were feeling so exasperated that you no longer felt in control of yourself. You had to do something to get him to understand, so you marched around in front of him, reached up to grab his face, and brought it down close enough for you to plant a firm kiss on his lips. The skin of his cheeks was rough and prickly against your palms; it reminded you of patting your dad's face when he hadn't shaved for a couple of days. His lips, however, were surprisingly smooth, warm and soft.
He broke out of his shock and pulled away from you. "What the hell was that for?" he yelled, a faint blush staining his cheeks purple.
"That? . . . That!" You threw your hands up in the air and yelped in frustration: "Arghh! That, Kisame-kun, was yet another apparently useless attempt on my part to get it through your thick skull that I like you! I call you a cute name like 'Kisame-kun' because I think you're cute! I think you're beautiful and handsome and gorgeous and . . ." You were glaring up at him, your eyes raking his face. ". . . and I really like your hair. You make me laugh and you make me feel at home in a very strange place and I'm happiest when I'm with you and if stupid Leader-sama would just get a clue and make me your partner you would never be able to get rid of me!" You took a breath in. "Is any of this even getting through to you?"
The expressions on Kisame's face while you were giving your long-winded speech were a wonder to behold. If you had only been paying attention, you would have had a good laugh. What started as anger melted into disbelief, and then uncertainty; this was followed closely by the look of someone gearing up their courage to do something that terrified them. As you finished your last question, hands on your hips and still looking mad beyond belief, Kisame reached out quickly and grabbed your shoulders, dragging you to him and planting his lips on yours. This time he was participating in the kiss: his mouth moving gently against your own; his tongue darting out to tickle your lips. When you opened your mouth on a sigh of contentment to let him in, he wrapped his arms around you and crushed you comfortably between his chest a a tree. The kiss became more passionate, with your tongues dancing in and out of each others mouths. But when you accidentally pricked your tongue on one of his very sharp teeth, and you both tasted the blood, it was he who pulled back in horror.
"Oh, Natasha-chan, I'm so, so sorry," he whispered.
"Don't be silly, baka," you reached up to bring his head back to your own. "Your sharp teeth are part of what make you yourself. It's just a little blood anyway." And you kissed him again.
When you finally pulled away from each other, conscious that it was getting late and you needed to get back before it got too dark, you were both very happy.
"Now we'll just take this cake . . ." began Kisame. "Gah, where's the cake?"
After a few minutes of frantic searching, the two of you found it a little ways back down the path, where Kisame had, apparently, dropped it. The box was a little dirty, but the cake was, thankfully, unharmed. Everyone agreed that it was a very tasty cake at the party the next day. However, the main topic of interest was how unfathomably happy you and Kisame looked. Especially Kisame!
Your kiss was long, returned with fervor, and just a little painful!