Love is a strange feeling, I think I experienced twice. My first love would always be Lexi, she have been in my life almost forever but at 15 I started smiling every time I thought about her, I always wanted to touch her, kiss her and hug her, yes, definitely I was in love with her. We broke up because she left but I am sure we would still be together if she was back here.

Emma was my second love, I really loved her, she was a free spirit, she was funny, smart, beautiful and loved sports as much as I do but she was to free for me, I wanted more romantic things and she didn't and that's why we broke up.

I never loved Hayley. She was too busy and a very manipulative person. No, I never loved her.

But now that I am scarred I keep feeling like I would never been in love again or better, that I would be in love but I would never have a girlfriend because girls don't like boys like me even if my moms and sisters said it didn't matter. Today in first period I have a class with Emma.

-Hey Em

She immediately hugs me –Oh my God Jesus, are you ok? The nurses never let me enter your room because only close family was allowed. You seem ok to me –she hugs me again – oh my god I'm so relieve.

She see me ok? Is she blind or what?

-Are you blind or what Emm? I don't look ok, look at my face, I have scars and I'm defeated.

-Mariana told me about this but I didn't believe her because it's not like you Jesus, you think I like a guy just because she is handsome or strong? I like a boy if he is funny, sensitive, honest and if he demonstrate to me that he love me. You have beautiful eyes, big and beautiful smile and you are still yourself inside, right?

-Yes…I suppose.

After my conversation with Emma I was so much happy and a little more confident. What if I actually have a chance with her? So I asked her if she would go out with me after school and she said yes. And here we are, having a walk while eating ice-cream.

-You enjoying it? –Emma is enjoying the ice-cream more than a little kid

-Yes, it's so good, yumm. Anyway, told me how you feel, I'm not just your ex-girlfriend, I'm your friend and I care about you so told me.

-Where fo I start? The first weeks were horrible, I was in bed: crying and feeling tired, feeling like crap, I didn't talk with neither of my moms or my siblings and I was mad all the time but I was mad because I felt ugly and I don't like to feel ugly, I just wanted to be myself again so I first talked to mom and they told me they were proud of me and they would forever love me and blab la bla, I mean, they are my mothers –I sighed – what are they suppose to tell me? But then, then Callie and Mariana made this super awesome round around the house looking for photographs involving all my siblings and they told me that my face was the same, exactly the same and that they didn't care. I still feel insecure and a little sad but I am healing, I suppose.

Emma look at me with tears in her eyes and give a lingering kiss on the lips –And you feels like nobody would ever love you? That you would never have a girlfriend? –I nodded- I promise you that girls would still found you attractive, when you look at them with those eyes, when you smile at them or when you take your shirt off too.

We laugh and then see the sunset until I receive a text from Mariana telling me that dinner is almost ready and I have to be at home in 10 minutes so Emma took me in her car. She stop in my driveway and I look at her: thank you, you really make me smile today and you made me feel like myself again.

Suddenly her lips are on mine and I realize that I can still do this, that nothing forbid me from this and that she meant everything she said earlier. We kissed for two minutes until we needs air. She said: this means nothing Jesus, it was just the moment, ok? I'm not ready for a relationship yet.

-Yeah, yeah, me neither. Don't worry.

We hug each other and I enter the house, when I enter the kitchen I count the people in there and there are seven people, there's someone there that shouldn't be, she is in my stool and…Oh my god, is my first love, is Lexi, sitting there beside Mariana, laughing that beautiful smile.

-Lexi? –She turn around and immediately hug me, she has tears in her eyes –What are you doing here?

-We came back, my parents and I can officially live in America. But we came early because I was worried about you and Mariana. Are you ok?

Her eyes stop in my scars for a moment but immediately look at my eyes again and smile.

-Yeah, can we eat and then I told you everything?

-Yes, of course.

We have a very relaxing dinner where Lexi told us everything about her time in Latin America and then we went to my bedroom:

.How are you really doing? I know you and I don't see the happiness in your eyes…

-Because I'm not happy Lexi, I'm depressed, I can play sport, I can wrestle…and look at my face.

-Mariana told me about this too, listen –she put her hand on my scars and look at my eyes – you are beautiful with or without scars, with or without this defeated cheek. You think I was in a relationship with you just because you are handsome? –I look at her grinning- Well, yes, that was one of the reasons but I love you because you are funny, generous, sensible and one of the best friends I know. Your eyes used to shine with happiness and I hope I can take that happy memories again.

And she kissed me, in less than 3 hours two girls had kissed me, the two girls I had ever loved but with Lexi…it was more familiar, it was better. We make out for a while until I hear Mariana's scream and there she is, smiling like crazy at us.

-OMG, OMG, I love this, I love this!

Lexi stands up and told her that it was just a kiss, that we are nothing yet. And suddenly I am smiling and joking with them again, the three of us had been friends since we came here ten years ago so…being reunited with Lexi is what make me even more happy.

…

This past three months I had started to be myself again, the scar on my left eye is not bothering me anymore, my hair hides the burn marks and the doctor told me something that help me get through this:

-Jesus, the disfigurement is irreparable, I'm so sorry but we told your moms we couldn't do anything and we can't, is impossible with this type of things but I have something that can make you so happy –mom grab my hand and squeeze it, giving me hope- You want to know what it is?

-Yes, please

-The leg is much better with all the rehabilitation we had done and now you have a 70% of mobility, if we perform a surgery we can improve it to a 90%, of course after the surgery you would have to continue with the rehabilitation exercises but in 4 months you would be able to practice sports again, not all sports but you could wrestle again or idk, you like baseball? What about football? The only thing you have to do with your legs there is run. What do you think?

-I…I don't know –I look at my moms –I want to talk to you –Then I look at the doctor again- Can I have time to consider it?

-Yes, talk to your moms, think about this and then call me with a decision.

At home we talked about it:

-Son, you have two options: stay like you are with a 70% of mobility or do the surgery and probably you can have a 90% of mobility. With the 70% you can have a normal life and play sports like tennis or paddle and with the surgery you would be able to do what you like the most: play baseball, football, even wrestle. We would support you in every decision. We did this with Brandon when we realized it was his decision.

The next day I decided I wanted to play sports again, I wanted to do what I liked the most. So the next month they did it and now, in this two months and one more I'm doing rehab exercises and then I can play again, slowly, but I can do what I'm best at.

What about love life? Well, I decided I wanted to be just friends with Emma and Lexi until I was myself again and knew who I wanted to be with. And it have been right, we went out on friendly dates, we sat together in class and they weren't jealous when I started hanging out with Maddie but we just made out and had sex, nothing more. But now that I have my life back again I had made a decision and Lexi is the one I want to be with.

Tomorrow I had to tell them this and ask Lexi out. I hope everything goes well and we have future.