Hey there! So...it's been ages and I'm totally sorry. I was distracted by being home from uni and... yeah. BUT, I've chosen a special occasion to upload... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILY LOVELESS! In honour of our lovely Loveless here's a chapter without that much Naomi... Hey, if I was a script writer she'd appreciate the rest! And the Naomily scene... Anyway, enjoy!
Look at mah big shiny warning: So...there are a few naughty things, not nearly enough but still...heads up.
Emily
"Em, you're doing it wrong."
"Thanks for the support, Maxxie; I've never done this before!"
"I know you're a natural! Just close your eyes and go with the flow."
I nodded and closed my eyes, only to open them again after a moment, "I can't close my eyes and jump across a room," I looked around the dance daunting studio space with a grimace, "I'll smash my face on the wood…"
"That would definitely be a shame, it's gorgeous." One of the members of Maxxie's dance troupe, Lucas, said as he smiled at him. If it had been a sleazy grin I would have been pissed but his good nature meant that I didn't take it to heart. Besides, if I was straight, I would definitely go for the devilishly good looking, mixed race man. If Katie ever gets her hands on him…
"Back down, Luke, she's not into dick, remember?" Maxxie said, shooting Lucas a warning glance, handing me my bottle of water. I thanked Max and took a long swig, I was so worn out and I'd only been doing this for a few measly days. How did Maxxie and his troupe cope?
"It's okay." I sighed out, my thirst quenched, "I am certainly reserved for women but I have a twin sister. As far as I know she would be more than happy to take you up on your…offer."
"You make it sound so illicit, Emily." Lucas tried to look haughty for a moment before he broke. "You have a twin?!" His eyes were alive with excitement, "That's hot."
"So they say." I shrugged nonchalantly but grinned.
"When you're done, gents!" Maxxie wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist as he pulled a water bottle away from his face.
"Alright, alright, Lady Oliver. Lead on." I turned swiftly on my heel and faced him, as straight as a soldier. Actually, I met a soldier once and, believe me, she wasn't straight.
"From the jump of doom then, guys!" Max ordered, ruffling my hair before the three of us went to the corner of the room. I braced myself, dancing on the balls of my feet. "Hit it, Bianca."
Bianca was a young girl with huge afro hair that I was insanely jealous of, she'd been very excited at the prospect of appearing on camera so she'd joined us. To her disappointment though, my camera man Jensen wasn't filming nearly as much as she must have anticipated, so she sat on a stool in her oversized dance hoodie, pressing play on the computer with a lethargic nod.
We waited a moment before hearing our cue in the music, running and leaping across the room, landing in a crouched position on the floor.
"Fucking perfect!" Maxxie celebrated over the music, "Sorry for swearing, B! Right, carry on."
Bianca acknowledged her troupe leader with a wave of her hand and a yawn.
Jensen had gone back to the station, Lucas, a friend of Bianca's family, dropped her home and Maxxie and I had cleaned up and gone for a chat. Just by the river with no drink or drugs, Max was well into fitness and he didn't pollute his body.
"Non-stop bitchery for the last three days, eh?" Max asked, letting his legs dangle off the edge of the dock. "That's rough."
"It is! I should complain, right? Co-workers aren't supposed to treat each other this way…right?"
"Yeah, but they aren't supposed to sleep together either, Ems." He reminded me; I let out a huff and tossed a rock in the river. There wasn't any sleeping…
"You want to know the worst thing?" I obnoxiously didn't wait for his answer, but I was so wound up and he was the only one I could trust with this, he was firmly on my side. "It's that she treats Katie differently… Just like everybody else! They spilt drinks over each other the other night and Naomi couldn't apologise enough, even took her out to the van to get her cleaned off."
"Ooft."
"Max!" I whined, resting my head against my knees.
"Em..." He was patting my back, "It seems like-"
"Oh!" I growled, my head shot back up so fast that he jumped in shock, "It just gets me that Katie gets things so easily. The girl I like won't even look at me and she and Katie are thick as thieves all of a sudden. They'll be at that fashion show tonight linking arms, laughing at jokes important old men say, maybe they'll get drunk and Naomi will make a go of both twins!" I reeled just a bit.
"Emily!" Maxxie took my face between his hands, "Breath, yeah?"
I did breathe; it was more difficult than I would have anticipated.
"Good." He said in a soothing tone before letting me go, "Now, are you aware you just said you 'like' her."
"No, I didn't." My reply was a knee jerk reaction.
"You do." Maxxie carried on regardless, "And you're upset that you and this Naomi girl didn't skip off into the sunset on Monday. You're a romantic idealist, I can see that, I'm not sure where you get that from, maybe you know."
I looked at him, recognition growing within me suddenly. My mum and sister…shit. I'll be keeping that revelation to myself.
"And it sounds like you're fucking frustrated too…" He grinned wryly.
"You…" I looked at him for a moment, torn between amusement and annoyance, I nudged him, "You suck."
"Way more than you do." He winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh, he's so damn lovable.
Another person who was extremely lovable met me when I went back to the studio to go over the tapes of the shoot today.
"H-hi, Emily!" JJ was in one of the editing suites, he'd surely been making sure everything was ready for the broadcast the following day. It was sweet how I still made him nervous but I wanted us to be friends, we needed to be comfortable around each other.
"Alright, JJ?" I said as I took a seat, fishing out my report.
He seemed to take my question literally, "Yes, I'm good. Great actually, really. It's nice to talk to you again. Um, how are you?"
I couldn't help but smile to myself as I looked at the discs and placed one in, "I'm great, JJ, thanks." My smile faltered as I realised I wasn't being honest with him.
He caught my change in mood, "What is it? What's wrong?" It was as if he was worried he'd caused it.
I turned to him fully, speaking in what I hoped was a kind tone, "It's okay, it's not you." He took the initiative to take a seat, an invitation for me to continue. "Well… I'm getting along with everyone here so well…except for Naomi…and Franky…Effy's not bad, I assume she's like that with everyone?"
He nodded a lot, "Fit and mysterious, yes."
"Yeah…" I trailed off. "Wait, which one?"
He pondered it for a while, "All three actually. Effy in this incidence though."
I quirked an eyebrow and grinned at him, "Look at you, JJ. Got an eye for those three ladies?" I winked.
He blushed and shook his head readily, "Well, no… Not that I wouldn't…I mean… Naomi is strictly lesbian from what I can gather, she's not shy about it, it's rather commendable. Effy is quite the enigma and is obviously fit," I nodded along at this part, "I used to love her but that just caused problems-"
"You loved Effy?" I inquired, shocked. He was stuck for words, it was either a touchy subject or a long story and I didn't want to give him too much to over-examine, "Sorry, carry on…Franky?"
"Yes, then, Franky…she's not fit, she's beautiful, but she's bisexual and if she has the choice of both genders it makes it a statistical unlikelihood that she would go for me." He said that so casually that it broke my heart a little.
I looked at the man in front of me, unable to help but feel upset that he didn't have the confidence to believe in himself, he reminded me of how I used to be, all I needed was someone to give me a push but I had to do it myself. "JJ, you're more than good enough for anyone." I said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He looked from the hand to me and then gulped, "That's nice of you to say, Emily. It's hard to put that theory into practice."
"Hey!" I continued, "Take it from me, any woman would be lucky to have you. I fucking adore you and I've only known you a few days." You seem to make a habit of adoring people quickly around here.
He smiled at me, quite pleased by the look of it, "Thanks." He shook his head, "Ah, sorry…you were down about not being friendly with them."
I dropped my hand and leant back in my chair with a sigh, "Not so much that…they don't have to like me…"
"I wouldn't take it personally. They're probably just siding with Naomi." JJ said in a helpful manner.
These words tumbled around in my mind for a moment as I processed them, "Siding with her?"
He nodded, "Yes, I mean, you and Naomi are both going for the same job, aren't you?"
"Naomi's going up for anchor?" I asked, alarm rising inside me like bile in my throat.
"She is." He agreed. "You'd both make very good ones. You're both people that others just seem to admire or adore." He corrected himself quickly, "Or so it seems."
Naomi was going for anchor!? Of course! Of course that's why she doesn't fucking like me! I'm trying to take her job! Jesus Christ! Hang on, now that I know…I can fix it…
I jumped up and then scrambled round to put the discs away as an afterthought.
"Emily?" JJ asked, looking up at me in confusion.
"Do you know if Naomi's left yet?" I asked him as I fumbled about.
"She usually stays quite late." He watched me, his expression clearly perplexed.
I finished and leant down to kiss his cheek, "Thanks, JJ." I smiled at him before heading out and looking around the office for Naomi's private one. I'd been promising myself that I wouldn't seek it out, I didn't want to be that girl. My stomach was twisting with excitement at the mere knowledge of why she was angry at me, just being in the know filled me with a ridiculous amount of elation. I finally came across the door to her office and now that I was stood before it, I felt far more nervous than before. I hadn't registered knocking the door until it was done, I took a deep breath.
"Franky, I'll go in a bit." I heard her call from the office.
I bit my lip before walking in gingerly, "Not Franky…"
She looked up from her work and then did a double-take, obviously not expecting me. Her pen seemed to launch from her hand and she grabbed for it as it rolled across her desk and fell off it. She closed her eyes for a moment and as she did I took the time to walk over and reach down to pick the pen up, standing up and holding it out to her. She opened her eyes and they stared up at me like she was surprised to see me so close. I really couldn't get over her, all I wanted to do was tuck that messy piece of blonde hair behind her ear and then take the rest of the evening to look into those opal pools of hers. She hesitantly took the pen, "Thanks."
"I don't bite." I joked gently.
Her reply was blurted, but it was exactly what I was thinking, "We both know you do."
"I think that's more you." I gestured to my neck where a bite was still faintly visible. "Don't you think?"
She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, she nodded eventually, "Yeah."
"Look, Naomi-"
"Look, Emily-"
Naomi paused as she was getting out of her seat, looking at me to continue but I did the same, she rose to her full height and looked down at me across the desk. It still surprised me, the need I felt when she looked at me. I knew I would never be able to get over it but maybe, eventually, I'd be able to quench it. I walked to the side of the desk, "I just…I know why you don't…you know…why you won't…"
She watched me before walking out into the room, it was just a short way away but I felt like she was distancing herself, her gaze was fixed to the floor. "What do you know?"
My heart was sinking fast, "Why you can't stand to be around me…Why you shoot fucking glares at me…why when you do look at me, you look like you're holding back from throttling me or something…like everyday's a battle for you when I'm here." She looked up from the floor and at me, "You're doing it n-!"
I was cut off by an eager and desperate kiss. She'd stepped towards me and placed her hands either side of my waist on the desk, trapping me there, but there was no way I wanted to move from this spot. My breath caught in my chest and I felt a jolt in my stomach that would have taken me off my feet if she hadn't been securing me. I kissed her back with the suppressed fervour that had been building up inside me over the last few days. Naomi was gorgeous, she was passionate, smart, talented, fucking explosive when we fucked and I knew the list could go on. Though, the last time could have been a fluke, we'd need to experiment…multiple times.
Her hand had slipped beneath my blouse and she was sliding it up along my stomach, so slowly that I had to gasp into her mouth. She was palming a breast through my bra while pushing me back into the desk. I moved back along it and she was grinning into the kiss as she crawled atop me. "Pleased with yourself?" I asked between kisses, shocked that I was still articulate.
It seemed she wasn't, "Wanted to…desk…fuck…"
I moaned lightly and pulled back to look into her eyes, now laying back on the desk, my hair flying out in every direction, "I really wouldn't mind a desk fuck either…"
"Naomi?"
She was looking at me in a dazed way, so much softer than I'd seen since I'd started work, when she figured out someone was coming (probably due to my horrified expression) she actually groaned, "For fucksakes…" Ego boost. "Emily, I-"
"Why the fuck is the door locked?" The voice I now recognised as Franky's asked from the other side of it.
We stood up and flattened our clothes down, Naomi looking very pouty as she watched me tuck my blouse into my skirt, "Just a second." She looked at me with a smirk, whispering, "You locked the door?"
I rolled my eyes but chuckled softly, "You jumped me, remember?"
She nodded in agreement, obviously not able to help herself as she walked back over to me and glided her hands around my waist, pulling me closer until I was flush against her, I could feel heat rise up in every contour of my body, "You're so fucking…"
"I'm fucking what…?" I smirked at her, internally though, I needed her…right now…fuck anyone walking in…
"Naomi, if you're flicking the bean while thinking about-" Franky sounded exasperated.
"I'm coming!" Naomi turned her head to snap.
"Exactly my point!"
I was about to burst into giggles, Naomi directed me to the other office door, she actually goosed me too. "Sexual harassment in the workplace!" I hissed with a grin at her.
"We're way past that…" She looked at me hungrily and I went weak at the knees, "Go, Em…I'll talk to you later."
With that, I hurried out of the office.
Once again, I found myself alone in mine and Katie's apartment thinking of Naomi. Why couldn't I just have Naomi in my apartment? Why couldn't I just push her back onto my back make her produce those glorious sounding moans and gasps?
She said she would talk to me later and she had my number; I'd texted her details for Maxxie's show coming up. What was she playing at?
Katie burst through the door as I was walking past it, a flush to her face that was an indication that she'd been drinking. "Hey, muffmuncher!" She giggled and hugged me around the shoulders, forgetting to close the door behind her. A few of our neighbours walked past and did double takes to make sure they'd seen me in nothing but a strappy top and colourful underwear, what a relief, I didn't want them to miss that. I smiled insincerely and kicked the door closed with my foot.
"Katie, you're pissed… You have work tomorrow, you have to make sure your piece is edite-" She cut me off, walking me to her room with her for whatever reason.
"JJ is sweet. He'll help me because I look like you and he loves you." She pulled back and looked at me as we entered her room, she sang out, "He loves you." I just gave her a look that was less than amused and she grinned at me, filling the silence by prodding my nose with a "bop".
"You're off your face." I informed her, directing her to take a seat on the bed as I pulled off her shoes, "Tell me you didn't film like this."
"Do I look like fool to you?" She gazed down at me. I peered up at her, "Well, do I?"
"When the fuck did you start saying the word 'fool'?" I removed one of her heels, frowning. Truth be told, I was happy Katie came home like this, it took my mind off things.
"Like Naomi would let me shoot while I was drunk anyway." She was playing with my hair like it was unacceptably messy, even if I was just hanging around the house at about 1 in the morning. At the mention of Naomi I couldn't help but let my eyes shoot up, I cursed myself internally. She was giving me that look, even drunk she was able to shoot me the weapon she used at her disposal to really unnerve me, it was her Why would you do that, Emsy? Look.
I blinked at her, moving her shoes aside and standing up, my tone defensive, "What, Katie, what did I do?"
"I said it was stupid…but you never listen to me…"
"Said what was stupid?"
"Barging in and going for the anchor position." Katie's words were slurred but I could tell strength was behind them. I was shocked but I wanted her to go on. "She's going for it too, Naomi."
"I knew who you meant." I sat next to her on the bed, she looked about ready to sleep off her intoxication, she fell back onto the bed.
"Now she's competing with you but she can't say because then you'll take pity on her…she wants to beat you fair and square…" I felt like little weights were dropping on me with every word my sister said and they were building up steadily. "You made it all…" Katie rested her head on the silk sheets of her bed, "complicated…"
The room was silent now apart from Katie's open mouthed breathing.
I was driving a severely hung-over Katie to work the next morning while she practically inhaled coffee to give herself a boost for the day, "Ems…you've been quiet all morning, what's your fucking problem?"
Of course she'd forgotten everything she'd said. She'd woken up in such an irritable mood that when she'd come in to contact to my bubbling rage, I thought we were going to kill each other.
"You know what, Katie?" I said, staring straight ahead at the road and the traffic that obscured it, "All you ask me lately is what is wrong with me. Not 'Are you okay?', not 'How are you doing?' just 'Why are you doing that and how can I get it to stop?'. Well, guess what… I'm shit."
The lingering alcohol in Katie's system apparently impaired her from taking in what I'd said for a moment, "You're…huh?"
I finally broke through the jam packed road, "Maybe you'd know that if you weren't so preoccupied with yourself the whole time." I pulled us into the staff cark park and broke sharply, turning off the engine and turning to her and unbuckling my seat belt, "You're right actually…there is a problem, I'm the problem, right?" I tossed the keys into her lap and got out of the car, slamming the door shut.
I didn't bother looking back to see if she was followed me to twin-slap me, all I wanted to was get to the morning meeting and just listen without having to think. I wasn't going to look at Katie, I wasn't going to look at Naomi, I was just going to do my work, work that I was good at, work that I did well and earned a right to do well in. Work that I had just as much right as Naomi did to succeed in, despite what anyone said.
As I rounded the corner I was just in time to see Effy pull Freddie in for a kiss, she was holding him by the collar and her eyes were shut tight. I tried to hurry along past but it seemed that she'd opened her eyes to see me, she pulled away from a dopey looking Freddie. "Emily…" She glanced over my shoulder, "Ditched the other Fitch?"
"She was in the car." I tried to seem professional, I really did, but this was Effy I was talking to. That demi-God had a lock on my emotions like that.
"What happened?" She asked, her grip still tight on Freddie's collar, though she seemed unaware of his presence anymore.
I didn't see any point in lying so I just skated around the truth, "We talked and she stayed behind in the car." Effy looked at me, those shimmering crystals that had been bestowed upon her as eyes looking into mine and knowing me more than made me comfortable.
"Well, she's late. I'll go get her." Effy volunteered, walking past Freddie and calling back, "And so are you, McClair."
Freddie checked his watch and muttered, "Oh, shit…" He hurried off with a, "Bye, Emma!"
I watched his form disappear feeling sour, "Fuck you, fuck everything, fuck my life."
I knew I should be anxious about where Katie was, she and Effy were about 15 minutes late now but there was something else that was pushing me to breaking point. Naomi had walked straight past me, like I didn't even exist. Was this just a fucking game to her? Did she get off on toying with me and my emotions? Well, right now they were cracking and fizzing inside of me like electric currents bouncing off my insides and all I wanted to do was cry. If I'd learnt anything over the years of heart ache that being the daughter of a homophobe and the sister of a bully it was how to stay strong. As long as I didn't make eye contact with anyone, I'd be fine.
Unfortunately, people were looking to me and Naomi for answers.
"Naomi-kins, where'd Ef get off to?" Cook asked her, most of the table looking to her, except for me of course. I couldn't risk looking at her.
"She was with Freddie as far as I knew…" Naomi's tone was confused and a little worried. At least she cares about someone.
"Do you know where Katie is, Emily?" Grace asked me and I realised I was going to have to look back at her, there was no possible way I could ignore someone as sweet as Grace.
I cleared my throat but my voice was still husky, "Effy said she was going to get her…I'm not sure if she wanted to talk to her alone…"
"Emily, are you okay?" I didn't expect the voice of concern to come from Franky. Before I could give any indication of my emotional wellbeing, Effy entered and took her seat with Naomi, she and Mini were now taking over full time while Tony worked out things for America.
"Shall we start?" She asked mostly Mini.
"Where's Katie got to, Ef?" Panda asked, looking at the brunette as if she'd hang on her every word, then again, I'm sure most people would.
"I've already briefed her for the day, said she wanted to get started on editing." Effy's eyes flickered to me for the briefest of moments and I felt my insides churn with guilt.
I needed to get away, thankfully I was filming a few more spots for Maxxie's troupe before tomorrow night's show and as soon as we'd finished the meeting, I sprang up and headed off to meet Jensen. I was hastening down a hall when I heard my name being called, "Emily!" I turned around and couldn't help but feel hope and an unwilling but ever present affection rise up in my chest as I saw Naomi walk up to me, my heart was fluttering…but then she spoke. "Did you do something to Katie?"
I couldn't process her words, and I knew I didn't want to, so I turned away from her.
"Emily!" She called and when I looked at her again she looked terrified, funny how the few tears in my eyes could create such a reaction from her.
I held her gaze pointedly before walking into a free editing room; I turned around and watched her hesitate before following me in. I'd never experienced this feeling before, whatever it was it was white hot and rushing through my entire form. I looked at the woman in front of me and words fell out of my mouth, "So, it's fine for you to ignore me and me not to do the same to you? Well, don't worry, I'll make sure to pass on your concern for my sister. I can see now why the two of you are becoming such fast friends, you have mutual interests, both of you are so worried for each other because of me, I really am threatening, aren't I? Speaking of which, I'm sorry…Naomi, I'm sorry that I am a threat to your career, your precious career that I've come along and made so complicated for you. But guess what, I have a career too…and you may have been here, stuck in the same job for a few years and wanting to progress…but I have been working my arse off going from place to place, job to job, honing myself and my work and looking for an opportunity just like this one. You're not the only one who wants to make something of herself. It's not like you have a twin you're living in the shadow of. However, if this is how you want to play it then fine, we don't have to be anything but rivals. You don't have to touch me, talk to me or even look at me because I'd hate to jeopardise you position here. Here's a news flash though, I'm not going down without a fight so you don't have to worry about me pitying you or anything."
I walked past her just like she'd done to me a few minutes ago before the meeting, not looking back before I said, "I didn't come into your office yesterday to have a tumbles…I fucking ran there because I found out that you wanted anchor…I thought that I finally had a way to make you happy. I don't know what I planned to do but all I wanted was to make you fucking happy."
I was glad I didn't look back at her for two reasons. I didn't want to chance seeing any hurt in her eyes and I didn't want her to see how broken mine were.
Okay, so I can see how this will frustrate you... so I'll get on the next chapter asap...and it'll explain a few things. Also, I'm hoping I can write Keffy's side of the story at some point. Review, my beauties!
~BDF