"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Each of the snow flakes that had fallen on his raven hair enraged Sasuke. Each wet hair fell from its perfectly hair-sprayed perch down into his face, covering the swirls of red in each of his sharingan activated eyes. Do you remember how in the movie "Spiderman 3: Revenge of the Suck" how Peter Parker got all angsty? It's kind of like that but take that and multiply it by murdered parents and a shopping spree at Hot Topic.
"I've seen this before on TV," Konohamaru told his henchmen, "we don't have anything to worry about. He's going to be powering up for at least two more episodes. Let's get him!"
Konohamaru lead the two other boys racing down the street, weapons of snowballs colored with permanent dye, and hair clippers.
"-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"
The young boys closed in on their prey, jumping to close the distance of the last 10 feet, ready to wreak havoc on a scale that would knock Sasuke from bishounen platform down into the depths of disregard. The buzz of the electric clipper clicked on in Konohamaru's outstretched hand while two red snowballs whistled through the air, each expertly aimed at his eyebrows.
Time slowed to the point where it seemed like nothing was happening. In the stillness Sasuke could see with sickening detail the evil in these young boy's eyes, but something was blocking his sight. He thick locks of black hair was beginning to completely cover his eyes in a hair style similar to the "emover," and for an unexplainable second his angsty angst was replaced by a complete sense of apathy.
Somewhere across the village Gaara feels the sharp sense of his unique character definition being challenged before the pain fades away.
"-HAMEHA!"
"Hey! That's cheating! You can't finish that fast! You still need to yell mor-" cried out a panicked Konohamaru before Sasuke's fist slammed against the boy's jaw.
Sasuke made fast work of the other two, kicking them while in mid-air through the windows of adjacent buildings. For a second he listened for the sounds of the other boys getting up and continuing the fight, but the groaning and crying let him know that they weren't going to be coming back for more. Konohamaru was crumpled in the fetal position wailing away. He'd just learned the painful difference between the strength of an eight year old and a thirteen year old.
Sasuke reached down and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt before beginning his interrogation.
"Why did you attack me?!"
"We, we, we were told to," came the weak response complete with sniffle induced stuttering."
"You, you, you were told to?! By who?" impatiently mocked Sasuke.
"I don't know who she is really. I haven't seen her before today."
Unsatisfied with the answer Sasuke flipped Konohamaru over onto his stomach and clenched a fistful of hair before grinding his face into the snow. After a few seconds of muffled yells of pain and cold, Sasuke lifted the severely reddened face from the ground
"TELL ME!"
"I don't know!" shrieked Konohamaru.
Again the young boy was forced to face dive into the white wash, only this time the rubbing was harder and lasted longer.
"TELL ME WHO SENT YOU!!!"
By now, not only was Sasuke's hair completely in a floppy disarray, but he was becoming chilled to the bone. Little piles of snow has already begun to collect on his head and shoulders; the flakes that didn't immediately melt in his hair could be confused as huge chunky dandruff to a passerby, a thought Sasuke didn't want to even think about.
But he did.
I know he did because I just wrote that he didn't want to think about it because he was thinking about it and then he thought how he wanted to not think about it. Don't get confused.
"It was a girl!" Konhamaru's words were being broken up by sobs. "It was a girl with blonde hair! She said she wanted revenge!"
Sasuke dropped the boy to the ground with a small thud. He had to digest this information. "A blonde-haired girl that Konohamaru didn't know that wanted revenge?" He needed time to think. He needed time to contemplate. He needed time to get out of the snowfall and fix his hair. But that would all come in due course. There was one last thing he needed to do, and with his eyes redirected to the boy beneath him Sasuke set about his task.
"No... You wouldn't, no! No! NOOOOOOO!!!"
Konohamaru's screams would be heard across the village that day. A resounding scream that no one could deny they heard it. A scream no one cared about because no one cares about Konohamaru.
Standing high up on a mountain that overlooks the village of Konoha, a mysterious figure envisions the future destruction almost as clearly as she sees the reality below her. Her long, blonde hair whips about in the wind, sometimes flying in her face. And though she's frigidly cold, and her hair is tickling her nose, she maintains the pose to seem undaunted by small inconveniences like her need of a bathroom break for the last half hour. Because now, the story is talking about her. And she doesn't want to waste this moment in the spotlight by doing something trivial. Doing something meaningless would take away from the mystery of who she is.
No, she tells herself, there will be other times to pee.
"Okay, you're going to have to run this by one more time. Tell us again what you want to do."
The village elders sat back in their chairs, a physical sign of their skepticism. For the last half hour Chouji had been trying to sell his idea of way to bring a little fun into the villagers' lives, and maybe bring in a little cash into his wallet. What people seldom think about is the ever increasing price of food versus the ever stagnant and dismal salary that ninja, aka government employees, get. All of this is withstanding the cost of health insurance coverage for an entire family of ninja.
What's most people fail to understand is that Choji is more than an eating machine, he's also the shrewdest money maker in all of Konoha.
"It's very simple. For the upcoming holiday, I want to have a festival where all the ninja of the village do a play about a high school drama. The plot of high school drama will be a cooking competition followed by a hot springs resort. Like I said, this is guaranteed to be a hit because of all the TV shows that I watch and stories that I read, these things happen all the time." Couji says all this while talking with large motions with his arms and hands to help the elder's visualize the concept.
"A hot springs resort on a play set could be a little expensive, I'm not sure the village could foot that bill..."
"That's perfectly fine; I have a back up plan. How about instead of winning the prize of going to the hot springs, we all get dirty from a food fight and decide as a class to go to a public bath." To the keen reader, you'll notice how food has never left the conversation. No Shouji would definitely get his cake and eat it too; money and free food, it's all that matters.
"And you're saying that people will watch the play if we do that?"
"I promise."
"Okay, I'm starting to like it. Now what are you going to call the play?"
"Are you ready for this?" Kouji puts his hands up and the air and squints his eyes, as if he were holding the title of the play but that the font size was really really small. "I call it, 'Anime.'"
It's a couple of moments before the room breaks out in applause, a sound that is music to Jichou's ears. A sound that reminds him of a register popping open. Cha-ching!
A.N.: Thank you guys who are still to this day leaving reviews, it means a lot to me, especially to the people who leave reviews and critics for the multiple chapters that I have. I'd like to tip my hat towards Kendii who gave a suggestion that I was able to include in this chapter: authors who can't spell their own character's names. It is defiantely something that needs to be addressed. Now every chapter I write I tell you guys I don't own Naruto... this time I'm going to tell you what I do own to switch this into a positive note.
Author's Disclaimer: I own a car.
Somewhere in the village Shikamaru and Ino steal a gratuitous kiss, after which they hug and share happy joy-joy feelings which makes angst fans want to hurl.