Ch. 6
The very thing you've been the most afraid of , you've been doing it from the start, breaking your own heart. – "Breaking Your Own Heart"/ K. Clarkson (Logen/Hanson)
Olivia awoke somewhere she never had before.
She was instantly reminded of what had happened the day before as the pain and stiffness shot through her body.
Lying beside her.
Long blonde hair, perfectly pure skin…
Naked beside her.
Olivia eased herself up, trying not to disturb Alex.
Olivia, in her own nakedness made her way to the bathroom.
A moment alone.
A moment of reflection.
Unfortunately, a moment literally of Olivia's own refection.
She looked at herself in the mirror.
She winced at the site, reaching for the cut on her forehead and then her cheek.
She looked like hell.
She felt like hell.
She sat on the edge of the tub remembering the night before.
Remembering Alex.
Being with Alex.
Olivia rested her elbows to her knees and planted her bruised face in to her bruised palms.
Her yesterday was extreme.
Being a punching bag, the hospital and then being with Alex.
Just a lot to sink in the morning after.
"Hey there." Alex said softly, watching her from the doorway.
Olivia with a now tear stained face, looked up at Alex.
"Liv?" Alex said worried, sitting beside her on the tub's edge.
Olivia looked at Alex, wiping the tears that had escaped. Alex had put on her robe and Olivia suddenly felt too naked for comfort.
"Um do you have a t-shirt or something?"
"Oh of course," Alex said quickly retrieving Olivia an oversized t-shirt to cover her.
"Thanks."
"You ok?" Alex asked, sitting back down beside her.
Alex couldn't help but read between the lines of Olivia's tears.
Was she in pain? Did she regret sleeping with her?
Alex reached out snaking her arm under Olivia's, taking her hand in to her own.
"I need to know you're ok?"
"I'm ok, just everything hitting me at once this morning. No pun intended." Olivia said with a smirk.
"You don't regret last night?"
Alex had to ask.
"No… no I don't, I wouldn't…" Olivia said looking at her, reaching for her bare knee. "Alex I would never regret being with you."
Alex gave Olivia a soft smile as she leaned in pressing her lips to Olivia's cheek.
Olivia turned to Alex capturing her lips and Alex obliged.
Alex gripped at the bottom of Olivia's t-shirt as if she were holding on for dear life.
"I should probably let you get ready for work." Olivia said, breaking their kiss. "I'll make coffee…" Olivia said, already out the bathroom door.
Alex knew her.
She knew it wasn't easy being Olivia Benson.
Just give her space.
She would shower, give her space.
Olivia started the coffee and searched for her phone.
She powered it on and text after text appeared.
Amaro
Rollins
Fin
Munch
Even the Captain
But only three voicemails, from the same person.
"Hey Liv, you ok? Heard you got knocked around today… call me when you can."
"Hey you ok? How's that sexy bod of yours? Need me to kiss anything and everything to make it better? Call me."
"Liv, a little worried about you, call me back ok?"
Cassidy
Olivia held her phone squeezed between her palm and her fingers for a moment before she sat her phone back down on the counter.
Cassidy.
She searched Alex's fridge for eggs.
Olivia decided she would make eggs and toast while Alex was getting ready for work.
"I made breakfast" Olivia said seemingly a bit cheerier than before.
"Thank you baby." Alex said now dressed in her perfectly fitted gray suit.
Alex poured them both coffee with cream and sugar and handed the mug to Olivia.
"What?" Alex, questioning the look Olivia gave her.
"You fixed my coffee?"
"Olivia Benson I have been having coffee with you for at least a decade. I know how you like your coffee."
Olivia smiled.
Elliot was the only other person who had ever cared to memorize how she took her coffee.
"So how much time did Cragen give you?"
"He said at least take two… then desk duty until the bruises fade… Don't want to be scaring vics."
"Good idea. Guess it would be hard to explain every time that you were catching the bad guy."
"Yeah."
"Thanks again for breakfast."
"Well I figured you had to be just as hungry as I was. Seems we forgot dinner again."
"Dinner never crossed my mind." Alex said raising her brow.
"Poor little lasagna." Olivia joked. I'll stick it in the freezer for later…"
"Good idea, since we don't seem to be getting around to it!" Alex said leaning in to kiss Olivia's lips.
"Will you promise me you will rest today?" Alex said now stroking Olivia' hair, curling the ends around and around her finger.
"I will. I'm going to my apartment, hang out there… you know, and maybe put on underwear." Olivia said flashing a grin.
"Liv, please don't say things like that. I have to go to work and I can't concentrate thinking about you and no undies!" Alex teased.
Olivia stood up gathering their dishes and Alex made sure to check out the somewhat infamous ass of Olivia's that was peeking out from under her t-shirt.
Olivia walked towards Alex who was still sitting on the stool at the counter. Olivia took Alex's hands and placed them on her bare ass.
"I saw you looking Alexandra."
"Guilty" Alex said unashamed.
Olivia kissed her lips.
"Have a good day at work." Olivia said then kissing her again.
Alex squeezed Olivia's ass before she stood gathering her things.
"Help yourself to anything you need… and I'll try and call you later." Alex said before leaving Olivia alone in her apartment.
She took a baseball cap from Alex's.
She figured a baseball cap would at least get her in a taxi and to her own door without too many stares.
Besides the taxi driver's concern and asking, 'lady, are you alright?' Olivia's venture home went smoothly.
When she finally got in her apartment she went straight for the shower. Her muscles needed the warm water and she would be happy to crawl in her bed, taking Alex's advice and taking the day to rest.
As much as she hated to admit it, she was emotionally and physically spent.
After her shower, she slid on a pair of pajama shorts and a clean t-shirt. Olivia lay down and buried her self under her comforter.
She slept.
She slept the afternoon.
She would have slept longer but the knock at her front door woke her.
Olivia made her way to the door, checking first to see the familiar scruffy looking face on the other side.
Cassidy.
Olivia thought of grabbing a robe, but hell he had seen her naked…
"So you are alive..."
Olivia only moved out of the doorway allowing Cassidy into her apartment.
"I don't even get a phone call?"
"I appreciated your concern I've just been… I've been trying to sleep it off today."
Cassidy cupped her cheek, studying her face.
"He really knocked hell out of you."
"You really know how to make a lady feel beautiful." Olivia quipped.
"Oh come on Liv, like a few cuts and bruises are gonna mask how beautiful you are."
Those were the right words make a lady feel beautiful.
She didn't have a comeback.
"Can I get you anything to drink?"
"No, no I'm fine. And I should be asking you do you need anything?"
"I'm ok. Really I am."
Cassidy followed Olivia over to her couch.
"They get the guy who did this to you?"
"Yeah."
"What were you looking for him for?"
"Raping a teenage girl."
"Damn."
"Yeah."
"But hey, you got him right?!"
He understood about catching the bad guys.
Olivia gave a slight smile.
"Yeah we did."
It was quiet for a moment before Olivia let out a breathy laugh.
"What?"
"You and me…" she said shaking her head.
"What about you and me?" He asked curious, now touching the outside of her thigh.
"We've never been in to small talk."
"Well it seems insensitive to ask to have sex with you right now."
"Ha ha" Olivia said rolling her eyes. "Mr. Sensitivity."
"Oh come on Liv," he said now running his fingers up and down her thigh, "You know I care about you… you know how I feel about you."
Olivia rolled her eyes again still making light of their conversation and trying not to react to him touching her the way he was.
He always knew just how to touch her.
"I was worried about you, and I am really glad you're ok."
Cassidy leaned in capturing a quick kiss to her lips.
She wasn't stunned or thrown off by him kissing her. Why should she be?
But she couldn't find the right words or the right action after he kissed her.
As if on cue a knock at the door interrupted the unnoticeably awkward moment.
Olivia went to the door, seeing it was Alex.
Olivia felt the need to wipe her mouth before she opened the door.
As if her mouth were evidence.
She hoped the look on her face would tell Alex she had company.
"Hey I figured I would just come here instead…" Alex said as she quickly leaned in for a kiss.
Olivia dodged her kiss and gestured to her guest.
"Must be my lucky day, Cassidy decided to check on me too." She said wide- eyed.
"Oh Cassidy. Hi." Alex said gathering her thoughts.
Shit, shit, shit.
Giveaway.
"Well you had us all a little worried…" Alex said recovering.
"I was just telling Liv how worried I was and not hearing from her didn't help."
"I am sorry I didn't call you back, " Olivia said sincerely.
"You know I should go, let you two catch up." Cassidy said feeling a bit crowded.
Cassidy reached for Olivia's hand. "Please let me know if you need anything. And I'll see you soon." He said giving her a wink.
"Alex, take care of her. It was good to see you again." He said before making his way out.
Olivia shut the door behind him.
"Interesting to see Cassidy here." Alex said removing her shoes and then her suit jacket."
"I didn't expect that he would actually come by."
"He called to check on you?"
"Oh yeah he left a couple of messages last night… I hadn't called him back."
"Oh… Ok."
"What is that?
"What is what?
"Alex Cabot, are you a little jealous of Cassidy?"
"I am not jealous."
Olivia looked at her.
"What? I'm not jealous!"
"Ok, Ok." Olivia said raising her arms in surrender.
Alex grabbed Olivia's arm and pulled her against her.
Bare feet, toe to toe Alex had a suddenly very noticeable two inches on Olivia.
Alex lifted Olivia's chin to look in to her eyes.
"Bruises look better today..." Alex said now running her finger from Olivia's chin, down her throat, stopping at the peak of her breasts, assuring she had Olivia's attention.
"What if I was a little jealous?" Alex said, her voice a bit more seductive than before.
Olivia raised her brow.
"If this is you a little jealous…" Olivia said looking down at Alex's finger tracing the peaks of her breasts. "I might like it… just a little.
"So can I have that kiss you dodged earlier?" Alex teased.
Olivia instantly pressed her lips to Alex's, capturing her bottom lip between hers.
Chills.
"Sorry about that."
"All is forgivin'." Alex said now grinning. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Of course."
"I don't want to push you Liv." Alex said taking a step back.
"You're not pushing Alex. I want you to stay with me. I wouldn't agree if I didn't want you to… So how does ordering Chinese sound?"
Alex smiled.
"Chinese sounds good."
Olivia pulled the take-out menu from off the fridge and handed it to Alex. "Ok for you to order? I'll get something comfy to put on." Olivia said pressing her lips to Alex's cheek.
Alex took the menu.
Moments later Alex headed to the bedroom already pulling her shirt from her skirt.
"Beef and Broccoli, Chicken Lo Mein… Spring Rolls…"
"Sounds good." Olivia said helping Alex with the buttons on her shirt.
Olivia slid the t-shirt over Alex's naked body. "PJ pants or shorts?"
"Pants", Alex said taking the soft cotton from Olivia.
Alex kissed Olivia "Thanks for the PJs."
Olivia smiled making her way to the kitchen.
"Care for a beer?" Olivia asked gathering plates.
"That'd be great."
Olivia sat everything on the coffee table as the doorbell rang.
"That was quick," Olivia said as she looked at the deliveryman before opening the door.
Both now settled on to the couch, Alex unpacked the food.
"Smells amazing, I'm starving. I hate to admit it, but I slept through the afternoon."
"No, I'm glad you rested today. You needed the sleep."
They finished dinner
"I hate to do this but, I have to make a few notes on a case before tomorrow. Would you mind if I…"
Olivia stopped Alex, kissing her.
"You work, I will read…"
"In bed?"
"Hmm?" Olivia asked, taking the dishes to the sink.
"Bed."
Olivia grinned, "yes in bed."
Alex continued to work, but was certain Olivia only made it through a few pages before she was fast asleep.
She couldn't believe she was lying here, so comfortable in Olivia's bed.
Alex sat her work on the bedside table, along with her glasses. She turned out her lamp and reached over Olivia turning out the lamp on her side.
Olivia stirred.
"I fell asleep," she mumbled.
"I know it's ok." Alex said kissing shoulder.
Olivia never opened her eyes.
Alex reached under Olivia's t-shirts and began to soothingly drag her fingers up and down Olivia's stomach.
Olivia let out a slight sound of approval.
"Sleep baby."
Alex would make Olivia forget Brian Cassidy's name.