Hey everyone! I just want to thank everyone for your great reviews and for being so awesome with that whole mix up. So this chapter was pretty fun to write, (which all of them are) mostly because the dialogue flowed together, so I'm pretty excited the way it came out. I hope you guys Enjoy! ;)

Chapter 5: The Zone of Desperation & a Distraction –(Jim's POV)

The pressure inside me is too much for me to handle as I sit back against the concrete. This can't be right. They must have switched her charts because Pam deliberately starving herself, it just doesn't even sound right, it doesn't even sound normal. I shake my head from the tears that slowly cast down my cheek. Why would she do this to herself? What could have came over her mind to do such a stupid thing? She's perfect, she's so perfect. She's killing herself. She's fucking killing herself.

This pain is becoming way too much for me as a few sobs exit my lips hitting my head once against the concrete, almost trying to shake something in my head to wake myself up from this nightmare.

I close my eyes and feel the cool breeze past by head marking its territory on my cheek.

"Oh Pam" I spit out amongst my tears.

My legs are sprawled out in front of me seeping into the concrete. A few moments later my heart seems to lie there as well. My vision is temporarily blurred. My hands bury themselves in my hair. I soon run out of tears, just in time to see that I couldn't even try to cry anymore.

I take a deep breath and my eyes fall suddenly against the sidewalk. I get lost in a zone of desperation and my eyes don't move. I stay steady in my comfort, looking at faraway places, thinking of far away things.

A moment of distraction blinds me as I see a familiar figure come up beside me. I shudder with a slight of uneasiness. Why would you step out of the fire just to walk around when you could walk straight through to get to the other side?

"It's not fair is it?" the voice starts already sounding on the edge.

"No" I reply, not bothering to look up.

I feel their eyes turn in the other direction away from me, then to quickly turn back to show the face of tears.

"More unfair to me though" I look up at the harsh words and before I say anything I feel the truth sparking within me. It wasn't fair. In this case for either of us, but more of unfair for her.

"I'm sorry Karen" my words strike the sky with the most powerful of things. She doesn't seem threatened by it. she just turns away and asks softly "What's wrong with her?"

I didn't really want to say it because I know more than anything, it was barely my business, much less my business to be spreading around.

"Just really sick" is my only reply, when I close my eyes briefly feeling their weakness.

I hear her sigh and shake her head slightly. "I wish you cared about me the way you care about her" I feel tears breaking from her voice. Before I can say anything she just shakes her head and says, "Don't"

I hear a shudder breath and I look over at her, she's rewrapped herself in her jacket and I can tell that she is slowly falling of anything we could have ever had. I wish I could say the same because really I never had any feelings to fall out of with her.

I then feel her eyes staring at me, I'm almost afraid to look, but I give in. she deserves that at least. She observes my eyes and say, "That bad huh?"

I just nod silently and don't say a word.

"Was anything you told me true? " the last of her lips breathing exhaust. "I mean did we ever have anything that was actually the truth?"

"There was Karen" my voice more emotionless than it was a few minutes ago. "You're a great person"

"Cut the "I'm not into you" bullshit. If I wanted subtitles I would have asked" she snaps. I deserved it, and she deserved a real answer, but honestly I couldn't give her one.

The silence cuts me hard. I hear a small sniffle. "I wanna hate you and say that you were just like the rest of the men I go out with" a slight pause makes me look up at her, who now has a small tear on her other cheek. I feel like scum underneath a shoe.

"But you weren't. you were so different and that's what makes this so much harder, but turns out even the greatest guys have a mask of disguise" and with that she stands up abruptly and walks away, wrapping her arms around her waist. I massage my temples with the softest of measure.

Before I knew it, she disappeared around the corner, the never ending leave of heartbreak still stuck to my shirt like an old stain.

I stand up slowly feeling my legs wobble beneath me, I hold the brick wall for balance. It's time to stop mourning over the past, and spend more time worrying about my future that's lying in the hospital bed.

I exhale then grab a hold of the metal door handle, briefly looking into the glass reflection. My eyes are really red now, but I can't seem to adjust their color. I open the door finally feeling the cold breeze break my sudden existence as I walk towards the pale door near the end of the hall.

And…. Thank you for reading ;) Be sure to check out my newest post, "The Jam Project" and tell me what you think. The next chapter will be Jammed up, just had to get Jim's side in there somewhere.

Hope you enjoyed!

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-Jamfan2000-