CHAPTER SIX
My name…
She got inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her; she sighed as her back touched the door sliding down the floor.
"Naruto- Kun" she whispered as her gaze searched for the window across the room. She smiled at the irony in front of her; for some reason, the night sky was clear for a winter, even the moon was full and bright. A clear, beautiful and full of brightness night, but inside her mind, everything was blurred and dark.
It had been a month since the day they talked about Sakura, love, and rejection and Naruto's behavior had changed for the better- or maybe not. She couldn't explain it, but Hinata knew that Naruto started to have feelings for her, but for some reason, he was trying to keep himself in the distance. She could see it in his eyes that her feelings were returning; she could see it in his smile every time they would meet at the training fields. It was a smile he had never given to anyone; not even to Sakura.
Those eyes and smiles he was giving to her were unique. But then why?
"Why won't he make a move?" she kept asking herself. Why every time he would give a sign of that feeling the next thing he would distance himself?
What was holding him back?
She was feeling confused about his behavior and frustrated because every moment she would spend with him; she was falling deeper into the well of love. She was feeling anxious because her love for him grew bigger and stronger, and the need of his embrace made her lose her patience. Because she knew that this man was the only one who could give her the feeling of security and warmness.
"What if I make the first step?" she asked herself as her face redden in embarrassment
But you have already done it! An inner voice reminded her about her confession, six months ago
"And yet he has not brought that up, " she said in a whisper as a bitter pain hit her heart.
"What am I going to do?" she asked in frustration
"Hinata, are you sleeping?" A voice along with a knock on the door was heard as a wakeup call from her unsolved problems. She stood up and opened the door faking a smile
"Hanabi, it is good to see you. I have just returned so I haven't got the chance to sleep yet," she said and pulled Hanabi into a strong embrace
"Hinata, are you okay?" she asked worriedly
"Of course I am fine; why wouldn't I?" she said as her embrace became firm and tears fell freely down her cheeks. Hanabi's eyes opened wide by her sister's behavior Hinata… What happened? She asked herself as she returned the hug and said
"Do you know what I missed big sister?"
"What?"
"Spending the night together; like the old times"
"How did you…"
"I just missed my sister! Ever since I became the heir to the clan, I barely stay home and when I return you are never available," she broke the embrace and looked in her watery eyes
"I am going to change and I will be back with milk and cookies, okay?" Hinata smiled and said
"Okay, thank you Hanabi"
"What are you thanking me for? I just want to eat some cookies and drink some hot chocolate" she said and winked
"I will be right back, " she said and closed the door as Hinata stood still staring at the door in front of her
"Hanabi" she whispered "I wish I could be like you, " she said as memories of her sister doing better than she could flashed into her mind. Hanabi was stronger than her; physically and mentally. She loved how she could spell out whatever her mind could think, not caring what other people would say. If I was like her, I could have been with him right now she said to herself as a bitter smile formed on her face. She turned around and looked out the window once again.
An hour later both sisters were laid down the floor looking at the bright stars and talking about Hinata's problem
"Maybe he is afraid," Hanabi said
"Of what? Me?"
"No silly! Not you!"
"What could he possibly afraid of?"
"Love" she answered and looked at her shocked eyes. Hanabi smiled and looked outside the window
"You look shocked; why is that so weird to you? Naruto got a big rejection from Sakura; do you think he would want to happen the same thing with you?" she answered at the stunned girl in front of her
"He loved a very close friend of his and got rejected. Now he spends most of his time with you and without realizing it, he fell in love with you. Imagine how much he suffered from Sakura's rejection to not tell you how he feels"
"I have never thought of that" Hinata finally manage to speak
"Of course you never thought about it! He showed you feelings of love so your mind never thought about it"
"What am I supposed to do now?"
"Make the first move, maybe?"
"What?" Hinata shouted and sat up looking at her laughing sister as Hinata's cheeks redden in embarrassment"
"There is no way I will do such a thing," she shouted and stood up walking in circles as Hanabi couldn't stop laughing
"I am not telling you to confess; although you have already done that."
"It was a different back then; I was ready to die for him that day to protect him. I…Just…can't do it again"
"You don't have to tell him again"
"Then what am I supposed to do?" she asked as she stopped walking and looked into Hanabi's eyes
"I am telling you to make it happen; take the charge and when you see an opportunity, make your move"
"I don't know how to do such things" Hanabi then stood up and got closer
"You will know when that time comes. And when it does; make it happen!" Hinata smiled and pulled her sister into her embrace "Thank you Hanabi"
"Well, that was the last of it!"
"Hold your horses young man; we still have to build the baby's bed"
"Sorry, mister Kizashi; I just go excited! But still, we make a great team; don't you agree Sakura-Chan?"Naruto asked as his gaze met with Sakura's
"Yes, you do Naruto; great job at building the baby's wardrobe," Sakura said giving them a truly warm smile
"Thanks, Sakura-Chan!"
"I decided to make some chocolate cake as a reward; what do you think?"
"That would be great!" Naruto shouted in excitement
"It has been a long time since I ate your cake Sakura, thanks!" her father said
"I am going to the market to buy the ingredients then"
"I am coming with you then; no need to carry stuff at your condition"
"Naruto I am pregnant; I am not sick! Besides my father needs your help here"
"She is right, you know; you don't want to destroy our great team, do you?"
"You have a point; alright then I will stay here"
"Alright then, I won't be long," she said and left the two men in the room building the bed for her precious daughter. Ten minutes had passed and Kizashi could see the expression of worry covering all over his face
"She is fine"
"Huh? Who?"
"Sakura," Kizashi said and smiled "You do not need to worry, she is fine"
"I am sorry, sir, I can't help it," Naruto said smiling
"She is lucky for having such a great friend; especially you"
"That's what friends are for," he said as nervousness got the best of him
"But you are not just a friend," he said and looked him straight in the eyes with a gaze full of seriousness.
"Sir, I don't know what you are-" he couldn't finish his phrase when Kizashi burst out in laughers
"Sir?" Naruto said, confused
"You should have seen the look on your face; it was so funny," he said as his laugh filled not just the room they were in but the whole apartment. Seconds later Naruto's laugh synchronized with Kizashi's.
"You are a great and a funny person, sir; I am sure Miss Haruno is a funny person too. Sakura is lucky for having such great parents"
Kizashi's smile became a straight line and said "I am lucky to have such a great daughter"
"She is the greatest! I am sure that you and Miss Haruno are proud of her"
"Yes, we are"
"Now that I am thinking about it, I haven't met Miss Haruno yet. We haven't even come across at the hallway of this court with her"
"I am sure you will get to meet her someday," he said as his gaze fell to the floor feeling ashamed of her woman she loved. How could he say that his wife refuses to accept her own grandchild? How could he say that Mebuki chose to throw their only child out of her life?
"Mister Kizashi?" Naruto took him out of his thoughts
"Huh? What is it Naruto?"
"Are you feeling alright? You spaced out for a minute or two"
"I am fine Naruto" he lied
"Sir, is something wrong with your wife?"
"What? Of course not! Mebuki is fine"
"Then why did your mood change the moment I asked about your wife?" Naruto asked. Kizashi smiled and said "You really are a great kid Naruto; caring for everyone around you is a gift that you find rare in our days"
"I was right about your wife. What has happened to her?"
"Nothing happened to her; it's just that…" he paused; he just couldn't say it
"Sir? Does Sakura knows?" his eyes winced at the mention of her name
"Sir, please tell me what has happened. Are Sakura and her mother alright? Are they both sick?" he asked as a worried look formed on his face
"What? No, no, they are both fine; it's just that…"
"Just what, sir?"
"It is nothing Naruto; they had a small fight. You know how women are"
"With all respect, sir, but the look on your face showed sadness and grief. I don't think that a small fight is the result of that look on your face"
"I am sorry Naruto but If Sakura hasn't told you yet, then I don't have the right to tell you about it"
"Mister Kizashi please, I want to know"
"Naruto, you-"
"I love your daughter, sir!"
Kizashi's eyes opened wide with his statement
"Sakura is an important person in my life; with Sakura, we share a special bond and for that reason, I have the need to protect her no matter what!" he finished as seriousness conquered his face. Kizashi smiled and said
"She truly is lucky for having you at this point of her life"
"Sir?"
"Sakura's mother does not approve Sakura's pregnancy; she does not want her to give birth to the child of-" he stopped as the pronunciation of the word was difficult
"The child of what Sir?"
"Of…A traitor," he finally spelled it out as his gaze fell down in shame
Naruto eyes opened wide by his phrase "A traitor?"
He nodded and took a deep breath and said "It all started when Sakura was feeling sick so they-"
"You don't have to tell him dad" Sakura cut him off. Both Naruto and Kizashi looked at her with curiousness
"Sakura" her father said
"I thought you went at the market"
"I forgot my wallet," she said and looked at Naruto "The moment I left the court I discover that my wallet wasn't in my purse"
"How much have you heard?" her father asked
"Everything," she said as her eyes were still locked with Naruto's
"Sakura-Chan, I didn't-"
"Dad" Sakura cut Naruto off "Can you leave us alone please?"
"No need to tell me twice cherry; I will finish the bed tomorrow," he said while gathering his tools. He placed them in a corner of the room and stood in front of his daughter
"Will you be alright?" he asked, looking into her eyes. Sakura then nodded and looked back at Naruto.
Five minutes later, both of them were in the kitchen, sitting next to the table without talking to each other.
"Why didn't you tell me anything about it?" Naruto spoke first
"Because… It wouldn't have changed anything"
"It would have!"
"How?"
"Maybe there is a way to fix it; maybe I can help you"
"You are already helping me Naruto and it is more than enough"
"Sakura"
"You are the only person that makes me forget my problems and I don't want to ruin that," she said and looked down at the table
"Sakura-Chan, look at me," he ordered and with his right hand made her look into his "Your pain is my pain," he said as Sakura's eyes winded in shock at his statement. She nodded as a lone tear ran down her cheek.
"Now tell me what exactly happened between you and your mother"
Sakura nodded and looked outside the window as memories of the day she spoke with her mother for the last time. She could still remember her mother's expression when the blood test was ready as the nurse gave her the paper; pain…Anger…disappointment
FLASHBACK
She closed the door behind her and followed her mother in the kitchen waiting for her outburst at the fault her daughter had done "Mother" Sakura said as Mebuki Haruno stood by the sink and filled a glass with water. She took a sip and sat on a chair next to a table
"Mother, I do not know what to say or do. I apologize for the mistake I did for not taking protection, but I am happy for having his baby; this baby will-"
"Who is he?" were the first words she spoke since they left the hospital
"Huh?"
"Who is the father Sakura? Is he that Uchiha brat?" she asked as the look on her face became serious. Sakura was taken aback by her choice of words, but she didn't give any attention to it. She looked at her flat abdomen and caressed it; she smiled and said
"Sasuke Uchiha is the father of the child I will bring in this world"
"No, you won't!" her mother shouted out loud as her palms hit the table
"What?" Sakura said in a whisper, not believing at her mother's words
"I won't allow you to give birth to that!" she shouted again showing with her index finger Sakura's abdomen
"Mom! Are you listening to yourself? This is your grandchild!"
"No!" she screamed, "That is not my grandchild; that is the child of a traitor!"
Sakura's eyes opened wide with her last words A traitor?
"You know nothing about Sasuke so do not speak like that about him!"
"I know very well about him; how he detested his village and followed Orochimaru or how he attacked the five Kage summit and killed Danzo"
"Danzo was a bad guy after all!"
"I also know he tried to kill you twice!" she stopped and took a deep breath "That man harmed the village and my daughter; he is a traitor. I won't allow any villager bullying our family just because you have conceived his child."
"Mom, it is not only his child; it is my child as well. This baby is your grandchild!"
"No, it is not! You are going to set the date for abor-"
"Mother, don't say it!" Sakura cut her off, not wanting to hear that word coming from her mother's lips
"I don't want you to give birth to this child Sakura. I want you to abort it!" Sakura's eyes widened at Mebuki's phrase as the feeling of pain and disappointment conquered her heart
"I can't believe what you just said," she said almost in a whisper as her look fell down on the floor. Mebuki then sat down and crossed her hands; she closed her eyes and took a deep breath
"You better believe it! Either you take the abortion or you leave this house!" she said and looked at Sakura's shocked look at the end of her phrase
"I…I can't…Believe in what you said; I refuse to accept it!" she shouted out loud as tears fell freely down her cheeks "You are not my mother; my mother loves me and she would have never talked like that. Who are you and what have you done with my mother?" she asked in desperation, knowing that whatever she would say, it will be meaningless. Mebuki then stood up and walked passing by her daughter; she stood in front of the door and placed her hand on the door handle
"Stop talking nonsense and take a decision," she said and opened the door
"There is nothing to decide!" Sakura said, stopping her mother from leaving
"I am going to keep this baby and I am going to leave this place, but I hope that one day you will come to your senses and accept your grandchild"
END OF FLASHBACK
"I am still waiting of course; I haven't lost hope yet," she said not daring to look at him as her eyes welled up at the memory of that day
"Sakura-Chan, I am sorry I-" she was cut off as Sakura stood up and reached for the kettle
"Naruto, don't feel sorry for me, please. There is nothing you can do; just be who you are and nothing more."
"What about your father?"
"What about him?"
"It seems to me that he is okay with your pregnancy and he doesn't care that the father of your child is a tr… Sasuke"
"My father understands my feelings," she said while filling the kettle with water
"And your mother does not?"
"She does, but my mother always thinks with her mind"
"I am sorry, but I don't get it Sakura. And what does your father say about your mother's reaction?"
"My father won't involve" she answered and placed the kettle on the stove
"Why?"
"Because he loves both of us," she said and smiled. Naruto took a deep breath to calm his self, but he found out that he couldn't. He was still in shock by the story he just heard. How could a mother detest her grandchild? How could a mother detest her own child? Anger and disappointment conquered his whole being. Don't mothers suppose to support their children no matter what path they will choose to take?
At least that is what I think he said to himself. He might didn't grow up with his mother by his side, but he knew one thing; his mother knew what his life would be with Kurama inside him. She knew that the village would call him a monster
Yet he believed in me he thought and smiled. Kushina believed that the day would come for him where the people of this village will see him for who he really is
Why can't Mebuki do the same for her daughter and her grandchild? He asked himself. He sighed in disappointment and looked at the woman in front of him pouring tea into the mug; he could only hope that one day, Sakura's mother will listen to her heart.
He was so pissed with his self, he couldn't think clearly as to where he was heading. How could he possibly do that? How could he say those words when he knew there was nothing to be afraid of? He stopped as he realized that he was standing by the lake. He looked down at the ground and his eyes met with a small rock; he kicked the rock in the lake, making the lake to form little circles inside another. He smiled bitterly as those circles were reminded him of the gloominess of his mind and soul.
"I have messed up everything," he whispered as memories of the previous day flashed out of his mind.
FLASHBACK
They were walking through the busy streets of Konoha when the blond haired man spoke first, "I really enjoyed ichiraku's ramen today" he said smiling. Hinata laughed, making him look at her
"Huh? What are you laughing for?" he asked curiously
"I am laughing because every time you eat at Ichiraku's you end up saying that same phrase," Hinata said giving him a genuine smile
"I guess you are right on that," he answered as both stopped walking as they have reached their destination- Hinata's home
"But you know what? I enjoy it much more when I have you as my company" Naruto said smiling at her. Hinata was shocked at his phrase as her cheeks reddened in embarrassment Maybe it is time to make my move she thought as Hanabi's words flashed in her mind. She took a step closer as her eyes met with his
"I also enjoy your company Naruto" she lifted her feet, leaning for a kiss at his lips. But that very moment he turned around and her lips met with his cheek. Hinata's eyes opened wide at the realization and everything around her was frozen.
"I am sorry," he said
"No, I am the one to apologize; I thought that your feelings… I thought you wanted t-"
"It's not that I don't want it Hinata. It's just that I am afraid"
"Afraid? Of what?"
"I am afraid of the things that had happened and those that will" Hinata then stepped back not wanting to look at him
"Oh, I am sorry; I didn't know. I was just trying to" she paused, not knowing what else to say. She looked up to him as tears were falling down her cheeks
"Thank you for the treat Naruto-kun, rumen was delicious," she bowed and ran into the house leaving a stunned Naruto outside
END OF FLASHBACK
"Dammit!" he shouted out loud, hoping that it will make him feel better. But he knew that it wouldn't. He looked up at the sky and realized that it was almost night as the stars started making their appearance.
He looked down at the ground and searched for a small rock and as soon as his eyes locked with one, he bent and picked it up. He took a deep breath and threw the little rock in the lake with every power he could gather as a result a line of mixed circles was formed reaching the other side of the lake. He looked across, and his eyes met with the sun as it was ready to set dressing the mountains beneath with its dark yellow layer. He smiled at the irony in front of him; just like the sun hid behind the mountains, letting the darkness to conquer the sky, his feelings were afraid of to reveal, filling not only his soul but Hinata's as well with sadness and unhappiness. He smiled at the reminisce many months ago when he promised to Sakura that he will move on
"Sakura-Chan, I failed you once again," he said as a bitter smile formed on his face. How could he be afraid of moving on? How could he be afraid when he could see it clearly that his feelings were returning? Why couldn't he accept the kiss and embrace that new beginning by expressing his feelings?
"Feelings huh?" he said and looked up at the night sky
"What are my feelings for her?" he asked himself as the stars had already made their appearance dancing throughout the sky and around the full moon
"So beautiful," he said, mesmerized by the beauty of the dark, night sky
"Not so dark after all," he thought as the shining stars along with the full moon lightened up the lake in front of him making it easy for him to see it in all its glory
"It's just like you Hinata" he whispered and looked up at the night sky once again "You have dark hair just like the night sky above," he smiled as his eyes locked at the moon "And your eyes…so white and full with brightness; just like the moon…So beautiful" he whispered and sighed in desperation.
Is that the reason I get mesmerized when I look into her eyes? Is that what I like about her? He asked his self as his eyes opened wide by the phrase he just said
Like? Do I like her? Is that what I feel? Do I just like her? He asked his self once again. He closed his eyes and tried to remember all the times he spent with her in training; the times where he or she would pin each other on a tree making eye contact without talking to each other and just listen to their heavy breaths "How much I wanted to kiss you then" he said smiling as he suddenly felt his heart beating like crazy almost as if it was playing a beautiful melody. His face became serious as he placed his hand on his chest, "I don't like her," he said "I think…no, I am sure that I…" he smiled as a warm sensation conquered his heart
"I am in love with her!" he shouted as he realized that his feelings were stronger than he thought. But his face became serious and got mad at his self "Why am I afraid? What am I afraid?" he asked himself as the day he asked for a life with Sakura flashed into his mind
"So you want a life with me? A life without me loving you? A life when I will be thinking of Sasuke while sleeping with you?"
He frowned from the pain that caused him the memory, "You were right after all Sakura-Chan" he said as the memory of Sakura calling Sasuke's name after the kiss he gave to her flashed into his mind. He could still remember the pain it caused him that kiss.
"Wait!" he said to his self "That's it! The reason I couldn't kiss Hinata" he said as he placed his hand on his chest "rejection" he said "I am afraid of…rejection" he said as his eyes opened wide at the realization that hit him. He was afraid that if he were to kiss her, he wouldn't listen to his own name
"My name, only my name," he said as his legs betrayed him making him kneel down. He brought his hand up to his face and realized he was crying "When did I-" he said and looked at his palm, "I didn't realize it caused me so much" he looked up at the moon
"How much of a baka am I after all?" he asked and smiled "Hinata won't hurt my feelings; she has loved me before I even liked her." he paused and took a deep breath "she is not Sakura-Chan…Hinata loves me!" he finally said and smiled at the bright moon
"Hinata…I will fix it…I promise"
A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, guys; I really want to know what do you think about this story so far. The next chapter isn't ready yet so you will have to wait for a while.