Hello! Before you come at me with your pitchforks. :) I am really sorry about not updating. I've had a lot going on. I got home from the cheer camp. It away a lot of fun. I had a lot of computer problems with this chapter. I'm sorry if its not the best. I kinda rushed it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally. I don't own Sleeping Sickness
Enjoy!
Ally
I woke up. I looked around my room, trying to remember how I got here last night. It all just flashed through my mind. I didn't even feel the tears come though. I cried the last of them out. Now, I'm just tired. Of anything, everything. Being ignored, bullied, and talked about. 'The list goes on and on', I thought sadly.
"It could be worse.", I told myself.
I need to remember that. I shuffled downstairs lifelessly. By the time I finished my breakfast, I realized I didn't bring my phone with me. I ran upstairs. It's weird, I know nobody contacts me but I guess it's the hope that I still have, peeking out. I slow down as I figure the chances of any messages waiting. I grab my phone and immediately am shocked.
37 texts from Austin 3 emails from austinmoon 5 missed calls from Austin 2 voicemails from Austin
'Did I even want to see this?'
'Yes you do'
'Who are you?'
'Your subconscious.'
I slide my thumb over, unlocking my phone. The texts filled the screen, basically saying the same thing. 'Cyberstalk much'
Ally I can explain. I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
I deleted them all in one clean swipe. I followed the same routine with the emails, voicemails, and missed calls. I gave him a chance. I began to open up cause I was desperate for human interaction. I should've never let him have a second chance the first time. Maybe then, I wouldn't feel so broken inside. I can't let him back in this time. I gave him a chance to prove who he really was. I thought he was different than his little group. I was wrong. The real test was last night. I now know.
Time skip
The afternoon had rolled by quickly. I was about to make dinner, when I heard the house phone ring. I went to get it and my fathers name scrolled across the tiny screen. I sighed, answering it.
Hello, Dawson residence.
Ally, it's your father. I was calling to tell you I'm gonna be home tonight. You better make dinner. It can't be crappy either. I want it to actually be edible when I eat it.
Ok, dad. See you soon. Love you.
Bye.
He hung up the phone. 'Really. Not even an I love you too.' I start preparing the food. As I put the food into the oven, my cellphone rang. I instantly picked it up.
Hello?
Ally! Are you okay? You weren't answering me. I'm so sorry. Just let me explain.
Austin? I didn't answer cause I didn't want to. I'm done. I gave you a chance. I'm just tired of it all. I'm irritated because I'm treated like crap, don't you understand?
I yelled into the phone before, hanging up. I feel...I don't know anymore. I wish I could go back to the past. I remember how Trish and I were friends. My mom was still alive. My family was a family. It was nice. Now it's all gone. Sometimes I wonder if a ran away and started all over if it would help. Just live my life the way I wanna live my life. Go to California and make in the music industry. That will never happen though. My dad always told me that. People think I'm gonna be fine. I'm being kicked down all the time though. I'm not gonna be alright. I'm done pretending. I finished making dinner, set the table, and put the food out. Right then, I heard my dad come through the front door.
"Hi, Ally.", he said quickly, as he rushed in and sat at the table.
He eyed the food skeptically. I watched, when he picked up the fork and took a bite of the chicken. He chewed and spit it out on his plate.
"I thought I told you to make this edible. This is repulsive. I'm going out.", he screams as he leaves the house.
I finished my dinner silently and cleaned all the dirty dishes. I hummed as I worked. After I was satisfied with the kitchen, I went to my room and grabbed my songbook and my keyboard.
I awoke, only to find my lungs empty
And through the night, so it seems I'm not breathing
And now my dreams, are nothing like they were meant to be
And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down
And I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me
Such as, living with the uncertainty
That'll never find the words to say
Which would completely explain, just how
I'm breaking down
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I'm dead but now
It's like the night is taking sides
And all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be, this misery will suffice
I've become, a simple souvenir of someone's kill
Like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill
Madness fills my heart and soul as if the
Great divide could swallow me whole, oh
How I'm breaking down
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead but now
It's like the night is taking sides
And all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be, this misery will suffice
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Someone come and, someone come and save my life
Could it be, this misery will suffice
I finished, feeling a bit better, calmer. I feel so close to breaking down. I feel like I just can't take it. I've held all my emotion in for too long. I put away my things and drift off in to a dreamland, a safe haven, a different world, or so called life.
Morning
I awake and jump in the shower. I let the hot water soothe my muscles. I get out and finish getting ready. I'm wearing a green short sleeved shirt that said 'Forever the Sickest Kids' in dark green. I matched it with black skinny jeans and grey vans. I did light makeup. When I got to the kitchen, I realized my dad never came back home, so I grabbed a quick breakfast, my backpack, my cellphone and was out the door. I arrived at school on time instead of being early.
'Keep your head down. Don't look up. No eye contact.', my brain chanted.
I was gonna listen to my brain too. I dodged feet that were stuck out to trip me on my way to my locker. I put my books in and grabbed only what I needed. Suddenly, I was slammed into the wall, my head taking a sharp hit to a lock jutting out hard enough to hurt and soft enough to not bleed. I opened my eyes to see Kira holding me to the lockers. I gulped.
"I've seen you around with Austin. You better not be trying to do something. He's mine! You'll regret it. Stay away from him! This was a warning you little boyfriend stealer.", Kira hissed, before stalking away.
'Great. I upset the biggest drama queen in school.', I thought. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the day ahead, because I just know its bound to go wrong.
"Welcome to my life.", I muttered going into my first class.
I barely payed any attention to the teacher. I just wrote in my precious songbook. I didn't notice the bell rung for break until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I closed my book and looked up at the person interrupting me. Austin. I just blankly stared at him. I didn't know what to say exactly. I stood up, taking my things, not giving Austin a chance to say a word. I know it's rude but I not only listen to my brain but I will also listen to Kira. She may be a diva but she has enough pull around the school to have my butt kicked till graduation.
"Ally!", Austin's voice called, as I stood at my locker.
I shut it, only holding my book. I step into the middle of the hallway towards him. I was ready to get him to leave me alone. He walked up to me, a smile grazing his face, only to get pulled back to the side. Kira stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Austin. In an instant, she ripped my book away from me. I watched it happen in slow motion. In one quick swipe, she shredded my book in two and dropped it. She grabbed my chin roughly.
"I thought I warned you! Stay away!", she yelled.
That's when I felt it. The last part of me broke. I'm broken. No tears were going to be spilt. Suddenly, I grabbed her hand off my chin and shoved her away from me, leaving me in the center of the hallway, all eyes on me. I didn't care anymore. People were going to hear what I had to say whether they thought I was crazy or not.
"I'm tired of yelling! I'm tired of being sad! I'm tired of pretending! I'm tired of being alone! I'm tired of being angry! I'm tired of feeling crazy! I'm tired of feeling stuck! I'm tired of needing help! I'm tired of remembering! I'm tired of missing things! I'm tired of being different! I'm tired of missing people! I'm tired of feeling worthless! I'm tired of feeling empty inside! I'm tired of not being able to just let go! I'm tired of wishing I could start all over! I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have! But most of all, I'm just tired of being tired!", I screamed, picking up the pieces of my songbook, dumping them in the garbage, and dashing out of the school.
Unknown
Little did Ally know, Austin was following her. She didn't even notice when ex-best friend grabbed the remainders of her songbook out of the trash.
How was it? Like I said, it was rushed. Would you like me to add more Povs and if so, who? I'm so sorry again for the wait and I need to add this.
Sarac72 here's your shout out. I'm not exactly sure how to do a shout out, 'properly', here now you can mark it off your bucket list. :)
please, please review! Have a happy fourth of July! Thank you to all of you that have reviewed! I'm so glad to have dedicated readers. You are great people. I'm only mentioning this because of the story. I'm not even sure if its needed but ill put it out there anyways. If anybody is struggling with depression or any other problems please get help. Everybody, thank you so much for all of the support.
Stay happy. Stay safe. ~ Abigail :)