Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not profiting from writing this story.
Chapter 6 - Take My Hand, Don't Let Go
Ringing. It was the most annoying sound, persistent and never-ending, and it was strong enough to wake James from the depths of unconsciousness. Keeping his head tucked in his arm and his eyes closed, he stuck his other arm out, assuming it was the alarm Logan set for him every morning before rehearsals. Usually cursing the device that took him away from his beauty sleep, he was grateful this time for the intrusion on his sleep. He was having a horrible nightmare about a car crash and the ringing brought him away from having to deal with those emotionally exhausting thoughts. It was by far the worst nightmare he had ever experienced.
However, instead of his hand touching the usual round object on his nightstand, his hand made contact with something cold and wet. He groaned inwardly at the thought of Carlos bringing another late night snack into their shared room and saved a mental reminder to talk to his friend about leaving food around. He continued moving his hand around, but after several failed attempts, chose to lift his head in search of the device producing the annoying sound. It was when he opened his eyes to the snow covered wooden scene that he realized his nightmare was reality.
Memories of the accident came flooding back, from the point of impact to the moment he was informed of the cars impending explosion. He and his friends were involved in a horrific accident during a bad snowstorm in the middle of God knows where. He had a serious leg injury, Kendall was downplaying his shoulder which looked pretty bad to him, Logan almost died and Carlos -
Carlos! James thought, as another memory came to mind where James found himself giving up and waiting for death to come. The end never came, instead Carlos did. Carlos saved his life by freeing his leg. He had been ready to quit, resigned to just knowing that his friends had survived and he had been unlucky. But then, Carlos had appeared just when all hope was gone and saved him from death, saved him from himself. He had just been able to escape the car mere seconds before the it exploded into large flames. There was no way he could ever repay him, no action great enough to express his sincere gratitude to his friend for saving him from a fiery death. But he was pretty sure a monthly supply of Fruit Smackers and all you can eat corn dogs would be a great way to start.
Slowly, careful not to aggravate his injured leg or any other injuries he might have sustained from the blast, he rose from his snow covered resting place. From his new position, he could see the damaged car. Or what he guessed used to be the car. All that remained was the metal frame. He stared at the large flames that slowly engulfed the unsuspecting vehicle, still reeling from the fact that he could have still been in that car.
"Ah man, Carlos," James said, as he turned his head to address his hero. "It looks like you got me out of there just in ti-"
The words died on his lips as his eyes made contact with Carlos, the scene before him making his heart stop. Kendall sat a few feet away, tears flowing down his face, ignored and cradling an unconscious Carlos in his arms. He just stared straight ahead, as if in a trance and rocked Carlos's body back and forth. Logan knelt beside them, tending to Carlos while also trying to calm Kendall. While it was heart breaking to see his friends like that, it was the sight of Carlos's still body that caused his heart to drop into the pit of his stomach.
Carlos laid in Kendall's arms, his skin as pale as the snow beside him. The gash on his forehead that had stopped bleeding a long time ago, reopened. It was much larger this time and bleeding profusely. Logan applied pressure to the cut, the cloth turning a deep crimson color and an alarming speed.
"Oh... No, no, no! No, Carlos," James screamed, all thoughts at moving slowly and carefully forgotten. He crawled over, dragging his injured leg through the snow, to get closer to his fallen friend. His outburst of emotion, alerted Logan of his presence, causing him to turn and look at him with sad eyes, while Kendall continued to stay in his own world.
"It's okay, James. He's still breathing," Logan said, somberly. "He just won't wake up."
"W-w-what do you mean, 'he won't wake up'? What's wrong with him? He was fine before... Why won't he wake up?" James asked, having trouble understanding how this could have happened. It made no sense to him. Carlos had been fine. He had been walking and talking and that cut on his forehead had stopped bleeding. How did everything change so quickly? "It - it doesn't make sense. Why won't he wake up?"
"The force of the explosion caused him to hit head. It reopened the laceration on his forehead and knocked him unconscious again," Logan explained, hoping to help both James and Kendall understand what was going on with Carlos. By the look of realization that came across James's face, Logan could see that he had connected two and two together. Kendall, on the other hand, remained oblivious to everything that was going on, the only thing occupying his attention was holding Carlos in his arms. He continued to cradle Carlos's body, rocking it as he stared straight at the trees ahead. It pained Logan to see Kendall so broken, so unlike his confident and sure minded self. Kendall always had the answers and plans to any obstacle that ever came their way, and yet now, he seemed so lost.
"Kendall... He's going to wake up," Logan whispered to his stone faced friend, but he doubted he heard the words he spoke or if he chose to believe him.
Kendall was in shock. With all the mayhem and dangers he and his friends had to face, the near death experiences and the close calls, Kendall was entitled to be in shock. He was being forced to endure a situation he never imagined he would have to go through. He was always used to being in control, facing problems and coming up with solutions without hesitation and yet, now he was in a situation where no last minute idea and smart thinking plan could solve. He was not in control of this and he hated it. There was nothing he could have down to prevent the car accident. There was nothing he could have done to save his friends from injury. And there was nothing he could do to wake up Carlos.
Innocent brave Carlos, who laid motionless in his arms. At the thought, he tightened his hold around his friend. Looking down, Kendall realized that this was the reason he had wanted Carlos to remain out of harm's way. This was the moment he dreaded once Carlos said he was going to help James. While he had been so proud of his courage and bravery, Kendall was content in knowing that Carlos was at least okay if he had stayed safely away from the car. Instead, he was forced to endure the torture of waiting for Carlos to wake up. He wanted so much to believe Logan's words, knowing that medical information was more of Logan's expertise. But feeling the heaviness in Carlos's body, the stillness in his frame, and the pure lack of emotion on his pale face, Kendall couldn't help but think he was holding his friend's dead body in his arms.
James stared at Kendall, and just like Logan's, his heart hurting at seeing his friend so unlike himself. He was sure Kendall looked just like he felt. But, unlike Kendall, James believed the words Logan spoke to him. He was comforted by the sight of the rhythmic rise and fall of Carlos's chest. Everything was going to be okay as long as Carlos was breathing.
"So, he's going to be okay, right?" James asked, just needing reassurance that he was correct. The look he saw pass through Logan's face crushed that previous wave of hope he had.
"James..."
James shook his head, already fearing where the conversation was headed. He hated when they said his name like that, like he was a little child, and they were trying to find a way to tell him bad news. It reminded him of the way his parents told him about their divorce. They had started their talk with him just like that and it turned out to be one of the worst days of his life. He lost his father. He didn't want to lose his best friend. "Yes, you said, he just has to wake up. So once he wakes up, he's going to be okay, right?"
He was pleading with Logan with his eyes, begging him to say the words of reassurance he needed to hear. And yet, Logan remained stoic in his expression.
"It's not that simple, James. Carlos already suffered a concussion, a major one for all we know, and now he hit his head again. There is no telling what amount of brain damage could have resulted or if he suffered from any internal bleeding in his head. There is no way of knowing the extent of his head injury until we get him to a hospital. So, I don't know, James. I don't know if Carlos is going to be okay once he wakes up. I pray to God he is, but... I just don't know," Logan replied, sounding defeated.
James could see that it pained Logan to admit those words, to let both Kendall and James know that he was in the dark about what was going to happen to Carlos. But he respected him for the words he spoke, and quietly nodded his head in acceptance of the response. His eyes turned to Kendall, who remained silent through the whole exchange, sat holding Carlos, the only change was a single tear that trailed down his cheek. James felt the annoying tickle of tears behind his eyes, as he took in the sight, but he shook his head to keep the tears from falling. He had to be strong for Carlos when he woke up.
"He's going to be okay. I know it. Carlos is strong. He's going to be just fine," James said, hoping to convince the others but himself too. Logan nodded his head, with a ghost of a smile that didn't quite reach his sad eyes.
Logan released the pressure he placed on Carlos's head and was relieved to see the bleeding had stopped. However, Carlos's pale features that scared him. His face seemed to have been drained of all color, making it strikingly similar to the white snow he laid in, evidence of serious blood loss. It was times like this that Logan cursed his genius and his medical knowledge, when he wished he could be in optimistic oblivion like Kendall and James about the severity of Carlos's injuries. And yet, it pained him to know the information he did, to fear that Carlos's injuries had worsened from minor to critical. But, there was little left for him to do for Carlos instead of waiting, so he turned his concerns to James. While he was glad to see James look more like himself than when he was in the car, he was still worried about the way that he favored his injured leg.
"It's pretty much a waiting game now, guys," Logan said. "So, I should check you guys out and take a look at your injuries."
Both of his friends remained unresponsive, their attention remaining on Carlos, and Logan did not take their lack of attention personally. "I'm going to go get the first aid kit I threw out the car and I'm going to take a look at your leg, James."
James made an incomprehensible sound of acknowledgment vaguely aware of Logan's departure, the sound of snow crunching under his feet the only proof. His eyes remained fixed on Carlos, and in his absence, crawled closer to him to assume the place that Logan once occupied. He placed his hand in Carlos's still ones, hoping it was just his imagination at how cold Carlos's felt against his. With his closer position, Carlos looked even more small and fragile than he did before. To anyone else, it would look like Carlos was merely sleeping, but even in his sleep, Carlos scarcely remained so still. Moving from side to side every few minutes, thrashing around and throwing his body all over the place, Carlos slept in the most erratic positions. Seeing him so motionless pained James, who was so used to seeing his friend so full of life.
"You're going to be okay, Carlitos. You just have to open your eyes and just let us know that everything is alright up there. We just need to know that you're alright, Carlos. Come on, buddy. Wake up for us," James urged, as he gently stroked Carlos's forehead. He patiently waited for any sign of movement, any improvement in his condition. But, Carlos remained the same, his body unchanged.
"You saved my life, you know that? If you hadn't come back for me, if you had listened to me when I pushed you away, I wouldn't be here right now," James continued, not caring if his words were heard or not. It was something he needed to tell Carlos, information that he needed to know. "I was ready to give up, resigned to just welcome death and happy just knowing that you guys were safe. The smoke was so overwhelming and thick, making it so hard to breathe, to even see. And the heat of the flames were slowly trying to overtake me. It was horrible, I thought I was a goner. But then you came back for me. You wouldn't leave my side. You were so brave and your determined to get my leg free and you did. You got me out of that car and you saved my life. You were there when all my hope was gone, and you showed me that everything was going to be okay. I need you to do that again, Carlos. I need you to show me that everything is going to be alright by waking up for me. Please, just let me know that you're okay."
The tears he had tried to keep at bay for so long, slowly cascaded down his cheeks and he made no attempt at hiding them. He had left his heart out there, revealing his true feelings when Carlos rescued him, hoping it would be enough to pull Carlos awake, and his heart broke at the fact that he remained unchanged. Kneeling his head low so that it rested near Carlos's ear, he whispered, "Please, Carlos. Come back to us. Come back to me."
He felt a light pressure in his hand, the hand that held Carlos's hand. It was so soft, the movement so small it would have been missed if observed by the untrained eye. He sat up with a start, at the touch, startling Kendall with his abrupt change in position.
"James, what's wrong?"
"C-C-Carlos, he- he squeezed my hand!" James shouted to Kendall, before turning his attention back to his unconscious friend. "Carlos, buddy. Come on. Wake up."
Kendall joined in as well, gently tapping Carlos's face to wake him up. They were so focused on what they were doing, they didn't hear Logan return, the first aid kit in one hand and four blankets in the other.
"So I brought some of the blankets from the luggage we salvaged. The last thing we need is to get hypother-"
"Carlos is waking up!" Kendall yelled, cutting off whatever Logan was about to say and within seconds, Logan was beside Carlos, blankets and kits forgotten on snow covered ground. He stared wide-eyed at the scene, watching as Carlos struggled to open his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Carlos stared straight ahead, taking in the environment, before they settled on three fearful faces. Before they even had a chance to question how Carlos was feeling, Carlos face lit up with a smile, his voice full of energy.
"That was awesome!" Carlos shouted.
"What?"
"Did you see it? The way we jumped out the car, and flew out the car at the same time the car exploded! That was great! Just like in the movies!" Carlos exclaimed. "We have to find a way to do that again!"
"Seriously, Carlos?! You gave us a heart attack! God, we thought you were - we thought we lost you," Logan said, releasing a deep sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to scare you. But, I'm fine. You see," Carlos replied, as he attempted to raise his body up from Kendall's grasp. He stopped however, before he was even able to sit up, as his vision doubled and an intense wave of nausea threatened to overcome him. The change in his behavior did not go unnoticed by his friends as the previous light hearted atmosphere evaporated.
"Carlos!"
"Whoa," Carlos whispered, "I guess I have to move a little slower." He closed his eyes, hoping to stop the spinning.
"Now, tell us how you're really feeling?" James asked, not believing it was caused by moving too fast.
"James, honestly, I'm fi-"
"Carlos, please. This is serious. You hit you're head again. We have to know how bad it is," Logan cut in, fearful of the answers he was about to hear.
Seeing his friends staring back at him with those same fearful eyes, he didn't have the heart to downplay the pain in his head anymore. "I have a really bad headache. It hurts so bad that it's painful for me to even move my head without seeing double or having the place spinning."
"Do you feel nauseous?"
Carlos chose to remain silent than answer the question, which provided Logan with the answer that he feared. Going down the list of symptoms of a severe concussion, he tried to assess the severity of Carlos's head injury. He grabbed the discarded first aid kit, and pulled out the pen light. Pointing it in Carlos's eyes, he was glad to see the pupil's looked even and equal and Carlos didn't show any sensitivity to the bright light pointed in his eye. "You remember what happened, right? You remember how you hit your head?"
The question confused Carlos. Of course, he remembered what happened. There was - He had hit his head on... The memory was fuzzy, hard to retrieve. He could almost see it, but he couldn't quite reach it. He looked to Logan in confusion.
"It's okay, Carlos. Don't worry about it. Just promise you will tell me if that pain in your head gets worse, if you start vomiting, or if it becomes difficult for you to see straight," Logan said, as he reached into the kit and grabbed some gauze and tape to wrap the cut his forehead.
"Honestly, Logan, it's not that serious. I feel fine. Just a little fuzziness. There's nothing -"
"Yes, there is, Carlos. Please, we don't want to lose you," Kendall answered, addressing Carlos directly for the first time since he woke up. "So, let us worry about you, okay? We don't mind worrying if its going to make sure you're okay."
Maybe it was the way Kendall had said the words or the sadness he saw in his eyes, but Carlos knew better than to go against Kendall.
"Ok, I promise."
"Great," Logan replied, as he finished dressing the cut. He turned his attention to James. "Alright, James. It's your turn." The look of fear on James's face was comical.
"You sure, it's my turn? I think Kendall might have been next. Yea, you know what? When you were gone, I think Kendall was like, 'Oh, I can't wait for Logan to look at my shoulder.' He was very excited about it. I wouldn't want to disappoint him," James said, hurriedly trying to delay the pain he knew would come with Logan tending to his leg.
"Nice try, James. But, your leg is more important than a little cut on my shoulder," Kendall replied, as he helped Carlos to a seated position.
"I'll be the judge of that," Logan said, making sure Kendall knew he wasn't going to escape his examination. "But, come on, James, I'll be really gentle, or as gentle as I can be with your leg. I have to clean it and dress it."
Begrudgingly, James ended his protest and dragged his body to the nearby tree that Carlos rested against.
"It's going to be okay, James," Carlos whispered as James got closer. James tried not to notice how eerily similar Carlos words were to his earlier speech. He had to admit that it was comforting to have Carlos by his side; he fed off the confidence, as he prepared for the process.
"Alright, I'm ready," James choked out, even though his voice betrayed the bravado he had hoped to show. "I can do this. I can do this." He repeated those words in his head, allowing them to strengthen his resolve against the impending pain. In a way, a new sense of determination fueled him with a fire that he was confident the pain couldn't even extinguish. Eyes closed, he felt the confidence increase in him, almost electrifying and he was certain that he would succeed. Nothing could stop him. Not pain. Not fear. Not even -
He stopped mid-sentence once he heard the snap of the latex glove around Logan's hand.
"You know what? I changed my mind. My leg is looking better already. You don't have to look at it. It's fine. So maybe you -"
"James, you can do this," Carlos repeated. "You want to hold my hand through it all?"
The smile appeared on his lips before he knew it. He stared at Carlos's outstretched hand, accepting it and hoping to receive some courage from it. "That would be great." Without realizing, Kendall appeared on the other side of him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing it softly. The message his friends were telling him was clear, he was not alone and he wasn't going to have endure the pain alone. It was what he needed to lose the anxiety and brave the task at hand straight on. "Alright, I'm ready now. For real this time."
"I will try my hardest to be as gentle as I can be, buddy," Logan replied, as he finished getting all his needed supplies readily available for his dressing change. He doubted James had heard a word he said, his eyes tightly squeezed as he waited for Logan to begin. Taking that as his invitation to start, Logan grabbed a hold of the remaining jean fabric hiding the leg wound and began to cut through the material to get a better look at the cut.
"Ahh, man! These were my favorite pair of jeans," James whined.
"I promise, man, I'll buy you a new one," Logan said back, as he finished cutting away the heavy material, finally able to get a good look at the bleeding wound. He didn't have a chance to hear James's response to his comment, his attention solely taken hold by what he saw under the exposed skin.
James had a long vertical gash starting from right below his knee to the middle of shin. It still continued to ooze blood, but it didn't pulsate, which would have indicated that an artery was injured or severed. It provided little comfort; he would have much rather it had stopped bleeding all together. While the cut did not seem deep, the appearance of red tissue around the wound edges alarmed Logan. He had known that the wound was serious, as evidenced by the uncontrollable bleeding, but he had not been prepared for the sight. He didn't have a chance to keep the look of shock from his face, and one glance at Kendall, he realized the he too knew that this was not just any cut.
To make matters worse, lower down on James's leg was bright red and inflamed, his ankle nearly double in size and foot black and blue from bruising. The injury was probably caused by the immense pressure the crushed dashboard applied on his leg. It was a miracle that James was able to move the leg at all, with all the damage that it had endured.
"How bad is it?" James asked, keeping his eyes closed and not daring to look at his maimed leg.
"Uhh, don't worry, James. I got this under control."
"You're a horrible liar, Logan."
Choosing to ignore that comment and using James's words to fuel him, Logan erased the sense of doubt that was threatening to slowly overcome him. He had to make sure he treated the wound properly. The last thing he needed was to mess up and cause the cut to become infected. He examined the wound thoroughly, ensuring that there was no glass embedded in the skin. He saw a few reachable pieces near the surface of the cut, and was able to pull them out with the sterile tweezers, without causing James much pain; he merely hissed in discomfort. The action however caused the bleeding to increase slightly, making it necessary for Logan to stop the bleeding before he could continue to clean it. Something he knew would cause James a great deal of pain.
"Ok, James, buddy. I'm going to have to apply some pressure on your leg to stop the bleeding," Logan said, regretfully, hating himself for the words he said and the action he was about to do. James nodded his head in affirmation, his eyes betraying the confidence he hoped to exude.
There was no amount of preparation Logan could do that would have been enough to lessen the wave of agony that would affect James. Therefore, without hesitation, he grabbed the gauze and placed direct pressure on the cut, pressing heavily onto the bleeding area. He wished he had the ability to close his ears as the action caused James to produce the most gut wrenching cry of pain.
James understood that the pain was necessary; Logan needed to press on his leg to stop the bleeding. All that made sense. What he couldn't comprehend was how pain could hurt so much. He had tried to be silent, he didn't want to be a baby and cry out in pain, However, he hadn't expected it to feel like this. The action resulted in such an immense sense of pain that it felt like his leg had exploded in fiery heat, like it had been ripped from his body. He wished it had been if it would keep him from enduring this horrible amount of pain. A prolonged hiss escaped his mouth and his breath came in short, harsh puffs of air. He waited for the pain to escalate to the point where it was simply numb. He groaned in agony as the time passed and the pain still remained; he could feel the darkness of unconsciousness once again taking hold of him.
"Ok, buddy. All over. The bleeding stopped. You did great," Logan reassured, as he lifted the blood soaked gauze and quickly discarded it, unable to take the sight of James's blood. A thin film of sweat had formed on James's forehead, and his face had paled considerably since the beginning of the task, but he remained strong and even graced Logan with a smile.
"I'll take my prize now," James joked, weakly.
"Almost done," Logan said. "Alright, I just have to soak the cut with some sterile water for a while and then cover it with -"
"Loges, a little less talking and a little more doing."
Logan took that as his cue, and he grabbed the bottle of the water and poured a generous amount of the fluid onto the cut as he gently dabbed the area with a new piece of gauze. He was thankful that this part of the procedure didn't cause James to be in any pain. He continued for a few more minutes until he was able to see the wound clearly. He then completed the task by dressing the wound with sterile gauze. He had to apply a generous amount of pressure, but not enough to produce any loud cries from James. He was able to endure the dressing with only low moans. Finally, we wrapped the swollen ankle with an ace wrap, hoping to minimize the swelling with the tight wrap. After that, Logan stared at his handiwork proudly.
"All done."
"Oh, thank God!" James exclaimed, releasing a deep breath.
"Yes! Great job, James!" Carlos exclaimed, giving James's shoulders a comforting squeeze. A glance at an expecting Logan, he continued, "And you too, Logan!"
"You did awesome, guys."
"I'm glad you approved, Kendall, because it's your turn," Logan said, discarding the soiled gloves and putting on a new clean pair to deal with Kendall.
"Yea, yea, yea. Let's get this over with so I can show you that my shoulder isn't as serious as you think it is," Kendall said, grumpily as he left James's side to get closer to Logan. By the look on Logan's face, he could tell that he didn't believe him.
"So, let's see it. You can feel me touch here, right? And is there any numbness or tingling?" Logan asked, as he began his examination. After receiving all the necessary answers, he continued. "Can you wiggle your fingers for me?"
Kendall had begrudgingly performed everything that Logan had asked of him, and answered every question honestly. However, this was the one task that Kendall doubted he'd be able to perform. He looked at Logan and then at his injured arm, willing the fingers to move as commanded. With a little more effort than normal, Kendall was able to wiggle his fingers. It was task that he was elated to see that he could perform, but the elation turned to concern when he noticed the frown on Logan's face.
"That was a little more difficult than usual huh?" Logan remarked. Kendall remained silent, unwilling to give Logan the pleasure of being right. Whether he was insulted by the lack of response, he didn't show, choosing to continue his examination rather than causing a fight. "Alright, let me actually take a look at this shoulder."
Kendall reluctantly pulled down the sleeve of his coat, the action causing his aching and sore muscles to pull. He had so far been able to endure the examination without any pain, but pulling his arm out from the protective position it was in, the pain that had been dull before returned with a vengeance. He was glad he was able to mask the immense pain he felt, only allowing a low groan escape his lips. The action allowed the cool air to assault his uncovered back. Kendall inadvertently shivered from the cool breeze, alerting Logan to his exposed state. Quickly, Logan grabbed one of the discarded blankets and wrapped around it around Kendall's shoulders. Protected a little bit more from the elements, Kendall continued until his shoulder was revealed to Logan.
"Crap, Kendall," Logan whispered under his breath, taken aback by the sight before him. Kendall's shoulder was bleeding, not as bad as James's leg was, but enough to coat his whole right arm red. However, it wasn't the blood that alarmed him, as he could see it came from cuts caused by glass. It was the weird angle that his shoulder was in, the awkward position the bone jutted out through the skin at the joint in the most unnatural ways. He noted there was no swelling around the shoulder, which was a good sign, evidence that at least the shoulder wasn't broken.
"It's not that bad, Logan," Kendall remarked, still positive that he could have been fine without all this fussing.
"Yea, that's why I'm the doctor and you're not."
"Ha, you're not a doctor, yet."
"A mere technicality. Now, shush, so I can patch you up," Logan replied, as he continued examining Kendall's arm. He placed his hands along the side of Kendall's upper arm, settling it at the top aspect of his shoulder and not surprised to feel a space under the skin where the two bones usually met. "Alright, I got good news and I got bad news, buddy."
"Give me the bad news first."
"Well, your humorous is broken, right near the upper aspect of the triceps. I'm pretty sure it's a closed fracture; there's no break in the skin from the bone to make me believe that its an open fracture. But there is still the possibility of broken bone fragments exposed. We won't be able to detail the extent of the damage without an x-ray."
"Well, if that's the bad news, I can't wait to hear the good news."
"Your shoulder is just merely displaced from it's socket," Logan answered with a smile, as if he said the best news in the world. "It looks like it's separated from your collarbone."
"And that's good news because..."
"Because its much better than a dislocation, which could have caused permanent nerve damage and the loss of adequate function in your arm. Now, I'm going to have to stabilize the bone with a splint, wrap it tight to contain the swelling, and maybe make a sling to keep you from putting any strain on the arm."
"Ahh, Logan, all of that? It's really not that ser-"
"Kendall, did you hear anything I said? If that shoulder gets any worse, you risk losing total mobility in you arm. So, let me help you, alright. I'm not going to let you lose your arm. Not because of me, not because of what I -"
He stopped himself from saying the words that still occupied his thoughts, from admitting the guilt that still threatened to consume him. He looked toward Kendall, hoping that he understood that he had to make everything right from all the wrong that he caused.
"Ok, ok. Just please, stop blaming yourself. I don't know how many times I have to tell you - this was not your fault," Kendall said, giving in. He hated the look he saw in Logan's eyes. He could see he was still beating himself up for the accident.
Logan merely nodded his head, just to prove to Kendall that he heard the words he said, not that he agreed with what he said. He pushed his feelings of guilt aside as he began to clean the cuts that covered Kendall's arms. He then went to stabilizing the bone, placing two long sticks around his upper arm, tying them tightly together with a string and then wrapping them securely together with a large ace wrap. Dealing with the separated shoulder proved difficult however; he didn't know what the correct course of action would be with treating the displaced collarbone.
"This is going to hurt," Logan said, as he realized he would have to wrap the upper aspect of the shoulder, to stabilize the collarbone as well.
"Can't you just pop it back in place?" Kendall asked.
"It's not that simple, buddy. I might cause more damage than good. We have to wait for the x-ray before anyone tries to manipulate that bone," Logan reassured. "Now, just breathe through the pain."
Kendall closed his eyes awaiting for the unpleasant sensation he was sure he would feel once Logan began to wrap the shoulder. He didn't have to wait long; as the fabric was wrapped around tightly against the sensitive and fragile area, an explosion of pain erupted down his entire arm. "Ahhh!" He cried, unable to keep his expression of pain at bay.
"Almost there, buddy. Almost done," Logan whispered, comfortingly, as he quickened his speed in finishing his treatment of Kendall's shoulder. Finally, after what seemed like forever to have hear his best friend scream in pain, he applied the last bit of tape to secure his firm dressing. He ripped a long piece of fabric from one of the discarded blankets and forming a right angle with Kendall's arm, used the fabric to make sling, tying it tightly around his neck. "You're good to go, Kendall."
"Where's my lollipop?" Kendall smirked, still reeling from his emotional display.
Logan only scoffed as he gathered a huge pile of a snow and gathered it into an available zip lock bag. "Well, this might not be a lollipop, but it will definitely help you feel better." He placed the bag of ice onto Kendall's shoulder, and laughed as Kendall's face went from pure shock to relief as the ice did its magic and eased the ache of the pain.
"Ooohh, you're right, that feels awesome," Kendall murmured, his eyes closing in instant gratification.
"Yea, so I'm going to leave you two alone for while," Logan joked.
"Yea, you do that," Kendall replied, oblivious to Logan's implication.
Moving closer to where James and Carlos continued their conversation about what they would do once they got back to the Palm Woods - Carlos still adamant on asking the curly haired Jennifer on a date, Logan gathered another pile of snow into a zip lock bag.
"How's your leg feeling now, James?"
"It's feeling much better. And look, I can even wiggle my toes," James said proudly, his toes moving just as he announced.
"That's great! Alright, so I'm going to give you one of these also to help bring down the swelling in your ankle."
"Ahhh, Logan, that's - that's... Oooo, that feels nice," James replied, as the initial shock of the ice on his ankle vanished to a comforting sensation.
"Isn't it?!" Kendall said, as he moved closer to his friends.
"Guys, it's just ice," Logan replied, having trouble understanding what the big deal was.
"Heck, if this is wrong, I don't want to be right,"
"Oh no!" Kendall exclaimed as he watched his ice pack slide off his shoulder. He quickly grabbed it off the floor, and placed it back where it belonged, his eyes closing in happiness at the cool sensation. "Reunited and it feels sooo good!"
Logan could only shake his head in amazement as he muttered, "I need new friends."
"No, you don't, Logie! You love us!" Carlos retorted, giving him one of those puppy dog faces that could rival Katie's.
"Yea, yea, yea. Well, I'm going to go gather all the things we managed to salvage from the car, see what things are important while we figure out what to do next," Logan responded, as he put all the unused items back into the first aid kit.
"He's right. We need to figure what to do now that staying in the car is clearly not an option," Kendall replied, Logan's words bringing him out of his reverie to the more pressing matter of how to survive in the middle of nowhere during a snowstorm with no shelter and minimal resources. He groaned as he wished he could go back to when the ice was the highlight of his night, the idea of figuring out a plan to save his friends from further danger was daunting. But looking at his four best friends hopeful eyes, he was ready to take on the task. "Don't worry, I'll think of a plan."
"I knew you would. So, while your brain is working, I'll just go and -"
He didn't get to finish his sentence as a harsh body racking cough assaulted him. It caught him off guard and came without warning. He didn't even feel the normal tickle in the back of his throat. The only thing he knew was the harsh cough that total incapacitated him
"Whoa, you alright, Loges?" James asked, his concern shifting from their survival to his coughing friend.
"That cough doesn't sound good at all. I hope you're not catching a cold or something from the snow," Kendall agreed.
"I'm okay," Logan managed to choke out between coughs. While they decreased in intensity, they continued, one after the other, which didn't do much to ease his aching ribs. "Just a little cough. It's nothing."
"You sure? Heck, you did such a good job on us, maybe one of us should check you out, too."
"Yea, Come on, Logan. Dr. Carlos's office is open."
"Guys, I'm fine! You see, it's getting better already," Logan said, trying hard to suppress the cough that threatened to escape. He could tell his friends were suspicious about his refusal for aid, but he didn't have time to convince them further, the cough he was keeping at bay was reaching a fever pitch. "Look, we don't have much time to waste. It's going to dark soon. So, Carlos rest, James stay off that leg, and Kendall use your brain to come up with plan. I'm going to get things ready."
He heard the words of protest as he turned but he continued to move on the other side of the car, successfully hiding himself from his friends. When he was sure he could not be seen, especially from Kendall, whom he was sure was straining to see Logan, he released the cough he had been able to contain, using his hand to suppress the harsh sounds. It started from deep in throat, causing his chest to rise and fall harshly from the force. The pain in the right of the chest became unbearable at that point, the burning crashing through him like waves. But he didn't have the chance to concentrate on the pain, the cough was the only thing consuming his thoughts, as he desperately tried to stop their attack on his body. Before he knew it, he coughed so harshly, he doubled over from the force.
Thankfully, the sensation decreased. While the pain in his chest remained, his sore ribs obviously aggravated, the coughing fit stopped. His breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed. Logan was grateful for the break. He was so relieved, he didn't notice the metallic taste that overcame his taste buds. It wasn't until he saw his blood coated hand, the same hand he used to stifle the sounds of his cough, did he realize that he had coughed up the bright red fluid. He stared at his hand blankly, only muttering a few words to himself.
"Shit. This is bad."
Author's Note: I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day and are still in the loving spirit! Reviews = love!