~ Indention of the Heart ~
Chapter 6
ThatPanicGirlE

A/N: Ahh, know what's worst than angst ridden teens? Angst ridden adults.


BellaPOV

The pain struck me out of the blue. One moment I'm in the shower completely ecstatic about the kiss from Jasper and then the next moment I'm drowning in my despair over Edward. I started thinking of how Edward treated me at the dinner table tonight. It was almost as if I didn't exist to him anymore.

I sank down in the shower as the water poured over top of me. My tears mixed with the drops of water that fell from overhead and I began to sob uncontrollably. I didn't care if Charlie could hear be below. I need to cry and it felt so good as my body shook with all the anguish from Edward's attitude.

How dare he treat me like this?

I pounded my fist on the tile walls around me and I soon realized how silly this was to inflict physical pain on myself. I eventually calmed myself down enough to stand up and finish with my shower. I wrapped the towel around me as I stared again into the fogged up mirror of my now shared bathroom with my father and wondered where it all went wrong.

If Jasper had a crush on me in high school why didn't he say anything? They say pictures speak a thousand words and the one on my night stand of him staring directly at me spoke truths never told. I had a feeling there was more to the story and I wanted to ask him but I was scared to death it meant I wanted something more out of him.

Did I want something more with him?

I quickly towel dried my hair and got dressed for bed. School was coming entirely too soon for me and I was nervous as hell about starting over again, not just in another school as a teacher, but life in general. It never fails though. The night you need the most sleep is the one you can never fall asleep for.

After copious amounts of tossing and turning, I eventually drifted off to sleep.

The first day went by okay. The worst was lunch time when it felt like day one of Forks High School, Bella years, all over again. I carried my tray nervously through the cafeteria looking for the spot reserved for teachers only. I found a kind welcome smile from my old Biology teacher, Mr. Banner. I sat down next to him and smiled.

"It's so hard to believe that I'm sitting next to Bella Swan, now as a teacher. I still remember having you in my Biology class. You and Edward were great lab partners," Mr. Banner said to me before taking a bite of his food.

"I know it is hard to believe," I kindly said back.

I blushed and wanted to dart out of the room in tears of the mere mention of Edward again. Even though I have been out of high school for so many years, the memories of us together were everywhere I looked.

I could look across the cafeteria at the tables and pick out our spot. As I walked down the halls of the school I could tell you where he first held my hand, met me at my locker each day and worked with me in the library over Shakespeare.

Indeed, Forks High School had my failed relationship's history within ever inch of its walls and I began to doubt my ability to keep it together. I barely spoke another word to Mr. Banner the rest of lunch and he didn't push conversation either. I was always quiet in his class and I thought he may have remembered that.

After my first disastrous lunch was finally in the clear, I went back to my class room and prepared for my next class, which luckily for me didn't happen for another class period. I began diligently working on my lesson plans during my short break from pubescent teenagers.

"Ms. Swan, are you in your classroom," I heard a loud voice boom over the speaker.

"Yes, I am," I said back into the air.

"Can you come down to the office for a moment?"

"Sure," I yelled back.

I stood frustrated that my lesson plans were being interrupted. It was my planning period and this was the only time of day I could actually get work done. There had better be a good excuse for me being called away.

Ms. Cope, the school secretary was all smiles when I walked into the door of the front office. She was also all giggles and I worried secretly that this could be some sort of prank.

"Bella, you didn't tell me you'd already met someone," she said as she handed me a giant vase filled with the most beautiful bouquet of yellow daisies and daffodils I'd ever seen.

"I haven't met anyone special enough to send me flowers like this," I said as I gaped over the arrangement.

"Well apparently someone thought you were special enough to send them," she teased back.

I thanked Ms. Cope and headed back to my classroom, blushing each time another student or teacher made a comment about the huge vase of flowers I carried down to my room. After safely making it back with the glass vase and floral concoction, I finally read the card.

To Bella,
To new beginnings and hopefully more glasses of lemonade.
Jasper

I had a smile stretched so far across my face from that note. I was in a better mood for the rest of the day. As soon as I got into my car, I immediately text messaged Jasper and told him thank you for the flowers.

I didn't get a response right away and I knew he was busy working on a project. I got home, did a load of laundry, cooked Dad and I some dinner and around eight that night, I got a message from him.

Glad you liked them. They reminded me of you. Anything yellow reminds me of you now.

I laughed.

Can you talk, or call me? I text him back.

He didn't even text me. He called right away.

"Hey that was fast," I said.

"Sorry, it was easy to just hit send. How was your day?" he asked.

"Kind of shitty actually. I was doing okay until lunch time then Mr. Banner had to make a comment about Edward and I. It was really hard to walk the halls and see all the memories of him in that place. But once I got the flowers from you, things seemed to get better."

"I'm glad I could help make your day brighter. I'm sorry Mr. Banner brought all that up. It must be hard being there."

"You have no idea. It's almost like I can still see him every single time I walk the halls. It gets really frustrating when people ask where he is or how we're doing."

Jasper got quiet for a second. Then said, "You know, I guess I'm lucky in that aspect. Most of the people who knew of Charlotte are all Georgia. I don't get hassled around here."

"I guess," I said. I wanted so bad to ask him about the possible crush but before I could get the question out of my mouth, my phone beeped.

"Hey Jasper, I need to let you go," I held the phone up to see that my attorney was calling. Mike was very good about never keeping actual work hours.

"Okay, sure. Can I call you later?" he asked.

"Yeah sure, call me tomorrow, I need to take this call," I said in a hurry.

I barely heard him say goodbye before I clicked over.

"Bella, hey it's Mike. Listen, I got a phone call from Edward's attorney today. Apparently the two of you had some land together and he wanted to know what you wanted to do to settle this?"

Land?

Oh hell. That stupid land we bought together to build a house that would never be.

"I had forgotten about that Mike. Tell Edward's attorney I'll turn the land over to him. I don't want it."

"Well, according Edward's attorney, he doesn't want it either."

"Can't we just sell the land and split the money?" I asked.

"Sure you can, but it could be tied up for a while. I may have to get the two of you, along with his lawyer into my office tomorrow afternoon if that's ok to sign a mutual agreement for the selling of the land."

Will this nightmare ever end?

"Sure Mike, I can be there after school."

I hung up with Mike and all but threw my phone across the room. My head fell into my hands and I began to sob again. I wanted everything to just go away. I wanted Edward to disappear out of my life and quit causing so much turmoil but I began to sense he wasn't about to let me go so easily.

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The morning showed up entirely too early again. I spent the entire night in a panic over meeting with Edward and his attorney that afternoon. Teaching offered a welcomed distraction from the pain I would eventually feel that afternoon.

During my planning period as I stared across the classroom, the onset of fear swept over me and I almost asked another teacher to cover my classroom the rest of the afternoon. I pulled out my cell phone and sent Jasper a text message to see if he could talk. True to Jasper fashion, he called me back right away.

"Hey sweet lady, is everything ok?" he asked when I answered.

I began to cry again. "No, it's not. I'm so sorry to call you and bug you like this but I didn't know who else would understand."

"What's going on? Do you need me to come up there?"

"No, it's just… Mike called me last night to let me know that a piece of land Edward and I bought needed to be settled. I have to meet with him and his attorney this afternoon. I'm just so tired of all this. I feel like he's playing one giant game and I'm done with it all."

I cried harder. Everything was turning to shit again.

"Bells, I'll be there in a few minutes."

He hung up before I could tell him no. I walked to the sink in the classroom and grabbed some tissue and wiped the tears off my face and stared out the window at the rainy day. I had no idea how much time passed as I tried desperately to clear my head.

"You look beautiful today," a voice said from the doorway.

Jasper was leaning on the doorway in a pair of jeans, work boots and a tight white T-shirt. He wore an unbuttoned blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His golden locks were pulled behind his ears and his green eyes were piercing. He had a little bit of stubble on his face. I'm sure my jaw dropped at the mere sight of him.

"T-thanks," was all I could muster out.

He walked towards me and I noticed he was wearing a visitor's pass. I'm sure Ms. Cope was going to have a field day with me this afternoon when I retrieved my things from the office.

"Are you ok now?" he said once he got close. I could smell pine on him. It blended with his natural woodsy smell and nearly stopped my heart. He stared deep into my eyes and my body began to tingle. The electricity bounced off of me and I'm sure he could feel it too. The attraction was becoming too evident and I had no idea how to control it. I wanted him to take me right there in the classroom. I could deal with the consequences later.

"I am, now that you are here."

He smiled crookedly at me and I'm sure I quit breathing again.

"I'm glad I could be of service, again, ma'am." I was expecting him to bow or tip a hat but he did neither.

I was utterly speechless. I had seen Jasper a lot since moving back to Forks, but for some reason, he seemed different today.

"Are you going to say anything?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," I said.

He laughed, "Bella, I have a feeling you are crushing on me." He then blushed, dropped his head and smiled.

"I-I think I am," I blurted out.

Smooth, Bella, real smooth.

He snapped his head up and brought his hand to my face. His fingers traced the edge of my jaw and softly palmed my cheek into his hand.

"I think you are too," I said.

"I wonder what gave that away," he said as he stepped closer to me. He brought his other hand to my face and brought his closer to mine. His nose nuzzled the tip of mine as I closed my eyes.

His lips softly touched mine and my hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. The kiss was soft, meaningful. It wasn't rushed or pushed. He was taking his time, showing me the softer side of him and I was melting in his arms.

He pulled away and I didn't want to open my eyes. I was so scared that he would disappear as quickly as he showed but he was still there when I got the courage to open them.

"I hope that this helps a little bit. You are a very brave and strong woman, Bella. You made the right decision to make yourself happier, and I'm not just saying this because you allowed me to be here for you. You can do this and I believe in you. I'm always here for you, no matter what."

I nodded. "Thank you for this Jasper. You have no idea how much this means to me, how much you being here means."

He hugged me tight as the bell sounded above us. He grabbed my hand and said, "Call me when you are done with the lawyers. I'm working today at the estate with Emmett. I'm right down the road if you need me."

His hand slipped away as he walked towards the door. He looked back from the doorway and smiled. I felt myself blush again. As soon as he was out, the students began pouring in and I had to compose myself to teach. I felt so much better, full of confidence that I could indeed come face to face with Edward today.

At the end of the day, I went to my teacher's box to get papers and information for the rest of the week. Ms. Cope was smiling at me the entire time. Finally, I blurted out, "He's just a really good friend of mine."

"Sure, if you want to believe that." She turned to her desk and laughed all the way there.

The drive to Mike's office was a little gut wrenching, but as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, a sweep of confidence ran over me. He could drag this out as long as he wanted to, but I had backing and I was feeling much better knowing that my family and friends were supporting me through this. Mostly it came from knowing that Jasper was there for me.

I strolled through the office door with my head held high, and when I saw Edward and his attorney sitting in the lobby, I ignored them and went straight to the receptionist. She smiled warmly and said that Mike was expecting me and to go on back. I didn't even turn back to my now ex-husband and walked right on in to Mike's office.

"Thanks so much for coming Bella. Edward was adamant that we all meet together about this." He stood and reached for my hand and then escorted me to the large leather chair in front of his desk.

"I figured as much. He's been acting odd the past couple of weeks."

"Is everything ok?" he asked as he sat on the corner of the desk.

"On my end, I'll live. It's just odd. He keep showing up at Emmett and Rosalie's place when I'm there and I know having the same mutual friends would be difficult, I just wish I understood why he was doing this."

"Have you talked to him about any of this? You can now that your divorce is final. Nothing would be held against you."

I sighed. "No, I've just wished he would go away."

Mike laughed, "It doesn't always work that way. Maybe after today, you can settle all your differences and be done with it."

He led me straight into the conference room where a huge, long cherry wood table sat in the middle. I took a seat and patiently waited for everyone. The moment the door opened, I worked my ass off to gain composure.

Mike sat down next to me and handed me a folder. He also handed one to Edward's attorney who opened it up so the both of them could go over the paperwork. His attorney whispered something to Edward and he nodded back.

"So as you can see, I've drawn up papers that allow the sale of the land. It basically states that both parties agree to the sale and the only thing I need to know is how to split the funds from the sale," Mike said as he went flipped a page with an arrow pointing for a signature.

I couldn't even look at Edward or else I would burst into tears. It was much harder doing this than I thought. After each line I read I didn't know if I could handle it.

"Edward and I have discussed this and since Ms. Swan agrees to no financial help from Mr. Cullen, he is suggesting a scholarship for aspiring educators," Edward's lawyer said coldly.

I then lost it. I began to sob uncontrollably. Edward and I had discussed a couple of years ago that we wanted to give back to the community. He wanted to start a scholarship for students who wanted to teach others. It was supposed to be our project together.

Mike stood up and said, "I think we need to take a break for a moment. Excuse us."

"Actually, if you don't mind I'd like to speak with Bella," Edward said. I shook my head no. I didn't want to talk to him. I wanted him to go away. I wanted it to be as if he never existed.

"Please Bella, I think we need to talk," he begged.

I shook my head yes.

"I'll leave the two of you alone then. If you need anything, let me know Bella," Mike said as he patted my shoulder.

I reached for a box of tissues on the table that were out of my grasp and Edward handed them to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. I figured this was the best way to handle the money. I didn't need it. I thought you would be pleased to do this."

I wiped the tear away and said, "Why Edward? Why do you continue to spend so much time around me? You let me walk away, you let me leave and now all the sudden you are here. I'm so confused by your behavior."

Edward ran his hands through his auburn locks and sighed.

"Bella, do you remember in High School when I asked you to marry me? You were so excited about the wedding and then a couple of days before you got cold feet?"

"Yes, I do." I hated to think about that. It was so hard to let him know that I had my doubts.

"I told you that no matter what, I wouldn't leave you. If we were to end this, it was going to be by your hands. I wanted you to be happy in life no matter what, and I'm sorry that I was such a jerk to you through all this. I love you so much and it hurts to see you like this."

He lifted my chin with his finger. "I would have given anything to not sign those papers the other day. I did it because it was what you wanted."

I blinked away more tears as I stared deep into his eyes. They were bright green and when they were bright, I knew honesty was flowing from his lips.

"Edward, I need to leave. I'm so confused right now I don't know what to do with myself." I stood, gathering my items in a flash.

"Wait Bella, before you go."

He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a box.

"I was going through some things at the house and I saw this on the sink in the bathroom. I want you to do with it what you deem fit."

I opened the box and shining before me was the diamond engagement ring he gave me so many years ago. I closed it and sat it down on the table and walked out of the room.


A/N: Yes I know, it's an all Bella chapter. I decided to do it like this because people wanted to know Eddie C's deal. I'm wondering if any of you can figure it out yet.

Also, I was discussing with JenniP the other day about my inspiration of the characters. Of course I told you first chapter the idea came from my great-grandmother's engagement ring, but the characters, Hope Floats. Take Harry Connick, Jr.'s character and put Jasper in his place. Yup, that's him. The sweet, caring guy who pines for the girl he always loved.

Shoutouts definitely need to go to JenniP for the utter support through this. I called her from the grocery store last night all in a panic because I was in the Ice Cream aisle writing internal dialogue for stories and was beginning to think I was going crazy. She assured me that I was and that I was okay.

Huge, HUGE thanks to my new beta, cereuleanblue for doing all the tense corrections for me. I am the suck at it. Come to find out, she's the wife of a high school friend. So it makes it even more awesome!

And also, I have to thank kennedymommy3 for all the great things she does. Not only has she been a great supporter, reader and commenter, add ALLSOME author to that. I have to fluff "Meant to Be" by her. So good so far!!