Yubiwa Chapter 6: Verse 6: A Smile As We Parted, an escaflowne fanfic

Yubiwa

Verse 6: A Smile As We Parted

...

Even if something lapses away, something will

Live once again.

When you gave me a smile as we parted, it was

Your message for me

To truly live with all my heart.

...

The royal Fanelian leviship flew over the great metropolis that was Van's country, throwing a large shadow over the people as it flew onto the docks. Hitomi was pressed up against the glass windows, in awe as she saw all the townsfolk below, looking up to the leviship in excitement. Their king was back! The Wing Goddess was back! Hitomi could almost hear them exclaiming it to each other before rushing over to the leviship dock to greet them with banners, cheers, and bright, bright, smiles.

"King Van! Welcome home!"

"Lady Wing Goddess! Welcome back!"

Van chuckled as he heard them outside of the ship, looking to Hitomi as she stared a little hesitantly at the door that would lead them to the rest of Fanelia. She was undoubtedly unused to all the attention, having come from a place where she was just another face in the crowd. But that uneasy feeling evaporated soon enough, when Van reached out and grasped her hand in his, squeezing it in comfort and offering his kind smile to her forest green gaze.

"Let's go, Hitomi."

She couldn't help the bubbly feeling rising in her chest as Van opened the door, following after him as he kept his grip tight on her hand, and she kept her grip tight on his.

"Yeah. Let's."

...

The mirror was outlined by a golden frame that had little designs carved into it, swirling along the length of the mirror. It was subtle, existing but unnoticeable because of its small size. Hitomi supposed that was what her dress was like.

"You look very beautiful, Lady Wing Goddess." Her own personal maid said, bowing as she stood to the side of the mirror and allowed the seer to gaze flabbergasted at herself. The material was white; not like the cream-white she wore when she last talked to Allen, but a pure white that seemed to glow even in the darkness. It highlighted the dusty pink fluttering over her cheeks and gave her forest green eyes an ethereal presence.

"I… I certainly feel beautiful!" Hitomi responded, her pink lips curving up in a sheepish smile. She didn't know why, but she was in a very happy mood today. Even if she ended up seeing Ophelia in all of her beauty, Hitomi was sure that wouldn't put a damper on her mood. The seer was just feeling too giddy and confident for any of that troublesome moping, and it showed in her face as well.

"Lady Merle awaits your presence in the dining hall. Shall I lead you there?" The maid asked, her head ducking down so they didn't meet eyes. Hitomi just smiled softly, tilting the younger girl's head up herself as she answered.

"No, that's fine. I already know the way." The maid stared at her with wide eyes, trying to wrap her head around the fact that she had locked gazes with the esteemed Wing Goddess. Hitomi tried to ignore the honoured curtsy the maid dipped into as thanks, and merely turned, her white dress swishing deliciously around her calves as she made her way out of her room.

The hallways were empty for the most part, a few servants scuttling around carrying linens and other such things. Whenever they spotted Hitomi, with her glowing white dress and striking green eyes, all of them would drop their carried items, staring at her in awe and admiration. Quickly, as if reassured of her validity as a goddess, they would all drop to their knees before her, muttering prayers under their breath (much like Falco once did) as she passed. She tried to ignore them, but found herself unable to.

Sighing, Hitomi turned the corner of the hallway; at first not noticing the open door she walked past. But then she heard the sounds of heavy breathing, and backtracked to peek in through the small crack of the door. A sense of nostalgia stirred within her, when she remembered that this was the exact door she had peeked through ten years ago to see Van and Balgus training together. The only difference was that this time, it was just Van.

She was silent for a long time, just standing there and watching Van as he swerved fluidly around the training room, his sword gleaming as he held it. It winked at her, light dancing across the blade as the sovereign slashed downwards, the tip of his sword hovering millimetres above the wooden floor. Hitomi remembered watching him do that in a forest late at night, and she could feel the nostalgia swelling up within her once more.

"Hitomi?" She heard him say as his crimson eyes spotted her half-hidden in the doorway. The young woman blushed, sliding the door open the rest of the way and stepping into the room, her hand coming up to wave a little. The white of her dress shimmered as she moved, entrancing Van's eyes as he raked his stare all over her body. She flushed red when she noticed, crossing her arms as if that would shield his blatant appraisal.

"S-sorry about interrupting. I was just passing by, and the door was open." She admitted, sheepish as her green eyes darted to the floor, avoiding his fiery eyes. Van put his sword away, laying it in the elaborate case in the training room. He hadn't been practicing for very long, so there wasn't any sticky sweat coating his body, only a warm temperature that radiated from him when he got close enough for Hitomi to feel.

"It's fine." He told her, smiling softly. "I was getting tired of practicing anyways." Hitomi looked up, her lips curving into a shy smile as she played with her dress. "You look… beautiful, Hitomi." Van breathed, reaching out, but stopping before he touched her. She was disappointed, but tried not to show it, and instead covered it up by letting a wide smile pull her lips upwards.

"Thank you."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, as if the both of them were back to the times of their shy, self-conscious, not-a-kid-but-not-yet-an-adult period. But Hitomi was supposed to be past that stage of her life, and she thought so resolutely after peeking a glance at Van's flushing face, which she was pretty sure wasn't from his workout. As for Van, it was becoming painfully obvious to him that Hitomi was a woman; a very beautiful woman that his people just so happened to think was a goddess (somewhat his fault, he supposed).

"Is there a special occasion?" Van asked, gesturing to the splendour of the dress. Hitomi looked down at herself, thinking that it seemed quite simple to her, and must've looked better on her than she had ever imagined. It was floor-length, skimming the tips of the ground when she walked and feeling light and fluttery around her legs. The bodice fit nicely against her figure, and the straps were thin, criss-crossing her back.

"Oh, no reason really, I was just—" Hitomi started, only to be cut off as Van blinked in surprise, grasping her wrist. He was wearing his trademark brown gloves, and Hitomi contented in the feel of the leather against her skin, even though she would've loved nothing more than to feel his bare hands just like that night so long ago.

"Really? That's a shame for such a lovely dress." He said, stepping closer to her body as his (when did they get like that?) smouldering crimson eyes locked onto her nervous forest-y ones. "Maybe… we could do something?" Van asked, smiling gently at her as he took her other wrist in his leather-clad hand. Hitomi's heart was almost about to burst from her chest as she saw him leaning closer. Her lips were parted, and her fingers curled around his wrists for extra support as she began to rise on her toes in order to get closer.

"Anything." Hitomi breathed, continuing to advance as his lips got closer and closer. She could almost feel his breaths on her cheeks when suddenly he pulled back, his mouth grinning widely.

"Great!" He exclaimed, letting go of one of her wrists to drag her out of the training room. "Follow me!" And Hitomi couldn't help but follow, delighting in the feel of his hand clamped tightly around her wrist, but lamenting in the loss of a missed opportunity.

...

"Van!" Hitomi shouted, her voice not seeming to reach the king's ears as he dragged her up the stairs that never seemed to end. "Van, where are we going?" she shouted again, trying not to let the huffing show in her voice. As a track runner, it was something of an embarrassment to be so winded just by climbing a few steps, but Hitomi supposed the blame could be put on that damn scar at the back of her leg.

"Just a little more, Hitomi!" She heard him shout back at her, and she struggled to keep up with his long strides. One hand was gripped in her skirt, lifting it high above her feet so that she wouldn't trip and fall, and it was in that moment that Hitomi desperately wished to be wearing pants like Van was. And boots too. High heels killed.

Trying to ignore the painstaking throbs in the soles of her feet, Hitomi was finally glad to see a door up ahead, which Van pushed open. Light flooded in, blinding her for a few moments before she was pulled through it by Van, still going at his excited and rapid pace. It was only until her eyes adjusted to the brightness of everything that she realized she was standing on the roof of Fanelia's palace.

"Just… give me a couple of seconds." Van said, but Hitomi had not heard him, for she slowly made her way to the edge of the roof, peering over it and down to the Fanelian people going about their ordinary day. Van watched her for a little, awed at the sight of her dress that seemed to glow brighter than ever before. The sun's rays played off the shimmering fabric of her gown, lighting up her entire body until it almost seemed to flush pink with happiness.

The people down below her seemed to notice it too, and one-by-one, all the city folk turned their heads up to the sky to gasp and awe at the sight of Hitomi looking down on them, as a benevolent goddess might look down on her followers. That is, until she suddenly started to fidget around with something below her, cursing and shouting at the unknown thing for being a blasphemy to all the planets of the universe.

Hitomi sighed with relief as her bare feet gingerly touched the stone floor of the roof, the coldness feeling good on her sore soles. Beside the young woman, lying sideways and already forgotten, were the pair of high heels that she had borrowed from Merle (because her own shoes were still being made). The seer often wondered how Millerna, and Celena, and Merle could take walking around in those… deathtraps every single day! But then again, Hitomi was much more used to runners and sandals than heels, unlike most of the girls she knew (including Yukari).

A light breeze wafted by, sending little bumps up and down Hitomi's arms as she stood in its way. Suppressing a shiver (and failing), Hitomi reached up to rub her hands along her arms, trying to get rid of the strange texture appearing on her skin. She didn't notice Van sneaking up behind her; his red shirt discarded on the floor somewhere and the unearthly existence of his empyreal wings rising high above him. They curled smoothly inwards, shielding the Fanelian King and his Wing Goddess from the harsh elements, bathing them in celestial light and glowing warmth.

"Van?" Hitomi breathed, turning to face him as he smiled down at her, his obsidian hair tousled around his face. She could still see his shining crimson eyes through all that hair, and felt her heart skip a beat when she realized that there was no one around to interrupt them; no Merle, no Allen, and definitely no Ophelia. It was just Hitomi and Van.

A very devious Van, it seemed when Hitomi caught sight of the mischievous smile that spread over his face. "Wanna go for a ride, Hitomi?" He asked, and for a second, she wasn't sure what he meant by that. But then his wings unfurled, feathers dancing everywhere as she felt his bare hands grabbing her waist. They left tingling sensations imprinted in her skin, remaining there even after he had catapulted her into the sky.

"VAN!!" Hitomi screeched, flailing her arms in panic when she realized he was still standing on the edge of the Fanelian rooftops, waving to her with a smile as if she was leaving Gaea via a pillar of light. But the problem was that there was no pillar of light. There was just Hitomi, the blue, blue, sky and her obvious lack of unearthly, ethereal wings.

Van watched, entranced, as Hitomi hovered in the air, her white dress flowing around her. While Hitomi and the people of Fanelia saw her falling to the cold, cruel ground, Van saw a goddess descending to her followers, ready to bestow them with miracles and blessings. But of course, Hitomi wasn't a goddess, and she really was falling to her doom. So, the young sovereign of Fanelia stepped to the very edge of the roof, pushing off and finally letting himself take flight into the skies with a powerful burst of his wings. He soared up, arms outstretched to catch his goddess as she fell in midair, cradling her to him once she was safely in his arms.

"Have fun?" Van asked her cheekily, smiling even as her green eyes narrowed at his crimson ones, her hands curling into fists that began to beat at his chest. Hitomi tried not to think about how hard his chest was as she thumped her tiny fists against it, and how gentle his arms were as he carried her in the sky. Van tried to pay attention to the words spewing out of her mouth instead of the pretty blush that extended across her cheeks.

"—terrifying, and completely unnecessary—" she ranted, continuing to beat at him with her fists while glaring into his crimson eyes that sparkled with mirth. "—and what if you didn't catch me? My brain could be splattered all over the ground right now and—" Hitomi continued, stopping suddenly and with an imperceptible gasp when his sparkling eyes flat-lined, narrowing with hurt as his arms instinctively tightened around her petite form.

"Hitomi," Van whispered softly, adjusting his arms from under her body to around her waist and forcing her to grab his shoulders in order to balance herself, "I'm always going to catch you."

For a moment, all Hitomi could hear was her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She was suddenly entirely aware of his bare chest pressed up against hers, his thick arms wrapped around her tiny waist. Her own arms were loosely entangled around his neck, seemingly there for support that wasn't needed. She was painfully aware of all of those things until Van's smile came rushing back, and he began to glide away into the direction of the forests.

"Come on, I thought you might like to see Escaflowne again." He said, weaving through the trees and branches and leaves like he had done it a million times before. Hitomi wasn't sure how she felt about seeing the old guymelef again, since it seemed to be such an integral part of the Great War. It was almost like seeing it again would really solidify all that she had gone through, and all that Van had suffered in order to gain what he had today.

When they broke into the clearing, and Van set her on the dirt floor, Escaflowne was the first thing that she saw. It was still the same, sitting there with that majestic presence it always seemed to have. For a second, Hitomi was reminded of a God, sitting high above his people and watching over them, bringing calamity or peace depending on what he believed they deserved. And then she was brutally reminded of herself, and of that celestial power the people of Gaea believed she had over them.

Hitomi crossed her arms, trying to quell the shivering that had occurred because of the thought. She tried to focus on happier things, but the seer soon realized that that was quite impossible, remembering the last time she saw this place in the forest. It was right before that pillar of light descended, carrying Hitomi back to Earth and her family, and away from Gaea and Van.

"Hitomi? Are you alright?" Van asked, cutting her train of thought as she whipped around in surprise. His wings were gone, but he was still bare-chested. She looked away quickly, trying not to give in to the temptation of ogling at his abdomen for long periods of time. If he noticed her blush, he didn't say anything, opting instead to stand beside her and look out at his country nestled in the mountains.

"The rebellion is gone." She said lightly, avoiding his question. Van let her topic change slide, going along with her as he smiled softly at Fanelia.

"Yes, it is." He answered. Hitomi gave him a glance from the corner of her eye, lingering on his face before she turned back to the grand sight of the little country in the mountains.

"Fanelia is safe." Hitomi prodded, beginning to twiddle with her fingers now as Van turned to her and gave her a quizzical stare. She refused to look at him, keeping her eyes trained firmly ahead, and avoiding his eyes even as he stood directly in front of her.

"What are you saying, Hitomi?" He asked, and Hitomi turned to walk closer to Escaflowne, wondering if it was such a good idea to do what she was doing. But then she thought about Yukari and Amano, and her mother and father and brother on Earth. She thought about the college tuition they already paid for, and her packed bags in her room. She thought about Ophelia, with her sweet smile and her stern glare.

"You don't need me here anymore, Van." Hitomi said, smiling sadly at Escaflowne as if she was saying goodbye to him one last time. "You probably didn't need me here at all. I've done nothing but be a burden to you. To Millerna and Dryden and Allen and everyone else!" The anger began to bubble beneath the surface, and she whipped around to glare at Van even as the tears began to drip hotly down her cheeks. She couldn't stand seeing the anguished look on his face, even through the blurs of her tears, so she turned back, hugging herself in the comfort that didn't seem to come.

"Do you want to leave?" The seer heard him ask. She didn't know whether to nod or shake her head, but Van didn't give her the option to do either. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist and pulling her back to his chest, burying his nose in her hair as she stiffened beneath him. "I don't want you to leave, Hitomi. Please… please don't go."

Hitomi didn't know what to do, so she closed her eyes and let the last of her tears fall, taking deep breaths and relishing in the feel of his arms around her. "Then I'll stay." She told him, smiling softly. "I'll stay for as long as you want me here." And she feverishly hoped that it was forever.

...

If there was one thing Hitomi learned from this entire experience, it was that you should never anger a hellcat. Especially if that hellcat was Merle.

"I said I was sorry!!" The seer cried hysterically, dodging to hide behind a couch as Merle chucked silverware and tea sets at her, hissing with her tail all puffed up. She looked positively hellish, with her entire face red and claws that gleamed menacingly in the light. They were just as intimidating as the forks and knives that stabbed into the wall behind Hitomi and the couch in front of her. She could hear the little ripping sounds as they made contact, and shivered.

"Those were my precious heels!" Merle hissed, a plate hitting the wall and miraculously falling to the floor intact. "I let you borrow them because I thought you'd wear them at least! But what do I find? That they were left discarded on the roof!" For a moment, Hitomi wondered what was so important about a simple pair of heels, but decided that her life was far more important than finding out the answer to what Merle would consider a stupid question.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Hitomi tried again, clutching the back of the couch and praying she got out of this in one piece. "I swear it'll never happen again!" Merle scoffed, and Hitomi felt the palpable taste of her rage die down. The hellcat was calming, which was a good thing. But the question now was, is it safe enough to peek over the top of the couch to talk to her?

"Of course it won't," Merle said nonchalantly as she walked over with a sway in her stride, plopping on the couch, "because I'm never lending you any of my clothes ever again." Hitomi sighed in relief, figuring keeping to her own closet was better than having her eyes scratched out by a hellcat. But she supposed it still was not safe to come out, and leaned on the back of the couch to get comfortable. Hitomi took that time to look around the room, examining all the walls and furniture in Merle's bedroom. It was all very beautiful, but Hitomi couldn't help but notice something strange.

"Merle? Your room is right beside Van's, right?" She asked, hearing the cat-woman reply with a, "mmmhm!" which puzzled her even more. "So… why doesn't it have a door leading to his room like my room does?" When the light hums of the older woman suddenly stopped, Hitomi knew there was something wrong. She poked her head over the top of the couch, glaring at Merle who was trying to look everywhere but at Hitomi. "Merle…" Her voice was tinged with warning, and the cat-woman winced.

"Just for the record, I was against putting you in that room from the beginning." Merle said snarkily, reverting to her former thirteen-year old self who at first despised Hitomi and the relationship she was slowly developing with Van-sama. "But… that room is, well, the Fanelian Queen's bedroom."

Merle continued to go on about why there was a door connecting their rooms, and how she was still against it, and all these other things that Hitomi had no care for. The only thing she heard was "the Fanelian Queen's bedroom" repeatedly playing in her head. It brought up so many questions about why she was put there, why she was still there. Maybe a shortage of rooms? Or maybe it was the only room nice enough for the "Wing Goddess"? It could've also been the one reason Hitomi wished so desperately for, but was too afraid to embrace the possibility because she'd merely have her heart broken. And that was because Van wanted to make her his wife. Because Van loved her like she loved him.

...

Dinner was delicious, and Hitomi sighed happily as the door to her bedroom (or the Fanelian Queen's bedroom…) clicked shut. She leaned against it, rubbing her full stomach in complete satisfaction before heading over to the large bed. She plopped onto it, burying her face in the pillows and closing her eyes happily. Throughout dinner, Van had turned almost all of his attention to her, and they were chatting constantly and smiling and laughing at each other. In fact, Van said he'd love to continue the conversation after Hitomi had claimed a full stomach.

Giddy, the seer got up from her bed and walked over to the door separating their rooms, knocking hesitantly. There was the sound of some shuffling in the other room before Van opened the door, staring down at Hitomi with a bright smile.

"Come in, Hitomi." The king said, inviting her into his room. She crossed into his room, her hands clasped behind her back as she looked around. Hitomi took care not to stare at the bed, and avoided it as best she could. Instead, she took a seat on the couch pushed up against one of the walls, pleasantly surprised to see hot tea and some snacks on the coffee table in front of her. Someone had obviously anticipated her arrival with enthusiasm.

Van noticed her cheeky grin, and he flushed red as he sat down beside her. "So, how is the Mystic Moon different from Gaea?" He asked, continuing their conversation from dinner. They were discussing Hitomi's home planet and their customs there, which was a nostalgic experience for Hitomi and a fascinating one for Van.

"Earth." She reminded him. "At home, we call my planet 'Earth'." Van repeated the word, getting his mouth used to it while his companion smiled happily at his effort of trying to understand her better. "Well for one, we don't have animal-people like Merle or Ruhm." Van blinked in surprise, his mouth dropping open when Hitomi announced that. He couldn't imagine a world without animal-people, especially Merle and Ruhm. Hitomi just smiled knowingly, continuing on. "We don't have leviships either. We have something called airplanes."

They talked for a long while, Hitomi trying to teach Van about technology, and the different modes of transportation, and Van revealing aspects of Gaea that Hitomi had never known before. Like the basic mythology of how Gaea was created, and the gods and goddesses worshipped by the Gaean people before Hitomi came along to guide them as the Wing Goddess.

"But I don't have special powers!" She argued with him heatedly, her eyes narrowed. "Well, at least not ones that could really make a miracle!" He gave her a pointed look, as if reminding her of that thing that happened ten years ago (four in Earth years) that she had been a key chess piece in. Which then dove into a discussion about chess, and other games that Earth and Gaea had.

They talked for so long that soon enough a comfortable silence took hold of the room, both still having more to say but deciding to remain quiet and just enjoy the atmosphere. The tea had long gone cold, the snacks left uneaten. Hitomi felt a little guilty for letting it go to waste, but found it easy not to think about when her head was leaning comfortably on Van's shoulder.

"Hitomi…" Van started, and she hummed in response, to let him know that she was listening. "Are you happy here? On Gaea?" He asked, his body suddenly tense as he awaited her answer. Hitomi sat up straight, looking at Van with surprised eyes when he asked her that question. His crimson eyes turned to look at her, the emotions in them intense and sending shivers up her spine.

"Of course I am, Van." Hitomi said. She wanted to add, 'I'm happy wherever you are.' But decided against it. Instead, she told him, "If I wasn't happy here, I wouldn't stay."

Too bad those words would come back to haunt her much sooner than she anticipated.

...

She bid him goodnight, entering her room but not closing the door, instead letting only a sliver of light pass through. There were a few moments of prolonged silence, in which Hitomi just leaned against the door with a light smile playing at her lips. A stifled giggle came over her, and she muffled the rest of her girlish squeals with two hands clapping over her mouth. Her heart was soaring past her chest, dancing around the room just as she began to twirl, her pale yellow nightdress fluttering around her.

Hitomi neared her bed, collapsing upon it with more hushed laughter as she wondered how she was possibly going to get to sleep. Every cell in her body seemed to be thrumming with adrenaline, screaming at her to do something. But it wasn't long before the effect died down, and she was left spooned on the bed, recounting all the tiring (but fun!) things that happened to her that day. Flying through the air with Van, trying to quell Merle's spastic temper, and basking in the silence of Van's room as she used his shoulder as a pillow. That was the image she fell asleep with, the feeling of Van's breath on her hair and his hard shoulder pressed against her cheek.

...

She dreamt of him that night, with his wings unfurled and standing at the royal Fanelian grave, Escaflowne seated directly behind him looking as majestic as ever. He was turned to her, staring at her directly with his crimson eyes open, but looking empty. Between the feathery appendages extending from his back was the ghostly form of Ophelia hovering there. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders before they started to wind around his neck, bringing her closer to him.

Hitomi was able to do nothing but watch as her light brown hair draped over him, her chest pressing into his back. Van's head turned to look at her, his eyes hooded and still empty, while hers were glazed over in an emotion Hitomi was unable to identify. The curve of her lips inched slowly closer to Van's own, and her entire body seemed to start to melt into him with every moment the gap got smaller.

Just as Ophelia's pliant pink lips brushed delicately over Van's, Hitomi screamed.

...

With a shuddering gasp, the seer jolted up in bed, her fingers curled violently in her bed sheets as she tried to ascertain where she was. Even in the darkness of the room, Hitomi was able to pick out her familiar surroundings, and her heart slowed somewhat after her mind established that this place was safe. That she couldn't be hurt here.

A deep, shaky breath invigorated her bloodstream, filling her body with life and reality as she managed to uncurl one of her hands from its desperate hold on her linens to reach up and cover her green eyes. She didn't remember what she dreamed about, but it was painfully obvious that from the way she was shaking, it wasn't a very happy dream.

Taking a few more breaths to calm her shaking to something manageable, Hitomi wondered what she was going to do now. Did she want to go back to sleep and dream something horrible again? And maybe even remember it after she woke up? The scared young woman didn't find that particular choice comforting, and thought maybe a trip to the kitchen for some warm milk would do. But she didn't think her shaking legs would take her very far.

It was then that she heard shuffling on the other side of the door that separated her room from Van's. Was he still awake in the middle of the night, she thought? Surely he would be an immense amount of comfort to her, and she wouldn't feel so guilty about waking him while he was sleeping if he wasn't actually sleeping. So Hitomi took that chance, throwing the bed covers off her pale legs. The nightgown she wore to bed had hiked up, and she pulled them back down with a furious flush. Taking another deep breath to ready herself, Hitomi was able to stand on her shaking legs with relative ease.

Afraid she would fall spontaneously, Hitomi took to slow steps as she inched her way to the connecting door, her arms stretched out for balance. With every step she took, the shuffling from Van's room got louder. He seemed to be agitated, or aggravated for some reason, which worried Hitomi slightly. She quickened her pace, reaching the door in half the time it would have originally took her. The cold metal of the doorknob felt good on her heated hands, but the uneasy feeling that shocked through her body when she touched it didn't.

'Van probably had a nightmare too.' She thought to herself, tightening her hold on the handle. 'We can comfort each other.' With that thought resolutely in her mind, Hitomi took one final deep breath as she silently opened the door just a little, enough to peek through. She was prepared to expel all that gathered air in her lungs once she saw Van pacing his room, maybe running his large hands through his obsidian hair in frustration. But the sight that greeted her eyes had blocked the passage of exhalation in her body, offering her nothing but the ice that frosted over her beating heart, and the falling tears that held all of her hopes and dreams.

"Van…"

She wasn't sure if the breathy whisper of his name came from her mouth or from Ophelia's, but she was very sure the pale legs wrapped around Van's waist were not her own.

Another tear dropped to the floor, the carpet underneath her soaking it in just as Van's head bent forward and his lips closed around one pert nipple. His strong hands were gripping Ophelia's waist, her own delicate hands resting on his strong forearms in order to balance herself as she tipped her head back, her long brown hair hanging like a curtain under her head. From the way Van's hips were thrusting forward into that special place between Ophelia's legs, Hitomi was sure she was intruding on something that was sacred and private, and undeniably not hers.

Just as silently as she had crept to the entrance of Van's room (maybe even more silently), the young woman stepped away from the little crack, pushing the door until it closed completely with a soft, 'click'. She backed slowly away from the noises on the other side of the wall, climbing into bed with her eyes now dry and covering herself with the blanket. For a long time she lay there, listening to the faint sounds on the other side of the wall, her grip on the bed sheets tightening as a muffled groan traveled its way to her ears. She continued to listen even after everything had gone quiet, and she was left with nothing but the ice in her heart and the tears on her pillow. Until she could hear nothing except Allen's words echoing through her head.

'Van loves you.'

She didn't know who "you" was anymore.

...

Merle yawned as she walked down the hall where the royal Fanelian bedrooms were located. It was a miracle she was able to fall asleep that night, her sensitive ears picking up the racket coming from the other side of her wall. The next morning, everyone could almost see the concern pouring off of her aura in waves, puzzling them. But none of them bothered asking because it was the cat-woman's business, and if you tried to poke your nose in her business, more often than not you would be wearing scratches up and down your arms.

She sighed, stopping in front of Hitomi's door and knocking casually. Merle had already stopped by the formal dining hall, where she assumed the seer would be. Hitomi wasn't usually in the habit of sleeping late, but she supposed there was a first time for everything. And anyways, she and Van had stayed up quite late chatting, so she supposed the seer had a reason.

"Hitomi?" Merle asked, getting impatient as she stood waiting there for quite a few seconds. "Hey, lazy butt! Get up already; if I have to wake up early, so do you!" She hissed, her tail puffing up as she stared angrily at the door. It took a few more seconds for the door to open, but in a very hesitant and slow way. When Merle saw Hitomi's face peek out a little bit in the crack, she knew something was wrong. "Hitomi?"

"Good morning, Merle." She greeted, her voice faint and distant as she opened the door a little wider. "Is there something that requires my attention?" The cat-woman was a little surprised as she stepped further into the room, Hitomi already fully dressed and physically ready to tackle the day. However, by the strangely empty look on her face, Merle wasn't sure if the seer was emotionally ready.

"Not really." She answered, crossing her arms as she looked around at the dim room. The curtains had been pulled shut, blocking the passage of light into the room and throwing into a dreary, dark place. "What, did you suddenly decide that living in an evil sorcerer-like room was much more fulfilling?" Merle asked, turning a critical eye to Hitomi, who had walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. She didn't display any emotional response to Merle, simply staring at her with a very blank look on her face.

"I think better in the dark." She said, her voice flat. Merle still wasn't convinced, and her eyebrows furrowed as she crept silently to the door, pushing it shut until the room was thrown in darkness. There was something definitely wrong with Hitomi, and Merle was going to get to the bottom of it.

"So think about the words you're going to use when you tell me what's wrong with you." The cat-woman said, her voice low as she neared Hitomi. As a cat-human, her eyes were very adept at seeing in the dark, and she could catch Hitomi's body reacting to the question in the form of a faint twitch. "Hitomi…" Merle's voice took on an edge of warning, her tail flicking side-by-side in an impatient way.

"I saw them together." Hitomi said softly, the words echoing through the room as Merle's entire aura seemed to freeze in ice. This was the thing that she had dreaded for so long, which she had hoped and hoped would be revealed differently but had been exposed in the worst possible way. Now there would be major misunderstandings, and possibly devastating quarrels. She had to straighten things out before they got out of hand.

"Hitomi—"

"They looked beautiful, like two fish in perfect synchronization, swimming around the other. A king and his queen. A man and a woman. Two halves of a whole. That's what they looked like." She remained incredibly still on the bed, almost like a life-sized doll that needed manual adjustment to find a new position. "But I'm sure that it's not possible to achieve that kind of harmony just by taking a crack at it the first time, right Merle?" The cat-woman couldn't answer; all she could do was stand with her sharp nails digging into her palms and hope for the best, because it didn't seem like the seer would be listening to anything anytime soon.

Hitomi stood, her black dress moving gravely around her legs as she walked towards the heavy curtains. It looked like a mourning dress to Merle, but Hitomi wondered what there was to mourn. An unrequited love?

"What are you going to do now?" Merle asked, her head dropped so her eyes could gaze at the darkness below her. 'Are you going back to the Mystic Moon?' That was the question she really wanted to ask, but was afraid to find the answer to. Hitomi didn't answer her though, opting instead to push the curtains back and let the sun's light finally shine into the bedroom, highlighting the tear tracks on her pillow and the rumpled sheets of her bed.

Hitomi moved across the expanse of her large guest room, passing Merle without a glance as she reached for the handle of the door. "Shall we get breakfast?" She asked, her voice suddenly bright and cheery like the old Hitomi was back again. But Merle knew better, seeing the emptiness that was evident in her eyes; the anguish that lie beyond her mask and the ice in her heart that was never going to melt. "Will Van be there?" She asked nonchalantly, her eyes flashing with pain for only a split second when his name was mentioned. Merle grimaced.

"He neglected all his duties yesterday to spend time with you. He'll be busy all day, catching up on his work." She admitted honestly, staying in her spot in the room even as Hitomi opened the door and began to step outside with that cheery (fake) smile still on her face.

"Oh, that's too bad." She said, her voice not sounding the least bit disappointed. It almost sounded relieved to Merle's sensitive ears. Hitomi shrugged, her black skirts whisking around the door as she began to head to the dining room, calling after Merle with a question that had the cat-woman's heart thumping in anxiety.

"Hey, Merle. Do you think I'd look good with long hair?"

...

She never ended up growing her hair. It was still boy-short, lengthening maybe a few inches since she first came back to Gaea. Attempting to grow it as long as Ophelia had it would be like spending years in Fanelia, but she didn't think she'd last that long without trying to do something to save her broken, icy heart. So she left it as it was, figuring the darkness was more than enough cover to hide her obvious lack of luxurious long locks.

Hitomi took a deep, shaky breath as she sat primly on the edge of her bed, listening to the silent sounds of the night. The soft movements of her short hair as they brushed against her ears; the whisper of her skirts as they flowed delicately around her ankles. The curtains were drawn open, letting in the soft glow of the moonlight that played happily on her pale skin.

She would do this. Just once, Hitomi would allow herself to take this one selfish action and lock it away in her heart forever. She would carry it to her grave and beyond, never allowing herself another greedy deed to appease her broken heart. She would cherish this one moment and savour every second of it as much as she possibly could. Her mind was made up and her decision was written in stone.

She was ready.

Hitomi took one final breath, expelling it through her nostrils before she rose swiftly from her bed. The cloth draping over her body was an amaranth pink, soft to the touch and very light and breezy. It was one of her favourite nightdresses because it was the colour of her grandmother's pendant, but more so because it reminded her of the feeling of Van's soft feathers fluttering over her skin. Barely there, but noticeable because of the tingling sensation it left behind.

Turning to the door that separated the king's room and the queen's room, Hitomi took a small step towards it, chanting in her head that she was going to do this. The apprehension bubbling inside her body only intensified with every step that took her closer to the door. She began to hesitate more, her body almost ready to turn back with each step before her mind chanted louder in her head, forcing her feet forward. It was an agonizing, almost physically painful process but she finally laid her heated hand against the cool metal of the door handle and pulled.

It swung open with relative ease and no creaks of protest, which made the thrumming in her chest beat faster. Unlike her own room, where she preferred to keep the curtains closed to block the light of the moon, Van's curtains were wide open. The soft light shone into the space, slightly nerve-wracking because of all the shadows that flickered and danced. In the middle of it all (and most likely the person causing all the moving shadows) was Van, his body twisting and turning in his sleep.

Hitomi took another step forward, her eyes drawn to him because she was entranced. He slept with his customary red shirt, and Hitomi could see the shimmer of sweat playing over the exposed skin with the help of the dim light from the moon. He seemed almost in pain, his breathing laboured as he tangled himself in his blankets. It was only until Hitomi took a few more steps closer, enough to be standing by his bedside, did Van wake with a guttural shout, jolting upwards with dilated eyes. It scared her slightly, making her jump.

Van turned to her, and Hitomi was glad she had decided to stand with her back to the light, therefore shadowing her face quite well. The king of Fanelia stared at her for quite a while, until Hitomi's apprehension grew so much that she slowly leaned down and lay a cool hand on his unnaturally warm chest. It was slick with sweat, but she didn't care about that just as she didn't register the feeling of something long and thin pressing against her palm.

All Hitomi could do was look into Van's crimson eyes that glowed with a strange intensity at her, and that seemed to be clouded in an emotion she was unable to identify (or was too afraid to identify?). She tried to ignore it, her eyelids growing heavier as she leaned closer and closer to his mouth. He remained perfectly still underneath her, but that was because Hitomi couldn't see the trembling of his fists as they gripped at his bed sheets.

Van's mouth was only a brush away, and Hitomi couldn't help his name escaping her lips dulcetly before she finally made contact, treasuring the warm sensation that spread through her entire body.

"Van…"

It quickly froze over, however, when the warm feeling tried to reach her icy heart. Van had come to life after the simple sound of his name falling from her lips, and the almost nonexistent sweep of her lips against his. One of his hands uncurled, reaching up to lie on her corresponding shoulder and push her away. She was sent sprawling to the floor, the hand on his chest clenching into a fist as she flew backwards.

"No!" Van shouted when he realized what she had done. "Hitomi, I can't… I can't…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say next. But Hitomi didn't care what he had to say to her, because his touch said everything. The moment his hand laid on her shoulder, Hitomi knew it was rejection. But she didn't want to believe it; still didn't believe it.

"Why not, Van?" She asked, not bothering to get up from where she sat eerily calm on the floor. "I want this." Her eyes were trained on the floor below her so she couldn't see his face, but she could definitely hear the strangled gasp that emerged from his throat. Was the idea of being with her so horrible? Hitomi wanted to weep in sorrow and heartbreak at the thought, but she found her tear ducts surprisingly dry. Her hands were still clenched on the floor, supporting her (albeit with shaking arms).

"I can't make you do this… I haven't even—" he cut himself off, cursing under his breath. "Just… Hitomi, I want you to get Ophelia." She stiffened, her nails beginning to break through her skin. "I need you to go, right now!" His voice was becoming urgent, quivering with a frightening intensity as his eyes squeezed shut. "Now!"

"I don't want to leave!" Hitomi screamed, standing up with a flourish as a red flush dotted her cheeks. "Whatever Ophelia can do, I can do!" She argued, an angry red flashing across her sight. But Van wasn't in the mood to quarrel with her, and especially not in his current state of mind and her current state of dress. It was torture for him to hold back, but miraculously, he did.

"GET OUT!" He roared, his eyes popping open and displaying the terrifying flames that raged in his crimson eyes. "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!"

The door opened then, and Ophelia stepped through the room with wary eyes.

"Lord Van? I heard shouting." She said, before spying Hitomi's shell-shocked face standing directly in front of the wall-length windows. The moon was raised high in the sky, and high above Htiomi's head, shining soft light on her. Even with half of her face in the shadows, it wasn't hard to see her parted mouth and the clenched fists of her hands. "Lady Hitomi?" Ophelia questioned, stepping further into the room.

"Then I'll leave." Hitomi said with a voice so soft it was almost silent. No one expected the pillar of light to drop on her, shining so bright it was almost blinding. And for what seemed like eternity, but was only a few quick seconds, Hitomi's vision doubled. In her mind's eye, she saw a dream that she had forgotten having not too long ago, and the reality of that vision now.

The wind was whipping her hair around, her short sandy locks slapping her cheeks almost in defiance. She felt light-weighted, hovering in the air as her clothes billowed around her. Her arm was stretched out, tense like a board. Every muscle in her body was stiff, straining to reach for the figure below her who she knew now was Van. From what she could gather from her limited vision, Van's arm was also outstretched and his fingers inches from her own.

There was something on her face, and without touching it she was able to recognize them as liquid tears splashing onto her cheeks. With a newfound awareness, Hitomi discovered that they did not spill from her own eyes, but from Van standing below her. The liquid seemed to evaporate into thin air, carried away to disappear into the distance, just like she was doing.

Below her, Van had stayed rooted in one spot, a complete contrast to her ever-fading body. He began to come into focus. She could pick out his muscled figure, skin bronzed to show years of hardship. Van was covered in clothes of bright red, beige, and brown. His obsidian hair was wild, untameable and if he were not looking up, she was certain his crimson eyes would be shadowed.

The wind whipped faster around her body, and she slowly felt her figure rise higher into the air. The tears that were not her own began to blur her vision again, and as she climbed upwards into the clouds, Van eventually faded out of her sight completely as she travelled up and out of Gaea.

...

"No, no, no, this is all wrong!" Yukari exclaimed, shaking the beautiful dress with tight fists as she glared at the seamstress. "I wanted the gem in the middle to be emerald green! Better yet, make it peridot! Hitomi's eyes look more like peridot's to me anyways. And emerald green is so overused." The young woman commented thoughtfully as the rest of her bridesmaids stood uncertainly behind her.

"Um, Yukari-chan?" One spoke up, clad in her bridesmaid gown. "I don't think Hitomi-chan is going to come." The bride froze in the middle of fiddling with the dress, her eyes shadowed because they were dropped down. It had been months since her best friend had run off a cliff, and a burst of light had blinded her eyes. Hitomi's mother had thought it was the sun in her eyes and wept with grief, but Yukari knew better. She knew where Hitomi had gone, and it wasn't the place in the ground or the sky. She knew it when the search party had claimed they weren't able to find her body, but most of all Yukari knew it in her heart. How?

Hitomi promised to be the Maid of Honour at her wedding. Hitomi never broke her promises.

A bright flash of light had blinded her vision again, and Yukari stumbled back, her hand shielding her eyes. When the bride looked around, she noticed none of the other bridesmaids were affected by it because their backs were turned, and a weird instinct she had in the pit of her stomach rose up. Looking up, Yukari was struck speechless as she held the Maid of Honour dress limply in her manicured hands.

"Hitomi?" She asked breathlessly, unable to believe her eyes. The other woman was standing there in the most beautiful dress, her hands clutched together at her chest as she stared wide-eyed into nothing. Yukari threw the dress aside, rushing forward to grab Hitomi's shoulders in an attempt to get her to focus. By now, all of the other women had noticed her presence, gasps resonating through the room. "How did she get here?" was the question flittering through all their heads.

"He didn't smile at me…" She said to herself. Regardless of whom it was directed to, though, everyone in the room heard it. They were all confused, and many of the girls wanted to gather together and speculate (gossip) about what Hitomi had meant by that. But everyone seemed to realize that she wasn't done speaking, and waited with bated breath for her next words. "Not like last time… never again like last time."

Yukari didn't know what to do as Hitomi crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly as the ice in her heart finally melted, spilling up and over her peridot green eyes. Clenched in her shaking hands was the gold chain of her grandmother's necklace, the pendant shining its beautiful carmine pink through the room. It swayed to the rhythm of Hitomi's weeping; glowing faintly as if losing its connection to the planet called Gaea.

A/N AAnnd the next chapter is out!! Yesss!!! You can expect chapter 7 to come out next week, and chapter eight to come out the week after that (it includes the epilogue). Look forward to it please! And don't worry, all shall be explained in the next chapter. So wait it out until then!

Remember to read and review! If I get enough reviews, I might just post the next chapter earlier. (Wink wink)

Snowflake Flower