Months turned into years. For three decades did I fight William's breed to a standstill and pushed them back into the forests and caves. Yet my work became harder each year, as did my longing for death.

A small girl ran through the halls of the castle that was used as place of ruling by the vampire lord, Viktor of Moldavia. Before she halted before a particular slender and armoured female, her golden decorations of her ceremonial plating giving the indication she was in trouble. Quickly she spurted down a hallway, ignoring the sharp calling of the female that walked after her, displeased. She didn't recognize this place, what was this bad lighted place? Who were those men behind bars?

She stopped in front of a kid with a collar on him, looking at him curiously. He seemed to stare back at her with equal curiosity as well as surprise.

"Who are you?"

Before the boy could respond another voice cut through the hall and he lowered his head slightly.

"Lucien... I see you've met princess Sonja."

I walked down the steps of the dungeon whilst receiving respected looks from the lycans down here. They had no idea what true slavery was.

"Commander." Lucien nodded and I offered a small smile.

"At ease Lucien, I was just here to collect lady Sonja." I gave a disapproving glance at the small girl who seemed captivated by the young boy behind bars. Taking the young princess by the hand I gently tried to nudge her away.

"Sonja... Dawn is coming."

The small girl looked up at me, her stepmother and frowned. "I want to stay." She said with an air of finality. I sighed and shook my head exasperated.

"My lady... Have my lessons about the sun gone to waste?" I raised an eyebrow at the small girl. A small streak of sunlight was already falling across her plate armour. The girl shivered and looked at Lucien remorsefully.

"Come, you can visit him outside of his cell tomorrow night." I offered to which Sonja looked hopeful as she walked with me. I had to suppress my emotions around her constantly. It would do no good for her to ask Viktor about it and unintentionally get me into trouble. When I dressed Sonja in her sleeping gown and put her to bed she suddenly asked out of the blue;

"Why are you always sad?" I was shocked, how did she see so clearly through me? My entire body shook as fear began to worm its way through my throat. I swallowed and just looked at Sonja sternly.

"Who told you that?" I asked sharper then I meant it and Sonja shrunk back.

"Sorry! I- I thought that you needed a hug." She cried, gods, how much guilt wretched my undead heart each time she cried. It was unbearable to see her sad. I pulled her into a hug and fought my own emotions down. I had to lead by example or the council would destroy her.

She sobbed until she fell asleep in my arms. It was time to go to my own little guard 'duty' as I called it. I was the only vampire awake at sunrise, and powerful enough the briefly endure it. Walking through the prison I found my favourite spot opposite of the quietest lycans and just sat down, not bothering to be an authority figure. The lycans that were older already knew of my fragile mental state, but the newer...

Always surprised faces as I just slumped down on the bench, my back hunched, elbows on my knees as my face contorted into grief, silently letting tears flow down my face. But it was never enough, no, I always wanted someone to jut notice my feelings, to come up to me and comfort me. But I knew there was never going to be anyone since Markus.

Markus. He took his sleep almost two hundred years now. And after Williams capture he never wanted to see me again. But I already knew that was going to happen when I cried myself to sleep that night, utterly broken, wishing for the so many times I was just mortal. But my wish never came true.

When Viktor came with the idea of the chain after the next disagreement with the four of us Markus had the audacity to look me in the eye and said he agreed fully. But me, naturally, I would never sleep. Whilst they could rest and ease their minds I was already slipping from depression to insanity.

Those thoughts went through my head each day. I was bitter, utterly spent and the only thing that I ever lived for was Sonja.

Sonja, the most stubborn but also the sweetest child I ever saw in my life... The only child I would ever see in my life. Seeing her grow up and having to put masks on to hide herself made me sick. What made me sicker is that I encouraged her to do so for her own sake. I was destroying her in my eyes.

"Mom?"

I looked up from my desk and filling in report to see a twelve year old Sonja standing there, her hair flowing freely down her shoulders. I smiled and beaconed her closer.

"Yes, Sonja?"

She fidgeted a moment before she blurted out; "What is love?"

It caught me by surprise and I had no answer for the young girl that I could fabricate in such a small window so I said the thing I loathed to admit.

"I don't know, Sonja, I've never been loved." Was my dead panned reply. I hoped honestly she wouldn't press the matter and continue to change the topic to who did know, but alas.

"Doesn't daddy love you, mom?" Sonja asked innocently to which I stammered.

"I... I never saw I if he did." I tried to give my voice an air of finality, to give her the hint the conversation was over, but she either didn't notice or ignored it.

"Maybe you should ask-"

"Sonja please! Please just... Just stop!" I was on the verge of breaking point, brought there courtesy of Sonja's innocence and my conscious blaming me guiltily for slowly destroying it and turning her into a cold vampire.

Sonja seemed shocked. "I'm. s- sorry."

With that she ran off, probably to her father. I slumped back into my chair, I learned long ago she wasn't going to come back by simply calling her back.

I was down in the slave den, making my round as I heard the commotion of footsteps.

"Where is she?!" I sighed and turned to face a raging Viktor with Sonja behind him. Betrayal drilled its way into my mind as looked at Sonja. I wordlessly looked at her, my own stare conveying only one message.

'You should have known better.'

Before I looked back at my lord. Father was a tittle I had to stop using since raising Sonja.

"My lord?" I simply asked, already knowing the entire decline of this conversation, predictable as it was. However Viktor seemed to keep himself composed as his daughter was present.

"My daughter came to me, crying. Telling a tale of asking you about love." The rest of his sentence was said mentally, reminding me he didn't need his hands or feet to make me writhe on the floor, crying in pain.

'What have you to say about this?'

I simply stood there, calmly accepting my fate as I responded with; "I have no excuse, I told her the truth."

It was almost comical to watch him keep himself restrained in favour or portraying a loving father rather then the brutal warlord I knew was the major part of him. He stalked off but Sonja stayed in favour of curiously asking the 'men behind bars' curious questions. I just slumped back down onto my usual seating place and waited for her to come to me, wishing to see Lucien, though I was mildly surprised to hear one of her questions.

"Why is Amilia always down here?" She asked curiously, it was one thing I never told Sonja, hell I hardly told Sonja of myself even though she always asked about it. The lycan man smirked slightly.

"Because she is a caring person." Was his simple response as he respected my privacy enough to say no more. I sighed in relief as she went on to ask about different things. She then asked to see Lucien, which I consented with.

When she stopped showing her sweeter side after meeting Lucien with my consent I thought I had done something wrong. What had I done? I asked her this so many times, but each time she had the audacity to send me away. She was just eighteen and already commanding her older step'mother' around. How like our family to take advantage of one's weaknesses.

As she grew more into her teens I always avoided her. Hell, when I received no orders I was always down in the slave den, talking to the lycans. They half understood me, only half. They didn't have to pretend anything. I had made Sonja distance herself from me. Father, you must've been proud of her then.

1202 A.D.

"Commander Amilia, I trust the nobles have arrived safely?"

Princess Sonja's voice was as chilling as her eyes, staring at me. I nodded with my head bowed, never looking her in the eye. Even though I was supposed to be her elder, things changed so fast I didn't even know they were occurring until Sonja was officially declared higher ranking then me. But I understood. I was a writhing flower and it was Sonja's turn to shine as the brightest star.

"Yes, Princess, they have arrived safely to the letter."

"Good, dismissed."

I bowed and left as ordered, planning to spend the rest of the night in Lucien's forge, I somehow felt safer with him. As if I could be truthful and it would be in trusted hands. I walked passed the guards and between the buildings, eventually knocking on the door of a forge near the walls. Lucien opened the door, his well muscled bare chested features almost enticing me would I not be in the state that I recently always seemed to be in.

"Commander."

"Lucien... Can I come in?" I asked politely. To which his face never failed to show surprise. He wordlessly sidestepped for me to enter, I walked in and looked at the various weapons he had made. It was a welcome reprieve to talk with him about anything. To just show my feelings to someone who listened. It likely extended the time bomb a little before it was finally snapping. It was a normal night just like any as I walked in, but I felt like I was falling apart from the inside.

As I walked the familiar route I started to walk faster and faster as something began to crumble inside of me, I felt something snapping inside of me, like an elastic band stretched too far and it snapped in the middle. I didn't bother to knock as I shoved the door open with my trembling hands and shoved it closed before collapsing in a heap on the floor, crying.

"Commander?! Amilia?!" He addressed me b name, was he not in love with another as I noticed he was, I would've given a lot to feel that feeling of 'love'... I cried on his shoulder as I broke down.

"I.. I can't take this anymore! I want out! I want something to kill me! I want to give Sonja a different life.. I.. I.. Damn him!"

I cried on his shoulder and I am ashamed to admit, I told him I would've loved him if I could have. I told him of my daily life and what I actually felt, I told him so much I never told anyone... I just couldn't stop the waterfall of collapsing masks and fake identities. It was just impossible.