Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put everyone in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's gotta be. Thanks so very much for reading and have an awesome New Year! Merry Christmas everyone!

Nemu's PBJ Party

Students of the Academy scattered like rats as they moved out of the way, giving the captain and vice captain of the eleventh division as wide a berth as possible. Not even those who hoped to one day join that division dared to approach, the malicious aura of the two soul reapers enough to have even them shuddering in fear. Lieutenant Kusajishi was smiling, but it was such a feral smile that it reminded a number of people of how they'd always felt seeing former Captain Ichimaru look at them. Captain Zaraki looked normal, well as normal as he ever looked, but he was giving off a vibe that said he was feeling just as dangerous as his small vice captain. Scurrying like a fleeing rat in front of them was one of the Academy's instructors, who kept glancing nervously over his shoulder, paling even more every time he did so, so that by the time they reached their destination he was paler than Captain Ukitake's hair. This destination was one of the training rooms, the hard wood floors echoing their footsteps along with the sounds of students practicing hand to hand combat. Here they were told to wait, and the instructor rushed off to go find the two students they'd requested to see. Nobody spoke or looked in the direction of the heads of the eleventh division, all afraid that they might suddenly end up as "volunteers" for a demonstration. They all wanted to live to become Soul Reapers after all. Finally the instructor reappeared, two students trailing nervously behind them. They went dead white when they found themselves staring up at the much feared eleventh division head, who sent their instructor away so that they were left alone to face what was coming.

"Hello there, Ishiya kun, Maysa kun." Yachiru jumped off of her captain's shoulder, landing neatly on her feet to look up at her victims. "My friends, Lieutenants Kyoraku and Kurotsuchi, tell me that you're interested in joining the eleventh division. As you've probably heard, we're very selective about who we let come into our division, seeing as how we tend to be rougher then the others. The weak don't survive long with us you see." Smiling her feral smile Yachiru watched the morons realize their impending demise with unholy glee. "As a favor to them, we've come to let you guys..audition of our division."

Adding his own feral look, just for show, Zaraki gave them a curt nod of acknowledgment. "Since you're only students, I'll be leaving the fight to my lieutenant. If you both last more then a minute against her without screaming for your mamas, we might even consider letting you off lightly. And by that I mean alive."

"Hasta la vista, baby." And then she pounced.

In the ensuing three minutes it took for her to dissemble the two men, the screams that were heard from within the room would continue to have students waking up in a cold sweat, wishing for their mothers with every fiber of their being. They had been the screams of someone in so much pain that if they'd had some way of killing themselves they would have, if only to escape the agony being inflicted upon them with merciless cruelty. Many would thank God they'd had the sense to run from the room, many would regret till their dying day that they'd remained behind to watch. None would ever join the eleventh division.

Walking down the street with a skip to her stride Nemu continued to search the buildings around her, looking for a grocery store of some sort that might have what she was looking for. It was her day off and she didn't have to be anywhere until one o'clock, when she was supposed to meet Captain Kyoraku and Nanao san for lunch. She'd been searching all over for an hour now and she was about ready to give up and try again another time, when she had a better idea where to look. She'd have to think of something else to bring for lunch though, and she'd already bought the jelly. Frowning slightly Nemu looked down at the grocery bag in her left hand, containing the two other main ingredients for their lunch. All she needed was the peanut butter, but no one seemed to carry it. She'd tried to making it the night before, by smashing nuts and adding it to butter, but it had tasted just awful and had looked nothing like the picture in her book. No, it had to be store bought and so far everyone she'd tried hadn't had any available to buy.

"Something wrong, Lieutenant Kurotsuchi?"

Turning her head Nemu shook her head at her fellow lieutenant's question. "Hello, Lieutenant Izuru, Captain Hisagi. I'm just trying to find something, and no ones seems to have it."

"What are you looking for?" Captain Hisagi asked, noticing the shopping bag in her hand.

"Peanut butter. Apparently it's considered standard practice in North America to feed children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I've never had one before, so I thought I should investigate the food and see what it tasted like. I have the bread and four different kinds of jelly, I just can't find the peanut butter anywhere."

"Peanuts and jelly?" Sounded like a disgusting combination, Captain Hisagi thought.

It didn't sound that appetizing to Kira either but he wanted to help, since it seemed important to Nemu san. "Well there's a store a couple blocks from here that might have it. Would you like me to show you the way?"

"It wouldn't be too much trouble for you?"

"Just follow me."

Luckily the store miraculously had it, in both crunchy and in smooth. Apparently it wasn't that popular an item there either, but the owner had a fondness for it and so kept a few jars around just in case. Buying two jars of the smooth, Nemu thanked the owner and headed out once again with a smile on her face. As a reward for their help Nemu offered Captain Hisagi and Lieutenant Izuru each a sandwich, which they agreed to out of curiosity and because she seemed eager to share. Flashing themselves over to the small garden area where Nemu was supposed to meet her division heads in a half an hour, they set out the bough items on one of the picnic tables and began construction of four sandwiches, one with each of the kinds of jellies. Smart girl that she was, Nemu had bought some plastic cutlery and plates as well, and soon had four lovely looking sandwiches, neatly cut into fours, ready to go. Giving each of the guys a plate with one forth of each of the sandwiches, they all sat and after studying the squares wearily each picked one up and bit in.

"It's good!" Surprised Captain Hisagi took another bite, understanding now why parents everywhere chose to give their kids something like this to eat.

Picking up the one made with strawberry jam Kira tried that one as well, finding it even better then the raspberry one he'd first tried. "A very good combination."

Nemu had to agree. "Much better then the peanut butter I tried to make."

"So when are Captain Kyoraku and Lieutenant Kyoraku coming?" Hisagi asked, wondering how many more squares he could talk her into giving him before her fellow vice captain showed up and shooed them off.

"They're coming as soon as they finish their meeting with Captain Unohana." Watching Captain Hisagi wolf down his last square then eye the remaining four pieces hungrily Nemu smiled and reached for the bag of bread. "Would you all like some more?"

"Yes please!"

"Well from the looks of things I think you've got about four more weeks before the big day." The captain of the forth division announced, putting aside her clip board where she'd been recording information. "The baby looks healthy and so long as you continue to let Lieutenant Kurotsuchi do most of the work, I see no problems. Just remember to get lots of sleep and take your vitamins."

"She will."

Rolling her eyes at her husband Nanao wondered how he thought he could talk her into anything when he'd never succeeded in making her ever do anything she wasn't willing to do in the first place. "Is that everything then, Captain Unohana?"

"Yes, that's all for now. You take care now."

"Thank you very much." Helping Nanao to her feet Shunsui grinned like the proud papa he was.

"Have a good day. Captain Unohana." Bowing her head slightly Nanao's head quickly whipped around when the doors nearby came crashing open. What was coming through was blocked by her husband unfortunately, who had immediately put himself between her and whatever was making all that noise. Peeking around him Nanao's eyebrow raised as she watched several members of the forth division hurry in carrying a very large stretcher. On the stretcher appeared to be what was once two human beings, their bodies twisted and broken in weird ways that made it hard to tell where one body began and the other started. At least she was pretty sure there were only two heads, it was hard to tell, since they were so bloated and bloodied as to be hardly recognizable as heads at all.

"Oh dear." Getting to her feet Captain Unohana's usually calm and collected face had a look of faint surprise. "What happened?"

"We had a little accident." Came Yachiru's cheerful voice as she came in on her captain's shoulder, not looking in the least contrite. "We were training and Ishiya kun and Maysa kun got a little banged up."

"I'll say." Whistling under his breath Shunsui had to admit that Nanao certainly had definitely known what she was doing when she unleashed the fury that was Yachiru chan on the sons of bitches who'd been trash talking his lieutenants.

While everyone in the forth division crowded around to get a look at the two morons their captain and senior ranking seats were trying to disentangle, Nanao slipped over to thank Yachiru chan. Coming up beside them Nanao smiled up at her friend. "Your latest creation is stunning, Yachiru san."

"I think it's definitely my best work yet." Yachiru agreed with a wink. "I'm calling it, "Perversion of the Male Mind". It's got a nice ring to it huh?"

"Quite."

Coming over to slip an arm around his wife's waist Shunsui gave Yachiru an appreciative look. "Your wrath is a thing to behold, Yachiru chan."

While his vice captain grinned in pleasure Captain Zaraki met his fellow captain's gaze. "The General's waiting out front for you two."

"Then I guess we better not keep the Old Man waiting. Thanks again, you two." Leaving the heads of the eleventh division to admire their handiwork the heads of the eighth division headed out to find out what the general wanted and how it involved their Nemu chan.

While they walked towards the center of the city the General explained the latest mischief Captain Kurotsuchi was bent on causing. Apparently the twelfth division captain was seeking to force Nemu to give up his last name, as she'd not only been disowned from his family but because it was also the name that would be given to his new lieutenant. Apparently Captain Kurotsuchi thought it would get too confusing, if there were two Lieutenant Kurotsuchis running around. That was why he'd thought to present it at the captains' meeting, because he felt that he could gain some support by arguing that the name change was necessary for the sake of safety and paperwork. The General knew it was bullshit though, and had put the meeting on standby so that he could give his favorite Captain a heads up. Shunsui could kill the slimy bastard easily enough, and he didn't want to have to incarcerate his former student for it, however deserving Kurotsuchi would be. Better to tell him now and give him a chance to get his ranting out of his system.

And rant he did. The words that came out of the eighth division's mouth to describe Captain Kurotsuchi had his wife blushing and his former teacher raising an eyebrow. Who knew Shunsui could be so descriptive? And violent.

Since he was saying everything she was too well bred to say Nanao channeled her rage into a deadly cold calm as her brilliant mind raced, considering the possibilities while her husband tried to beat the world record for the most four letter words said in less then ten minutes.

When Shunsui did wind down enough to stop his tirade it was to glare in the direction of his former teacher. "You aren't going to let him get away with this, are you?"

"I won't force Lieutenant Kurotsuchi to change her name, if that's what you mean. However, I think it would be wisest to ask Lieutenant Kurotsuchi what she wants to do? Even if I and the rest of the other captain's show our disapproval over this, that will not stop him. He'll make it clear to her that he does not wish her to carry his name, and will she want it, if he wishes to take it from her?"

Since he had no idea how Nemu chan would feel about it Shunsui looked down at his wife questioningly.

"I don't know how she'll react. Women in general expect to lose their last name eventually, but I doubt Nemu san ever had that mindset since marriage was never a possibility when she was under Captain Kurotsuchi's control." Still considering the angle Nanao was pretty sure there was nothing they could do without talking to Nemu first. "I think when we meet her for lunch we need to tell her. Like the General said, the other captains will not support him and it will come down to whether or not Nemu san is willing to bend to his demands. What's important is that we don't let him see how this has effected any of us. He has to realize that this will get him nowhere so he must be doing it for sport. He wants to hurt us for taking in Nemu, it's unlikely he didn't know how you'd react and was hoping that you'd attempt to cause him harm, something he could see you punished for without having to do it himself. He likes to play games like that."

No arguments there. Had the son of a bitch been around at that moment, Shunsui would have gladly beaten the sniveling little punk to a bloody pulp. Brains was the only thing that bastard did have. "So we should act like his request is of little importance and then leave it up to Nemu chan to decide what to do?"

"Exactly."

"Where is Lieutenant Kurotsuchi?" Captain Yamamoto asked, pleased to see that his eighth division captain was in control enough to actually consider what they were saying. "He might have realized what I intended to do and decided to seek her out beforehand."

Checking her pocket watch Nanao saw that it was twenty to one. "She should be waiting for us in the courtyard, with our lunch."

"Then lets head there and see."

All three flashing out they arrived at the courtyard, almost to be run over by two unknown division members, who were running towards a large crowd with several grocery bags in their hands. Shunsui and Nanao looking around for Nemu chan, their gaze kept returning to the large crowd, which was too thick for them to tell if their charge might be in there or not. Approaching the group Shunsui used his superior height to look over the shoulders of the others, raising an eyebrow when he saw several picnic tables joined together and littered with jars of jelly and another brown substance, as well as loaves of bread and cans of drinks. Sitting in at the central table was his lieutenant, busy making what appeared to be a sandwich of some sort involving several different jars. In fact, there seemed to be an assembly line going on with Nemu chan, Kira kun, Isane chan, and two others he didn't recognized putting the sandwiches together for the consumption of the crowd.

Lifting her head up Nemu spotted her captain at the back of the crowd, returning his wave with a small smile of greeting. Gathering together two of the plates with sandwiches piled on them Nemu got up from her seat and letting Captain Hisagi take over for her weaved her way out of the crowd. Reaching him Nemu held out one of the plates to him. "Here's lunch. Where's Nanao san?"

"Right here." Taking the plate her fellow lieutenant handed her Nanao looked around the crowd questioningly. "What's with the crowd?"

"We're having a PBJ Party." Nemu explained with a slight shrug of her shoulder. "Captain Hisagi san and Lieutenant Izuru san were eating sandwiches with me and then people start to come over and see what we were eating and before long all my jellies and peanut butter were gone. Then some of the people went and got more and then even more people came. It would appear that the sandwich is as popular as I was led to believe."

"It's good." Shunsui said between bites, having eaten three of his slices already.

Eating one of her triangles Nanao had to agree. "It does have a unique taste. You said there's peanut butter and jelly in this?"

"Yes. So far everyone agrees that the sandwiches made with the preserves Isane san brought are the best. She went home and grabbed some of the jellies her mother made for her. The mixed berries is the best, I think."

"It is." Captain Soifon agreed, coming over to greet the members of the eighth division and the Commander General who stood quietly in the back ground. "I already told her I want to buy some from her."

"Captain Soifon." Nanao said softly and when the captain turned to give her a questioning look Nanao rubbed just under her own lip, where on Soifon's face there was just a hint of jelly.

Reddening slightly Soifon quickly brushed it aside. "Thanks."

"No problem."