The Crossroads Betwixt Life and Death
Chapter 6: ...Who's Not Alone? (Danny's P.Ø.V)
Everything was dark. I couldn't see anything…not the explosion…not my family…not my friends…or even Vlad…there was just…nothing.
It was creeping me out.
Usually in my dreams I would see the explosion…again and again and again until I couldn't take anymore and I screamed and woke up. This time I was screaming but I wasn't waking up. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for help…for anyone to help me…but no one came. I was alone in the dark.
I wasn't afraid of the dark…even when I was little I had never been scared of the dark…I had always associated the dark with outer space so it had made me want to explore it instead of running away like most kids did. I actually quite liked the dark, I wasn't scared of it. I was scared of being alone in the dark like this. There's a difference, believe me.
It felt like there was something in the shadows that was coming closer…and closer…and closer…
…I tried to run but I couldn't move…I tried to fight but I my arms were frozen by my sides…and now I couldn't even scream, my lungs ached and my heart was beating faster and faster until I couldn't even breathe properly. My chest felt like it was on fire…and although it was a change from the ice cold I had been feeling lately I did not want to be burnt or frozen alive. Both were horrible ways to die.
…but being blown up wasn't much better either…
Why wasn't anyone coming to help me? Why was I alone in the dark with no one nearby?
I had to wake up.
I tried to wake up.
But how?
How could I make this nightmare go away? I took a deep breath and screamed as loudly as I could. But it didn't change anything.
The shadows seemed to curl around my right arm now, like a snake; it coiled around my neck and shoulder, creeping onto my bicep and past my elbow, down my forearm and onto my fingers. I shivered and tried to break free. But it was too strong. It wouldn't let me go…I was trapped.
I cried out again as I felt my whole right side go numb as the shadows creeped over to work on my left side…I was disappearing and there was nothing I could do about it.
I should just give up…
I had nothing to live for anyway…
I felt myself fade away as I closed my eyes…
…I wonder if you died for real if you died in a dream…
I'd never actually died in a dream before, 'cos I had never given up before…but now I…I couldn't give up…could I?
As I heard a deep snigger come from the shadows my mind was made up. I was not monster food, even in my own dreams! I tried to change into my ghost half and break free since I couldn't wake up. I felt my temperature drop several degrees as I let out my ghostly wail.
I'd never had a dream like this before and it was seriously freaking me out! But as I screamed once more the darkness went away and I was able to open my eyes. My whole body ached, like I had been attacked for real but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I turned my head and looked around the room.
It was the same room I had woken up in earlier, so it was clear that Vlad hadn't thrown me out yet…but I didn't get why. I had no idea what was happening? Was I really losing it? Had I seriously almost given up in my own dream? Oh, man!
I pushed myself up so that I was sitting against the headboard and glanced down to look for the clock…5.30pm. How long had I been asleep? When exactly had I woken up earlier? What had happened?
I tried to remember but everything was still a little blurry…huh…I could remember where the clock was in a room I had only slept in like twice but I couldn't remember what had happened this morning? Weird or what?
Wait…I remembered…I had tried to run…and I had failed epically! And Vlad…he had…he had saved me from becoming a smushed-up pile of ecto-goop on the ground. The dude was seriously confusing me.
He was my enemy, right?
He hated me, right?
Wrong! He'd just saved my life. He couldn't hate me if he just saved me; you didn't save people you hated. It made me wonder if I would have saved Vlad if it had been the other way around. I wasn't sure. He had caused a shit load of trouble for me in the past few years but did I really want him dead? Would I have let him die? I'd like to think I would have saved him. I'm supposed to be the hero not him. He's the villain in my life.
But he's the one who's saved me, he's the one who let me stay in his house…and I couldn't even save my own family…how messed up was that?
If he really was planning on getting rid of me why would he waste time saving me? Maybe he just didn't want a splattered ghost boy on his doorstep. I think a part of me wanted to believe that he had saved me 'cos he cared…I knew it was really far-fetched and way, way, way, way out there and all that…but it as weird as it was I kinda liked that idea. But I knew it wasn't real…it was just my stupid imagination messing with me. Like I wasn't messed up enough as it was!
That strange dream made me feel even worse, my limbs felt battered and bruised…or maybe that was just life.
So, I forced myself up off the bed and I stumbled into the bathroom and over to answer the call of nature. I then walked over to the sink and looked into the mirror above the shiny sink. I sighed as I saw how worn-out I was and washed my hands, my eyes were only half open and I had tired shadows under them. I was a mess. I splashed the cold water on my face; it helped to wake me up.
I walked back into the bedroom and sat back on the bed, what was I supposed to do now? I could leave…but where would I go? I had nothing…I sniffed as I held back the tears again. I would not cry.
Then I jumped slightly as I heard quiet music, my enhanced ghostly gave me perfect vision and a heightened sense of smell as well as amazing hearing. I had gotten used to having them so I doubted I would be able to cope without them now, I'd forgotten what it was like to have average senses. It was piano music…it was a sad sound that made me want to cry again.
But it was beautiful…I was no expert when it came to music but even I could tell it was not expertly played. Then after a minute or two of listening it became perfect and I actually did cry, not full on water works but I still cried. It really didn't take much to set me off lately.
I didn't want to try walking through the house to find the source of the music, so without going ghost I flew invisibly through the walls and ceilings and listened carefully.
Once it got louder I was sure that I had found it. I was floating in front of a huge set of double doors, they looked ancient and they were carved identically. The beautiful yet sad music continued and I floated through the door…and stopped dead.
…Vlad was playing the music…as in actually sitting at a piano and playing it…
I wished I could come up with a sarcastic remark, I really did, I wished I could insult him and say it was rubbish. But I couldn't…he had saved my life…and he wasn't a bad musician…I'd never really cared for this kind of music but I could still appreciate it…it helped my forget my troubles.
I leaned back against the doors and dropped my invisibility without meaning to; I was just concentrating on the music. When I used music to distract me after a bad day it was usually really loud heavy metal or rock music that blasted my ears and made me think about that pain instead of anything else.
Like a lot of kids Jazz had taken a few piano lessons when we were younger…but as soon as she had discovered the 'joys' of the library her music lessons had taken a back seat. I had never really bothered. I agreed that it was a beautiful instrument but I didn't have the time to learn how to play it now that I could actually appreciate it. My spare time was spent catching up on my sleep after hunting ghosts.
"Good afternoon, Daniel," Vlad said suddenly and I nearly jumped out of my skin. As my thoughts drifted away I noticed that the music had stopped and that Vlad was looking straight at me. I couldn't think of anything to say; months of perfecting my witty banter had failed me and I could only stare back at him, "Daniel, I…"
"Why'd you come after me?" I asked and I think I threw him for a loop, 'cos he frowned at me. I really wanted to know. Why had he come after me in the snow? Why had he saved me from going 'splat' earlier? He was confusing me and everything I thought I knew about him, and I didn't like it. "Vlad, I said why'd…" I said ready to repeat myself but he was having none of it.
"I heard you," he sighed, "If I tell you, will you promise me that this time you will let me speak before planning another grand escape?" I didn't like this deal. I wanted to run again. But I kept my word…so I would listen to him first, once he told me what was going through his crazed-up mind…then I would escape…right?
"Fine," I muttered after my legs began hurting again and I was forced to sit down…I didn't like the fact that I was so weak. But what else could I do? He already knew I was weak, and I had nothing left to be strong for anyway.
"Excellent," Vlad smiled and stood up from his seat, "but perhaps you'd like something more comfortable to sit on besides the floor," he said.
"I'm fine here," I muttered. I wasn't really. The door was digging in my back and my legs ached from sitting on the floor like this but I wasn't going to admit it.
"Really?" Vlad smirked and raised an eyebrow at me as I tried not to fidget, "Well excuse me if I don't believe you," he said and I scowled at him, why did he always see through everything? Was I really so bad at lying? I tried to move as close to the wall as possible and away from Vlad as he came slowly towards me.
Now I'd done it.
I was in serious trouble, I'd said something wrong and now he was gonna pound me for it. Oh, great! I shrunk away from him and tried to go ghost, but as soon as I did I was forced back…my failed escape attempt earlier must have cost me all my energy…uh-oh…
I blinked in confusion when he leaned down and picked me up bridal style. Wasn't he supposed to be attacking me? What the hell was going on? I didn't try and struggle…I was too confused. He walked over to a leather chair in front of a small fireplace and set me down carefully.
Huh. That was weird. Vlad was never careful round me. He never had a problem when it came to beating me up or electrocuting me and stuff. "Now, then," he began and made his way over to a really old-looking desk and sat on a chair behind it, "what is it you want to know? Why I came looking for you last night, or why I followed you this morning?" he asked.
I thought hard about that, "Both," I said and he rested his hands on the desk.
"It's really quite simple, Daniel…did you want to die?" he replied.
Since when did you answer a question with a question…what was that supposed to mean? Did I want to die? I didn't know; there were times when I thought I did…and they were becoming a regular part of my day. "…None o' your business…" I muttered and brought my knees up to my chin and leaned back in the chair.
"Well, I did not," Vlad said and narrowed his eyes at me, "As much as you may dislike me, or even hate me; I have never once wished you dead," at that I had to look up and I stared at him…who was this? This was not my enemy…this was not the man I had been fighting for 2 years. Was this some sort of a trap? And I concentrated on his voice as he spoke again, "What happened was tragic, but you cannot let it destroy you, you're strong enough to put it behind you and…"
"What?" I blinked, I think my voice was calm but I didn't feel it. I was bubbling with anger. How dare he suggest that I could put the deaths of my family and my friends behind me! What right did he have to say that?
"…move on," he finished and I exploded. I could never 'move on,' the idiot…the crazy fruit-loop, I was so angry I couldn't even come up with insults to describe him!
I was beyond anger! My eyes were burning and I think they probably flashed bright green as my breathing increased. He just looked at me…and raised his eyebrow…that was getting really irritating. I lifted my hand and shot an ecto-blast at him. It was weak but it was all I could manage at the moment, despite the fiery adrenaline running through me.
Vlad, of course, lifted his hand and absorbed it harmlessly…that annoying jerk! Why did he have to be so powerful? He didn't say anything, and neither did I. All my confusion was thrown out the window as my anger took over…it had been sleeping for so long now…I had been only sad and depressed. Now the anger was back and it meant business. I was seeing red, literally, I was just so angry and nothing else mattered.
Not the hopelessness or the tears…not the nightmares or the tiredness…there was only anger and rage left. It wasn't me…I never usually got this angry…but I couldn't stop it and before I knew it I had somehow managed to go ghost and blast Vlad into the wall behind him.
With this anger I didn't feel my muscles ache or protest, I didn't feel my heart racing…or my mind telling me to stop…I couldn't listen to anything. It felt like my dream…I was being taken over by something and I was powerless to stop it.
It was horrible.
I watched Vlad just stare at me as I jumped from my seat with strength I didn't know I had and flew at him, I pushed him back and lifted him by the front of his shirt. I pushed against the wall and he let out a gasp as his back hit the hard surface. I was slightly surprised that he hadn't made an effort to fight yet but I was too far gone to question it. "What did you just say?" I asked, but I wasn't saying it. This wasn't like me. But pure anger is a horrible thing. It's like a disease…
"I knew you still had some fight left in you, Little Badger. I know you better than you think I do," he smiled a little but I wasn't able to focus. The anger was still there and I was pleading for someone…something…anyone to make it stop. I had never felt like this before, "And you are not weak, no child of Maddie's could ever be weak."
What was he saying? I had lost everything…of course I was weak!
…Maddie…he had said my mom's name…Maddie…she was dead and it was my fault…the anger started to fade and made way for depression. I loosened my grip on Vlad's shirt and backed away from him a little.
I breathed heavily as the anger went away…I could see clearly now and everything came back into focus. I was losing my mind! I felt myself change back and I lost my footing, I fell back onto the floor and lifted a hand to my head.
I never wanted to feel like that again…was that how Vlad felt when he hated my dad so much that he wanted to kill him? How could he live like that? It was pure anger and hate! I leaned back against what I assumed was the old desk he had sat at a minute ago and hugged my knees. I was a loose cannon and if he hadn't before, Vlad would definitely want me out of his hair now.
"I told you that you weren't weak," I heard Vlad say and I lifted my head to look at him; he sat in the chair I had violently vacated a second ago and crossed a leg over the other. I didn't really know what he meant so I just ignored it.
"Why'd you even care, it's not it's any o' your business?" I muttered and looked away as I tightened my arms a little.
"It is my business, Daniel; that is what I have been trying to tell you," He sighed and continued, "you have nowhere else to stay and I will soon be your legal guardian."
I turned my head back to stare at him so fast I probably should have got whiplash and I was speechless, "…huh…" Now I was really confused, I had no idea how that had happened…Vlad actually wanted me to stay…why? Did I want to stay? Where else did I have to go? Who else was left?
It was a strange day when the only person you had left was the person who you thought you hated. I thought I hated Vlad, I really did, I thought I would celebrate the day he left me alone for good. Then why was I so relieved…even happy that he had gone out of his way to look after me. I was so confused.
Was he just doing this so I would be his creepy little apprentice? Was that even a bad thing? I wanted to learn things, didn't I? I wanted to learn more about my ghost powers and Vlad was the only other person who knew anything about being half ghost. If he would teach me was that really so bad? He couldn't exactly ask me to renounce my dad anymore 'cos he was…not here anymore. So what would he want in return? Illegal stuff knowing Vlad…but who else would let me stay in their home like this?
"But I thought you…why would you…you want me to stay here…like…with…you?" I asked in my confusion. I didn't realised I'd spoken aloud until Vlad answered me a second later.
"Yes," Vlad replied simply and suddenly found his fingernails very interesting.
"Not with my aunt?" I frowned.
"No," he blinked.
"Not in foster care?" I asked.
"No," he repeated calmly.
Once again I didn't know what to say; I'd thought he was going to send me away, and now he had said he wasn't and I was…happy? How come? Why would he do that? "Why…?"
"Why not?" Vlad shrugged.
"Vlad…" I sighed and moved a little so that I was sitting on my legs a little and leaned on my hand.
"Honestly, Daniel, where else are you going to go? Are you really stubborn enough to think you are capable of living on your own, at your age, with your problems? No, you are in no state to be living alone. And I don't think you really want to live with your aunt or with people you don't know, am I right?"
He was right; I didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have anyone left on earth to care for me. But Vlad had always cared…I think…in some kind of crazy, warped, fruit-loopy kind of a way. Maybe not 'cared' in the sense that he didn't ever want me to get hurt, but 'cared' in the sense that he wanted me to be his slavish-son-thing so he didn't want me to die…He was fine with me getting hurt but he didn't want me to die. But I'd never thought he cared like this…enough to want to take me in like this.
"If you really hate me so much I'm sure we can work something out…" he began but I had to interrupt.
He thought I didn't want to stay…did I? No, I did, I couldn't deny it, but did I really hate him? I don't think so, "No…I don't…I mean…I don't hate you…" I said; I wasn't sure of much at the moment but I could be sure of that. He had helped me, he had done something to help me for a change…it couldn't make up for everything he had ever done to me…but it was a start…right?
He only stared at me and tilted his head, I was clearly not the only one confused at the moment. "Good," that was all he said. He did give me a strange look that I didn't understand but then it was gone as he stood up and walked over to an old wooden cabinet.
He took out a glass bottle and filled two tall, crystal glasses and walked back over to me. He then gave one to me which I took mindlessly and he went to sit back in the chair.
I stared down at the glass he had handed me and sniffed it; it didn't smell nice, like hot chocolate did, or even coffee. It smelt like really strong vinegar...ewww. "What the heck is this?" I asked him and he smiled, it looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh at me.
"Vintage red wine, Daniel, a favourite of mine," he replied, "Didn't your parents ever let you drink alcohol?" he asked and I frowned again as I shook my head. (*1)
No, I didn't even think they drank it themselves that often…if at all, they had always been busy with ghosts, and once more the memories just made me sad. "Try it, you might find that you like it," Vlad said and I got the impression he wanted me to stop thinking about them; I was grateful for the effort, he raised his glass to me a little then took a sip from it.
So I copied him and tasted it, and swallowed it. I regretted it as soon as I had, it really wasn't very nice…it was kind of…bitter? Why the heck did Vlad drink this stuff? "…Ugh…" I muttered and Vlad chucked into his glass as he drunk from it again. I scowled at him; was he seriously trying to poison me?
I put the glass down on the floor beside me and sighed, what was supposed to happen now? I had no idea, what were you supposed to do when you found out you were thankful to be staying with your arch-enemy because your family were gone? I don't suppose anyone would know really, it's not the most common thing…and how many people actually had arch-enemies, anyway?
"Why didn't you fight back?" I asked him to distract from the uncomfortable silence that was somehow sending shivers down my spine. He sighed and moved the glass from his mouth, now he looked uncomfortable.
"Because if I did I would have another funeral to pay for," he said with that same smug expression that he always had. I guess it was something that would never change about Vlad no matter what happened.
Wait…another funeral…to pay for? Did that mean he'd paid for their funerals? Why would he do that? I only stared at him as he finished the last of his wine and put down the glass, why would he do something so…nice? Vlad didn't do nice. Vlad and the word nice didn't even belong in the same sentence. It was like saying the sun was cold or the ice was hot, the two were incompatible ideas!
I didn't say anything to that. How could I? Vlad was messing with everything I thought I knew about villains and I wasn't happy about it. And Vladwas the villain…I think…he did bad things and that made him a villain…But I had done bad things too…I hadn't meant to, but I had…everyone had done bad things…right? Did that make me one too…did that make everyone a villain?
But I was the hero. I stopped the villains…I helped people…I…I…hadn't been much help to my family…my friends…Mr Lancer…
Everything was so confusing…I didn't know what was right or wrong…hero or villain…black or white…which was which? Was there something in between? Why was this happening to me? What had I done wrong?
I brought my knees back up to my chin and tried to move away from Vlad again. It was his fault…it was his fault that I didn't understand. It was his fault my head felt like it was going to explode.
I was so confused. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. Was it wrong?
I didn't know anymore.
"Daniel," I heard Vlad say and he put his hand on my shoulder as he tried to get me to look at him.
"No!" I screamed and forced his hand away, "Why're you doing this? Why're you messin' everything up? Why can't things just go back to normal?"
A quiet 'smash' brought me back to reality and I looked down…whoops…I had moved and somehow smashed the really expensive looking glass I had left on the floor. Suddenly as I came back from my confusing thoughts I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my left hand.
The wine had spilt and the glass had shattered…and a very pointy looking piece had chosen to dig itself in my hand, "…damn…" I muttered and brought my hand up to check the damage. I was so stupid!
But it wasn't so bad, I'd had worse…I mean really, I had been thrown throw whole windows…double glazed were, for obvious reasons, the worst. I'd had shards stuck in my back before now, and I'd had to duplicate just to get them out and stitch myself up…I probably could have asked Jazz for help…but it had been like the middle of the night and I hadn't wanted to worry her. I hated having glass stuck in my skin…but I just have really bad luck.
I tried gently to pull the shard out with my other hand but even though I'd had to do this like a zillion times before it still hurt like hell, "…oww…"
"You really can't make anything easy, can you?" Vlad sighed and I suddenly remembered that I was not alone in the room.
"…Not my fault…" I muttered, even though I knew full-well it was. He took his red handkerchief from his pocket and moved closer to me, shifting the broken glass away with his foot. I tried to turn away but he grabbed my wrist before I could move and I watched him frown at me…fruit-loop! I was the one with broken glass in my hand not him; what did he have to frown about? "…Ow…" I pulled my hand back as I felt the glass move.
"Hold still," Vlad ordered and slowly the glass came out, covered in red and green blood.(*2)
"…Ugh…" I watched as he placed the glass on the desk and wrapped the handkerchief round my hand. He then moved to carefully pick up the shards left on the floor and put them out of the way on the desk as well.
He didn't seem mad like I thought he would. I thought he'd go berserk, but he was just…not. He was helping me again…what gives? I sniffed just as Vlad finished with the broken glass and he looked at me again. Vlad pulled my arm towards him again and looked under the now stained fabric at the small cut.
"Fortunately for you we have accelerated healing and I don't think it was very deep, it'll stop bleeding soon. And I'm sure you've had worse," he smiled a little and wrapped it back up then stood up again.
"Yeah," I nodded; I don't think he'd been expecting an answer but I gave one anyway. He gave me a strange look before he pulled me up from the floor and lead me to a chair. "I'm sorry," I said quietly without making eye contact.
"What for?" he asked and I had to look up at that. What did he mean 'what for?' For some strange reason he was doing nothing but helping me and I was only causing trouble for him. He had a company worth like a gazillion dollars and he was the mayor, I was sure that he had better things to do than waste time looking after me.
I didn't answer him though, I couldn't, I think he knew what I meant though, I could never hide anything from Vlad no matter how hard I tried…the fruit-loop was like mind-reader. He sat down on the arm of the chair I was leaning back in and like earlier he put an arm round my shoulders.
I still didn't understand this side of Vlad, and it kind of scared me that he could act so horrible to me one minute and so…nice the next. Maybe it was wrong to look to my arch-enemy for comfort…but I had no one else left.
"...I'm never gonna see them again, am I?" I whispered and leaned into his side.
"No," was all Vlad said and I think I started crying again.
(*1) I absolutely love red wine and I had to put this in. Vlad is a suave, debonair business man and I think he's the type who would keep a decanter of wine in his study…I would! But I couldn't exactly write the word 'decanter' since I doubt Danny would call it that.
(*2) I think in the actual cartoon Danny bleeds red in human form and green in ghost form, but since they're hybrids I figure that their blood should be a mix of the two at any time, 'cos they're never just a ghost or a human, they're both all the time. So there ya go!
A.N. I'm really proud of this chapter, it's longer than I intended but I just couldn't stop writing. It's a real emotional roller-coaster for poor Danny. I think it was time that he started to question his heroes / villain's philosophy and Vlad offering to take Danny in like this, and acting…well, nice…would be the perfect trigger, I think.