A Moment
Then there is nothing. The facility is covered with dead bodies, and when they stumble outside there is nowhere to looks that doesn't include a corpse. The night air is cold, the first bite of the coming winter.
Shaw is gone.
Somewhere beneath the guilt and staggering relief, Charles wonders when everything had changed. Maybe the last twenty years was just life storing up all his luck for when he'd really need it.
"Should we go?" Sean looks at him, gesturing to the road.
"Where do we go?" Hank throws up his hands. "I say we wait here until the others get back."
There is nothing what Charles wants more than that, but Erik and Raven are still hours away and waiting here among the corpses and the fear that Shaw will return is sickening. "I suggest we walk out to the main road and wait there." Far enough away from the facility to confuse Shaw if the man realises his telepath is missing and decides qui pro quo and comes back for Charles but still on the road so the others will see them when they come back.
"And you?" Alex spins around to glare at Darwin. "What's our brave Dominant leader suggesting?"
"Enough." Darwin's look is enough to cow even Alex, although he still looks mutinous.
"We can't just stand here!" Sean looks close to panic. "There's dead bodies here!"
Charles pinches the bridge of his nose. Children. He brought children into this fight. A fight against Shaw. Mother of god, what could have happened-
He can still feel Erik reaching frantically through the bond, the feeling like hands inside his mind. He's gone. The effort of sending makes his head spin, he's gone, we're getting out. He doesn't know how much of that Erik gets, but he gets a rush of pure blood-hot relief like warm water, washing away the terror of the last few minutes.
"Come on, we'll wait for them at the turn off." Darwin starts walking down the road.
No one speaks. All lost in their own thoughts. Charles' telepathy's been worn down to vague whispers he can't make head or tails of. It's too much, too much in too short a time and he's collapsing in on himself after forty eight hours with only a few hours sleep.
A trace touch on the bond, Erik checking again and again that he's unhurt and safe. It vibrates like taut rope and Charles closes his eyes, shutting out the world to concentrate on how good it feels. With his telepathy down he can't even send images, but Charles believes Erik is trying to tell him they've landed. Not long now. It feels so good he wants to cry.
He's so tired this feels like a dream, the world narrowing down to the single point of the bond, everything disappearing in the darkest moments of the night. If he stops walking he'll fall over.
It's getting light when they reach the turn off to the facility, with the main road stretching away into the distance. It's so early no one is on the roads.
They collapse under the pine trees, on the nap of needles. The others instinctively cluster around him and Darwin, even Alex doesn't sit away, only shrugging off the arm Darwin tries to put around him. Charles hugs himself, the dawn chill is biting.
"When we get to the others, you are all going straight home." Breaking the silence is like shattering ice.
"Says who?" Darwin looks at him, much as he had looked at Alex. It seems like all Dominants have some variant on that look, it makes arguing with them feel like an uphill struggle. "Shaw killed everyone. He took Angel. You know he's dangerous."
"You have no idea." The headache is starting up again. "Shaw's insane, and I can't let anything like this happen again."
"And then? I go where then?" Alex demands.
"That was my work," Hank has run his fingers through his hair so often it's standing on end. "Shaw wouldn't have to work hard to track me down."
"And whatever Shaw's planning, I don't think it's something we can hide from." Darwin adds.
Sean doesn't say anything, but the stubborn set to his jaw speaks volumes. They're right, objectively, Charles can see that, but these people, these children, are going up against Shaw. Shaw of all creatures. Charles wants to explain, to tell them what a monster he is, but the words don't come. There aren't even words for that sort of thing.
"You got us here to stop Shaw." Sean's arms are crossed. "We're staying."
If Charles' telepathy was working properly, he would be sorely tempted to break every rule he'd imposed on himself and force them to go home. For their own good, because he is not going to see anyone else broken like he and Erik were, like Emma was, like Angel will be. He's already got that failure on his conscience.
Never again.
"What he's planning is bad, isn't it?" Darwin's voice is very soft. "We've got to help you. If we don't, and he wins, what do we do then?"
Charles says nothing. There's nothing to say. They might be children, but they are legally adults, and Alex is right, where would they go? Mutants are rare enough as it is, adult mutants even more, Shaw would never stop trying to find them.
"We'll have to train." They can barely control their powers, and though Charles' control is usually excellent, he's never been in a fight before. "All of us."
Darwin nods, slowly and deliberately, Alex grins. "Sure."
"We can't stay here." Hank looks appalled at the very idea. "Even if they reopen the department, it's not safe."
Where? Charles doesn't know. They sit in silence, watching the rising sun is painting the autumn trees gold. It'll be winter soon. It occurs to Charles that, barring something unspeakably horrible, he'll be spending this winter with Erik. It's the first time he's considered anything in the future beyond the next day. It's such a small thought, just a winter, but Charles has never wanted anything so badly. Isn't that something worth fighting for? For an evening of belonging, by a fire watching snow fall. Charles closest his eyes. And opens them. He knows where they can go.
"We're almost there."
Moira must have told them this a hundred times in the journey from the airfield. There isn't an answer this time either. Erik knows they are. It's the last stretch before they turn down the private road to the facility. He's spent the journey like this, cataloguing every turn, dividing every mile into yards and meters, every hour into minutes and seconds. It's been the only way to keep calm and not push the car into breaking every speed limit. They're going as fast as they can.
Raven is stonily silent as well. The only words they exchanged was when Erik told her that Shaw had gone. He'd barely believed the words himself. Logically it made sense, there was no way for Shaw to know about Charles, or for that matter about Emma in order to take revenge. But every time Erik has had anything to do with Shaw it has always been for the worst. He can't believe they could have got out of this unscathed.
"Here's the turn- what are they doing here?"
Erik looks, and grabs hold of the car's axles so hard a tire blows out. Raven and Moira are thrown back into their seats but by that time Erik is already out, the car door slamming open with a bang.
He's got time to take in a blurred image of the five tired, frightened young people under the trees and he doesn't know who moves first but suddenly Charles is in his arms. He's safe and here and Erik can feel the warmth of his body and the trembling of the bones under his skin and his sharp breathing in the hollows between their two bodies. He smells of fear and cordite and dear god Charles.
Somewhere is the far distance he's aware of Raven looking at them, checking Charles is alright before turning away. Erik presses his lips to Charles' hair, and hears of soft choked noise, somewhere between a sob and laughter.
"I'm here." He whispers. "I'm here. You're safe. I'm here. I'm so sorry." He'd failed utterly. "I'll never leave you again." How often had he said that? And he'd done it anyway. "Wherever I go, you go too. I'll protect you. I'll never leave you."
Thank you. Even Charles' thoughts sound exhausted. Please, I- His thoughts fracture, everything unclear, and Erik just clutches him tighter. There's a confused wave of fear and exhaustion and relief, there's tears, but Erik doesn't know if they're Charles' or his, there are flashes of images, so fast Erik can only catch a few of them- Cerebro, something of what Charles saw inside Emma Frost, the people of the facility dying, Shaw - oh god, Shaw – and Angel turning her back on them and leaving with him.
Please, I don't – can't please and Erik sees himself through Charles' eyes, himself as he had been in Russia, cold and distant and so sharp Charles didn't dare go near him. Please, I can't take this.
"No." No, I'm sorry, I'm here I will never do this again. I love you. In truth, Erik had frightened himself. Seeing Frost had been like a switch had been thrown in his mind, suddenly he was back on Shaw's yatch, alone and everything numb and cold and sharpened to a razor's edge. I will protect you. The words sound weak even in his own mind.
Not like that.
Erik is suddenly aware of everyone looking at them. He feels Charles' iron grip on his clothes slowly relax, and he turns to look over at the others.
"Are you alright?" He asks Raven.
Raven smiles, as though she hadn't gone through two first aid boxes worth of plasters. "I should be asking you that." She glances at Erik, a quick is he okay then?
Erik nods; the looks to where Moira is standing with the others. She's pinching the bridge of her nose. "The facility's gone, and thanks to Erik here the car's done for as well. Anyone got any bright ideas?"
"Yes." Charles rubs his eyes, dredging up energy from somewhere. "I have a-" pause, a flash of embarrassment that surprises Erik – "A family home. It should be large enough for all of us, although no one's lived there for a while."
Raven looks at Charles, "Are you sure?"
Charles frowns. "Yes Raven, I'm sure."
"Last I remember you were swearing never to go back there and threw the keys overboard when the ship was halfway to England."
Erik runs a hand up Charles' arm to his neck, when he touches the collar it warms and trembles slightly against his skin. He has a few of Charles' memories of that place. A dark and gloomy mansion, all dark corners and cobwebs – his stepfather sacked all the servants after Charles' mother died – a depressing place which quickly became unbearable after – Erik breaks that train of thought. Not now.
Charles leans against him, smiling a little. "It's different now."
They end up in a hotel for the night. It's a five hour drive to Westchester, and it'll have to be in the army truck, which is the only vehicle which can carry them all, even after they changed the car's ruined tire.
Charles has to be woken when they arrive. He'd curled up against Erik, buried his face in his Dominant's coat, and fallen asleep almost immediately. He wakes to Erik's hand in his hair, and the warm metal smell he's already come to associate with being safe and loved. He smiles up at Erik, and is helped out of the car and into the room that's been booked for them.
Charles stumbles, still dizzy with sleep, and when Erik holds him up, Charles uses that moment to snatch a kiss. Erik's lips are dry against his, his hand comes up and pushes Charles closer, kissing back so hard it's just this edge of painful. Mine. It's almost desperate. Charles can feel his mind rushing through plans, trying to find one that would allow him to keep Charles safe, always and forever.
Charles almost wishes he'd let Erik take him and Raven away. Somewhere, anywhere else. Somewhere safe from Shaw and that cold, hard, alien part of Erik. Somewhere they could hide and live and sleep and love and watch the snows of winter come and leave to summer, over and over until they grow old and the world outside is just a forgotten memory.
Erik's fingers card through his hair again, nails scraping along his scalp. He's kissed again, more gently, Erik's tongue licking over sore lips. Say it, just say it and we will leave and never return. We'll take the others if they'll come, and Raven. I know places, we can hide.
They both think it, just as they both know it's useless. They know Shaw's plans. Charles looks away and Erik touches his cheek, turning his head. "Show me."
There's a lot, and Charles doesn't even want to think about most of it. He closes his eyes and opens his mind, throwing all the doors wide and drawing Erik in, his breath shakes and he leans forward, resting his head on Erik's chest as his memories are gently touched and filed through. Charles tries to turn his mind away; he doesn't want to see any of it.
Look. This is an order.
And when he does look, at the fragmented pieces of thought he'd taken from Emma Frost's mind, Erik's there. He digs down deep into Charles' mind until it feels as though their whole minds form their bond, no part of them untouched.
I will be with you. In this, I will be with you. A wild desperation to make up for his previous mistakes. For what he did. Don't fear me.
I can't lose you. Yesterday, that would have been a statement. He couldn't. But today, after seeing how Erik could turn away from him so easily –
"Not easily." Erik standing in front of the fallen telepath, his eyes like chips of ocean ice. I had to do this. To protect you.
Not like this.
Erik kisses Charles again, harder, hands coming up to hold the sides of his face as the memories move on. He can taste Charles' fear as he watches the facility be torn apart around them, and sees what Shaw is capable of.
Erik doesn't want to see this. He knows what is coming, and he doesn't want to know what it will do to him. Shaw, anyone around Shaw, it is as though they have something that goes straight through him, and drags out everything he'd thought he'd left behind when he'd found Charles. He'd thought he was done with being a monster. He had a place, he had a people again. But one look from Shaw's broken telepath and he'd been alone again, everything cold and dead around him except for the rage, and the hatred.
He turns away, letting the memories flow past and over him and away, curling around Charles to protect him. Remember it like this. If you think of it at all. Remember that I was with you.
Slowly the flood slows and the world around them returns. "I'm sorry." He could say it a thousand times and it wouldn't be enough.
"So you might as well not say it at all." Charles gives him a quiet smile. "You didn't know. You thought you were keeping me safe." I cannot forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. Just stay with me, be who I know you truly are and I could not ask for more.
"You will always come with me." Erik knots his fingers in Charles' hair and tilts his head up. "I will show you how to defend yourself, if I cannot." There are a thousand things that could happen, and some aren't even Erik's fault. He can give Charles that certainty, though it tears him inside. He would find a way to keep Charles safe forever, locked safe and close inside Erik's heart if he could. There are no safe places in this world, and the mistake Erik made was in believing they were any to begin with.
I'd burn down the world to keep you safe. He kisses Charles again.
Please don't.
Shhh. Say nothing. Do nothing. You are mine. Let me take care of you.
He walks Charles to the bathroom, and starts to undress him. And, even after all the time spent together, Charles still blushes when Erik unbuttons his shirt – metal buttons from now on, he decides –and eases it over his shoulders. He does the same to his trousers, and pushes them down, underwear and all, over sharp hipbones. Charles kicks off his shoes and steps out of his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. He leans against Erik, arms around him; quite naked to Erik's fully dressed.
"The shower." Erik touches the wall where the pipes run and the water turns on by itself, already the right temperature.
Charles doesn't argue, going in to stand under the hot spray. Erik makes quick work of his own clothes and step in as well. It's a mark of how groggy Charles is, and how uncertain his telepathy is, that he doesn't realise Erik is there until they're pressed up chest to back. He holds Charles still, not letting him turn around, and runs two fingers down the side of his face. He will never tire of this, memorising him by touch. The texture of his skin, the contours of his face, round and full and happy. You will be happy. Everything I can do, I will do to make you happy.
He rubs the pad of his thumb over Charles' lower lip, pressing in against his teeth until he opens his mouth and sucks gently. And that, with everything that's happened and such a long two days, is still enough to get Erik hard and wanting at once. He doesn't have to look at Charles to know he's the same, and when he removes his hand Charles turns his head and smiles at him, eyes dilated. Please. Yes please. Erik gently bites down on Charles' shoulder as he slides his hand down and over Charles throat, feeling it clench and bob as he swallows. Around over the edge of the collar and across his chest to pinch at a nipple.
Charles groans, rather loudly and Erik presses a finger to his lips, which Charles licks and nips at before sucking on. He presses back against Erik, arse grinding against Erik's cock. It's a blatant provocation, but Erik doesn't want it to be over this quickly. He sucks hard as his free hand continues to wander, edging down over the curve of his belly to the edge of a hip. He holds it there for moment, feeling the strength of in under the skin, as though someone had tied bone into a bow.
Please, I want this. Everything in the last few days washed away with water and burnt away with lust, if only for a few moments.
Erik pulls his fingers free of Charles' mouth, releasing the wet skin in his mouth with a final suck before running his hand down his back, over his arse and pressing in gently as his other hand reaches for Charles' cock.
Charles' skin is wet and hot and his head is thrown back into the spray from the shower. He gives another groan, even louder, and there's banging from next door. Charles snatches out a laugh before that too ends in another cry.
"R-Raven would like us to keep it down." He coughs, gasps, and any other sound is cut off when the collar tightens.
"Be quiet then." It's the best moment. There is nothing Erik wouldn't do for this. To have Charles writhing against him, simultaneously trying to thrust into Erik's hand around his cock, and the fingers slowly driving inside him. Feeling his mind coming apart at the edges, the tremors under his skin, the dragged breaths he can just about gasp out around the collar. Tightening it also gives Erik some free metal to play with. It's hard to concentrate anything but pure lust right now, but he manages to dredge up enough control to loosen a few strands of metal and slide them up Charles' throat, over his chin and into his gasping mouth.
Any arousal Erik lost in dredging up enough fear to use his powers comes back with interest the next moment, watching Charles' eyes go wide as the strands work their way into his mouth and down his throat. Erik releases Charles' cock and presses his fingers against his neck, feeling the hardness in the place where jaw meets throat, the muscles flex as Charles tries to gag against it. It pulses at his command; sometimes stretching against the walls of his throat, sometimes shrinking down to allows Charles to breathe.
You are mine. Remember this. His hand returns to Charles' cock. Whenever you might think you are alone, no matter what, remember. This is you, and you are mine. Everything about you belongs to me and I will never, never let you go. No matter what. You will never be alone. You are in my hands, and I will never hurt you.
Charles is far gone beyond rational thought, but his response is a wave of blind pleasure and joy and lust and love with no sense to it. And a strong sense that Erik should stop this and just bend him over and fuck him already.
"No." Erik tastes water as he pauses to suck another love bite just above Charles' collar, at the place between, where the metal strands are gagging him. Remember this. "This is for you." His fingers twist inside Charles, his thumb rubs over the exposed head of his cock. Everything is white hot lust and joy and good.
Two more stokes another twist inside him, and Charles finds his release in a quick strangled gasp and grunt and everything goes white in reflected pleasure. Charles collapses against the wall of the shower and Erik catches his arm to ease him down until he's sitting, water drumming on his lightly freckled shoulders. Erik reaches out, fingers uncurling in front of Charles' mouth. It opens and Erik can see the muscles in Charles' throat flex as the strands slowly unwind and are drawn back up and out, flowing in thick black threads over Charles' lips and Erik's hand and back down to blend with the now-loose collar, fusing together to a flawless whole again. Charles draws in a ragged gasp, and brings a hand to his throat.
It hurts a little to swallow, and Charles' throat feels raw. He smiles anyway, his head is still spinning and his legs are refusing to do anything more complicated than kneeling. He leans forward and rests his head against Erik's thigh, licking the bare skin and the water running down it. He can feel the outline of every muscle, the smooth skin with its light dusting of hair.
Erik reaches down and rests a hand on Charles' head, pulling his head up with the collar. "Was that good?" His voice is husky and he's still achingly hard, Charles can feel it through the bond. He smiles.
"You taste better." Charles raises himself a little higher until his mouth is almost brushing against the head of Erik's cock.
So willing to have me inside you again?
You are inside me, always. Charles closes his eyes and opens his mouth. Erik tastes of salt and metal and the water still streaming over them both.
Perhaps- the thought fractures, Charles can feel Erik struggle to put it back together. Perhaps I will use your collar again and- words fail and Charles gets an image of him kneeling on the floor, sucking Erik's cock as the same metal strands fuck him and wind around his legs and work him towards orgasm again.
Charles hums, and runs his tongue along the underneath. When the head hits the back of his mouth he struggles not to gag, instead trying to swallow around it.
This time it's Erik who growls something far too loud and Raven bangs on the dividing wall again. She's tired and needs to sleep and she does not want to hear this thank you. Charles tries to laugh, coughs; Erik grabs his hair and drags him in so hard Charles has to struggle to breathe through his nose. He swallows again, sucks, and Erik comes hard, biting his hand to keep from making any more noise.
They end up on the floor of the shower, the drumming water slowly going cold, sitting chest to back, Erik holds him very close, and Charles lets his head drop back against his shoulder. Erik's hands wander over him again, not erotic this time, but reassuring, making sure, one last time, that nothing happened, that despite the odds they are both well and whole and unhurt and together again.
It's so very good.