Your Scent
Blaine wasn't sure if he could fit one more fact about Latin America in the 20th Century into his brain. The bad part about that was that he still had 4 more decades of facts to try to memorize before his test tomorrow. The good part was that when his cell phone rang he rushed to get it- happy for any distraction. What was even better is that Kurt was on the other end of the line.
"I need your help. It's kind of an emergency."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. I mean. It's nothing bad. But I forgot something important in my car. It's past curfew for underclassmen. You have five minutes until your curfew-Mr. Junior. Could you run to my car and pick up the package? Please. It's really important."
Blaine couldn't say no. "Of course."
"A little pink bag under the passenger's seat. Thanks." Kurt clicked off knowing that Blaine only had 4 minutes now and it was going to be close.
Blaine only took enough time to slip into his sneakers so as he ran through the snow in his t-shirt and sweats he was freezing. He located Kurt's car in the parking lot. And the package was right under the seat. Blaine couldn't help but peak. A bottle of cologne. Only Kurt would have him rescuing a scent in the middle of a freezing cold night.
He jogged up the dorm stairs to the underclassmen floor and Kurt was there at the top of the stairs holding open the door.
Kurt grabbed the package, said a curt "Thanks" and turned away down the hall. The door was just about to shut when Blaine heard the familiar buzz that meant final curfew. All the doors would now be locked. Including the one to his floor. He wasn't going to sleep in the stairwell. He was able to get his foot in just in time before the door to the sophomore floor slammed shut. .
He pushed open the door. Kurt had already disappeared into his room. Blaine walked the short distance down the hallway and knocked on the door. Kurt stuck his head out. He didn't look pleased to see Blaine.
"I'm in a bad mood. I'm really not in the mood for visitors."
"I just missed curfew. I'm stuck. I can't get back to my room."
"Oh," Kurt said.
Blaine was a little put out by Kurt's obvious lack of enthusiasm. I did just rescue a bottle of perfume for you, he thought. And he was a little confused. He'd crashed in Kurt's room a couple of times when they'd been up late watching movies. Kurt didn't have a roommate yet so usually they'd push the two beds together and watch something on Blaine's laptop. And spend the evening pretending that they didn't mean to bump into each other or that the fact that one of their head swas know lying on the other's shoulder was just a casual accident. Or the fact that neither of them was watching the time and just happened to miss curfew so that Blaine would have to spend the night was purely accidental. But it was clear that Kurt did not want Blaine to come in.
There was a moment's pause and then Blaine retorted. "But it's no problem. I'm glad your cologne is safe in your room. I won't mind snuggling up in the hallway. Maybe I can curl up in a throw rug for warmth."
"Oh god." Kurt said throwing open the door. "I'm so sorry. I really appreciate you running to my car to get this. I've just had a horrible day and I'm in a bad mood. I didn't want to subject you to me."
Blaine kicked off his shoes and threw himself on the unused bed. He did not fail to notice that Kurt immediately straightened his shoes putting them neatly under the desk. Fine. Blaine thought. Last favor I do for you right before curfew but Blaine knew he'd never carry out that threat.
"Oh crap," He said instead.
Kurt looked at him.
"My Latin American Textbook is upstairs. I have 4 more chapters to read before the test tomorrow."
"Sorry," Kurt mumbled.
"It's fine." Blaine said.
Kurt hopped back into bed-even skipping his bedtime moisturizing routine. He didn't feel like talking and he hoped Blaine would get the hint. He just wanted to pretend to be asleep so he could continue feeling miserable for himself. Normally he was thrilled when Blaine was anywhere near him but he already felt ashamed that he had made Blaine run out in the cold to get his bag…he'd gone shopping earlier (retail therapy-he was in a bad, bad mood) and he had intentionally left it in there because he didn't want to drop it as he hauled in all of the other packages (it had been a really bad day) and he couldn't believe he forgot it until now. He didn't want it to get too cold and shatter in the night. He loved the scent but spilling an entire bottle all over his car would be a little overwhelming.
And now Blaine couldn't finish studying. He'd do bad on his test which would ruin his great GPA and it would be all Kurt's fault. He'd probably hate Kurt.
Kurt intentionally turned away from Blaine. "G'night."
Blaine was beginning to feel a little crabby himself. "So what designer scent did I venture forth for?"
"I do really appreciate you doing this. I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood. I'm just pathetic. I'm absolutely pathetic. It's a perfume."
Blaine waited and the rest of the story poured out.
"It's the perfume my mother always wore. My dad used to-my parents had a dresser-dad still has it- and he always kept my mom's old scarves in the bottom drawer and they always smelled like her. He kept a bottle of her perfume in there too and when I was having a horrible day I'd just go in and open the drawer and then lay in front of it-smelling her. I know it's pathetic. Well, now the dresser is in his and Carole's room. I'm sure the drawer that used to be a shrine to my mom's smell is probably full of off season women's clothes in Carole's size. And…
"It's so pathetic but I was just so sad today. For no real reason. I went shopping by myself since that usually cheers me up but it just made me feel that much more alone. I know its been a couple months now but I still miss Mercedes. I had this crazy and pathetic idea to buy this perfume and spray it on some of my scarves in my dresser drawer. That's what I was doing when you knocked. I didn't want you to see how pathetic and desperately weird I am sometimes."
Blaine waited only a minute and then he got up and padded over to the other bed. He debated just lying down on the covers because crawling in them seemed to forward but he was still freezing from his trek to the parking lot.
He crawled under the covers and spooned up to Kurt. Every part of his body thrilled at the contact with Kurt's.
"You're not pathetic." He whispered. "You are just homesick. It must be hard- everything you've gone through at school, Karovsky, your dad being sick, I know you adore Carole but still it's a big change having her marry your dad when it's just been the two of you, changing schools, leaving your friends…you're not pathetic. You're amazing. You're just homesick. That's normal."
"You want to know something pathetic?" Blaine continued
Kurt didn't answer but he was listening intently, finally relaxing against his friend. "I get homesick for Dalton when I am not here. This is where I feel most at home. My mom's wonderful and I like hanging out with here but when she married my step-dad right after I started coming here she moved into his condo. I have a room. But it's all his furniture. I feel totally welcome. I've put up a couple posters but it doesn't feel like my house. And my dad's got his new, perfect, family. I love Addy and the Kids. But its kind of like I just come to visit. And you've met my dad…"
There was pause and Kurt rolled over. "He's not really okay with you being gay, is he?" Kurt asked quietly.
"No. I mean I kind of came out to him but he just never acted like he understood what I was saying. He freaked out that people were picking on me because they thought I was gay because being gay is THE worst thing in the world to have people think of you…he transferred me here to start over so I wouldn't have that stigma…because having people think I'm gay would just be to him the worst… So any part of me, any interest that could even be construed as being gay-even the Warblers-I leave at the door of his house and he doesn't ask me anything about girls or…I don't pretend to be straight but anything about me that would point to me being gay is off limits at his house. He pretends I am not gay and just comes at me sideways about other things. It's pretty ironic, eh? I tell you to have courage and I'm just a coward. I hide one of the best things about myself…I'm out and proud everywhere else. My mom knows, Addy knows…but I want him to keep paying for Dalton. And I am not sure what would happen if I said something…"
There was a long pause. Kurt leaned forward and kissed Blaine's nose. He realized that this was the first time that his friend had really opened up to him.
Then having shared so much there was a long while when both boys pretended they had fallen asleep while secreting laying there-hearts beating fast, stomachs knotting, skin tingling wishing that they could somehow cuddle even closer, explore the other's body with their hands, maybe even kiss. Loving every minute of the tight quarters. Thinking about how wonderful this would be if they were boyfriends and could…
Oh no, Blaine thought suddenly, think of something else. Think of something else. Think of something else.
Eventually, they both did drifted off to sleep. And when Kurt woke, Blaine was gone- having gotten up really early so that he could sneak back through the recently opened doors for his own room before there were too many students crowding in the hall. Kurt smiled. He rolled over taking a deep breath into the half of the pillow Blaine had used. Now he had a second scent that he loved and that made him feel safe and comfortable.