Censored!

A/N: I was inspired by my friend Katia, her obsession with Gaara from the show Naruto and the song Shut Up and Sleep with Me. Also, this chapter is totally immature and not as funny as the others to me... if you guys have any ideas for the next chapter, either e-mail me or tell me in a review.

Chapter Six: CENSORED! Butt Smex

A.K.A. "Shut up and sleep with Haru"

Reader's POV

"Kyo." Hatsuharu, in all his ironically cow-murdering leathery glory, had instantly popped up behind the cat, who was half-asleep as it was.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You can't just pop up around the place like you live here! And where the hell is your shirt?" And as Kyo had pointed out, the ox was clad in just a pair of unnaturally tight, aforementioned cow-murdering leather pants. They were glossy and shiny and Kyo swore he could make out his reflection.

"On my way here I was deterred and ran into the path of life, where the young women who walk the street were exceptionally happy to see to it that I was kept so outstandingly sweaty and hot I stripped my shirt." Haru said in his monotonous voice as Kyo raised a bow.

"You got lost in some sort of Hooker alley and they made you so flustered and hot you stripped?" Kyo asked suspiciously as Haru neither opposed nor accepted the theory. Kyo sighed, why the hell was Haru so damn weird?

"Kyo, can I ask you something?" At this time, Kyo noticed that Haru seemed to be perturbed and flushed a faint red. Haru also had a bulge in his pants, but Kyo wasn't paying attention to that. Nope, no way… Kyo wasn't thinking about Haru's hard-on.

Yeah, and Ayame didn't like to cross dress.

"What is it, ya ox?" Kyo asked, forcing his voice to become harsh as Haru stiffed before sighing. "Well, spit it out!" Kyo shouted, annoyed that he was still staring every now and then Haru's uh… highly visible manhood.

"Shut up and sleep with me."

Kyo went aghast, his face turning crimson, yet Haru remaining as stoic as ever. Kyo stuttered,

"Y-you c-can't be serious! What the hell kind of perverted pick up line is that?" Kyo shouted, still blushing and pointing a horrified finger at his cousin.

"A lame one I presume. So then, will you shut up and sleep with me?"

But since this little story is rated T (not to mention it's called CENSORED), I cannot say whether Kyo and Haru had hot, rabid, butt sex in Shigure's study.

But I assure you… IF they did have hot, rabid, anal together in Shigure's study, then a certain little Honda would walk in on them.

And would innocently ask what they were doing all naked and sweaty and on top of each other.

To which Haru would reply, "We're wrestling."

And Tohru would nod in understanding and give a quick cheer to Kyo and then scurry away.

Of course, this is just IF Kyo and Haru had sexy, incest, man-love.

And who am I to say if they did or did not?