"Sirius. Dude. Man. You have to help me!"
Sirius looked up from where he was dangling a string for Peter's kitten, Armstrong, to chase.
"What's in it for me?"
"Five pounds of Fizzing Whizbees and my eternal gratitude?"
"Make it ten pounds and I'm in," Sirius said, dropping the string.
Armstrong immediately pounced, gnawing at his mysteriously dead opponent.
"Awesome. You're the best, dude."
"So, what do you need, someone to hold your purse while you shop?"
"Fuck you, man. I need you to pull a prank on Evans," James told him, "and then I'll save her, and she'll totally want to do me."
"…Surely, there is no way this can go wrong," Remus said, twitching his wand so Armstrong's foe was resurrected and began to slither across the rug.
"Fuck you, man, this is going to be perfect!"