Jordan was spending her Saturday afternoon staring at two Chardonnay bottles at her desk.

She had taken the Saturday off from being among people to make a new video and do some belly dancing. Something about it just made her feel pretty, and confident as the music washed over her while she swirled her hips. She was in control of how people admire her, how they lusted, how they reacted.

Being with the people and trying to be her improved self was tiring. A part of her knew it was irrational to care so much about people, that it was not going to change anything, she was still going to be viewed by others as a wishing ATM and that her effort to find love will still be a dead end. But another voice reminded her that by improving herself this way, she could be worth more in her personality than just by her powers.

So in the age old method of coping, she looked to the alchohol. Just for one night. One night not to think, she deserved as much. It wasn't like she was the only one. Lots of fae had turned to the shiny, clear bottle to cope with the ban of magic and being regulated to mere laborers, and finding mortal trade jobs.

The only thing stopping her was that she wasn't allowed. Sure, by law she wasn't allowed but she ignored that. It was just she was banned by Jasmine and Aladdin from social drinking for 5 years. She was only allowed to drink during dinner and even then, they had to be present.

It had happened three years ago when the waiter kept refilling, she hadn't kept track of how much she drank, by the end of the night she had made the right wing of the palace disappear, there was a single toilet in the middle of the hallway, yelled at the stairs she had mistakenly thought were stalled elevators, and performed a topless pole dance to "When you got it, flaunt it." Grounded for a year, banned from drinking for five.

Staring at these Chardonnay bottles, she felt like she was already breaking that rule, and it was giving her a nauseous guilty feeling.

She heaved a sigh. She was going to do it. Once, just once to be able to feel happy and then whenever she felt like giving up she could remember the feeling of lightness.

Without giving herself more time to obsess, she popped off the cork, and gulped it down. And proceeded to quickly gulp down the second.

She stood up, ready to get in the party mood, when the sudden dizziness made her feel down. She haphazardly got herself to standing decision to sit on the chair again. Her head felt disconnected from her body, bobbing around heavily while her chest leaned sideways, heavy as lead. She felt like she had been filled with water, and it was just gushing around her. All the swaying was making her sick.

"Too fast..." Jordan mumbled, taking a deep breath and throwing up.

Once the contents of her stomach and what felt like the rest of her internal organs were spewed over the floor, she felt hollow.

It wasn't the same lightness she remembered. That one was like being encompassed by a soft cloud acomplained by a giddy feeling that seemed to seap out of her. This was light as in she was floating, jumping with every step but shaky that she was worried her limbs were going to fly away from her.

She had thought it was probably going to be a bad idea. Now she defiantly knew she shouldn't have done this. Never again. She still felt the taste of bile.

She swayed and tripped over her feet, landing on her bed. Pressing her face against the smooth silk covers, she felt hyper aware of her body. Hollow but the loud thumping of her heart pulsed like a club beat.

She noticed how silent it was, and it gave her a foreboding feeling. The isolation, emptiness, it was never good. Whenever she was alone then came the people looking for wishes. Wishes that seemed concerned with her.

Like a phantom pain, she was assaulted by the feelings of hands roaming, caressing, clawing harshly against her, a whip against her neck...

She shot up from the bed. Well she would have shot up, but in actuality she wiggled and squirmed unceremoniously off her bed and grabbed desperately at her standing mirror.

She grasped the stands holding it up, turning her knuckles white. She looked at her reflection and saw that her form was shifting between her natural genie form and her human one. The different skin tones fading and reappearing in seconds. Once again, the sea sick feeling returned with the vengeance of a pounding from her head as well as her heart.

She tried to focus instead on the background. The thankfully still background that proved her unfounded paranoia was just nerves. None of the furniture or decorations had moved. No one was around. She was alone.

She looked at herself against and gasped at the face of Dina staring back. She fell on her butt just as Dina did, and realized she had transformed into her. She thought to Pierce, and there she changed to resemble him. She shifted through the various people she had mistakenly chosen to love, and leaned heavily against the mirror.

"Humans" she slurred "All the same. Greedy. Manipulative. Heartless." She pounded her fist against the edge. "Oh master! Yes, master. Of course, master. Tell me how low to go Master. Don't make me get off my knees, master. Whip me if you please, master. Say that you love, master."*

She rolled her eyes so she could glimpse the white of eyes, changing back to her human form, laughing bitterly. "Always a master, never a lover. I'm not worth much for you to keep lying that you actually care aren't I?"

Oh, alchohol. The bets truth inducer. There was no harm, she was alone. Blissfully, heartbreakingly alone. They wouldn't hear. Not like they would care anyway.

She shifted to the forms of her few friends, her family back to herself, swaying around and ranting. The people that care..for now. They cared for now. Who knows what she would that would make them think that she was irritating and selfish. They were tired of being with her. They would come to the logical conclusion, not to leave her though. They were sitting on a metaphorical gold mine. A girl who will give them everything. Their greed would take over, greed always did. "Just sell me to sadists. You'll probably get good money from it, after all, why wouldn't they pay top dollar for a being that won't die on them. I can even have smooth skin again if I get scarred too much. I'm the perfect thing. The perfect object. They'll love me. That's all they do. They love me, they love me so much. Unlimited love because I am the object to be desired. That is the only love I deserve to have, isn't it? I'm worthless without my powers aren't I. I'm just a useless, stupid, vile person that isn't worth anyone's energy. Put me in trafficking, that's all I'm good for. For other people. Just do it. Leave me like everyone else. At least the sadist won't let me go. I don't have the stress of when or why they will abandon me."

Jordan flopped back on her bed, "Leave like my parents. They didn't pretend to want me. They are already genies, they could get whatever they wanted themselves. They didn't lie."

Normally she would be angry at this thought. Her own parents who had taken the time to conceive and give birth and take care of her for five years, should at least pretend feeling bad more instead of zipping off to the nearest party. How dare they! But with the emptiness of the room, it just made her depressed.

She let out a loud resounding wail. Putting every thought and feeling of helplessness, rejection and desperation into the sound. She screamed in rage until she felt like she couldn't breath. Then wailed again. Again. Again.

The sound shattered the silence, and sheer volume made Jordan's aching head hurt worse, but she continued to do it. Soon the sound was monotoneous, soothing even. It gave her something to do, to focus away from the pain which was the point. Screaming as loud as she could. As if people would actually be able to hear her, and listen.

Author's Note: And that kids, is why you shouldn't drink when upset. So that's enough preaching. A new chapter already? Even I was surprised. But here it is. I hope you enjoyed.

*Inspired by The King and I song, "Yes, your majesty" which I took the liberty of changing some lyrics.

Until next time, I hope everyone enjoys their days and summers.