Wee, 'nother chapter! Um… yeah, thanks for the reviews, OH MY GOD! I found out that yana toboso also writes this one shounen-ai called Rust Blasters! It's amazing! I love it so so so much! Ok, on with the story
I also realize some of you were confused about Ceil and
Sebastian going back to get Ceil's father's soul. Allow me to explain this. The way I see it, demons don't perceive time the way we do, they can dip in and out of it as they see fit, and now that Ceil is with Sebastian, he can do so as well. There's also a theory that says every single event in time is happening over and over again, and will continue to do so until the end of time, I'm going by that and saying Sebastian simply went back to that time to get Ceil's fathers soul, yes, he was the man that would only take a year, to Ceil, that is. It took about as long as Ceil was born to the time of the fire, which was Sebastian's doing, and then some, for the time before Ceil was born. Now Ceil isn't a full demon, so time technically still passes for him, but he can dip in and out of the human sense of it, such as watching his own birth, watch Sebastian the dog, and the real Sebastian, but he's never actually there, human physics prevent that because of something called a paradox, Sebastian is not affected by this so he simply inhabits the body of himself in that time period or moment to do as he pleases, don't pay mind and don't try to think about it if you didn't understand what I just said, its not important to the story aside from proving Ceil is not a human anymore.…so on to the disclaimer and stuff. Oh, I also apologize for my HORRIBLE grammar, I know it pisses most people off but I haven't found a beta yet so…sorry, I'll try to get one as soon as possible and will probably rewrite my last few chapters.
By the By, a warning so your not so confused, hopefully, Ceil dips into human time for a while here, to get away from Sebastian, he unconsciously goes back in time to a random night when he was still alive before he meet Sebastian and his house burned down and his parents were murdered and yada yada. He's six here, lets say. Oh and sex warning, and implied rape.
Song used: House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance (note: in the song, he says 'tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray, well I changed man to boy, because Ceil…isn't exactly a man so, yeah, those are the original lyrics. Sorry MyChem Fans)
Disclaimer: Ceil, you do it, I'm to lazy
Ceil…
*looks at*
Ceil: I don't feel like it *walks away*
Me: Damn, Mk, I don't own the song, band, the cute little boy, or the demon!
I hate you to death, master
I have to keep running; I won't stay in a place like this, not with him…not like this.
Yeah, I know a thing about contrition, because I've got enough to spare, and I'll be granting your permission, because you haven't got a prayer.
His hands are all over me, and it stopped sending me up in flames long ago. I can't take this anymore, these dead touches, these emotionless declarations of love. I said make it painful, not unbearable, please, your starting to look like they did, your hurting me. Please stop…no more.
Well I said hey hallelujah, I wanna, come on sing the praise, I let the spirit come all through ya, we got innocence for days
I run, I don't know where too, I don't care. As long as I'm away from him. As long as I can escape it. You know how sensitive I am to touch, because of those white clad, masked bastards. I'm filthy enough, don't heighten it, I beg you, don't follow me. To where ever it is I'm running. Leave me alone…just for now, please…no more.
Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell, everybody burn a house right down and say now, what I wanna say,
I run through the halls of my home, escaping the darkness at the end of the hallway, just barely, I make it. I stop to catch my breath and rest a moment. I don't sense you anymore, well, not close by at least. As I sit, I notice my outfit has changed, and the floor came closer much faster. I get up weakly, bewildered. It is night, and I can see my reflection in the floor length window. I'm young again, my face is completely open, nothing is hiding my emotions, my eyes match, my ears and tail are gone it seems. I stare thunderstruck, this cannot be happing.
Did I really do it? Did I escape him, who could have given me a second chance? There is no God, I'm sure of it, and even if their was, why would he suddenly smile upon me? Am I not a cursed child? I can hear heavy footsteps, like those of a man approach me. I tense, then relax, it's not him.
Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, tell me I'm a bad boy, kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, now go
I turn and see my father smiling at me, I want to cry…and this body won't let me stop myself. As he kneels, I burst into tears and run to him.
"Papa, Papa!" I sob into his shoulder as he holds me.
"Ceil, my darling son, whatever is the matter?" I shake my head and continue to cry, I can't explain it to you, there are no words to describe this feeling. You pick me up and carry me down the hall, and I don't let go, not for a moment.
We walk a ways and I am able to cease my sobs. I look over your shoulder, wiping my eye and freeze. That dog is walking faithfully behind you, a dark gleam in his once friendly eyes. I begin to shake and can only stare in horror. You turn, cutting my view off of him. You lift me up to examine me from below. "Son, what's wrong?" you look down, and smile warmly. "It's only Sebastian." I cry out at the name and he panics slightly, pulling me back into a hug as I cry again. This body will let me conceal no emotion at all. How riveting. I can't remember the last time I cried so shamefully.
Not even during his cruel ministrations did I cry.
"My boy, is he alright? Were is darling little Ceil?" I freeze, as the sweet voice fills the hall, no…it can't be.
"Were over here, darling" he says.
Yes I am, now yes I am…yes I am now yes I am
I'm taken from his arms and into a softer hold, the smell of honey and dew fills my head and I cry again, clutching to her flowing dress. My mother hadn't held me like this…I can't even think of a time when she had. But she was now. She was rocking me softly as I forgot the man concealed in the dog watching this little family moment.
"Shh, dear, it's alright, theirs nothing to fear, your safe, hush now" I can't even remember what I was afraid of.
"Darling, I think its time he and I retire, have a good rest" she says softly, and kisses the man before we walk away. I look over her shoulder and see him smiling…at the dog. They turn, and he begins to walk away, in the direction I believe used to be father's rooms. He and mother did not sleep in the same bed, in fact, mother and I didn't sleep in the same bed either, only on special occasions, but our rooms weren't as far apart as they were from fathers. The dog watches me and I swear a smirk flashes across its pure white face. But how? It's only Sebastian, our loving dog? He turns and follows father.
You played ring around the ambulance, like you never gave a care, so get the choir boys around you, it's a complement I swear
I can't sleep right now, I wish to see mother and father again. I get up and leave my rooms. The hall is dark, lit only by the moon at the end of the corridor. As I walk, I am confident I will find her rooms simply by walking where I think they are. But after a while, I realize that won't happen. So I go to the hall I know is the one that leads to the grand entry way. It is at the center of our mansion.
And I said ashes to ashes, we all fall down, I wanna hear you sing the praise. I said ashes to ashes we all fall down, we got innocence for days
I descend the stairs and look to my right. I see the doors and almost expect Elizabeth to come crashing through them. She doesn't though, she's at her home asleep, like most children my age should be. I ascend the stairs on the other side of the raised area and enter the west wing of the manor. I know fathers rooms are here somewhere. But then I here a shuffle, and see a tail disappear behind a corner. Oh! It's Sebastian.
"Sebastian" I call softly. Perhaps he couldn't sleep either and has come looking for me, so that we can play together. I follow him, and see him round another corner. Soon I know where I am, it's the hall my fathers rooms are located in. I see his door is slightly ajar at the end, and I begin walking, when I here a strange, noise. My father is moaning, as through he's in pain; I run to the door and stop dead.
Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell, everybody burn a house right down.
A man is on top of father on his bed, with black hair and skin so pail it was glowing white in the dim candle light. The collar Sebastian wore still around his neck. He was doing something to father that made him moan again. What was he doing? For some reason I became very scared. I backed up a step and the mans head shot up for a moment.
"S-Sebastian?" my father asked shakily, but I only barley heard him. The man turned his head and locked eyes with me. He smirked and his red eyes flashed.
I couldn't scream, only run again. Why was he here? I though frantically as I ran. I had escaped him…I…memory was coming back, as I ran, and that man followed, wearing a pair of fathers pants. He walked, I ran, and I never got any farther from him. Finally I collapsed at the end of the hall. And he smirked as he approached.
Take this to my grave
I backed up against the window, all I could feel was fear. Nothing else, I couldn't feel hate, like I should have. How could he do those things to my father, all because he wanted trust, because he wanted my father's soul? How many men and women had he deceived in the same way? How many children like me? I couldn't find the hate, I understood what he had done, but this child's mind couldn't comprehend it. So I felt the closest thing my temporary mind could, I felt fear, absolute, sickening fear, as I backed up against that window and he knelt before me.
Tell me I'm a bad boy kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, now
I hate you; I hate you so much, but…no...I…
You better run like the Devil 'cause there never gonna leave you alone
You kiss my hand and smile, the smirk is gone, the lust is gone…the danger has passed. My fear is ebbing.
"Hello there, little love" you whisper with so much warmth, my fear completely disappears. "I'm so sorry, I forgot, I need to be careful with you don't I?" your voice is layered with honey. I blink blearily to clear my vision. It's becoming hazy; the world around us is getting fuzzy and hard to focus on. I'm not a little boy anymore, I can feel it.
You better hide up in the alley 'cause there never gonna find you a home
"Dear little pet" you whisper as you kiss my ear, the one you gave me…their back. They were never gone…what a horrible realization. I feel your hands slide under me and lift me up, and a jolt of panic races through me. Memories flood back, all of it, everything they did…everything you did.
And as the blood runs down the walls, you see me creeping up these halls.
I cry out and struggle and you simply raise your eyebrows and shift me in your arms, so that I am carried like a child, like my father held me. I scream no, your face hardens and you use one hand to hold my face in place.
I've been a bad mother fucker tell your sister I'm another and go go go.
"Ceil, look at me" no, I won't. I don't care what you say, what you do, it all leads to that. To what you seem to do best. "Ceil" your voice is firm and finale, I see your eyes glow and my ears and tail begin to tingle; my eyes are unwillingly dragged to your face. I can't look away, I want to so desperately but I can't.
And I said say, what I wanna say, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave
"You know I love you…don't you?" you say softly, and lean your forehead against mine.
"You lying bastard" I whisper, I can hold the tears back now, thank whoever. You look almost sad as you close you eyes, thinking of how to respond.
"What's come over you darling? I thought you loved me" the sting in my eyes is almost unbearable, but I choke it back and do my best to glare.
"How could I not…" I hate myself for not being able to lie. As I ran on those short legs, from what I knew would come time and time again, even during the action, I realized I loved him. No matter what he did to me, or anyone else. No matter what memories he resurfaced.
"I love you to death" I whispered, "Do you love me to death?"
Tell me I'm a bad boy, kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave
You smile and kiss me, it's not nice, you're not nice. It's demanding and invading, and I can't help the tears that fill my eyes.
Tell me I'm a bad bad bad bad boy
Because I love it, it hurts so much and I love it
Tell me I'm a bad bad bad bad boy
You stop to pull the bow again and I grip your hand. You look at me amused.
So get up,
"Please" I beg quietly
So get out
You smile sweetly. "No"
Yes I am, Yes I am
I love you to death, master.
Wow…that was fairly dark by my standards…I almost started crying while writing this…but I'm really emotional, and this is actually a very sensitive subject for me. But after watching a little more of the anime, I can't help but think that Sebastian, if in complete control, would do something like this. However, I'm not sure Ceil would handle it this way. But, you know he's been going through an unprecedented amount of this. After a while, I think he would start to do anything to stop it. I watched the episode where Elizabeth was turned into a doll, and the puppet master guy, whatever his name was, reminded me that those people in white didn't just brand Ceil, so…I incorporated that perpetual fear he seems to have of being touched like that.
Me: CEIL-CAHN! IM SO SORRY
Ceil: …you're very mean…Hitomi-san
Me: I know…but…I can't tell you how Sebby-chan really feel's because it will ruin it for them!
Ceil: …*Looks away*
Sebastian: Ceil, darling, come here, I'm board
Ceil: *twitches, goes to him*
Me: O.O … OwO *writes down everything I see*
Me: REVIEW PLEASE!