A/N: I forgot to add this omake last chapter, so here ya go!
Omake #3: In which the conference is NOT held in NYC, and certain laws are ridiculous
It was a warm, sunny, and very humid day in Miami; not a hurricane in sight. The conference started on a bright note; France had apparently convinced the other members of the bad touch trio to wear prom dresses to the conference as a way of saying they had no problem with the fact that she'd been cross-dressing for the last 400 years or so. America's initial reaction had been to look at them in shock.
"Oh my God," she'd muttered. "I never thought I'd ever see the day that law-" and then she cracked up and could barely stand upright, let alone complete her sentence. In the end they found out through a passing security guard that it was illegal for men to wear strapless gowns in Florida, and were advised to change quickly or else be taken down to the nearest police station to be fined.
Needless to say, male or female, America was weird.
)6(
Hungary was ecstatic; finally, here was another woman who knew what it was like to be a guy and then have to learn how to be female again. The fact that Hungary herself had also believed she was a boy was irrelevant; the principle was still the same.
And so it came to pass that Hungary braved the streets of New York in order to get to America's apartment and knocked on the door bearing a small gift basket on behalf of the female nations of the world. Whatever response she'd been expecting, it was not the one she got:
Complete and utter silence.
Frowning, Hungary knocked again. And knocked some more. And then she pounded. She was considering making use of her lock picking skills - she wasn't on the Yaoi Brigade for nothing - when an elderly lady came out of the next apartment, carrying a watering can.
"He's gone running, dear. You'll have to wait for him to come back." The lady - presumably America's neighbor – said
"Oh... Do you have any idea when - he'll be back?" Hungary asked hopefully.
"Mm, hard to say; sometimes an hour, sometimes an afternoon."
"Do you have any idea where he went running?" Hungary doubted she did, but it was worth asking wasn't it?
"Central Park, I'd imagine - but that's no place for a respectable young woman to be at so close to dusk."
Hungary hummed noncommittally "Alright, thank you Mrs...? "
"Call me Aunt Mae, dear."
)o(
Hungary wandered down the paths, through forests and open fields, across bridges and even past an amphitheater. Along the way she asked several hot dog vendors, joggers, fishermen, and photographers if they had seen a young man with glasses and unruly blond hair.
Following their directions, Hungary jogged briskly down the path with the gift basket in one hand and a pair of high heels in the other. The twisted branches of the oaks on either side of her formed a dense canopy above her, and if it were not for the steady ambiance of faintly audible car horns and sirens in the background, she might have forgotten she was in New York City, or even in America at all. It had been a long time since she'd seen much more of America than whatever facility was hosting the world conference; this park was a reminder of the vast wildernesses that had drawn Europe to America in the first place.
Hungary continued to follow the path for a long time before she finally found him… her, rounding a bend in the path ahead at a brisk jog. Hungary quickly sped up to catch up to her and then matched her pace.
"Hello, America," she smiled brightly. America stared straight ahead, ignoring her, and Hungary frowned, suddenly becoming aware of the tinny music blasting from the tiny earbuds America was wearing:
"-You shout it out-"
"America-" She tried again, louder, but America continued to ignore her and ran noticeably faster.
"but I can't hear a word you say..."
"America!" Hungary grabbed the dangling wires and forcefully yanked the earbuds out of America's ears, keeping a grip on them the way she might hold a leash. This got the superpower to stop and turn towards her.
"What?" she spat, glaring at Hungary so intensely that the European nation was tempted to take a step back; this was not at all what she had planned. Hungary wasn't very sure the gift basket would go over well if she gave it to America right now. The music, which was clearer now, continued to blare:
"-Bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away-"
"That can't be comfortable," she said instead, pointing to America's chest, which from the looks of it was still bound.
America shrugged, still glaring. "You get used to it."
"You shoot me down, but I won't fall, I am titanium..."
"It's a good time to be a girl," Hungary offered.
"For a human, maybe. I'm not sure there will ever be a good time to be a girl and a nation." America sighed heavily and trudged to a nearby park bench, her anger quickly fading into melancholy as she dragged her feet through the leaf litter.
Oh my, Hungary thought, though she should have expected it, having gone through a post you're-a-girl depression herself.
"It's not so bad!" She tried to reassure America. "Sure, they're all being seggfejek now, but when are they not? Soon they'll be back to being seggfejek for the normal reasons, you know 'You guys are being unawesomely boring!' and such."
America didn't quite look convinced, so Hungary held out the gift basket.
"Look, see? We female nations were so happy we made you a gift basket. Belgium made chocolate, Taiwan and I made some pastries, and Mexico said you liked strawberries so we included some of those too." Hungary sat down next to America and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Cheer up, it will all be alright! All the other girls really are excited, you know. After the meeting we can all go shopping, and we can hang out, and do girly stuff and-" America's face was paling very rapidly, which was not quite the reaction Hungary had been hoping for… "Or maybe we could do that another time... Did anyone ever tell you that I used to think I was a boy?"
America raised her head, and for the first time Hungary was able to look her in the eye, where she found a glimmer of interest. "In fact, all of Europe thought I was a boy too…" And thus began the most awesome story-time of the twenty-first century.
)o(
America's mood much improved, the two nations walked jauntily out of the park, eating chocolate as they traded stories. "So how did you find out?"
Hungary huffed. "Two words: Chest pains."
America winced sympathetically "Ouch, bro. That sucks." She commented as they came to an intersection where their routes split. To Hungary's surprise, America continued to walk with her towards the hotel.
"Aren't you heading that way?"
America grinned broadly "Dude, what kind of sorta-man would I be if I didn't escort the lady back to her hotel? That's really important stuff when you're pretending to be a guy."
Hungary snorted. "Isn't that what a gentleman would do? Like England says he is?"
"No way man!" America exclaimed. "That's what Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne would do! 'Cuz they're the HEROES! AHAHAHA!"
Hungary smiled and before long broke out laughing as well. America was back.
A/N - Happy pi-day! Also known as happy-day-after-all-my-outlines-and-makeup-essays-were-due-so-now-I-have-FREEDOM! Yay :) And for all the Sheldon-s out there saying "But yesterday was pi day!" I argue that if I switch the arrangement of the day and the year I get 3.14.15 which is more accurate than 3.14 (but not as accurate as in 2016, 3.14.16/ 3.14159)
Anywho, I'm sorry this chapter's short, but I'm happy it's here nonetheless...
(Girl in) Translations!
Seggfejek - Hungarian. A-holes. Apparently, the rule of thumb in Hungarian seems to be that adding a vowel and a k makes a word plural...
Hetaliak! :}
Las Notas Otras:
Omake - Yes, that really is a law in Florida. No I don't know why it exists (though I bet it's a funny story. Plot bunny, anyone?) Yes there are many such ridiculous state laws in Florida and throughout the other '49. No, most people don't know them or abide by them. And yes, you can find compilations of ridiculous American state laws on the internet.
Central Park - is freakin' huge. So huge and amazing and nifty that, if I actually braved pollution and claustrophobic masses of people long enough to visit a big city, it'd be to visit that park. O.O
Titanium - is origianlly by David Guetta, though the Piano Guys have an awesome version too
Strawberries - dude, America makes a lot of strawberries. Just saying. Mexico makes a lot too.
Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne - well, one has good manners. The other pretends to be a playboy. Close enough.
The next chapter is already really nifty in all it's rough-draftiness glory, but it'll be better if you review, ne?
EDIT - An open letter from the author: Hey guys, I know y'all hate hearing this, but a form of SOPA is back (again... whyyyyy?) and it's targeting fanart and fanfiction, which is probably a very relevant issue to you if you're reading this. If you're against this, could you please just add your name to the petition protesting it on White House . gov? Just look up Stop SOPA 2014, add your name, and if you can spread the word that'd also be nifty. Thanks!
~Juniper