yes more changes...i combined chapters 4 and 5. So now this one is 6. Let me know what you think?

Renji...

He was seething. There were actually no words to describe what he was exactly feeling. He sat there holding back the entire time just the way his Taicho would do trying to be as stoic and calm as possible. 'Un-fucking believable,' was all he could keep saying in his brain never daring to let any words slip from his mouth. He knew who he was and stupid was not a part of that. So he sat there and stood there that whole time constipated with fury. Silent and cold is how his meeting with his Taicho was after breakfast. Brief would best describe what happened because he had to get the hell out of there.

Rose and sandalwood had been delicately drifting towards him as Byakuya sat there talking with the other Taichos. All Renji could think is that the world was going insane because how many reasons could there be for Byakuya to smell of Rukia. Could Taicho be slipping up? His mind did not want to believe that because that was impossible, or was it? She was also suspiciously late as well. When she finally arrived she could barely look at him or her supposed brother.

Once he finally arrived at the sixth division he immediately sent the seated person below him to assemble the squad for training drills of hand to hand combat. He was not his normal congenial self today. He was stern, focused, and unforgiving during the training. He actually broke the arm of one of his subordinates accidentally. He had no control on the practice field and just took it that far in a silent rage that actually took many of the squad members aback. The summer heat seemed to add to the fierceness of his fighting. One must remember Abarai Renji was once placed in the 11th division for a reason. He pushed them hard and for hours. He only allowed one thirty minute break. When combat resumed there were more minor casualties.

"Abarai end this," the jolting steel voice of his Taicho interrupted his movements. Byakuya had finally arrived to assess the training and was not pleased.

"Why don't you join me for one last spar?" Renji spat out.

"Enough! This is not the 11th division and your brutality and rudeness has been noted. Quit while you are ahead. Do not embarrass us both," Byakuya's tone was filled with ice.

"Hai," Renji bowed and then turned to the rest of the squad and dismissed them for the day as it was already four in the afternoon.

Renji returned to their office in exactly thirty minutes freshly showered looking neat and presentable. Byakuya was there waiting with paperwork for Renji to fill out.

"You are dismissed when you are finished filling out these incident reports for injuries caused by YOU today Abarai," Byakuya calmly stated as he placed the paper work on Renji's desk.

Renji breathed in deeply as Byakuya stood before his desk and noticed something.

"Hey Taicho you smell differently than this morning." The words hung in the air for a few moments.

"I will see you tomorrow, "Byakuya replied as he left the office with a wave of irritation passing over his face Renji could not see.

At six o clock the sun was still strong, bright, and hot. Renji was also done with his work at last. He currently needed to see Rukia and felt considerably desperate in this desire. Trying to locate her riatsu he was pleased that she was still at her division which meant he did not have go to the Kuchiki manor.

Unrequited

Noticing the blur of Renji through the large set of windows a feeling of dread washed over Rukia's body. He has shunpoed himself to the 13th division. She saw him walking towards the entrance of the mess hall which was in full party mode. She had even baked pastries earlier in the afternoon for the almost impromptu division party celebrating her promotion. She was a Fukutaicho now. She needed to meet things head on. So she picked up an apricot tart and started walking towards the entrance to greet him maybe a wise decision or maybe not, but not dealing with him would not be right.

Her heart was beating so hard she thought she might lose her breath. "Hello Renji. I am so glad you could drop by." Thankfully her voice came out smooth and calm. Her eyes were looking into his brown ones intensely.

"Could I have a moment of your time?" Renji asked with a smile on his face. His own heart was currently fluttering out of control as well. It was her Taicho who interrupted them by asking if everything was okay giving Renji a very serious and intimidating look.

"Everything is perfect Ukitake Taicho I just wanted to steal a little time with the Kuchiki Princess here," he said with a bit of sarcasm.

"Its fine, I'm fine. Shall we go for a walk then Renji?" Her body language was a little hesitant.

Once outside they were both silent. Renji decided to eat his pastry as the smell of it reminded him he had only eaten a small amount at breakfast. They walked in silence for about ten minutes to a secluded spot in the gardens of her division. He noted in his mind that she looked like she was waiting for a bomb to drop. She suddenly sat down under a maple tree to give herself some shade when he also sat down next to her and captured her mouth in a very gentle and sensual kiss. Pulling her on to his lap she straddled him and kissed him back. She didn't want to but she couldn't help herself while she tasted the sweetness of apricot on his lips and tongue. Eventually she tried to pull back but he only pulled her closer increasing his grasp on her waist. Finally he pushed her on to her back on the ground never breaking the contact between their lips. When he broke the kiss he held himself over her looking at her beautiful face praying this moment would last forever.

His body was trembling from an aching heart and overworked muscles as he spoke," I love you Rukia I will love you forever no matter what. I let you go once but I refuse to let you go now. Just because I didn't chase after you last night doesn't mean I let go. I realize things are different...waaaay different now and we have both changed a lot but I won't share you."

"You know what happens when you assume baka," she said closing her eyes and letting out a long sigh.

"He smelled of you Rukia don't deny it, and what was with that lame story that he was with somebody. Please I already asked you not to fuck with my head."

"I didn't sleep with him….god Renji."

"You kissed him though," he replied as he let himself finally roll on to his back lying next to her on the ground.

"Renji do you hear yourself? What were YOU doing last night?"

"Did you kiss him? Dont make me repeat myself Rukia. I already feel like an asshole."

"There were no kisses nothing happened Renji," she said in a quiet voice wondering what the real repercussions of all of this would be and not revealing all that had happened that morning.

He rolled over on to his side facing her and just looked at her.

Feeling frustrated she finally spoke," Is that so unbelievable? Do you think I would lie to you?"

With that comment he was up on his feet again pacing back and forth.

"How do I fucking compete with him Rukia? I let him take you away without realizing what was really going to happen or the consequences of you becoming a noble. I know this all started with a promise to your sister but obviously things have changed. Now I'm just going crazy and I don't know what to do or how to keep my heart from dying. Yes I sleep around occasionally. It makes me feel not so attached otherwise I feel like my world my sanity is going to collapse. It's how I cope. I know it's ridiculous and selfish, but there it is. I'm sorry. It is part of who I have become and I am working on changing it

"Not to change the subject but did you really break someone's arm today Renji?" she spoke softly.

"Yes but not on purpose I have been frantic all day. I just wanted to rip Byakuya's head off."

"And what about mine…do you want to rip my head off too?"

"I hated you like poison all day until I saw you….Are you in love with him?"

Still lying on the ground she covered her face with her hands and let out big loud sobs,

"Let me go Renji. I don't deserve you. I will only make you look like a fool if I haven't already just let me go please."

Kneeling back down on the ground and pulling her hands from her face his body now hovering over hers while pinning her hands to the ground. "Rukia stop crying STOP…..Do you love me?" He said those words so tenderly she stopped breathing and hoped for the second time today she would just die suddenly. His serious yet handsome face was too much to take. So she needed to be brutally honest and it felt like something terrible.

"I love you both so I can't have either of you and as I stated last night he doesn't want me either…. I am sorry everything has changed so much with that one decision but what is done is done. We cannot be anything more because I would choose him if I could. If you hate me or need to hate me I totally understand and would not blame you. I also think we should stay away from each other for a while."

And with those words he bent his head down and placed a final kiss on her lips and said, "Please remember that I do love you."

As he released her from himself, she felt a little peace knowing he didn't flip out. It would take them time to recover though perhaps another fifty years but she hoped it would be less. The real question however was would her and Byakuya ever recover from what happened? She was sure they would because if they could just pretend nothing happened and avoid each other for a long while they could forget. It is time to do the right thing for everyone.

Returning to the mess hall with a smile on her face was difficult but doable. Byakuya hadn't come to the celebration. She sent him a message inviting him but there was no response. It was not surprising. It was classic Byakuya. What did she really expect? It was really better this way. It was one step toward undoing what they had been doing. The celebration finally wound down by the time it was dark. So it was time to go home and finalize things.

Walking back to the manor it was nice to be alone with her thoughts again. She had a few days before she would be starting her new training. This also meant she would be moving in to her Fukutaicho living quarters. She had spent the morning cleaning up her new residence. She was done playing games exciting as they had been, but it was really Renji who had been hurt the most. Had he really been waiting to be with her all that time? That was not acceptable. It took a little more than fifty years for something really minute in the scheme of things to happen between Byakuya and her. So it was best to end it now. This is why it would be best to move out of the manor. It would be best to end their so called family nights and best to return to their former relationship. It was definitely best to avoid those stormy grey eyes and his handsomely stoic face as well and best to never think about what happened earlier in the day. These thoughts reinforcing her previous ones when Renji and she had parted even though her heart hurt like it never had before.

How could she really focus on training with all of this emotional drama going on in her life? She was thankful Renji sought her out to talk as painful as it had been. She was glad to know Byakuya would not approach her about this. So it would be easier to let go even though it would be disappointing. She would get over it because it was better to let it go. Better to close the door on something that barely was. He was not Renji. He wasn't going to fight her for her. Does that even make sense? She was only a favor to her dead sister. Who had time for love when there were souls to save and hollows to destroy? Her resolve was strong as she approached the front gates of the manor.

Yes there were changes but not too many….so give a review….as you can tell I take them rather seriously.

well there it is...any questions?...some reviews would be totally appreciated good or bad but not mean...okay? as this is my first real attempt at writing:)