A/N: This is a Hotch/Emily story. The only difference in this from canon is that Doyle was the one who died (Morgan shot him) rather than Emily 'dying'.

OMG! Thank you all for such a great response :) You are the best people EVER! Hope you enjoy the chapter :) Don't really know where it came from honestly ;P Pretty sure I made it up as I went along lol.

Alteration

27 August 2012
-13:34pm (Los Angeles) 10:34pm (Quantico, Virginia)-

JJ eyed her older brunette friend as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. A small smirk was on her lips. JJ had mostly recovered from the night before, having gotten eight hours straight of sleep and a full breakfast in her. Chris had foregone alcohol completely, and was now playing chess with Reid. Funnily enough, she was terrible at chess. Made up the rules as she went along. And Reid, despite his nature of following the rules, let her. Of course, that didn't mean he was letting her win.

"Okay, that's it. I'm done playing chess with you," Chris stated, boredom setting in as she stood and walked around to Emily and JJ. She flopped into the seat next to Emily, sighing. JJ smiled at her, and Chris nodded before looking at Emily. "Whoa, mommy dearest, what's up with you? You look wrecked." She was blunt as ever, and Emily glared at her, before her eyes caught Hotch's as he walked from the bar with his third mug of coffee.

She flushed and gave him a weak smile, which he returned before sitting down and closing his eyes, rubbing his temples. Chris narrowed her eyes, them flashing between Hotch and Emily before she gasped in excitement. "Oh my god, you two totally had sex!" she hissed, her face lighting up and Emily paled, gaping at her. JJ made a curious noise, leaning over the table as well with fascinated eyes.

Chris seemed to revert back to a gossiping teenager as she repeatedly hit Emily on the arm, playfully. "Tell us! Come on, come on, come on! Tell us about it. What is any good? Ooh, did he do that thing where they run their fingers down your spine and it tickles like crazy?" she rambled. JJ rose her eyebrows, and Emily blinked in confusion. They both gave Chris an amazed expression, and she slowly flushed, realising her mistake. "So... that's something only Spencer does then... okay..."

"I.. I didn't have sex with Hotch..." Emily lied, and JJ rolled her eyes. One thing about Emily that JJ was certain of was that she was a terrible liar. Emily glowed, ducking her head to hide her face. Chris chuckled, and then looked over to the pile of files on the brown chest along the opposite side. She stood, giving JJ a 'Keep-on-her' look.

"Don't let her go without admitting it, okay? I have to go start this paperwork. Otherwise I'm going to be in the office all night," Chris exhaled, a dark look on her face and she lifted the files, going over to the chair opposite Reid and pulling her laptop out its case. He looked at her, with a soft smile, before returning to his book. She plugged her memory stick into the computer, and opened the top file, reading through it.

JJ gave Emily a persistent gaze, and Emily squeezed her eyes shut, before she looked helplessly back. "I slept with Hotch..." Emily mumbled, and JJ grinned smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. Emily groaned, and rammed the heel of her fists into her eyes. "I can't remember it. I can't remember any of it. It was those damn shots you gave us, Jayje," shecursed the blond and JJ licked her lips sheepishly.

"Hey... it was Rossi's idea. He thought that it would get you two to finally loosen up and admit that you liked each other. Obviously it worked just a little bit too well," JJ apologised, and Emily replied 'You think?', feeling harsh and slightly hurt at being manipulated like that. JJ bit her lip, furrowing her eyebrows, and reaching over the table. She took Emily's hand in her and squeezed it lightly. "I'm sorry, Em. I didn't think it would upset you this much... I just wanted you to be happy."

"I was happy," Emily argued, and JJ rose her eyebrows, disbelief evident on her face. Emily exhaled heavily, looking out the window. She wasn't able to tell JJ that she had been happy. If anything, she had been coasting along. The only true times she had truly been happy, was when she was with Hotch and Jack. It wasn't that she didn't love her friends, because she truly did, but there was something about having someone looking up to you that just made her feel so important, and so happy.

"Emily... you weren't happy. I thought that this would make you happy. I thought being with Hotch would make you happy," JJ told her, and Emily smiled, with slightly pursed lips. JJ let go of her hand, leaning back in her seat, and cocking her head to the side. Emily licked her lips, pulling her hair out of her ponytail and shaking it loose, before collecting it again and putting it back into the ponytail. "Did he say anything? Have you talked about it?"

"He... he said he didn't regret it," she told her friend, and JJ gave her a gracious look. Emily licked her lips, letting her head fall back tiredly. Silently, she thanked Chris for always having aspirin on her. Reid may not take them, but Chris wasn't going to not keep them with her in case his headaches ever got to much. "What do you think I should do? Should I talk to him, or wait until he talks to me?"

"I think that you two have unresolved issues now, and you are going to have to deal with them, together. I can keep Rossi out of your business, and I won't interfere, but you two will have to talk about this, Emily," JJ said, an empathetic look crossing her features. Emily gave her a strained smile, not really looking forward to that conversation. JJ took a deep breath. "No matter what happens, we're your family Emily, and we'll stand beside both of you no matter what decision you make."

"I know you will. I never doubted it, not for a second."

-19:07pm Virginia-

The plane had landed at 16:13pm, and naturally other than Chris and Morgan who had gone into the office to organise the paperwork from the case, the group had all headed home. Reid had gone to collect Anna from school, and then Eva and James from the baby-sitter. JJ had called Will and he had got her from the airfield after he had picked Henry from Pre-Kindergarten. Rossi had headed home, and so had Emily, Hotch picking up Jack from school before heading home as well.

Chris's fingers flew over the keyboard, her eyes never leaving the screen other than to look down at her file. She was so intently vested in the file, she didn't notice a shadow sneaking up behind her, until a hand placed itself on her shoulder. Jumping, she instantly reached for her Colt, spinning and holding it in an offensive position. Morgan backed away quickly, hands in the air and grinning at her playfully.

"Whoa, sugar mama. What's got you so jumpy all of a sudden?" he asked jokingly, and she chuckled apprehensively, trying to disguise her heavy breathing. With a shaky 'nothing' she holstered her Colt, running her hand through her hair. Morgan frowned, leaning against the railing for the upper level offices. He crossed his arms, a single eyebrow cocking as he looked at her. "Now I know you ain't telling me the truth, Chris."

"It's just... nightmares, you know? I'm fine. Really," she smiled tightly, but she knew he wasn't away to let it go. Licking her lips, she looked at the picture of Reid, Anna, Eva and James on her desk and closed her eyes for a moment, before slumping in her seat. "I love this job, I really do. I've been doing for coming up to three years and nine months. That's only a moth shy of how long Anna has been alive. I love it, and I love you all like family... but this job isn't any easier than when I started."

"I'd be worried if it was," Morgan stated, and Chris pursed her lips, her head bowing. He cocked his head to the side, trying to get her to look him in the eyes. Chris turned to him, knitting her hands together, her elbows resting on her knees and chin resting on her clasped fists.

"You know what I mean, Derek. When I was a nurse... we spent our time trying to help the people who's lives had been saved. Who were on the road to recovery, or dying because of something we couldn't do anything about. I won't say I didn't have nightmares, because I did, but they were few and far between. But this... this job... I see people who are dead, butchered and there was nothing I could do to help save them. The only thing I can do is help catch the UnSub who did it, and I feel worthless because of it."

"What we do means just as much as what you used to do, Chris. You know these people need us, we need to do this job to protect people in the future from these UnSubs. You shouldn't feel worthless," he told her, and she looked away from him, biting her lip.

"Do you know that part of my job requires me to sort out all the files in JJ's office? She has about... one hundred and seventy files in there. I have sorted through everyone of those files, catalogued them by alphabetical order, than by case type and then by the brutality of the case. JJ, she has to then go through each of those files to select one for us. One case. That is what makes me feel worthless. That for one killer we catch, there is still another hundred out there, running free," Chris declared, and he shook his head, before playfully knocking on her forehead.

"You can't think into it that much, sugar mama. It'll drive you absolutely nuts. You need to focus on the fact that we catch at least one of those sons of bitches, and all the good things we have our lives, not that other stuff," he told her and she grinned at him, albeit humourlessly. Her eyes went back to her picture and she inhaled deeply, and stoo, looking Morgan dead in the eye.

"Okay. I'll look at the good side, if you promise me something, okay?" she asked, and he furrowed his eyebrows, but agreed. Chris placed her hands on his arms, looking at him seriously. "If anything happens to me, anything at all... you gotta look after Spencer and the kids. Anna's in sixth grade. She can get through a whole grade in six months, Derek. By the time she's nine, she's gonna be finished high school and she will follow her dad and go to university. Don't let her waste her life on just that okay? She's smart, hell she's a genius, but don't let her be only a genius."

"You're starting to sound like you're dying there, Chris," he said, and she grit her teeth. "What's going on with you? Why are you asking me this?"

"Morgan, please. Just promise me," she pleaded, her eyes boring into his and he exhaled heavily, before giving in. She gave him a thankful glance, before hugging him tightly and then turning back to her desk, sitting down on her swivel seat. "Thank you, Derek. Now, let me get back to work. I have to finish this paperwork before tomorrow."

Morgan scoffed, and pulled her chair away from the desk, causing her to pout and look up at him. "Oh no you don't, sugar mama. You ain't doing any work until I'm sure that you've got your head on right again. I'll finish this, you go and see your kids," he pushed and she shook her head, protesting. "It wasn't a suggestion, Chris. Go home. I'll finish this."

"I... oh, fine. I'll see you tomorrow," she gave in, and he grinned slyly. She rolled her eyes, and kissed his cheek, before collecting her handbag and coat. "Goodnight, Derek."

"'Night, sugar mama."

-19:34pm Virginia-

Emily stood nervously outside Hotch's home, twisting the handle of her bag nervously as she tried to work up the courage to knock. Inwardly, she cursed herself for such cowardice. She was a forty two year old woman, and she was scared to face her boss, when she faced danger nearly every day on her job. Swallowing her fear, she rose her hand and knocked on the door.

Only a moment after she had knocked, did the door swing open and the beaming face of seven year old Jack Hotchner appear before her. "Aunty Emmy! You are here! I missed you so much!" he said happily. He latched onto her waist, and Emily laughed nervously, stroking the seven year old boy's sandy haired head. The boy looked just like Haley, except for his bright, hazel eyes. "Guess what! I learned how to tie my shoe laces! And I painted you a picture! Do you want to see it? My teacher says it's really good."

"Of course I want to see it, but first, I need to talk to your daddy, is that alright? And then you can show me how you can tie your laces and the picture, yeah?" she queried and he nodded rapidly, grabbing her hand and dragging her into the house excitedly. Emily chuckled under her breath, nearly tripping over her heels as Jack dragged her through to the livign room, and pushed her down onto the couch.

"You gotta wait here, okay? I'll go get daddy. He's making me spaghetti!" Jack said, as hyper as any seven year old could be. Emily grinned at him, bobbing her head and watching ashe rushed from the living room, shrieking 'Daddy!' at the top of his voice. Just being in the boys presence was enough to put her at ease, and she stood, treading over to the front door that Jack had left open and shutting it.

She could hear Jack's voice complaining in the kitchen as Hotch told him insistently that he wasn't supposed to answer the door, exclaiming that it was only 'Aunty Emmy' in that huffy tone that only a child could have, petulant that he wasn't in the wrong. Emily crossed the room again, sitting down on the grey sofa, her hands clasping in her black denim clad lap.

A few moments later, Hotch appeared, wiping his hands on a dish towel. He was dressed casually, in denim jeans and a polo shirt, with no shoes on. He set the dish towel on the back of the couch, Emily standing to greet him and unable to process any actual words. His expression was guarded, not having expected her. Se stammered, and then scowled at her inability to actually speak.

"We need to talk," he stated, gravely, and she closed her mouth, her already creamy skin turning white slightly. He gestured to the couch, and she looked at it, before sitting again. He sat on the edge of the coffee table opposite her, legs apart and bent at the knees, hands clasped. "Emily, I want to apologise for the position I put you in this morning. I understand that it was a sensitive situation, and I was rather... direct about my feeling for it. I didn't mean to put any pressure on you, nor want to make you uncomfortable."

"Aaron... I... Look. I was a little... out of sorts. It's not the kind of situation I frequently find myself in, waking up naked in a hotel room with my boss. So naturally I was a little weird about it, and I am sorry about that. It all just came as a shock to me," Emily told him, bluntly, and he nodded slowly, digesting what she was telling him. For a moment, the urge to just kiss him swelled within her, at the pensive look on his face, his brow furrowed and lips in a straight line and she wondered how it would be received.

If what he had said this morning was anything to go by, it would probably be very happily accepted, but Emily wasn't sure if she would risk it. If he pushed her away, she was pretty sure she would break inside. Hotch finally spoke again, gazing straight into her eyes.

"Emily, I'm too old to play games, and to say that I don't want you. I do want you, and I do like you. And I would want to see if this could go somewhere, if you wanted to. But if you don't I'm not putting any pressure on you. I don't want things between us to become awkward or tense. We are friends, and if that's all you want to be, then... I can handle it. But I can't do this back and forth thing," he said, and Emily admired his honesty. Not many men she knew would be so forward, or directive about it. He was giving her options, he was giving her an out.

She licked her lips, thinking it over. He was right, he was too old to play games, but then again, so was she. If they did this, it was all or nothing. No second guessing, because they had this one chance. If it went pear shaped, that was it. She needed to decide if it was worth it. Taking a deep breath, she ran her eyes over him, from his dark eyes, to his oh-so-kissable lips to his taut upper body before looking back at his eyes, which seemed to burn into her, searching for an answer. Luckily, she was just as good as he was at the cold front.

It was a risk... a very dangerous, and calculated risk... But was it one worth taking? Could she do it? Emily bit her lip, and then nodded slowly. It was too good to miss. If she didn't take the chance now, she might never get it again. "Okay... lets do it," she articulated and he blinked, his mask slipping as he realised what she was saying. "But we have to take it slowly. No repeats of last night. We have to do this right."

"Naturally. Too much in danger if we rush into this," he agreed, but she could already see his eyes lighting up. She smiled at him, warmly and he flashed her his dimples in response, something she loved to see. "We should tell the team," he proposed and she concurred. Garcia would eat her alive if she kept this a secret and JJ would happily let her, while Chris would just roll her eyes and secretly be upset for weeks on end if Emily didn't tell her.

"So, we're doing this then?" she questioned, nervously, and he grinned, his head bobbing. She chuckled, and scrunched up her nose slightly, when an excited Jack rushed between them, grabbign Emily's hand.

"Are you done talking to Daddy yet, Aunty Emmy? Cause I got my painting to show you and my shoes and you promised that I could show you once you had done talking to Daddy and it looks like you are done talking to Daddy cause you have gone all quiet like my class does when the teacher pus her hand in the air," Jack rambled with large hopeful eyes. Emily's eyes fluttered in surprise, before she smiled broadly at him, bowing her head.

"Yay, come on, it's in my room!" he cheered, and Emily was pulled of the couch by the eager boy. She looked over at Hotch helplessly, who just smirked in response, leaving her at the mercy of his son to finish dinner.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Emily?" he called down the hallway, and there was a brief pause of silent before she called back 'If it's no bother' sounding obviously flustered. He cracked a little at that, stirring Jack's spaghetti hoops in the saucepan.

She was staying for dinner.