A/N: As promised, here is Chapter 6! I am determined to keep teasing you, please forgive me! Think of it as building suspense or hyping it up. Either way, I hope enjoy this chapter. By the way, your reviews for the last chapter were great! Thanks a lot, when I get reviews like that- it makes me want to write more immediately after! So anyway...please enjoy and review! Also, I finally switched to Cloud's P.O.V! I just couldn't resist building on how confused he is!
Last night felt like such a dream. However, it wasn't often my dreams took such a strange turn. Not to mention, unless it was one of those rare occasions in which a person dreams about dreaming- then it hadn't been a dream. It was strange, confusing.
I vaguely remembered falling feathers, gliding past my eyes with a shallow dance- not even trying to hide their darkness. Those feathers, they caused Sephiroth to enter my dream- then he caused Genesis to appear, who caused Valon (character from CloudxZack story) to materialize, who-in turn- brought Zack into the picture.
Memories had flooded my mind, as they often did whilst I was asleep. Memories of my battles with Sephiroth, memories of Zack staring at a black feather he had retrieved from Genesis, memories of Valon and Zack teasing me- just like they used to. It made my heart ache. I missed my days in ShinRa. It may sound strange, but they were the most care-free times of my life. I would spend days on end with Zack, my main concern being Valon and his pranks. My dream didn't- for the first time- turn to Valon's betrayal and Zack's death.
No. I was interrupted before such sad thoughts could fill my head. By what? By the familiar sensation in my crotch.
Then, my dream took a drastic turn.
Images of Zack and...and I...doing stuff.
Zack running his hands down me, whispering words of comfort to my 15-year-old self as his cold hand slipped into my boxers, wrapping itself around my manhood. It was strange...as far as I remembered, Zack's hands had been hard and rough (much like my own) rather than soft. But, who cared?
I started touching Zack too, moaning at our activities.
And then?
Then I woke up.
I awoke to find myself painfully hard, with Denzel beside me. And, I felt disgusted. How could I get in such a state with Denzel sleeping next to me? Had I touched him accidently? Did he know?
It was awful to believe that I might have...that I could...
But, Denzel would have said something if I...wouldn't he? Unless he was too traumatized...
I pushed the thoughts aside as I slipped from beneath the covers, careful to avoid waking the small boy curled up in the sheets. The sight brought a faint smile to my lips, so faint that I doubt anyone else would have noticed it had they been watching. But, as long as I was aware of it, nothing else mattered.
He seemed so peaceful, draped in silken sheets, his face relaxed. But, I turned away quickly. I wouldn't like it if someone watched me sleep, so I wasn't going to watch someone else do the same.
I gathered some clean clothes from my wardrobe, slinging them on the edge of the bed- thoughts of Zack and Denzel and how alike they were rushing through my mind as I did.
Excitable, loving, innocent, pure, kind, generous, accepting and, most of all...they both care for me.
They really were quite similar, not in appearance, but in heart.
I shook my head at my foolish thoughts, ridding myself of any comparison. If I kept trying to find similarities between them, I may have ended up falling in love with Denzel.
I sighed as I stripped off my boxers, shame burning inside me as I saw the stain on the front, glancing at the sleeping boy momentarily.
I quickly pulled on a clean pair of boxers and some baggy pants, not bothering with the top for now. I decided to have my shower at a later and more reasonable hour, fully aware of how dim the sunlight was (hardly able to penetrate the cloth of the curtains).
And so, I made my way out of the room, leaving the sweet boy behind me. After quickly checking on, a still sleeping, Marlene, I headed downstairs to the bar.
The house was silent, save for the occasional creak of a floorboard or the rare squeak of a lucky mouse that had escaped Tifa's monstrous wrath. It relaxed me to know that I could enjoy the morning alone, ignoring the bitterness of the air. Just like last night, the wind was cruelly cold- biting at the exposed skin of my torso. However, after fighting Sephiroth, nothing really bothered me too much.
But, the air led my thoughts back to the night before. It was strange. Despite waking after my inappropriate dream, it was the most peaceful night I had ever had. It was something about the way Denzel snuggled up to me, the way I held him close. Tifa was also one to cuddle during the night, but when she did it I grew terribly annoyed. However...Denzel's touch had lulled me into a soft and undisturbed slumber, one I hadn't had since sleeping beside...
No, don't think about him!
A small sigh slipped past my numb lips, stroking them as it left in a futile attempt to bring them back to life. I knew that I had to find a distraction, before all this went too far.
A quick walk will snap me out of it. I decided, ignoring the bite of the beast known as cold.
So, I hurried to the door, hoping to leave all thoughts of Denzel and Zack behind as I left. Just a quick walk around the block would do, anything to forget these buried feelings that were now resurfacing.
A harsh wind sliced at my skin once the door was opened, killing every nerve it stroke as it rushed into the bar. It pained my body, but pain was good. Yeah, pain would help me forget.
"What the-?" I said, rather startled as my bare foot connected with something that wasn't the ground. I glanced down, wriggling my toes on top of the object. An envelope. I came to the conclusion before even seeing it with my eyes, recognising the feel of the thick paper.
It's too early for post.
I groaned to myself as I bent down, picking up the envelope hurriedly.
Okay, I'll read this and then go for a walk.
I assured myself that the walk was coming as I shut the door, my body loosening in relief at the loss of cold as I trudged over to the front of the bar again.
The envelope had no stamp, which explained why it was here before the post. The sender must have delivered it himself/herself during the night or the early morning. The envelope itself seemed old and crinkled, rough to the touch.
I sighed as I opened it, pulling out a small square of paper. I examined both sides of the paper with fading hope, realizing that it wasn't worth my time. Save for three measly words, the paper was blank. So, I read the words, not really seeing the point.
'Friends Live On'
My fingers snapped open instantly, dropping the paper onto the surface of the bar. I glared at the words with eyes wide, my heart thumping at a pace that rivalled that of which it pumped during the battle with Sephiroth mere months ago. My body froze, not from cold but from fear as I reread the words.
'Friends Live On'
'Friends Live On'
'Friends Live On'
I shook my head, my mouth opening to shout at the paper, to tell it that it was being ridiculous. However, I managed to gather my senses before the cry left my lips. Losing all strength in my body, I slumped onto one of the bar stools, burying my face in my hands. It just couldn't be. In three seconds, the paper would be gone. Yeah, that was it. It was just an illusion, a cruel mirage created by the morning. Or...it was a dream and I would wake up.
1
Yep, I would snap out of it any second now. Those words would be gone and I would continue life in peace, never to be haunted by them again.
2
That's right. I would feel like an idiot for imagining such ridiculous things, I would open my eyes to see the wood- no paper resting upon it.
3
Here goes.
I moved my hands, allowing my eyes to peer through my shaking fingers.
Damn it!
It was real. The paper was there, the words still lingering on its surface, scratching at my eyes without mercy.
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
My heart felt as though the cool blade of Masume had pierced it, plunging my body into a terrible cold. Never had I been so frightened, so scared, so hopeless. I was Cloud. I was meant to be strong and emotionless...
'Friends Live On'
I knew those words well. They were familiar, yet from a time long ago. It was like meeting someone you hadn't seen for a long time- their face seemed so recognisable yet they appeared so...distant.
I slowly reached out, my fingertips shivering from fright as they made their way through the cold air. Slipping my hand inside the envelope, I felt my fingers curl around a thin yet hard object. It felt like a small twig...no...
I pulled he object out.
For the second time in mere moments, my fingers snapped open- dropping the object onto the wood.
There it was.
It glistened it the dim light of the morning sun, its white fibres causing a heavenly glow around it. It landed gracefully on the wood, stroking its surface briefly before coming to a halt.
Sephiroth...
"Is this the pain you felt before, Cloud? Let me remind you...this time you won't forget."
A flash of black and the fall of shadows.
Genesis...
"Then I shall willingly accept my fate. But, I'll take the world with me!"
A burst of darkness, casting its shadow upon the ground as it shattered, raven shards falling.
Angeal...
"His wings were different from Genesis's. I know that he's not a monster, Cloud. You believe me, right?"
Stories of shimmering white.
Valon...
"Laughter can't save me anymore, Cloud. It's over...I don't deserve friends like you."
The flash of glowing white, the fall of heavenly sentinels as they danced to the ground.
All of them...feathers.
Just like my dreams.
And now, sitting before me on the wood of Tifa's bar, was a similar feather. It was bleach white, like those belonging to the angels in all of those children's stories. Beautiful, yet haunting.
"Valon..." It came out as a whisper, my eyes glancing between the words and the feather. They pointed to one thing. I now knew who had sent the envelope and its contents...
'Friends Live On'
Those words were a promise between three young men in SOLDIER, a sworn duty to protect each other's memory even if they died. I could remember...Zack, Valon and I made that promise using those words.
Then there was that feather. Only Angeal and Valon had such feathers.
But, Valon died.
You don't know that.
He couldn't have survived.
Are you sure?
Then why didn't he find us?
Shame?
I growled under my breath as I debated the matter with myself. There was no other conclusion to be made...Valon had sent these...
"Cloud?"
My head snapped up at the whisper, my ears finally picking up the faint sound of shuffling footsteps. I quickly threw the paper and the feather back into the envelope, slipping it behind the bar as fast as I could as the footsteps approached.
"Cloud?" The voice repeated, sounding far closer than before.
I turned myself to face the intruder of this quiet morning.
Instantly, I gulped, returning all of my strength to the deepness of my stomach as I swallowed.
"Denzel, what are you doing up?" I murmured, my lips still numb.
"I don't know. How about you?" The pyjama-clad boy shuffled forwards, leaving the safety of the staircase to approach me.
"I just woke up." I said, not really having a reason myself. I watched as the boy made his way over, realizing that he wasn't going to stop until we were touching. Was he expecting endless hugs now just because he slept with me once?
That came out wrong...
"Thanks." The boy wrapped his arms around my middle as best he could (what with me being seated and everything) and buried his face in my lap.
No, no! Don't put your mouth anywhere near...
"For letting me sleep with you."
"It's okay." I said, a little quickly. I reached down and lifted the boy up, dragging his face away from my crotch. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I placed him on my knee instead, giving him a forced smile. He instantly collapsed on me, burying his head into my shoulder and wrapping his arms around my neck.
I sighed into his hair, actually finding the touch soothing. It was unusual for me to actual want to be touched, but something about the brunette relaxed me...kinda like when I used to hang around with Zack. A new guilt filled me at that moment. Not guilt relating to Zack's death nor to Aerith's death. No. This was a new guilt. One that concerned the boy now clutching at me protectively.
Denzel.
Just like Tifa had said, he adored me. He wanted me to be his father figure and yet, I had treated him like an insignificant leaf on the wind- giving him hardly any notice. How cruel could one man be? I wasn't alone, I had everything a guy could want. Tifa, Denzel and Marlene. It would all be perfect if I wasn't...if I wasn't...gay. If Tifa and I were together, officially, then it would all be norma-
"Can we go back upstairs?" He asked, nuzzling my neck again. I gave him a quick nod, before gathering the boy in my arms carefully- the way you would hold a baby. Slowly, I got to my feet, holding him close to me, watching him bury his face in my neck. Why did he keep doing that?
Well, so much for that walk.
I battered myself (mentally) for not going through with my original plan. But, I wanted Denzel to go back to sleep, the boy didn't need to be up this early, and the warm bed sounded so inviting at the moment.
My eyes didn't even glance at the bar as I strolled past, all thoughts of the feather and the note having left my mind. Instead, I carried the small boy up the stairs, careful not to wake Marlene. Once I reached the top of the stairs, I turned right to head to his room- not really wanting him so close to me at the moment. However, I felt something tug on my arm. Looking down, I instantly saw the determination in his little face and I knew that he was going to win.
"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, a pout forming on his lips. I knew the technique well. Long ago, when I still had my innocence, I used to do the same to anyone who I wanted to control- mainly Zack. I never thought something so simple would work on me, especially being an ex-master of said technique. But, I turned and headed back to my room nonetheless.
The sun seemed a bit brighter as it glided through the material of the curtains, now able to penetrate the fabric with ease. However, I knew it was still early despite not having actually checked the time via the clock downstairs.
I placed Denzel on Tifa's side of the bed, hoping that she wouldn't come home before he left the bed. She would tease me about being a 'father' and all that. Don't get me wrong, I was trying my best to be a good father figure, but even being teased about that would be annoying.
Deciding to abandon all plans of that walk, I sat on my side of the bed. Just when I was about to pull the sheets over us, Denzel had jumped into me again. I sighed in slight annoyance as his arms wrapped round me again, but didn't dare push him off. Once again, his face found its way to my neck, nuzzling it for the hundredth time that morning. Pretty soon, the boy was practically on top of me, forcing memories of my dream to burst through my mind again.
Zack had been on top of me as well...
Denzel buried his face deeper into my neck, his cheeks turning a deep red from embarrassment. And I knew why. I could feel it. A hard object was prodding my lower stomach, coming from the boy's crotch area. My mouth opened in an attempt to speak at the sudden situation, yet my words failed me. What was I supposed to say to the boy? Poor Denzel must have been mortified to get an erection whilst so close to his idol. I pitied him.
So much like Zack...But so different...
Denzel...
"It's okay." I whispered into his ear, feeling him shiver beneath my breath's cold caress. It was stupid and mere speculation. But, memories of just last night flooded back into my head. I had been asleep but, I hadn't been alone. Denzel had been beside me...Someone had been nuzzling into my neck. In my dreams, it had been Zack who had his nose buried in the space between my neck and shoulder. Zack had never done that to me before, so why would I dream of him doing it? Also, a hand had gripped me. Zack's hands had been rough due to the use of his sword. However, the hand that touched me last night had been soft and gentle.
And now, Denzel was nuzzling my neck and his hands were soft and gentle on my back.
It all made sense now. It hadn't been I who had touched Denzel during my slumber...no. Denzel had planned it all. Since when did he have nightmares? It was all made up. A sly little genius.
I breathed into his ear again, my right hand slipping between us. I still can't explain what possessed me. You would think that an ex-SOLDIER would have more self control. I wasn't a teenager anymore; I was a fully grown warrior. But, I missed those days so much...Days with Zack and Valon, days in ShinRa, days of happiness. Maybe, just this once, I could relive those days.
My fingers slipped past his waistband, entering the boxers beneath his pyjama bottoms. I felt his breathing increase in speed, the breaths coming out short and fast against my neck- filling me with warmth.
This was so wrong. I should have given him a fatherly lecture and explained things. My relationship with Zack had been wrong as well, that relationship had been frowned upon but we didn't care...To relive those days...
My rough fingers slowly curled around the boy's hard member, gently squeezing it.
He yelped against my neck as I touched him.
A morning full of coincidences. My thoughts had been on Zack, who had led my thoughts to Denzel. It was as though the ravenette was guiding me from the lifestream, telling me to move on...I didn't understand how I truly felt towards Denzel. It was difficult to know whether the love stretched beyond platonic, or whether I was just sexually starved.
Either way, all thoughts of the feather and the note left me. I would have to worry about those another time.
A/N: