Chapter 5: Super nerds

With CJ's help, progress on the teleporter was moving along quickly. And strangely enough, Bruce even found himself enjoying the process. At the moment, CJ was peering at a monitor as he twisted a knob to change vibratory frequencies; his expression was the same one that Clark got when squinting for nanites or deciding who to vote for on American Idol.

"You think this amplitude will work?" asked CJ, brushing away the requisite Clark Kent-curl from his forehead.

"Looks good," Bruce approved, "Your handle on quantum mechanics is unheard of in a high schooler."

"Thank you." The weight of this compliment wasn't lost on CJ. He peered up at Bruce and hesitated before he asked, "Hey, what happens when electrons lose their energy?"

Bruce was in the process of recalling his knowledge of atomic theory when CJ gleefully answered it himself: "They get Bohr'd!" He shrugged with a grin. "Yeah, you didn't laugh at that one in my universe either."

Well, Bruce thought, CJ *was* in high school. They worked silently for a moment before Bruce spoke, "How do you know you're dealing with the quantum physics mafia?"

CJ raised his brow.

"You wake up with a horse in your bed that's both dead and alive."

CJ snorted and cupped his hand over his mouth much in the same way that Lois did, and Bruce felt another tug of affection for the kid. It was strange, but Bruce had liked CJ from the moment they met. He was quiet, brooding, and intelligent, and just as well-meaning as Clark. It was clear that Lois and Clark had raised him but Bruce even sensed his own hand in the process. And unlike Batson, CJ seemed to want to listen to him.

"I think we can probably finish before you and Aunt Andrea head to patrol tonight," CJ commented.

This time, Bruce was prepared for the mention of her name. "Andrea and I aren't married."

"Really? That must make Batwoman's patrol a logistic challenge."

Well, he wasn't prepared for this. Being constantly reminded of Andrea while around Batson hadn't been easy, but this was a whole different kind of difficult. Years of practice had taught him not to betray his inner regret and instead he intoned, "There is no Batwoman in this universe."

CJ looked genuinely confused. "…Sorry," he amended quickly, "In my universe, Batman and Batwoman started together. It never occurred to me that they could exist alone."

So there was no Phantasm in CJ's world. Instead of abandoning his plans to become Batman, twenty year-old Bruce had shared his plans with Andy; not only had she encouraged him to follow through, but she had joined him in his fight. And then they had a son of their own and had raised Dick and Tim as they found them.

This was why he hated alternate universes.

Thankfully, CJ deduced that this wasn't a topic that Bruce wanted to discuss and immediately felt embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to discuss my universe with you. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it," Bruce grumbled, "Parallel earths aren't easy for anyone."

CJ nodded, and the two worked quietly but comfortably for another hour before they stepped back to inspect their transporter. It was a cylindrical metal casing attached to the transporter pad; the casting was long enough to fit a person and programmed to vibrate to a frequency that could withstand the energy required to jump from one dimension to another.

CJ broke the silence. "Should we take it for a test run?"

"Let's," agreed Bruce. CJ set a mannequin onto the transporter pad, shut the door to the casing, and stepped back. With a nod, Bruce pressed a series of buttons before he pressed down on the conspicuous red one to active the transporter. Then,

SNAP! CLINK! EXPLOSION!

Instead of the beam of blue light that was expected to peacefully transport the mannequin to a parallel dimension, there was the sound of an explosion. The casing burst open and revealed a flood of blindingly blue light. Bruce grabbed CJ and threw himself over the boy to protect him from the blast.

When there was only the sound of sizzling left, Bruce stood up. "Are you all right?" he demanded of CJ.

CJ shook his head dazedly. "I'm fine." They both looked over to the transporter pad. While the majority of the casing was intact, its door was blown away; inside the left half of the mannequin remained, while the other half was gone. Oh, and the remaining half was on fire.

Bruce grabbed a fire extinguisher and got to work on putting out the flames, while CJ scrambled up to retrieve the door from the other end of the cave. "It's not dented," he reported, "but I guess the hinges got blown off during the teleportation. The tube needs to be kept sealed to transport our entire bodies."

"Green Lantern could help with that but he's off-world," said Bruce. "We could try holding the door close, but it would require someone with meta-level strength." He studied CJ, who seemed to wield the heavy metal casing with relative ease. "Have you inherited any of Clark's Kryptonian powers?"

"Yeah, some of them, at half strength." Bruce couldn't ignore the disgusted face that CJ made at this.

"Let's take a break," Bruce suggested, "We're nearly done and you look beat." (Had any of the Batclan heard Bruce at this moment they would have fallen over in disbelief at the fact that Batman was suggesting that someone take a break. But Bruce felt *protective* of CJ in a strange way… almost as if he wanted to indulge the boy a little. It was almost the way he treated Clark, but he immediately repressed this thought with a scowl).

The two sat in another corner of the Cave to a pitcher of Alfred's raspberry lemonade and a bowl of pretzels. "Having those powers at half-strength must be frustrating," Bruce mentioned casually as a way to investigating his young charge's look of contempt at the subject from before.

"Having them at all is frustrating," muttered CJ with a frown.

"Really?" Bruce was actually surprised. "That's not how I would feel. If I were Superman's son, I'd be glad that I could carry on his legacy. The world will always need a Superman."

"It's not his legacy I want to carry on," CJ sighed, a perfect little picture of teenage angst. "The world isn't going to get a Superman, not in me at least. I can't fly, I can only lift some stuff at half his strength. I don't have his…" CJ sighed again and viciously stuck his hand into the bowl of pretzels.

"…His charisma?" Bruce finished for him.

CJ gave a short laugh without looking up from the bowl. "Yeah, exactly. No matter how much my dad wishes that I had a magnetic personality, I just don't. I don't know how. And I can tell it disappoints him. He never says anything, but even your Clark was upset that I didn't throw a party and act all popular and winning" (he spat these words) "while he was at work today."

Bruce silently groaned at the memory of Batson doing the very same before Ra's had shown up. But he also felt *empathy* for poor little CJ. He was a broody kid and if anyone could relate it was the man who eventually became Batman. "From what I know of Clark, he didn't know about his alien heritage until he was around your age. Ever since then, all he has ever craved is normalcy. To him that means the things that he used to do in Smallville. It's understandable that he wants to have that for his children as well."

"I know. My Uncle Bruce has already tried to explain it to me that way. But that doesn't change the fact that it *sucks* disappointing your dad."

"I know the feeling," said Bruce softly.

CJ finally met Bruce's gaze and gave a lopsided smile. "…Of course. Sorry. Sorry I unloaded on you."

"It's not a problem." Bruce poured himself another glass of lemonade and leaned back. "So what do you do when you're not disappointing Superman?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, I spent most of this year applying to college and I just got into Gotham U. I want to do engineering. Or physics. Or maybe both! I don't know."

"Gotham U? With your skills I could see you excelling even at a place like Caltech or MIT."

CJ blushed. "I got into both, but my parents couldn't afford either."

"Why didn't Bruce Wayne step in?" Bruce queried.

The younger man tossed a pretzel in the air and caught it in his mouth. "He offered, but my parents thought you—he—was being too generous. It really doesn't matter. You went to Gotham U and you turned out just fine. And Batson will be a junior there when I start, so no complaints here. Plus, it'll make being Robin much easier."

Bruce set down his lemonade in astonishment and CJ's hands flew to his mouth. "Oh man," he moaned, his voice muffled, "Ohmanohmanohman. I warned Batson not to blurt out everything, but I'm worse! Seriously, just staple my mouth shut."

"I guess you and Uncle Batman are closer than I thought," was all Bruce could think to say.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't tell my dad! Well, you can't tell him, but don't tell your Clark either!"

"You're secretly Robin?"

"Yes. It was Uncle Bruce's idea and… um, I should just call it a night, huh?"

Bruce agreed quickly. "It's probably for the best. I'll call Kent in the morning to help us hold the teleporter casing together for one last test run. Hopefully you and Batson will be back to your earth by tomorrow before either of us learns too much about the other. Alfred is upstairs; he'll show you to your room."

CJ walked up the stairs, muttering to himself, and Bruce turned his attention to that night's patrol. He couldn't help but wonder what it would like to have CJ suit up and come out with him. The prospect wasn't unpleasant; he was sure that the poor kid's tongue wasn't usually that loose. He then wondered what it would be like to have Batson patrol with him. That one would probably be too high to tell his left from right.

But the same thought kept nagging at him: why had his counterpart allowed CJ to become Robin while refusing to let Batson do the same? Especially considering that Batson's parents were Batman and Batwoman… it seemed strange. Could it have been that he was trying to compensate for his mistakes with Batson through CJ? Or was he, like Clark, determined that his progeny should have a normal life at all costs?

Xx

The next morning being Saturday, Bruce awoke at around ten o'clock after putting in three hours of sleep. He contacted Clark over his comm. link while he was still under the covers to come over and help with the teleporter, then got dressed and made his way downstairs to the kitchen to see what Alfred and CJ were up to. Alfred met him halfway at the steps instead.

"Master Bruce, you have a visitor," announced the faithful butler.

"Is it Clark, Alfred?"

"Not quite, sir," responded Alfred, "I'm afraid it's Miss Lois Lane."

"Of course it is," muttered Bruce, "because so far all of this has been too easy." Alfred looked sympathetic and Bruce sighed. "Show her in, Alfred, but keep her away from CJ."

"Very good, Master Bruce."

A few minutes later, Bruce walked into the living room and saw her; something inside of him twitched. He and Lois and hardly seen each other after they broke off their brief engagement years ago and these rare meetings were never in Gotham. There were no romantic feelings between them anymore, but out of respect for Clark they had established a silent pact to not stay in touch. Yet despite all of that, Bruce felt something in him shift (was it in fear?), because Lois Lane was a veritable force of nature.

That force of nature was currently leaning forward with her chin resting on her hands when Bruce cleared his throat. She broke out of her reverie and grinned up at him. "Bruce."

"Lois," he greeted as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "What a pleasant surprise." He sat across from her and waited for her to speak. Thankfully there was no need to play Brucie with Lois.

"Are you almost done with that time machine?" she asked.

"Almost," he agreed smoothly, while having no idea what she meant (one of Kent's awkward cover stories, most likely).

She looked around and started wringing her hands. "I'm here because… well… I was wondering if you've noticed anything strange about Clark lately."

"What do you mean?"

"He's been acting more secretive than usual and just—" The sound of a loud crash caused them both to look towards the door where an unsuspecting CJ (who Alfred had not managed to find in time) had just knocked over a vase. CJ gaped at Lois when he saw that it was *her* with Bruce, and, without hesitating, he ran in the other direction, not even bothering to try to explain his presence in Wayne Manor.

Lois looked from CJ to Bruce and to his utter surprise she burst into tears. "Oh god, Bruce!" she sobbed, "So you're helping him! I thought it wasn't true, but now it must be! CJ is Clark's son!"

"Um…" How in the world did Lois figure it out?

"I knew the minute I saw him, but I didn't want to believe it! He's so upstanding and good! He's so damn moral, or so I THOUGHT!" She snatched a cushion next to her and buried her face in it.

Bruce's face softened. "Lois," he said, "Your Clark doesn't have a son."

"Well he's not my Clark anymore, is he?" cried Lois as she tossed the cushion aside, unwilling to be consoled, "I swear to god, Bruce, if CJ's mother is Lana Lang I'm going to shove a piece of kryptonite up his—"

Bruce hid a smile and took a seat next to her. "Hey, Lois," he said gently as he put a hand on her back, "You've got nothing to worry about, trust me. Clark is going to come clean soon."

"So it's not Lana?" she asked through sniffles.

"No," Bruce confirmed. She looked straight at him and they exchanged the tiniest of smiles.

Unfortunately, Superman himself chose that moment to appear in the room. One look at Bruce and Lois nestled comfortably in each other's arms beaming away at each other and his worst nightmare became reality (in real reality, Bruce and Lois were actually seated at a respectable distance from each other and Bruce had only been patting Lois shoulder, but Clark's jealousy clouded all of his judgment). Lois and Bruce only saw the look of utter hurt all over Clark's face before he disappeared in a blur of red and blue.

The two left in the room groaned. Lois was the first to speak. "Dammit!"

Bruce touched his hand to his ear. "J'onn, can you give me Superman's location?"

J'onn's voice crackled to life in his ear. "I'm sorry, Batman, but Superman has switched off his comm. link."

Of course he had. He stood up. "Clark's off the grid," he frowned. "I'm going to go after him."

Lois flopped back onto the couch. "That means he's in Smallville."

"I thought so too."

She peered him. "Of course you did. You're his work wife."

Bruce only shrugged at the truth. He supposed that it was an accurate description of their working relationship.

"…Bruce? Bring him back. Tell him I love him. I'll even accept his bastard child."

Bruce looked back from the door. "I'll make sure that you get to tell him yourself."

I feel bad for doing this to Clark, but not TOO bad because the next chapter is full of Bruce/Clark bonding fluff *sigh* AND Wonder Woman finally makes her debut in this story. Stay tuned!