AN: Skipping ahead a bit because it's tedious writing out filler chapters (the therapy, chatting, etc.) On to important stuff – oh, if I mentioned Justin's birthday before now in the first "season" then forgive me, I made one up in this one. I also don't know how long particular injuries take to heal, so bear with me!

And for Efern: .com/watch?v=R6ARIMXufwA

Just go to Youtube and plug that into the end.... it's the video for the song you suggested. Hopefully Youtube (nasty people that they are) won't take it down. Trying to find another good site to back it up on just in case.

Still looking for song suggestions, too!

~*~*~

Chapter Six: Subdued Artist

Monday June 21 1999

Justin sat stiffly on a stool in front of an easel and a large pad of paper. He held a thick pencil in one hand and just stared. At the paper, at Jamie, at Brian (who was doing his PT with Bill on the other side of the room.) He itched to draw his lover but his hand just wouldn't cooperate.

"Try again." Jamie encourage from the side. "Go slowly. The more you push the more stressed out you get. You need to focus and stay calm." Justin nodded and brought his hand up to the paper. While he was ambidextrous, his left hand was his weaker hand and way out of practice – his injuries didn't help and just made it weak and shaky.

But he tried his best – he managed to draw the basic outline of Brian, Bill, and the weights they were using. Then his hand shook and he had to pull back before it got out of control and he ruined the picture. The lines on the paper were a bit shaky, but they didn't look horrible. The details were going to be a bitch to put in though…

"Do they hurt?" Justin glanced at Jamie. "Your shoulders." Justin nodded, wishing he could rub the offending shoulders but unable to do so. So he flexed them with a wince. "Try some detail, darken some of the lines."

"S-sure." He pushed the pencil back up and focused on darkening some of the main lines he would keep in the drawing. If he rested his arm on the pad, he found it gave him better control. But he had to be careful not to smear anything.

By the time he had a basic darkened outline, Brian was sitting by him and watching. They exchanged grins and Justin stopped drawing, flexing his fingers. "Looking good – you'll be taking PIFA by storm in no time."

"I have… s-six months. M-More if I n-need it." Justin reminded him. He had decided to not do any extra classes that semester – he would focus on finishing high school, healing and regaining his strength. The administrators at PIFA had been more than willing to work with that considering the circumstances, though they did want him and would hold his spot for next fall even if he didn't take extra courses.

"You'll be pretty much healed by then." Bill said from the other side of the room, where he was putting his stuff away. "Just minor aches and pains; and whatever's left from the trauma."

"Whoopie." Justin sighed.

"Think positive." Jamie said. "You stutter, sure. You have some motor control problems. You get migraines. You have emotional moments. But it could be a lot worse – you could have died, you could have had even worse brain damage." Justin shrugged. "You're here with Brian, getting better. Slowly but surely."

"And you're being released in a few days." Brian spoke up. "We'll be able to go home." Justin smiled softly – Brian had stayed with him even after he'd been discharged, leaving only to stretch his legs or get some food.

Justin merely shrugged and raised his hand – he wanted to put a few more lines in the picture before giving up. Before pencil could touch paper his hand spasmed and his arm jerked. Thankfully the pencil wasn't already touching the pad of paper or the drawing would have been ruined.

"FUCK!" He cradled the twitching appendage to his stomach. Brian was by his side in a flash and he let the other man ease his arm out. He mumbled a few more curses.

"It's all right, Justin." Jamie was saying. Brian gently began to rub his arm. "Calm down and ride it out." Justin took several deep breaths and the shaking began to subside. "I think we're done for now." She said. Then noticing his pensive expression she asked; "What's on your mind?"

"T-twenty min-utes." Justin whispered. "H-how c-can I handle a wh-whole period…?" He trailed off.

"You don't have to, not yet." Brian said reassuringly. "You have time and they're willing to work with you." Jamie nodded.

"What brought this on?" She asked.

"Th-they're getting a d-divorce." Justin muttered. Jamie glanced at Brian, who nodded. "I c-can't help but t-think…" Jamie moved to sit in front of the pair, where she could see Justin's face.

"That it's your fault? Nothing you ever did would be enough to end a true marriage." Jamie said softly. "It may have contributed a bit in making tempers flare but it would NEVER cause this sort of break-up. I talked with your mother and from what you've told me it sounds like the reason is because of your father's extra curricular activities."

"B-but they still m-might be to-together…" Brian shook his head and looked at Jamie.

"Possibly." Whatever he expected her to say, it wasn't that. "But we won't know that now. You would have had to tell them at some point."

"B-Brian never did." Justin pointed out.

"Brian?" Brian sighed.

"My mom's a devout Christian and my dad's a drunk – they would have killed me, probably literally. It was safer for me to not tell them PLUS it isn't really any of their business." Brian shrugged. "But I never hid it from them or lied. I evaded the truth and worked around them."

"Could you have done that for long Justin?" Jamie asked. Justin shook his head. "It's better for you, then, that you told them as soon as you knew yourself. And whether that was the catalyst, or Craig's infidelity was… we don't know. And your mom is telling you that YOU weren't the main cause, so we should probably trust her word on this."

"I… guess y-you're right." Justin finally said, sniffling. "W-what about c-college?" He asked after a minute. "I-if I go, he won't h-help."

"We'll figure something out." Brian repeated. But he could see the wheels turning in Justin's head and groaned.

"M-maybe if I go to… D-dartmouth?" He questioned, more to himself than anyone in the room. "H-he would pay and h-he and mom w-would…"

"That's bullshit." Brian scoffed gently.

"B-but i…"

"Don't even finish that thought. People cause their own pain – if your dad can't accept you as you are then the whole lot of you are better off without him." Justin blinked.

"Are you scared?" Jamie piped up gently. "Of being on your own? Finding your own path?" Justin bit his lip, then nodded slightly. "Everyone goes through this – it's normal. Have you given any thought to what you want to do other than draw or paint? What you would do if you weren't as successful as you hope?"

"N-not really." Justin admitted. "C-computer work, d-design maybe." Jamie nodded.

"Then go for it." Brian said with a grin. "You're not alone – you've got me, Deb, your mom, the gang. And you had less than that when we first met."

"I re-remember."

"You were scared shitless – I could tell, you know - I was sure you'd run back home, but you didn't. You said, 'I'm going with him.'" Justin grinned shyly as Brian hugged him. Justin pulled away with a chuckle.

"I c-can't believe you r-remember that, considering you c-couldn't even r-remember my name." They grinned at each other.

"And look what happened." Brian's arms were back around his shoulders.

"I t-turned into a b-big queer." Jamie smiled at the pair as they talked.

"Yeah – lucky for you or I wouldn't have wasted my time." Brian teased. "But it's too late now, there's no turning back." Justin sighed. "Do you want to turn back?"

"No." Justin said sharply. "N-never." They sat in silence. "C-could we m-make a deal?" Brian nodded. "I-if I'm physically r-ready for PIFA in t-the spring, we'll make it w-work. I-if not…" He trailed off.

"I think it's a reasonable deal." Jamie piped up when Brian turned to her. "But Justin, you can't back out if you get worried about payments unless it TRULY can't be worked out." She stressed. "You've come so far already in PT and OT so I really don't see you having any problems by the time Spring Semester rolls around."

"I have to agree." Bill, who had been silent up until that point, said. "You're doing great in rehab with me – you're swimming better and longer, you're able to add a few numbers to your workouts... It's pretty impressive."

"S-sure." Justin smiled. Brian squeezed him gently.

"And don't give up hope on your mom – she's still fighting to get Craig to pay for part of your schooling." Brian reminded him. "And you're mom's one hell of a lady – she should be able to get something."

TBC