The first time Mike Chang had met Noah Puckerman, the dude had been a string bean. Not like a literal string bean. Mike thought he was kinda like a bean stalk – rangy with all these limbs sticking out.
It was the summer before high school when Puck became the sex god everyone knew him as (though Mike doubted that giving yourself the title made it renown but whatever). One minute Puck was Bruce Banner and the next thing the guy had guns. These weren't just regular arms either. Like Mike was pretty sure you could knock a guy unconscious with Puck's bicep.
(This actually happened the second day of freshman year when some guy had made a comment about Puck's mohawk. For someone who claimed to be this oh so macho guy, the dude sure spent a lot of time on his hair)
Mike had watched as girl after cougar had fallen under the spell of Noah Puckerman. Puck walked around with this annoying smirk on his face half the time and Mike was pretty sure if the guy wasn't his friend, he'd think he was an arrogant asshole.
Actually, scratch that, despite their friendship Mike still thought Puck could be kind of a douche.
Case in point had been his self-proclaimed slushie war on Rachel Berry.
One minute Mike hadn't really known who the girl was, and the next thing he knew Puck had dragged him and Mike to the 7/11 every morning so he could purchase a Big Quench. At first they had been cherry-flavoured but after a few days Puck had started buying grape. One of the guys on the football team had asked Puck about the sudden change and only gotten some smart ass reply in response. Which was pretty much what every conversation with Puck was like.
But back to Rachel. Mike had tried getting Puck to stop with the slushie facials. He really had. The conversation had went something like:
'Puck, man, I get that slushiefying Berry is some kind of fetish for you but dude, she's like a girl.'
'Chang, if you ever want to reproduce again I suggest you stop talking.'
Okay, so Puck's reply had actually been a grunt but Mike was skilled in "Puck Speak" and he could hear the words despite them not being said. Matt had tried with his whole Shaft thing and gotten blown off. Mike wasn't sure if Finn had attempted talking Puck out of it – but if Finn had said anything and Puck hadn't listened to his best friend, then it was pretty much a lost cause.
So Mike did little things to make Rachel's life easier. He didn't know her but still Mike didn't think anyone deserved to have shit like that done to them.
(He totally would have resorted to physical violence but Puck was huge. And obviously didn't understand Uncle Ben's whole "great power comes great responsibility" speech)
For example one time he'd seen Puck heading towards Rachel and had accidentally tripped and upended the drink all over the floor. Noticing the relieved expression on the girl's face, Mike thought the complete bitch fit Puck had put him through was kind of worth it.
But then one day the slushie facials just…stopped.
There hadn't been this epic announcement of Puck realizing the error of his ways or how he was remorseful and ashamed of his actions.
In true Puck fashion he'd simply said it was getting lame.
Glee happened and then Kurt stopped getting the dumpster treatment as well.
But then, one day out of nowhere, Mike thought he'd gotten his answer.
'Dude, can you believe what Kralownsky did to Rachel?' Mike had asked, shaking his head.
'That bitch is getting a beatdown.' Mike rolled his eyes at Puck's predictable response. He went into what he called his "Pat Morita Zone" and adopted this completely serious pose. Because he needed to say this, and Puck needed to like acknowledge the truth of the matter.
'Yeah well. You kind of started this whole thing right?'
'What the fuck is that supposed to mean Chang?' And this time Mike wasn't at all afraid of Puck's guns because he remembered how nice Rachel was despite the fact that he hadn't really done much to stop her humiliation before.
'Puck man, you made it this personal mission to screw up Rachel's life from the moment she moved here. Now that you've stepped down, it doesn't mean everyone else is.'
Puck muttered something. Mike guessed it was offensive.
He was probably right.
'Yeah well, I'm trying to be less of an asshole,' Puck had finally admitted, looking like he didn't want to be there.
Mike decided to spare him and merely clapped him on the back.
Later Mike had watched fascinated as Puck had stepped up to Rachel's aid. He had to admit it was kind of funny seeing Puck fall under Berry's charm without realizing it.
And they called him dense.
Please.