A/N: Here it is, folks - - another ridiculously long chapter of the budding One Piece SI. This one was a hell of a doozy, but really fun to write. I could not stop grinning throughout the entire chapter, knowing that there is a hell of a plot twist at the end. This is definitely going to be a chapter to remember, I think. It also provides a lot of good characterization and just all around fun, I think. My favorite character to write in this is the All-Seeing Author, simply because he's just so gleefully insane. Think of the most sarcastic dialogue you can, and that's pretty much him.
Sadly, I do not own the rights to One Piece. I don't even own this fic, really, since it falls under the One Piece category and Eiichiro Oda claims all rights to the series and its characters, plot, and locations. I may sue on account of him indirectly stealing the rights to my story - -
All-Seeing-Author (a) gmail com: GET ON WITH IT!
Chapter 6: Rise of the Chronicler! The Second Bounty Poster
Allow me to ask one question: What random omnipotent being worth his salt, who throws a normal person into a different world, doesn't provide his victim's portable smart device with unlimited Internet? Don't get me wrong, I greatly approved of the eternal battery, but no Internet? What was even the point of having my iPod anyway, if I couldn't access the damn Internet!?
I swore creatively, tossing the stupid device through the air like I was trying to pitch a fastball. It splashed into the mud, nearly twenty feet away, around the various marshes, into which it immediately began sinking. I blinked, and then panicked. I scrambled up to my feet, defying my battle-induced agony in favor of dashing as fast as possible to where my iPod was slowly slipping under the mud, swept it back up, and with haste, wiped my sleeve roughly across the screen.
"Does it still work? Does it still work!?" I gasped, pressing the power button.
The screen flicked alive, and I sighed with relief. It's working.
It buzzed, and an email popped up on the screen: Rude. I mean, this iPod isn't actually me, but still. Triggered!
"No you're not," I deadpanned, and slipped the iPod back into my pocket.
My existential crisis averted, I slipped my partly-cleaned, yet still Internet-less, iPod (definitely not salty about that, no sir, no way) into the left chest pocket of my leather jacket and snapped the pocket's flap shut. Then I groaned; every single movement hurt like a bitch, even after having waited at least fifteen minutes for the pain to subside. At least I could actually move without using my powers again - - and hadn't that been something? I'd honestly not expected that to work. It had been something I'd been considering incorporating into my old fanfiction, but I hadn't even meant to use it myself. I wasn't even quite sure how I'd done it. I supposed it was a sort of instinctual thing - - but now that it was confirmed I could control my body at will, no matter what, a lot of possibilities were opened.
Aching with the effort of moving, I stretched and started moving my ass back to Arlong Park.
Every step hurt like the 2016 Presidential election
At last I managed to come upon the crowd of villagers who had gathered to watch the battle in the Park, and upon noticing me, they parted to let me through. I could feel their eyes on my bruises, which were all over my body and face. I laughed in a tough-guy manner, but regretted doing so immediately. It made my ribs ache. Nami stared as I walked past her. I had almost entered Arlong Park when a hand on my shoulder stopped me, and I glanced over it to see the redhead's concerned eyes.
"D-Did you win against Fonti?" she asked, shifting awkwardly. Her hand dropped from my shoulder.
I grinned and gave a thumbs-up. "You better believe it! Man, did he hit hard though… Anyway, what's been happening here?"
She bit her lip and glanced to the side. "Luffy, the moron, got himself stuck in cement, and Arlong threw him in the water. We've got Genzo doing everything he can to keep him alive until someone can break the cement and free Luffy, but Sanji and Zoro are still having trouble in their fights, and Usopp only just returned a minute ago- -"
"Wait, what!?" I exclaimed, my jaw dropping. It was that far into the fight already? And hadn't Usopp finished his battle last in canon? Well, anyway, I didn't have time to - -
"YOU."
A chilling voice directly behind me froze my brain in its tracks. Nami's eyes widened, and she took a hesitant step backward, her gaze moving past me. Shaking, I turned slowly on a dime, deathly afraid of what I would find behind me. And sure enough, towering over me, glowering at me with all the rage of an angry shark, stood Arlong himself. His blue face was twisted in a scowl, looking like he wanted to take his jagged nose and impale my skull with it.
I definitely did not squeal in fright.
"Your presence here can only mean one thing: You defeated one of my dear brothers. You killed Fonti."
...Shit.
Hastily, I waved my arms in front of my chest in denial, shaking my head in terror. "N-n-no, no way, I wouldn't ever k-kill anyone! Fonti's not dead, he's only unconscious, so - -"
"Oi, leave Evan alone! He's not your opponent!" growled Zoro from somewhere in front of us, followed by the clash of swords against swords, and I glanced around Arlong to see Hatchan blocking Zoro from attacking the racist pirate captain.
"Nyuuuu!" Hatchan exclaimed furiously. "I won't let you hurt Arlong-san!"
Arlong's vein pulsed, and his webbed fist clenched and unclenched. "Whether you killed him doesn't matter - - the fact that you still defeated my kin is something punishable by death!" With that, he swiped at me, but definitely not with a squeak, I ducked under his arm and rolled between his legs, scrambling to my feet. Arlong whirled around, but I was already hauling ass to safety… by means of leaping onto the rectangular pool of water that partially divided Arlong Park down the middle.
Yes, onto. I used my ability to walk on water to refrain from falling under, keeping my concentration on the water below my feet. For a moment, Arlong regarded me with surprise, probably having never imagined a human could walk on water. Hell, I had never imagined it possible (okay, there was Brook, but cut me some slack here; until a few hours ago, I'd thought One Piece was just an anime/manga) until I ate the Tempest-Tempest Fruit.
Ripples of shock washed over the villagers. I could feel their shocked stares from outside the gate to the Park. It kind of made the whole thing awkward; in normal circumstances, I wasn't often one to be the center of attention. Yet my unexpected ability had made me as such, without my having wanted it to.
However, Arlong was not stupefied for long.
"You think you can beat me in the water, boy?" he snarled, baring his shark teeth as he glared straight into my eyes. "You made the wrong choice. I'm a fishman! It's natural for us to become even stronger in water than we are on land!"
...Okay, so I may have forgotten that little tidbit of information.
My face paled as he jumped in the water and swam deep enough down that I couldn't see him anymore. The sounds of Sanji's and Zoro's tooth-and-nail fights rose up, along with the occasional miniature explosion as Usopp shot down any mooks who tried to regain consciousness with prompt Explosion Stars. What was I supposed to do? My mind raced back to my history of writing characters with water powers. Perhaps I could feel where Arlong was in the water, so I could dodge his Shark-On Darts? I was fairly certain that would be the move he went with, at any rate, and any help I could have to not become a shish-kebab would be much appreciated.
I squinted, looking down at the water below me, trying to sense Arlong's movements.
A moment passed, and I felt no different. I had received no forethought from the water on where my opponent might be attacking from. I had no idea whether he was to my left, several feet behind me, or directly underneath me.
Well, that ability can be scratched off the list then, I thought, paling even more.
Crap, what do I do?
Um, um, um - -
A distorted rumble of "Shark-On Darts!" jumbled through the water, and I nearly fell in the pool from the shock, Cursing the All-Seeing Author, I sent a random thought to the water, and felt myself lift up into the air. The water beneath my feet blasted into two forceful coils trailing from the bottom of my shoes, propelling me several meters into the air. It wasn't a moment too soon, either; at almost the exact time I did so, Arlong's sawblade of a nose punched out into the air, quickly followed by the rest of his scale-covered body. Like a torpedo, he blasted into the sky, and I cleared his attack by a disturbingly narrow couple of inches. As I shook from the closeness, the water coils continued to propel me higher before at last dissipating, breaking and falling back to the pool in droplets.
I had a lucky break for once. At my current position, I may have fallen into the cement had it not been for the force of my sudden escape tactic. As it was, I tumbled through the sky to the second section of the pagoda, slamming into the red tiles with enough force to knock the wind clear out of my lungs.
"Ouch," I choked, clutching my aching ribs. As if my body wasn't sore enough already - - I'd have to get myself checked out at the local doctor's for sure, once everything was over.
I looked over my shoulder to see what was happening below my perch.
Arlong appeared to have slammed, nose-first, into the right half of the wall between Arlong Park and the coast. It was a quite amusing sight, but I didn't have time to spare to laugh at the pirate captain. This guy was, without a doubt, bad news, and at my current state, there was no way I could take him on. The only reason I'd been able to survive his first special move was because of shounen clichés, and I couldn't rely on having the reaction time to escape the next unscathed.
How could I best escape Arlong?
My eyes strayed to the very breakable-looking windows that opened out onto the slanted tile roof I stood upon.
Breaking and entering was a crime, but… pirate~!
Grinning, I summoned a quick watery pistol from the pool below, and commanded it to press flush with the glass. My aim thus ensured to be true, I mentally fired it, and the window shattered into a million tiny pieces. I again heard shouts of exclamation from Conomi Island's populace, but I ignored them, leaping through the punctured window after again drawing water from the pool to wash away any stray bits of harmful glass on the floor.
I found myself in a room with two bunkbeds, a couple of nightstands, a bookshelf shoved against the back wall, a desk, and a green, oval rug in the center. I supposed it was a bedroom for some of the mooks; they had to have a place to sleep, after all. Blinking, I started to head for the door in the back, but froze when I heard the sound of something heavy landing on the section of pagoda I had just left.
"HUMAN!" Arlong bellowed with unbridled fury, and my blood chilled. "YOU CAN'T RUN FOR MUCH LONGER!"
I didn't waste time looking back, and bolted for the door, leaving it swinging open as I tore through it. It didn't matter whether I closed it again, after all; I'd already broken the window, so he'd know which room I entered.
Alright, now how to shake him off? I wondered, outside the room in a hallway with a staircase leading down and turning, presumably going all the way to the ground floor. On the other side, it rose up and did a sharp 180; I couldn't tell, but assumed it also went all the way up to the top. I took a quick moment to consider my options. It would be safer to go ahead and choose the method that lets me escape the confines of this building… but Arlong might anticipate that, and I do have a bit of headway on him, so he'll have to guess which way I went…
Making up my mind, I dashed up the stairs, hitting the turn just as Arlong appeared through the door. I'd made it out in time. I froze, listening for his movements; he seemed hesitant, but after a moment, his footsteps started up, getting fainter with each footfall. I allowed myself a breath of relief. My gamble had paid off.
At the same time, though, now I couldn't go back down without him seeing me.
...Crap. Didn't think that one through. Now what?
My iPod buzzed. Allowing the All-Seeing Author a quick curse, I slipped it from my leather jacket pocket and powered it on, glaring at the email from him that appeared on the screen:
Nice moves. Say, how close do you think that wall is to the pagoda?
The wall…?
…!
"Lightbulb!" I drawled in the voice of Gru, a small grin turning up my lips for both having a proper reason to use the reference and coming up with an escape route.
I ran back the way I'd come, wincing. Even my muscles' aches had aches. I vaulted myself over the windowsill, landing back out on the slanted roof section, and headed off to the left. The roof, in the classical Japanese style, wrapped around all four walls of the tall building, providing me with an easy path to the back wall. I sidled down carefully, so as not to fall and cause myself even more damage. Peering over the gutter, I was pleased to see the protective wall that ran around the entirety of the base also happened to fall close enough to the roof's edge that one could feasibly hang from said roof, and drop onto the wall without any trouble.
"Alright, ASA," I laughed, grinning in spite of myself, "I've gotta give it to ya. I never would've thought of this."
Turning, I maneuvered myself so that, after a few seconds of work, I was hanging off the edge of the roof by only my hands. My legs almost touched the wall. I released the gutter, and only fell a couple inches before my soles hit the cement.
"Perfect!" I said with a pleased nod.
So, then, now I was out of Arlong Park - - but that left us no closer to defeating Arlong. Luffy, still stuck in the water, couldn't do any fighting unless his cement weight was broken. How could I fix things so that we were back on track? With the new limitation on my power I'd just discovered, I assumed that I could not control water unless I could see it, or was able to concentrate on it specifically. Theoretically, I could smash the cement block holding down Luffy with my powers, but I would have to know exactly where it was It was unfortunate, but having a Devil Fruit meant that I couldn't swim down to Luffy and see where he was myself, and Zoro and Sanji were still locked in their respective duels.
That left one obvious choice.
Nodding to myself, I ran across the wall to the entrance of Arlong Park.
If this didn't work, nothing would.
::NOJIKO::
Nojiko had never been one for idleness. Her entire life, even under Arlong's rule, she'd hidden various weapons away in secret, training with them when no one could see her and biding her time for the day when she could take down the terrible Fishman. She'd become an all-around fighter, skilled with guns, swords, daggers, spears, even javelin throwing. Not a soul in Cocoyashi Village knew of her lone training save for Genzo, who sometimes helped her out when she was starting a new weapon. She'd gotten remarkable at close-quarters combat, given that she had some kind of tool in her hands; karate and other forms of martial arts were still a mystery to her.
Therefore, standing in the crowd like a helpless little girl, forced to watch as total strangers risked their lives for the sake of a single person - - her sister, no less! - - Nojiko's entire body shook with the wrongness of it all.
She wanted to be in Arlong Park, fighting alongside the mossy haired man and his blond friend against Hatchan and Kuroobi. She wanted to help Usopp snipe the various lesser members of the crew whenever they began stumbling to their feet. The young woman wanted to help the brown-haired teen safely escape Arlong's spiteful attack. And yet… Nojiko could do nothing but watch.
It was all so damn infuriating.
And so, when a leather jacketed man popped up on the wall right beside the villagers, while her friends gaped and backed away, Nojiko stepped forward.
"You're the guy who beat Fonti," she said, Nami alongside her nodding.
Her sister tilted her head. "I think you said your name was… Evan, right?"
"Got it in one," he confirmed, grinning. His gaze fell serious again, and he lowered himself off the wall, landing lightly on the grass. Evan winced; his wounds from his fight must've been hurting him something fierce. "Noj - - Er, you there, with the purple hair."
Nojiko blinked. "My hair's not purple, it's blue… and my name's Nojiko, by the way."
"Oh." Evan frowned, a sweatdrop rolling down the back of his head. "I coulda sworn it was purple… well, anyway, Nojiko, I have something I need you to do for me. It's vital for this battle to go well. Think you can handle it?"
The blue-haired woman perked up. Was this her chance to finally contribute something for these brave people? "Of course I can," she said with sincerity, clenching her hand into a fist. "Just tell me what it is you need me to do, and I'll do it."
The boy grinned. "Perfect! Then can you lead me to where Luffy fell into the water, swim down to him, surface above where he is, and tell me how far down the sea floor is there?"
Not expecting that, Nojiko stared a little. "Uh… yeah, but… why is that so vital?"
"I need to know exactly where Luffy is in the bay," Evan explained, walking up to her and holding out his arm for her to shake, "and it's unfortunate, but if I tried to swim to my captain, I'd drown myself. So I need you to do it for me."
It seemed to be a rather small task, but Nami's sister was ready for anything. She shook Evan's hand tightly, giving him a small grin. He was cute in a soft kind of way; he certainly wasn't bad-looking, but at the same time, he had something between a baby-face and a man's face. His eyes were determined, though, and his confidence was firm enough.
"Come with me," she said with a jab of her thumb to the bay. "Your captain's this way."
The pair ran past the wall, skirting around the mob of villagers so Arlong, who was storming around the pagoda's perimeter searching for Evan, wouldn't see him. Their feet pounded into the grass as they came upon the shore, and finally the grass turned into red rock. Nojiko and Evan turned around the outside corner of the wall and arrived at the edge of the pool which flowed into Arlong Park. Rocks here slanted from the sea to the wall of the Park, placed in a haphazard manner so that one might trip over a random boulder if one wasn't careful. Out in the middle of the bay, Genzo was treading water, holding Luffy's head above the waves so he could breathe.
"Ohhh, I forgot about that," Nojiko thought she heard Evan mumble, but it was quiet enough that she could've been mistaken. "Hey, Nojiko," he said, louder this time, "Luffy's body should be stretched out to the cement block. Follow it down there; that should make the job much easier."
"Roger." Nojiko turned to Evan, who met her eyes as she said, "Wait here a minute."
She proceeded to strip off her shirt, making Evan's eyes nearly pop out of his head. The poor guy's face flushed deeper than a strawberry, and she allowed herself a small chuckle at his expense. He was pretty fun to mess with!
"W-W-Why are you taking off your clothes when I'm right here!?" he exclaimed, scandalized, turning on a dime to face the other direction. He shifted around awkwardly, his hands in his jeans pockets, and Nojiko giggled at his reaction.
"Don't be stupid, I've still got my bra on," she pointed out, grinning. "Besides, I'm not taking my pants off, either. I only pulled my shirt off so it wouldn't weigh me down in the sea."
"...Makes sense," he admitted after a moment. He still sounded frazzled, though. "J-Just get into the water, already…"
Nami certainly made some good friends on that last trip of hers, she thought, diving into the ocean.
She swam out to where Genzo was treading water.
"Didja come to take over the shift?" he asked playfully.
Nojiko rolled her eyes. "No, Genzo, not now. I'm actually helping Evan over there free his captain. Continue holding his head up, please; we'll need him to still be able to breathe while we find the cement block."
Genzo nodded, showing her he understood; and with a thankful grin, the blue-haired woman dived beneath the waves.
Nojiko was not only an all-around weapons artist, but a powerful swimmer as well. She had Bell-mére to thank for that. Since the first day they had moved to the Conomi Islands, her and Nami's surrogate mother had forced them to learn how to swim. She'd always said that it would be stupid for them to not be able to keep themselves afloat in a world made mostly of water, and now, Nojiko was grateful for her teachings. She kicked beneath the waves, her eyes open despite the salty water making them sting, as she followed Luffy's body in a diagonal descent to the bay floor. Finally, through the dark water, she spied the cement block Luffy's feet were lodged in, around fifteen or twenty feet below the surface. Her lungs aching for air, Nojiko turned upward, and kicked furiously to the surface.
She burst out of the water with a desperate gasp for air. She was several feet away from Genzo.
"Found the cement?" Evan called from the shore, louder than was perhaps necessary.
Nojiko nodded, water flicking off her head. "Yes, I did! It's right below me, about fifteen feet down."
"Thanks! You should get out of the water now; things may get a little turbulent from here. You, holding Luffy's head up, though - - you stay."
Nojiko swept away from the center of the bay in a strong butterfly stroke, powering back to the shore Evan stood on. He seemed to be in deep concentration, glaring at the water where Nojiko had just been. Even as she swam, she felt the water current pick up, but in a strange, circular motion. She reached the shore at last and clambered up on it, shivering as the air hit her wet skin and chilled her body.
Safe on dry land, Nojiko turned around to see what Evan was doing, and her jaw dropped.
Floating over the cement block's resting place was a large, disembodied hand made of water, its fingers, each of which was at least twice as thick around and as long as her body, spread out so the palm was flat.
"Crazy Hand Ground Pound!" Evan shouted, and the armless hand shot downwards to the sea, which it powered through out of sight. A second later, there was the sound of a rock smashing, and Genzo shouted in surprise.
"His body's slack!" cried the chief of police.
Nojiko face-faulted. "Wait, what!?"
Before she could quite realize what had happened, there was an almighty snap, and suddenly Luffy was flying into the air, giggling like a madman.
"Thanks, Evan! That was awesome!" he called as he soared through the air towards Arlong Park.
Evan sagged to the ground. "Don't… mention it…" he mumbled, swaying. "Wow, I just realized how damn tired I am…"
And just like that, he passed out on the red rocks.
Nojiko and Genzo, who was still floating in the water, stared in unbridled shock.
"...What just happened?" said Nojiko at last, closing her mouth.
Genzo shook his head, flabbergasted. "Devil Fruits… I never thought I'd be dealing with them in my lifetime, but the stories were right… they are absolute bullshit."
And Nojiko couldn't agree more.
::EVAN::
I woke up to a massive headache.
No, scratch that. A massive everything-ache. Parts of my body I hadn't even realized could ache, ached. It was like someone had decided hangovers now extended to one's entire body, but I didn't even have a hangover. I knew that because the only alcohol I'd ever had in my life was church wine. No matter how insane the world got, I at least could be confident that I would always adhere to my beliefs and never let any kind of alcohol or drugs into my system, outside of church wine.
So, what happened, then?
Why did my body feel like I'd been run over by a freight train, handed to a pack of wolves, and then repeatedly hammered by some crazy blacksmith?
As I slowly lifted out of the dregs of sleep, my memory finally caught up to my brain: the All-Seeing Author. The Devil Fruit. Joining the Straw Hats. Kicking Nezumi's ass. Fighting tooth-and-nail with Fonti.
"Owww," I complained, to nobody in particular. I didn't know who was nearby or where I even was, anyway; my eyes were still squeezed shut. All I knew was that this bed I was on was very comfortable indeed, and quite warm, and I didn't want to get out… Also, my body was really stiff, anyway. I wasn't sure I could sit up even if I tried.
"Oh, you're awake," an old man's deep voice said nearby, and I groaned.
Forcing myself to open my eyes and turn onto my back, I finally saw where I was: A small, one-roomed building that looked like a doctor's office. Shelves upon shelves of various tools and medicines lined the walls, and a marble counter with a sink was flush with the wall next to the door. A couple windows let in bright light, which was strange because I'd been sure that it had just been storming. It shouldn't be that bright outside.
"What happened?" I grumbled, wincing as my ribs protested loudly.
The voice I'd heard before belonged to Cocoyashi Village's doctor, the silver-haired, short guy from canon. He wore a white doctor's cloak and a bandanna with a red plus on the front. Cool shades covered his eyes, but a kind smile turned his lips up.
"You pushed yourself to your limits in your fight with Fonti," he replied, messing around with a bottle of… something. "He did quite the number on you with his brute strength. You're lucky his Fishman Karate was ineffective against you; other than a cracked rib, all your injuries were external. He only gave you some rather serious bruises. It would seem that the exhaustion you are no doubt feeling now doesn't stem entirely from the fight, though; I believe you overtaxed your powers. Now you're in my care. I'm Doctor Nako, by the way, but you're a friend - - you can just call me Nako."
Ohhhh… so that's what his name was. For the life of me, I couldn't remember it.
"Overtaxed my powers?" I repeated, tilting my head.
"Indeed. Your crew said that you had just eaten the Tempest-Tempest Fruit yesterday morning, correct? Well, as far as I can tell, Devil Fruit abilities use up a lot of energy at the best of times, and with a new power like yours, your excessive use of it drained your energy rather like a bonfire might eat up a matchstick in seconds."
"Huh…" I said intelligently, tilting my head. "That makes sense, I guess… so I suppose I should train my stamina more…"
I paused.
"Wait. Did you say yesterday?"
The doctor blinked. "Well, yes," Nako said, confused. "After all, you've been unconscious for going on a full day now."
I sat up in horror, my aching body be damned. "What happened!?" I demanded, my eyes wider than dinner plates. "Did we win!? Are the others okay? Were Arlong and his cronies arrested? How are the - -"
"Relax!" the old man laughed. He turned and came to my bedside, grinning, with a white bottle in his hand. "Your friends are all alright. Pirate Hunter Zoro messed up his wound something fierce, but suffered no more injuries, and it was a simple matter of stitching it closed and bandaging it. I released him last night. Your captain suffered from some battle fatigue, but a quick sleep and…" A troubled frown crossed his face. "...Against all common sense, some meat fixed him up like a charm. The chef only received some mild bruises which should already be fading. No one else was hurt in the fight except you, and as long as you take these painkillers, you should be able to do whatever you want without too much trouble."
Relief flooded me, making my shoulders sag. So I hadn't screwed things over too badly; at the end of the day, even though my presence had most definitely caused unexpected ripples already, it wasn't enough to make us lose to Arlong and his men.
He offered me the bottle, which I accepted gratefully, as well as a glass of water.
"Take one of those in the morning and in the afternoon over the next few days," the doctor instructed. "You shouldn't take them on an empty stomach. They're fast-acting, too, so you should be able to join the party in the town square within no less than ten minutes."
"Whoa!" I gasped, my eyes widening. That was awesome! I put my first pill in my mouth and swallowed it down with the water easily. I'd always taken my medicine well as long as it wasn't syrup - - I hated the taste of the syrup medicine. But pills and tablets had went down fine since I was very young.
"So what's this about a party?" I asked, grinning.
Nako shook his head, his grin wide and fond. "The village decided you all are our heroes, and as thanks for freeing us from Arlong's clutches, everyone gathered together to throw a three-day celebration of you pirates. Today's day one of the festivities, and I hear there's some local bands that are performing in the town square. There's tons of food and beverages, too, thanks to some of the finest restaurants on the island."
I whistled low. "Man, you guys are going all-out."
"You're our saviors," said Nako with a chuckle. "Of course we would."
Just as the good doctor told me, within ten minutes, I started feeling much better, the aches that ran throughout my body reducing to mere needle-pricks. It was still awkward moving; my limbs felt stiff and lifeless, and were rather numb due to the effects of the painkillers, but I could at least safely get up now. I thanked Nako for fixing me up, but he requested no payments, saying freedom from Arlong was payment enough for a lifetime.
I exited the doctor's office feeling much better than I had since the fight with Fonti, but a little nervous. This would be the first day I'd spend with my new crew, in a new world, without any of the comforts and safety nets of the previous one. I was bad enough at making friends in school and at work. I was rather socially awkward at the best of times. I'd always been that kid who gets their name picked last for activities where you're allowed to choose groups; I'd always been the quiet one in the corner with his nose buried in a book. More recently, that had changed into the quiet one with his computer always open, creating all of the obnoxious typing sounds. But, well, the point was I had never been good at making friends even when said friends weren't people who could potentially kill me at some point.
I knew for a fact that Sanji and Zoro didn't like me already. Of course Luffy did, he's Luffy; and I was still unsure of Usopp's impression of me.
What if I screwed things up?
I walked with an uneven stride towards the center of town, my finger tapping a beat on the side of my leg, and humming the matching pop song (Some Nights by FUN). I wasn't entirely sure where the rest of the crew was, but I could count on them taking part in the festivities somewhere, so that seemed like a good place to start.
As I neared the town square, joyful music drifted on the breeze to my ears, and with a sweatdrop I took in the sight of a massive tower, made of tables and chairs and any other kind of legged furniture you could think of, that soared above all the houses. On the top, around two hundred feet in the air, I could make out Usopp with a makeshift microphone, dancing around as much as he could without falling over the edge of the tower. I also saw fireworks going off here and there above the square, randomly overpowering the chaotic laughter and shouting voices of the villagers. I started to smile, feeling the life of the party already take me over. It was my first chance at partaking in a Straw Hat party - - how awesome was that!?
Several seconds later found me in the town square at last. It was quite the lively place. People danced around in bright colors, walking by carrying plates piled high with all sorts of meat, rice, and vegetables, and everything else under the sun. Some of them noticed me as I walked by, searching for my new friends, and clapped their hands on my shoulder, thanked me, and smiled gratefully.
The praise kind of surprised me. I'd never really gotten much of it before, except for my singing in the choir and for my performances in the school plays. It threw me off a bit the first time a stranger shook my hand, smiling wide.
Being a hero was… unusual, but kind of nice, really.
"Ah, there you are, Evan!" a cheery voice said through a mouthful of food, and I whirled around at the sound of my name to see none other than Luffy standing on the street behind me. He was bright eyed and ridiculously happy, an impossible grin stretching across his face… and yep, that was some bits of meat showing through his white teeth. It was rather infectious, and I found myself copying it, or at least copying as much of it as I could. My captain giggled. "Shishishi! I was just going to check up on you but here you are! You okay?"
I nodded my confirmation. "Yep. Nako said I just have to take it easy a bit, as well as take some painkillers he gave me until I'm feeling better. He apparently fixed me up when I was knocked out."
Luffy's grin somehow widened. "That's great! Now you can party with us!" He held out some ham on a bone, waving it around. "Have you tried this yet? It's delicious!"
My stomach rumbled. "That… that does look very, very good."
"The cook guy's this way." He darted off in a random direction, leaving me to bring up the rear behind him. "Follow me!"
As I ran with my captain, my worries dwindled. Something about Luffy's happiness and utter confidence just made a guy feel better. Suddenly, the others' reactions to me didn't seem so terrifying. Maybe this won't be so bad after all, I thought, and my smile spread to my face.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Three days.
Have you ever been to a three-day party before? No? Well, you should try it sooner or later; it's one heck of a good time.
I danced my feet numb, sang my throat dry, and basically exhausted myself five times more than I already was. Nako likely would've had my hide if he knew how much more energy I wasted than I should've, but I didn't care about that. I was having fun.
The first day I woke up on the Going Merry, where we slept at nights, was disconcerting. I kept expecting to hear my mom blasting trash music from her speakers, or my dad turning on the TV before he went to work, or my Rhodesian Ridgeback (a breed of dog from an island off the southern coast of Africa) whine to get out of his crate. I woke up at six thirty and started getting dressed before I realized: Wait. No school. I'm in a different world, with no educational requirements to be met.
And that led me to an even greater epiphany: I can sleep in however long I want to!
Right after I realized this, I jumped back into the hammock the rest of the crew had hung up in the men's cabin for me.
And mentally cursed as I stared up at the ceiling, unable to return to my slumber.
I could almost hear the All-Seeing Author giggling like mad in some far-off dimension.
Once everyone was awake and moving (this took much longer for Zoro than the rest of the crew), Sanji would cook us an international breakfast, which was apparently the same even across dimensions. Even so, eggs, bacon, and toast had never tasted better in my life. I wolfed down the plate and surprised myself by demanding seconds. I usually ate such a small amount, my dad liked to say I had a bird's stomach. Only 2 eggs and a couple strips of bacon was usually enough to set me through without any hunger til noon. It was quite the rare thing indeed when I went back for seconds.
After breakfast, we'd return to the village for the party.
And, oh, what a party it was! It had just about everything you could hope for in an island-wide celebration of freedom. There were artisan stalls set up, with people selling their wares for over 75% off - - these wares included absolutely beautiful paintings, pottery, jewelry, and tons of other neat knick-knacks and doo-dads and watchamacallits. There were the classic fair games, like the one where you try and toss the ring on the bottle, dunking for apples, games of chance, and hopscotch. There were various contests, ranging from archery (Usopp, of course, won that by leagues, while I failed worse than just about anyone on the island save a three-year-old), to holding your liquor (Nami and Zoro downed a grand total 73 mugs easy, each, until at last they passed out at the same time, Nako screaming in fury at the damage to their systems), to - - in a strangely Professor Layton-esque style - - a puzzle-solving mystery. I actually passed with flying colors at that last one, while Luffy was still stumbling over the first puzzle come nightfall on the second day.
And through all the partying, I came to a startling conclusion: Sanji, and even Zoro, were warming up to me.
The first hint of their slowly building trust showed itself on the second day, during the aforementioned puzzle-solving mystery.
"Evan, you've been doing pretty good at this," acknowledged Zoro, who was scratching his head as we came upon a maze the islanders had set up with a bunch of bookshelves pushed against one another, in an open field. "If you lend me a hand with this, I'll help you out with anything that might involve cutting."
Having just been about to enter the maze myself, I blinked and looked back at the unexpected request. "Uh… sure, I guess." I still felt a little uncomfortable around Zoro, mainly due to his previous dislike of my presence, and I could feel the awkwardness as I tried to push out of my 'bubble.' "Here, follow me. There's an easy trick to solve mazes if you ever get lost."
"I don't get lost!" the mosshead snapped, a vein bulging on his forehead. "That damn cook's a liar!"
I gave him a deadpan stare as we entered the maze together.
He sweatdropped. "...Okay… so maybe the world always changes around me."
"Zoro. Everything always stays where it is. That's first grade science!"
"But! - - It all just - - I can never - -" Unable to properly explain his complete lack in any sense of direction, he stumbled over his words before just throwing his hands up in the air and glaring at me. "Just tell me the damn trick!"
Grinning in triumph, I tsk'd. "Ah, Zoro, haven't you ever heard? If you ever find yourself stuck in a maze, simply follow the left wall around the whole thing!"
"The… left wall?"
"Yep!" I game him a thumbs-up. "Guaranteed to work, 10/10 IGN."
The swordsman blinked, confused. "Not sure what 'IGN' is, but… if you say so."
Later that night, Sanji was cooking for around one-hundred islanders, and that wasn't even including us other Straw Hats, or the elephant in the room: Luffy himself. Heck, with that man's outrageous appetite, he practically fit the initial headcount alone. With that much food to prepare, the blond chef was biting off a little more than even he could chew, and I found him motioning for me to come over to him.
"Have any experience in the kitchen?" he asked, flipping a few shish-kebabs on an uncooked side.
I paled. "Not if you count me nearly burning my house down last year just making toast."
He cursed under his breath. "Ah, well, carry on with the party, then."
I began to walk back to where Nojiko, whom I'd been flirting with for the past half hour (no doubt to Sanji's intense ire) and who was also completely ignoring me (no doubt to Sanji's intense glee), was sitting, but stopped and turned around again.
"You know, if you need me to pass you anything or help wash dishes afterwards, I'd be happy to help," I offered. "I can't quite help you prepare the food without risking messing things up royally, but I can handle at least that much."
Sanji paused in his meal-making and smiled at me. "Yeah, I'd appreciate that."
As a side note, while I was helping Sanji cook, I learned just what had transpired after I freed Luffy from the cement and passed out. Luffy had grabbed Arlong and "swapped places with him," which had sent him slamming into Arlong Park's wall for the second time in five minutes. Zoro had used the distraction to finish off Hatchan with a quick Tatsumaki, while Sanji had been dragged underwater by Kuroobi and nearly drowned. That, however, had ended just as I'd remembered from the anime and manga; only a little off in terms of the timeline. From there, everything had gone pretty much canon.
That second night, even after all the food was eaten and all the dishes washed, none of us ended up getting to sleep until midnight, not even Zoro. This was most surprising to me, because I had quickly learned the mosshead made it a habit to never stay up later than ten-thirty unless he absolutely had to. The islanders were throwing a massive camp fire, and we all passed stories around til morning. Luffy was absolutely enthralled with the fire, declaring it to be a "Man's Romance" (for some reason, the image of an absurdly powerful dugong standing proudly against the sun, with a squad of four other dugongs cheering him on in the background, crossed my mind). He then launched into a few rounds of "The Islands in the Blue Seas," which had everyone present looking for desks to bang their heads against.
On the third morning, around half the island woke up with hangovers the size of Dallas, but that didn't deter anyone from partying even harder than before.
Usopp reclaimed his place on the Leaning Tower of Furniture, as I dubbed it, and belted out a whole gamut of clearly self-made songs, entitled "Captain Usopp Support Songs." By noon, he was on his 85th song, though nobody was paying him much attention. They were good for a chuckle or two, at least, and the sniper actually didn't have a bad singing voice. I hummed in thought. Maybe if I taught him a bit, we could perform a duet with background music by Brook - - thought that couldn't happen until we'd reach Thriller Bark…
Ah, crap. There goes my ADD.
Well, in any case, while Usopp sang "Captain Usopp Support Song #185" (how he had even be able to come up with enough original lyrics and tunes to fit that many songs was beyond me), everyone down below was busy stuffing their faces, listening to better music, and dancing. To my complete shock, well into the night, I spied Yosaku with chopsticks up his nose, doing the Chopper Chopstick dance. I'd thought that had come from Usopp and his hometown, but I supposed that the long-nose had got it from Yosaku instead.
Sometime in the morning, Luffy found me while I was trying out some strange, Korean-esque food I'd never seen before. "Hey, Evan," he spoke up curiously, "what can you do, anyway?"
I blinked. "Huh? About what?"
Luffy shrugged. "I'm the captain. Zoro's the swordsman. Usopp's our sniper. Nami's our navigator. Sanji's our cook. What do you want to be?"
Oh. So that's what he was on about.
I tilted my head in thought. What did I want to be? Outside of my newly acquired Devil Fruit, the only thing I could really contribute to the Going Merry's crew was my writing skills, and perhaps my singing voice (although Brook was going to be the musician; I couldn't take that away from him). I had no other skill with creating things, cooking, long-distance fighting, espionage, thievery, or any of the normal things you might expect to find on a pirate's ship. My only real draw was that I was good at writing and loved it, though that begged the question - - was this world's written language English, or Japanese? It would be horrible if it turned out to be some weird Re:Zero kind of thing, where only the spoken languages were the same as mine.
"Hold that thought, Luffy," I said, and ran off to find a random villager to ask for a copy of the newspaper. The man shrugged and handed me one. Skimming over it, I sighed with relief; English. I wouldn't have to go out of my way to learn a new written language after all. Thank Goda!
I handed back the confused man's copy of the morning newspaper and returned to Luffy, grinning. "Well, there's admittedly not much I could do," I said, "but there is one thing I'd be perfect for - - do you guys have a chronicler yet?"
Luffy blinked, then grinned just as wide. "Nope! Nami does that, but she complains about it all the time because it gets in the way of her drawing maps. All right, you can be our Chronicler, then!"
And so it was decided.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
All day that third day, nobody could find neither Nami nor Nojiko. Our newest friend and her sister remained absent clear through the morning and afternoon, until the latter was spotted grabbing some grub and booze from one of the tables set up in the square. When questioned for Nami's whereabouts, she simply said that the navigator needed some alone time. She assured us everything was alright, however. With our concerns quelled, we returned to partying. Even more alcohol was poured, and laughter and joy filled the town. I'd never felt my spirits rise higher than they did during that third day of the party.
At last, everyone fell asleep and the party was over. The third night had come to a close.
It was the fourth day after the fall of Arlong Park, and that meant it was time for us Straw Hats to set sail.
That morning, everyone woke up at the crack of dawn, bleary-eyed and hungover (myself being the sole exception for the latter, since I had refused to partake of any alcohol the entire party). We spent the morning eating a quick breakfast courtesy of Sanji and his amazing talent, before setting about stocking the ship. We needed ample food and water for a boat carrying six people including one black hole, as well as plenty of Vitamin C-containing fruit in case anyone happened to catch a case of scurvy. Bathroom essentials were also restocked, since apparently soap, shampoo, and toothpaste were beginning to run scarce on the Going Merry. Booze was added to the list to satisfy an irate Zoro, followed by an unhealthy supply of meat for an equally irate Luffy. I requested parchment, several ballpoint pens, and pencils; I couldn't very well record our journeys without the proper utilities to do so with.
At last, all the necessary supplies were packed onto our ship. We checked and double-checked to make sure everything was present. The villagers started gathering on the shore in front of the ship, milling about and calling out encouragements and praises. We were almost ready to set sail, except for one last thing:
Nami still hadn't shown.
"Where do you think she is?" a worried Sanji groused. "She should've been here by now."
Zoro was resting against the railing without a care. "Who knows? Maybe she's not coming."
That sent Sanji off on a tirade. "WHAT!?" he roared, spinning to face the mosshead. "What do you mean she's not coming? You made a pass on her, didn't you!? I bet she's not coming because you interfered!"
"Don't be stupid, moron! Of course I didn't!"
"GRAAAAH! If Nami-san isn't going to be on the ship, then 98.75% of my reason to be on the ship is gone, too!"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose tiredly. "Oh, gosh, this again?" I moaned, rolling my eyes. "Sanji, she's obviously coming. Just wait a little bit longer." I blinked. "Out of curiosity, what's the other 1.25% of your reason?"
"Making sure you idiots don't starve yourselves to death."
"Oh." I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. "Makes sense."
Usopp was rubbing his chin in thought. "You know, it would actually not be very surprising if she chooses not to come with us. She hates pirates, and now that her home's free from Arlong, she has no reason to leave it. That was the entire reason she was sailing this sea in the first place, right? For her home?"
My eye twitched as Sanji howled in agony. "Not helping," I grumbled, and Usopp gave an awkward laugh, sweatdropping.
I sighed and turned to Luffy. "What do you think, captain?"
"She'll come," he said with unwavering confidence, and that was that. Then he glared at Sanji. "Oi, I never found that raw ham melon you had yesterday! I looked over the whole island for it! You liar!"
Sanji stared at him. "Why would you search the island when the party was only in the town square?"
"Because I couldn't find it!" he huffed with an indignant frown.
"Vahahaha!" I laughed, smiling fondly. "Of course you couldn't."
Luffy pouted even deeper. "I bet you couldn't find it either."
"I wasn't searching for it, so it doesn't count. Heck, I didn't even know it existed!" I considered the idea for a moment, and my stomach growled. "Although you know, now that you mention, that does sound really good…"
As it turns out, we didn't end up having to wait much longer for Nami to arrive. After just about five more minutes of waiting around, we heard our navigator shout, "OI! SET SAIL!" followed by outcries from the villagers.
Sanji's pupils flipped to the shapes of pink Valentine hearts - - no joke. "NAMI-SWAN!" he exclaimed in adoration.
I rolled my eyes. "Ero-cook."
"Are you really going to leave without giving us the chance to say goodbye?" the villagers demanded, shocked by this turn of events.
"We want to wish you well!"
"Hey, wait up, Nacchan!"
Nami paid them no heed, however, and rushed through them in a zig-zag. They tried to reach out and stop her, afraid of not being able to say goodbye to their beloved redhead. She dodged them all, pushing them aside and shoving through the crowd. The rest of watched the impromptu chaos with various degrees of surprise.
"She said to set sail?" repeated Usopp with a blink.
Zoro contemplated the statement. "What do you think she's trying to do?"
"Well, she said to set sail," pointed out Luffy, "so let's just get going!"
I raised my eyebrow as we started getting ready to cast off. I, of course, knew Nami's reasoning for wanting us to go early, having seen it all before in a different medium; an expectant smirk spread out on my face as I busied myself with nearly breaking my back by way of hoisting the anchor. At the same time, Zoro was clambering up the mainmast and releasing the sails, while Sanji manned the ship's rudder.
A confused Usopp spoke up hesitantly. "O-oi, is it really okay for us to let her leave like this?"
Luffy shrugged. "Well, it's what she wants."
"Yeah… but… I mean…"
"Besides, isn't saying goodbye kind of like saying you don't expect to ever see the person again?" I pointed out, panting as I dropped the hammer on the deck with a clamor.
"I… guess so, but still - -"
Before Usopp could string together a proper complaint, Nami had already reached the end of the dock and jumped into midair, even as the sail began to pick up the wind. For a moment, she looked like a female Mario, hanging in suspense with one arm up and her legs outstretched. Then she landed on the railing of the Merry, her knees bending to siphon off the impact, and she stepped off onto the back of the ship.
Everyone, including the panicked villagers, was silent for a moment as she lifted up her shirt.
...And near a hundred wallets fell out, littering the floor.
The villagers face-faulted, then quickly checked their pockets, finding them all turning up empty.
"She never changes, does she?" muttered Usopp with an unimpressed gaze and half-lidded eyes, while Luffy and I burst into laughter.
"Oi, oi, when will she betray us next?" grumbled Zoro, his eye twitching.
"Remind me to never let her know if I make any money!" I guffawed, slapping my knee.
And as we retreated across the blue waves, Nami just turned and winked at her friends and family, waving her hand. "See ya, everyone! I'll come back!"
"YOU'RE WELCOME ANYTIME, YOU PUNK!" roared the village collectively, only renewing Luffy's and my laughter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sometime later that day...
My first day on the ocean with the Straw Hats had been going pretty well. I was settling into a sort of normalcy on the ship - - or at least, as normal as one could get when a cold feeling of homesickness was beginning to rise. Relaxing on the deck, it had finally hit me that I might never see my family or friends again. Perhaps it was seeing Nami leave her hometown, but something about the finality of the situation had sunk in at last.
How was I ever going to get home? How was I ever going to see my mom, my dad, or my sister again? How would I ever foreign exchange to Japan like I'd planned, or become a famous writer, or marry, settle down, and live a peaceful life?
All of my plans had been thrown out the window with a mere two words.
In my pocket, my iPod buzzed, and I definitely did not jump.
It was another email from the All-Seeing Author. I opened it up, my face twitching, and offered it an annoyed glare. It said, Don't be so sappy, kid. You'll get back home sooner or later. Probably later.
I blinked, not having expected that. "Wait, what!?" I cried, drawing some weird stares from Nami, who was standing in the front and keeping an eye on our course, and Usopp, who was on the deck several feet from me and was working on creating some new Sure-Kill Star. I sweatdropped and lowered my voice, hiding my iPod from view. "I have a way to get home!?" I hissed furiously.
My iPod rumbled again, and another notification popped up, showing a second email.
Duh. What do you think I am, a jackass Jackass God? Pfft, please. The pay's decent, but not THAT good. Nah, I'll settle for a fence in some places, if you know what I mean.
I could feel what little was left of my sanity crumble. "Trump references? Really?"
Hey, the man's good for a laugh! Bite me! Anyway, yeah, you can get home so long as you can reach Raftel. There's a little something-something there from yours truly that'll help you bounce around space and time. And no, it's not a spatially illogical police box.
Rubbing my face, I grumbled, "Can you at least tell me what the hell it is?"
Another new email blinked onto my screen. Devil's Fruit, it said.
"...You HAVE to be messing with me."
Nope!
I opened my mouth to cuss like a sailor, but was cut off by Luffy suddenly laughing his head off, and Nami reprimanding him. Distracted (stupid ADD), I looked up and saw my captain clutching a piece of yellow paper gleefully. Nami's face was twisted in something akin to fondness mixed with terror. Usopp looked up, too, and scrambled up to the upper front deck to check out was happening.
"Watcha got there, Luffy?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.
He turned the paper around so I could see its contents: a picture of him smiling wide in front of the ruins of Arlong Park. A grin started to break out on my own face even as he said, "Check it out! I'm worth 45,000,000!"
My grin twitched a little. "Er… come again?"
"They gave me a 45,000,000 belli bounty!"
...What.
Nami blinked out of her building depression as she seemed to notice something. "Hey, there's another poster you're holding, Luffy," she said.
"Eh, for real?"
Luffy fumbled with the poster, and I sat up to go see who the other bounty belonged to. Just as I started walking up the steps to them, though, a breeze picked up and tore the second paper from my captain's hand. A second later, it had smacked right into my face, sending me sputtering in indignation. I ripped the bounty poster from my face while Luffy's laughter sounded anew, giving it a hurt glare…
...Only for me to freeze at the sight of the face smirking back at me.
Nami blinked. "What's up, Evan?"
"Hey, Nami…" I glanced up at her, my face ashen. "You're going to want to see this."
::NOJIKO::
When the noon paper came on the day of Nami's departure, Nojiko had not been surprised to find an article about the Straw Hats taking down Arlong printed in the issue. As far as Marine news went, the article had actually been fairly unbiased. It had focused more on the reign of terror that Arlong had forced upon her home for the past decade, complete with interviews from islanders she knew. There was, of course, the usual propaganda about the Straw Hats being dangerous people whom you should sell out to the government should you see them, but then, that was to be expected; they were pirates, and when it came to piracy, the Marines were absolute.
She also hadn't been surprised when she saw a bounty poster worth 45,000,000 belli, with a picture of her smiling savior, and the title Monkey D. "Straw Hat" Luffy written on it. In reality, she was quite happy for the rubberman - - having his first bounty meant that he was at last on the first leg to completing his dream. Achieving one's dreams was definitely something Nojiko could appreciate. She and the rest of Conomi Islands had indeed been waiting eagerly for this for four days; for the day their hero's power was recognized by the World Government.
What had surprised Nojiko was the familiar face staring back at her on the bounty poster she'd discovered beneath Luffy's.
"Why would they do this?" demanded a furious Genzo, sitting on the harbor next to her, for the fifteenth time in five minutes.
Nojiko was as white as a ghost. "I have no idea," she growled dangerously, "but someone's going to pay."
For a moment, the two Conomi Island residents sat on the harbor, staring at the waves lapping against the dock and shore. This new turn of events had thrown them completely off the deep end, leaving them helpless and alone. Their frowns were equivalent. Their eyes, reflecting the brilliant rays of sunlight that poked out behind a random cloud here and there, were shadowed behind their hair and hat respectively. Nothing was said for several moments.
Then something caught Genzo's eye, and he lifted his head up to gaze out to the blue horizon. "Nojiko, look," he said, and the seriousness of the words alone caused her to complete the action.
The Going Merry was slowly growing larger some distance away from them, the captain a mere speck on the ship's figurehead. The Straw Hats had returned. The blue-haired woman knew that there could only be one thing they had returned for, and she clenched her fists, glaring down at the piece of paper in her hands.
Clearly taken during the party, her own picture stared back at her, with the epitaph "Tattooed Rogue" Nojiko stenciled below, and a ten million belli price tag added to the name.