Hey all, I have written a new chapter to 'Don't you remember', after so long I expect to have lost a few readers, but hope for a few new ones.
Tara POV
I awake with a cold breeze whipping at my face. I peer over at the window which hangs slightly ajar and I can see that outside is a dismal black, the rain pounding against the old hospital window pain and the wind rattles the old frame.
I sigh melancholy to myself as I think of the events that occurred yesterday: waking up with a massive gunshot wound to my chest, oh; and need I forget the massive bout of amnesia where I seem to have forgotten the last five years, not to mention I gained a girlfriend whom of which I have no recollection whatsoever. Though, I need to admit that when I look into her eyes I feel warmth and familiarity that I have not felt in a while... I presume.
I gather that I fell asleep shortly after reading the first diary entry, the constant morphine drip sedating me away from the pain caused by the gunshot wound. Staring at the clock on the wall above the door I can see what I have slept not for roughly six hours and that it is now 3:38 am. I remember Willow telling me – what seems like forever ago - that she would not go anywhere and as I peer at the chair next to me I can see that she has not stuck to her word – that she is no where to be seen, even her bag, which I held on hope that she would return , has vanished also. Perhaps she sought through the truth finally, that she could not love me knowing I could not love her in return, though surly if I put my mind to it I could try my hardest, and knowing that there is that little energy between us, I could love her.
I stare around the room again, another fifteen minutes elapse before I root around carefully under my pillow and pull out the notebook that I had found much comfort in reading last night before I fell asleep. Knowing that some of my memories have been locked away in this little bound of paper; gives me some hope that maybe my memories will finally return. After a little exertion from rooting around under my pillow I can feel that my throat is bone dry and my lips have chapped. I can see that my saline drip has run dry and may be the explanation behind the dry throat and lips, a nurse should be in soon to check on my so I shall read another diary entry until that happens; knowing I could not sleep knowing that Willow is not here to watch over me as I sleep, protecting me from all those demons that may lurk in the shadows.
I close my eyes and try my hardest to recover my memories of Willow and our life which we shared together over the past few years, but all seems to come to no prevail. I turn the page of the diary until a new entry is staring me in the face and I inhale deeply. The entry of page seems to be longer then the last, meaning perhaps something important happened where I needed to explain deeper. I brace and steady myself with another deep breath and dive in to the truth.
Dearest Mom,
Today so much has happened. I woke up this morning and had seemed to have lost my voice, though a little shaken I went on with my day as usual; walking down the corridor and into the bathroom to brush my teeth. The strange thing was that it was not only me who seemed to be having a problem with uttering anything, everybody seemed to be in mass panic, and nobody could seem to utter a word. Everyone was in a panicked state as I shrugged it off; still alarmed but trying to stay calm as much as possible, panicking never seems to help anyone in situation like this. There was an aura of an uncomfortable silence cloaking the whole town, a simple sound of a glass shattering on the ground causing people to panic, forgetting what sound was after so long of not hearing. The news had not helped in any shape or form in what is happening, except that the town is suffering from a giant case of laryngitis.
I spent the whole day to myself, wandering aimlessly around the campus of UC Sunnydale. How this could be a giant outbreak of a medical illness when there have been no prior signs or symptoms, I don't know, what I do know is; that I have a feeling something very strange is going on in Sunnydale with an overall supernatural element. I bet you would get to the bottom of this, mom, you always seemed to know how to solve the biggest problems that outweighed you by miles. Perhaps tomorrow I could go and look for that Willow girl from Wicca group, she seemed to have her head screwed on in the right way when it comes to Wicca, perhaps we could do a spell or something.
For tonight this is Goodbye, Sleep-tight, Mom, Tara. xx
P.S I have decided to go search for Willow tonight, this endless silence is etching away a little more of my soul, I do not think I can go on much longer, nor can anyone else in Sunnydale.
Tara closes her eyes and places her hand upon her throat, trying to recollect, and there, somewhere deep within her, seemed to spark a small memory, a small memory of sheer terror that happened on that night. Images flash across her eyes, bald men; almost skeletal in physique with deathly smiles, chasing, no not chasing, floating after her in the dead of night. She could remember, though she almost wished that she had not remembered such a horrid memory and hoped for a memory of Willow, though she thanked that these journal entries were actually working and had to thank herself for that. However; Tara could not confirm exactly what she was seeing, she found a pen on the side and started to draw the picture of the men chasing her in the mind, hoping that Willow would recognise them, confirming that indeed Tara's memories were slowly coming back to her. She finished drawing the men in the back of the journal and almost shivered at their appearance. Tara needed to find out what happened next in the later entries, she wanted to know, she was intrigued; it was her life after all. Tara turned to the next entry in the notebook and began to read, hairs standing on end and she got into the entry.
Dearest Mom,
I don't think that words can even begin to explain the pure and utter terror I endeavoured last night. After my last entry to you I decided to go out to Stephenson and try and find Willow. I was a little stupid, knowing full well that the campus was not at all safe after sunset, especially after yesterday mornings unexplained murder. So, I get outside, the only thing on my mind is getting to Willow and seeing her, I walk at a slow pace as I begin the saunter to Stephenson, the building where Willow is. All of a sudden I get a cold chill down my spine and an unnerving feeling enters my whole body, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up on end, so I turn slowly around. There, behind me, a small creature is gallivanting after me, its arms loose though wearing a straightjacket. Behind the small strange looking creatures are these men, or as close to men as I would care to describe, though not really knowing what on earth they were. These 'men' were bald and had these spine-chilling smiles upon their faces an eerie silence followed them, a pure sense of terror shot across my body as I began to run for my life.
I ran out from the open elements and get into Stephenson building where I begin to bang for my life onto the dorm room doors, hoping and praying that someone, somewhere would care to answer the door and save me from lord knows what...
...
Tara snaps back into the real work as she hears a small commotion coming from outside the door and peers over. Outside the door Tara can see the back of Willows head, and for some reason unknown reason - even to Tara - she put the diary under her pillow, closes her eyes and pretends to sleep. She tries to even her breaths out as much as possible, knowing that it is the difference between knowing someone is awake or asleep. As Tara shuts her eyes she begins to wonder what she is doing, and why she is hiding from Willow, and the only thing she could think of is that she is shy, it is almost as though the relationship between them is starting again, and when they met; Tara was a blithering fool. Tara also thought that it was because she didn't want to get Willows hopes up with some memories which may or may not have even happened.
From the other side of the door Tara could now hear Willow talking, until finally silence. The door handle to the room rattles and then finally the door opens, followed by a quiet Willow, closing the door behind her. She sits in the chair next to Tara, her new home for now until the distant future – or until Tara is strong enough to go home. Willow draws her knees up to her chests and exhales deeply, staring at the constant rise and fall of Tara's sternum; that is when Willow begins to break down and cry into her knees.
Willow POV
I don't think I can do this anymore. Everything we have worked so for over these last few years, washed away like nothing ever happened. I am sorry baby; I just don't think I can deal with this. I don't know if I even exist without you anymore, no; I am pretty certain you are my entire life, there is no me without you. I lean in to grab Tara's hand and I take it in mine.
"I'm sorry." I merely utter, the tears still cascading down my face, as though there is no end to them.
Tara POV
I hear her sit of the chair next to me, the air almost uncomfortably quiet, I hear the clunking of the chair and her begin to exhale, followed by sobbing. I can't just lay here knowing she is in so much pain, because of me. I am about to roll my head to the side slowly and open my eyes, as though waking up from sleep when I feel her touching my hand, a shiver runs up my spine and my belly dances as though millions of butterflies are fluttering around. She whispers two little words that make tears form almost instantly in my eyes, 'I'm sorry...'
Tara rolls her head slowly towards the direction of Willow and slowly begins to open her eyes. Willow sees this and almost jumps in the spot, wiping her tears away on the back of her sleeve.
"Hey." Tara almost rapidly says with a small smile appearing at the corners of her mouth.
"Hey." Willow replies, a little light in her eyes sparking up again. "How are you feeling, swee-?" Willow asks, trailing off before finishing the word sweetie.
"I-I'm feeling a-a little better, Thank You. N-No doubt thanks t-to some morphine, but I-I am not complaining." Tara smiles shyly at Willow, looking her in the eyes. "I-Is there any c-chance you could get m-me some w-w-water please?"
"Oh, yes, of course!" Willow stands up and walk to the end of the bed where a bed tray is placed, water and a glass is all that occupies it. Willow pours some water into the glass and hands it over to Tara, their hands touch for the just the slightest moment, however; fireworks ring out in Tara's head.
"Th-Thank you, Willow." Tara retorts shyly.
"While I am here, is there anything else you need, some magazines or anything?" Willow asks.
Tara takes a sip from the water and struggles her hand behind her pillow and pulls out the journal. "I-I found this next to my bed e-earlier, you-you put it there?"
"Yes. I went to your dorm and picked up a few of your things, I found this on your dressing table... I never knew you kept a diary. I didn't dare take a peek, I just put it in my rucksack with a few of your night clothes and put it next to you a little while ago." Willow recounted.
"T-Thank you, Willow." Tara smiles in retort.
"It no problem at all, I had to go get Buffy some bits too." Willow rambled off on one.
Tara raises and eyebrow and cocks her head to the side, asking who Buffy was in her own way and Willow caught on.
"Buffy, if our friend, she and I have known each other for a long time now. You have known her for a couple of years since you became an avid member of our group. Buffy was in the garden when Warren came and surprised us and started firing bullets left right and centre in a ferocious rage. He caught Buffy on her shoulder but you got the worst hit, they say – they say that even a centimetre over and it could have penetrated your heart and you would have died instantly." Her eyes spilling over with tears as she relapsed yesterday's events back the Tara. Willow – who had her hand resting on the bed next to Tara was surprised when Tara took her hand, comfort seeping through her skin, deep into her bones as she stared at Tara in the eyes.
"I am fine; you don't need to be so sad," Tara sheepishly replied. "I know I am having a little trouble remembering things... But Urm – I don't want to be getting any hopes up or anything, but as I was reading the journal earlier I happened to remember just a little something, a face." Tara flips to the back of the book and opens it. The look on Willow's face says it all, she recognised those sinister eyes and smiles anywhere, those were the gentleman.
Willow takes a massive deep gulp before talking, "This man you have drawn, he is one of the men who make up 'the gentleman".
"They t-take your voices, why?" Tara asked intrigued.
"Can't even shout, Can't even cry, the Gentlemen are coming by, looking through windows, knocking on doors, they need to take seven and they might take yours." Willow recalled in a sing song manner, pointing at the left side of her chest as the words 'they need to take seven' was sung out.
The small hairs stood on the back of Tara's neck again, closing her eyes she could see their gormless faces chasing her through the dorm block. "I – I didn't get too far with th-the journal... Wo-would you like to r-read me the rest of the entry?" Tara asked, looking at Willow and asking her in complete trust.
"I would love to, Sweetie, but only if you are sure." Will cocked her head, asking Tara .
"Y-yeah I-I am sure. I got t-to this part." Tara replies pointing to the part of the diary before she had notice Willow standing outside.
Willow takes a deep breath, emotions rushing through her body, excited yet afraid of what is written in the diary and she begins to read.
I ran out from the open elements and get into Stephenson building where I begin to bang for my life onto the dorm room doors, hoping and praying that someone, somewhere would care to answer the door and save me from lord knows what. I run down what seems like an endless corridor, banging on doors with not prevail, finally; I reach the end of the hall, stairs going up to the next floor of the building. I clamber up them with fear raging in my heart, truly fearful for my life, freight pumping adrenaline around my body until it is numb, running for what felt like forever. I reached the next level of the building and I begin to bang ferociously, again, no one answering. I turn around fearing for how close these creatures are getting when I run into somebody in the hall way. I turn around and see Willow on the floor, I clamber to my feet and pull her up with me, I begin to run followed shortly by Willow as she sees the creatures that are chasing us. Fear evades my body, not only for myself but for Willow too. We both run into a small staff room looking area with a giant vending machine. As we get in the room Willow's ankle buckles, the fear and panic overwhelm is as she collapses to the floor. As Willow sits in the floor in agony I can see the sheer concentration on her face as she stares at the vending machine, it wobbles slightly and I can see the giant disheartened look on her face. I gather all the courage in my body – mixed with some of the adrenaline – and offer my hand to Willow, she accepts and we both begin to concentrate on the vending machine, it moves with ease.
We celebrate slightly with a smile to one and other before my nerves get the better of me and I sit in the corner with my knees drawn to my chest my head between them, my breathing deep. I felt so embarrassed by my behaviour that I peer up from my comfort zone for just a second, I see Willow looking at me and our eyes meet. My heart bounces around in my chest as her head cocks to the left in a questioning manner. I strung helplessly back, breaking my eye contact as I begin to go all coy. We are confined to that room for what feels like forever, though realistically it was no longer then half an hour. I look at Willow and then peer at the vendor and then back at Willow, she nods her head, we hold hands and then concentrate on moving the vendor, and again it moves effortlessly back to its original place.
I walk Willow back to her dorm room and she enters, staring back at me with the emerald eyes. I can tell that I still look worried and exhausted; she lifts one shoulder and cocks her head to the side, asking me whether I wanted to come in, no need for words. I avoid eye contact with her and shake my head slowly, stepping backwards and look down the corridor before looking back at Willow. She stares at me with her big beautiful eyes and I try to resist the urge to not look into them, evidently I fail. It is almost like she is trying to tease me and I reluctantly shrug my shoulder and nod, looking down at the floor as I do so. Willow moves aside to that I can enter the room and I do. Inside I can see two beds, one evidently Willows and one for her room mate. She walks over to the bed and takes a pillow and blanket from the bed before setting herself on the floor next to the bed. She pats the bed and then looks at me, she had offered her bed to me – me, Tara Maclay, nobody has ever offered me their bed before, now Willow, sweet Willow has. I sit down on the bed and peer down at Willow, her eyes forever filled with kindness and warmth, I smile shyly at her. I lay down in the bed and peer over at the clock on the bedside table, it reveals that it is almost 2 am. Willow unexpectedly grabs my hand in comfort and gives it a squeeze before releasing and switching the bedside lamp off, leaving us in darkness, reflecting on what happened throughout the earlier night. I stare at the darkened ceiling the sound of Willows soft sleeping breath echoing round the room, I get up slowly and sneak out back to my own dorm, where I begin to write this entry. I plan to go back in the morning to thank her for saving me last night, as well as; apologise for leaving. Oh, and on a brighter note, my voice has come back. Till later, Tara.
Willow peers up from the notebook and over at Tara, her eyes closed deep in thought and concentration. Slowly she opens her eyes and peers back at Willow, a small, coy smile on her face.
"Do you remember...?" Willow enquired.
"A little..." Tara replies, closing her eyes again.
I close my eyes, recollecting what Willow has just read out from the diary, small snippets of the events that happened that night, Willow falling to the floor as her ankle buckles; Our holding of hands as we move the vending machine; Walking her to her dorm... I feel a small smile creeping on my face as butterflies evade my stomach, seeing mine and Willows relationship grow from the very beginning.
Thank you for having the time to read this chapter and story, please feel free to review or even favorite :) I will try to update sooner then later :)