A/N: A warm thank you for all the love the reviewers sent my way!

A special shout out to profmom72 for the rec posted on The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster, which made me smile and feel life an over-inflated balloon once I was done hyperventilating.

My little aspiring to inspired heart goes out to pippapear for her awesome beta ninja skills and, most of all, her priceless friendship.

~*~


She loves me.

That's the truth that cloaks me and boosts my spirits. There was no other way I could face the big three headed dog that is Tanya.

That's something I realized early enough in the relationship. She isn't really your usual girl. When you're dating her, you're actually dating two other women. Namely, Kate and Irina, her sisters.

You have to have their stamp of approval at all times, invite them over to your house and cook for them, and secretly grit your teeth after noticing one of them rummaged through the medicine cabinet. You have to buy presents in clusters of three, so you can keep them all satisfied.

I put my foot down at driving them to and from ladies' night at the local club on a hockey night. Tanya threatened to withhold sex.

Let's just say I like hockey a lot more than I enjoy being played with.

The short elevator ride up to the sixth floor did me no good in getting my head straight or come up with a speech. I never did possess the ability of preparing my thoughts - everything that left my mouth was exactly as I thought it, as I was thinking it. Bella was the one I always got to lose all filters with - all but one - until now.

With Tanya, I had to keep a lot of them in place. Mainly, I needed to refrain my judgmental nature, and let myself appreciate her virtues and forgive her flaws. I know she did the same.

As I knock on the door to her apartment, hearing some sort of pop tune over voices within, I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. But this conversation is as vital as it will be painful.

But, of course, my fianceé doesn't open the door. It's Kate, and I have to breathe a sigh as I try looking past her into her home. A woman wearing a white dress with a tail isn't exactly easy to miss.

"Edward...? What happened, why have you shown up here... looking like that?" she starts, shaken but non-judgmental.

"Good morning, Kate. I really need to talk to Tanya, right now," I plead, as I can't see her, but I think I can hear her voice. "Before someone from the bridal party arrives and sees me," I add, before she can close the door on me.

"Right now," she whispers, as if I've gone mad. In some ways, I know I have. But I need to go through this.

It's what I'm chanting to myself as I make it into the living room area.

Irina is installed on the chaise longue, wearing the same ugly bridesmaid's dress as Kate, and there's an older woman sitting beside Tanya. They're on the couch, and, before Irina can notice my presence and spew some venom at me, I let myself take in the image.

I can identify Carmen even with her back to me, recognizing her dark hair and skin tone. She's the mother the sisters never had, with both the sweetness and seriousness she always needed to keep them in check.

With skillful fingers, she's braiding Tanya's blonde hair and pinning it up in an intricate nest. The soft locks against her back, which is already framed in white, make me remember all the good things about us that made me propose in the first place.

It's true that I only proposed because the woman I truly loved had shut me out. But it's also true that, out of all the women I'd ever been with, Tanya was the only one who made me wish I could give her more.

She is independent and self-assured, though not completely immune to a compliment or a gesture. She was also truly interested in getting to know me and adjust to the things I wanted instead of keeping me in a tidy little corner of her life. It took time to make these changes, for her to start seeing me with different eyes, but she had.

Tanya wanted to take care of me, because she did care for me. And after so many meaningless relationships, it was a breath of fresh air.

I'd hoped I could build a life with her, the kind of love that came with years of joined living and experiences. I'd hoped we could be happy.

I'd hoped against reason and against myself.

That doesn't change the fact that I'm destroying a beautiful, intelligent woman's dreams. She'll carry the burden of dealing with the consequences of this decision as much as me, as unilateral as it is.

It's unfair.

But wouldn't it be so much worse to do this a few years from now, as giving up became the only choice? Maybe there would be children involved, by then. More victims of my stupidity. And Bella wouldn't wait that long for me. She shouldn't have waited ten years already.

I asked her to break up with the prick and call off her own engagement. How can I get married today?

How can I honestly face this woman and promise her lies if the smell of Bella's skin is still all over me? If last night is all I can think of?

"What's he doing here?" Irina frowns, looking between me and Kate, and I'm finally broken out of my reverie. I just bow my head a little and try to act as if I don't hate her. Much.

Both Tanya and Carmen turn to face me and, even as the not-bride-to-be-for-much-longer's eyes light up, Carmen's harden. Maybe she can sense something is amiss.

"I need to speak with Tanya in private, if that's alright," I ask, politely.

Irina opens her mouth, but is quickly cut off by Carmen.

"We need to leave these two alone."

"He shouldn't even be seeing her, the dress..."

As if bad luck would make any difference now.

"Don't be thick, Irina, let's go to your room. I'll work on your makeup." Carmen's voice has some finality in it, and the bridesmaids follow her out.

Before closing the door to the corridor behind her, the older woman's eyes sweep the room one last time, and she looks sad. Am I that transparent, or did she see it coming?

Tanya finally turns to me.

"Edward? Baby, what's wrong? Oh, look at you... still in yesterday's clothes?"

Her voice is nothing but sweetness, with an edge that's just hers. I swallow and try not to look down at her dress, though, the few glimpses I do end up getting tell me she looks lovely.

I don't sit, as I don't feel I have the right to. I pull on my hair, trying to find the words, struggling for them.

"You're awfully quiet," she remarks after a minute of this, her smile faltering. I realize that she's expecting me to touch or compliment her, and that my silence is unnerving.

Alright. Just like you always have, just say what's on your mind. All of it. Rip the damn band aid off once and for all, it's not like saying "I'm sorry" the appropriate amount of times will make it any better.

"I know I shouldn't have waited until today, of all days, to have this conversation with you, but I have to. There's no way around it. And, believe me, if I could have done things differently, I would, but... It's too late for that. I have to act on what's possible, not on what's passed."

"Baby..." Tanya starts, in a patronizing tone, but I interrupt her.

"I can't go through with the wedding. I'm sorry."

She stares at me for a second. Then she looks me up and down, as if she's trying to figure me out, and shakes her head again.

"I have no idea what happened to you, but, whatever it is, you have to snap out of it..." she states, freakishly calm, not really looking me in the eye. "Because there's people arriving any minute now to follow me down to the church, and everything is ready but you, apparently, so... If this is your idea of a joke, Edward..."

"You know me better than that, Tanya, listen to me..."

"NO! You listen to me," she spits out, menacingly, as she gets up. "We have hundreds of guests gathering for us today. You were the one who proposed to me. You told me you loved me. So, whether you're getting cold feet or one of your idiot friends slipped something in your drink last night... I don't care," she huffs, turning her back on me and examining her reflection to make sure she was still flawless in her rage. "You are doing this."

My mouth is agape as I realize that Tanya is somehow under the assumption that I've cut off my two nuts and handed them over for her to squeeze.

This is the side of her that I've always had a problem with.

The proposal, for example. I got my grandmother's ring out of the family safe deposit box, and went through a lot of trouble so she'd find it in an unexpected way.

But, just as she opened the ever-common velvet box I'd slipped inside her Caesar salad, her smile faded. Although she assured me she wanted to marry me as fast as possible, she promptly declared she couldn't possibly wear «that old thing».

So, there was her version of the proposal. The one where I dropped on one knee in front of every customer at the jewelry store, right after having bought the ring she picked.

I'd felt emasculated then, but having her order me to go ahead with the wedding just about made me want to cup my nether regions for safety.

I have to force myself to breathe deeply several times before trying to talk to her again.

"I understand this must be difficult to process. But we're not getting married, Tanya. That would be a huge mistake."

"Oh, is that so? So, you just happened to wait until our wedding day to figure that one out? What did you do last night? Fall in love with some stripper?"

I know, at this point, that I need to keep my wits about me, but I can see her sneering at me, and it's becoming clear that being gentle about this won't help.

So I do the one thing that can possibly turn me into more of an asshole, in her eyes.

I tell her the undiluted truth.

"I slept with another woman."

~*~