Long author note…

AN-A somewhat short chapter that will pretty much explain what kind of relationship our two characters will have from here on till I say so. As said before, this story will get a bit more…disturbing…consider this the climax of all that is good. After this…things will happen; I plan to have this story follow a certain video game storyline…should be obvious. So, I've been told that there are not a lot of good Xigdems out there. I looked around. There are a lot of one shots…and honestly, I don't think, especially in an M rated story, you can have people expressing love in one chapter. That's really hard to pull off in an M rated story. But…I did find a few that managed to not only be good, but manage to be unique in their own way. But in the end, I have to give props to SugarBeatAngeland her XigDem (Die Hohlen Kosten des Lebens)story for not only grabbing my attention, but for keeping me reading her story for twenty two chapters all while keeping the story accurate as can be, and unique. Now…Xigbar's a Nazi…and Dem's a Jew… (And Saix is still a douche who I still can't stand), and they fall in love during rather peculiar circumstance, and this may not be your cup of tea, but if you like AU's you should give this a try. It has a very interesting story, and it's realistic too. There are a few problems with this story, but most of them stem from the rants that she had to give throughout her story due to people flaming her-for the wrong reasons. No story is perfect, but please don't flame for the wrong reason, spelling errors are one thing-but the setting is another. This is an awesome story, and I could go on about it for a long time, but I'll leave it up to you, since me telling you the whole story would be pointless, despite my wonderful narration abilities. If you do read it, please…don't flame it because it sets place during WWII-remember; you're currently reading a story that revolves around pedophilia (in case you forgot)...there is no reason why any of you guys should flame it.

I will shut up now.

Mhmm yeah, I'll talk about all sorts of thing that I read…basically, if I have a story on my fave list, chances are I'll talk about it...or just the authors in total. Why, because I can, that's why. Call me a media whore if you will...

-Xigbar-

Nostalgia

Braig stared nervously at the door that lead to his master's study. He glanced over to the edge of the hallway, his eyes landing on a very silent Dilan and Even. They were both nervous too.

He closed his eyes for a moment and wondered if this was truly it; if Ansem had finally caught on to what they had been doing the past few months. He could only hope this was nothing more than a false alarm, gods' help him if Ansem found out what was going on beneath this castle.

And so he opened the door, his face and composure as calm as he could possibly muster up considering the situation.

He looked to his master's seat, Ansem quietly going through a few sheets of paper containing some sort of important information. But Braig's attention was far too focused on the mans eyes; which were now looking up to him.

"Have a seat Braig," Ansem said, a smile appearing on his face as he pointed to the chair that was next to his desk.

Braig remained silent as he made himself as comfortable as he could. He looked to his master and frowned.

"You're not in trouble," Ansem said as he got up from his seat, the sheets of paper in his hands. Braig felt a small wave of relief hit him, but it didn't make him feel all too better in the long run. For all he knew, Ansem was trying to play tricks on him, trying to get him to talk without knowing it. But Braig was lucky in the sense that Ansem chose him over the others…he knew how to lie. Even could lie…but Braig could see past it. Dilan couldn't lie…and neither could Aeleus. Ansem was an idiot if he could think that he would simply tell him everything.

Especially something like this.

But if he wasn't in trouble then why was he told to come here? Why would Ansem ask for him? The work Braig did was not the same that Ansem usually partook in. Sure, he had majored in science, but Ansem was really deep into it. He doubted, even if this talk had nothing to do with what was secretly going on, this would be a pleasant talk.

"Not in trouble, hmm," Braig muttered, making sure his voice was heard.

Ansem chuckled.

"Unless you did something you weren't supposed to do…but even then; I've let you off many a time before," Ansem said as he put away the sheets into certain files. Braig didn't say a thing. "No, I'm here to talk about something else…"

Braig lifted an eyebrow at his master, wondering what could possibly be the matter this time. He didn't do anything wrong, or at least anything that caught Ansem's attention.

"Braig, you know I keep a watch over you and the others and you know as well as I know that there's more to this than simple management quotas behind these motives," Ansem said as he sat himself on the chair across from Braig's. "I do it because I care about my apprentices, and because I want to make sure nothing gets in the way of said work, and if there are any emotional problems that seem to be rising, I want to know about them."

Was he expecting him to go off and tell him about the others? Like, a healthy form of tattle-tale? Braig couldn't help but make a face at this, this strange insinuation that he couldn't help but assume at this moment. Did Ansem suspect something, or was he just noticing the tip of the iceberg? Maybe he did suspect something, but didn't know what it was. As far as Braig new, he was good at holding in his emotions…he had done so for so long that he deserved a bloody trophy for it.

"Are you upset?"

Braig's attention was quickly caught once this question was asked. He looked to his Leader, startled by such a question, and quite unsure as to answer it.

Was he unhappy? What was that supposed to mean?

"Uhmm…no?"

Braig wasn't even sure how to even correctly respond to this. His answer was more of a question, and his fear of what was to come was rising, though it was more out of the fact that he simply didn't get what was going on anymore. It was just such an odd thing…

All this aside, Ansem still had a rather calm look pasted across his face. His eyes seemed to simply gaze at Braig's, reading him carefully as if he were lying. Braig wasn't lying, he just had no idea what was going on at the moment.

"Braig, do you know what I'm asking you right now, "Ansem then asked, finally taking notice to the man's confusion.

"How I'm feeling," Braig then answered.

"Yes, but you know that I'm not referring to this exact moment, right," Ansem asked. "That I'm talking about you in general…"

Braig was silent.

A nerve had been pinched, had been tampered with.

"I can recall your "practices"….as I like to call them, and I couldn't help but notice how….utterly weak your relationships are with others," Ansem said as he looked away for a moment. "I know not all of this is my business, but I can't help but worry over your behavior as…"

He's been watching? How was it that he saw a flaw within all of this? Didn't you do a good job pretending to care about all those idiots you were with? You always put on a smile, you kissed them, and you did everything they could have asked for…how is it that he saw past all of this?

Did Ienzo tell?

"…and I often try to respect ones privacy, but lately, with your decline in social behavior, I can't help but wonder if everything I've noticed in the past has had anything to do with what's going on now," Ansem continued on. Braig could barely hear a world the older man was saying. He was too busy trying to find out where he made a mistake. He had slept with them, sometimes more than once…was that not good enough? It wasn't like the others were committing to others….so why should he? Was Ansem expecting him to have made some sort of proposal to a girl by now? Is that what it was?

"…what's wrong with my social behavior," Braig suddenly asked. He was wager to find the flaw within his supposed flawless system.

Ansem looked a bit baffled by this, as if the answer had already been brought up awhile ago. But he answered anyways, being the generous man that he was.

"Braig…"

-Demyx-

The experience

The movies were obviously fake. The romantic things that happened between now than the end were appropriately placed so that everything would seem perfect. So this is why everything that was going on now seemed so fast and strange to him.

It was reality, and it was happening at such a quick pace that he could barely keep up with Xigbar. He wasn't all too ready for this, not after just having confessing himself to the other. He barely got the message that Xigbar felt the same way…just barely. Before he had time to laugh, smile, express his joy in knowing how great it was to be loved and have love; he was removed from the hallway and forced right into his room.

But of course this all had to make sense, everything had to make sense for Demyx. There was reason behind him being hurriedly undressed, his body forced on to a bed by a strong hand.

It all seemed like every action was flying right past him, and for some reason he could not grab hold of any of them.

Off went his cloak.

There goes his boots.

His gloves.

What was the answer?

Xigbar liked him too; otherwise he wouldn't be doing this. Xigbar was doing this because he cared about him, and this is what two people do when they love each other.

They have sex.

Demyx lifted his arm up, trying to feel the other above him, wondering when he'll see more of the older nobody. The hand that was gliding across his chest hoisted itself up and grabbed his hand.

A sign of affection? Demyx closed his eyes as lips kissed his forehead, then his cheek, and then a rough kiss on his lips. His hand felt warm in the others grasp, even if it was a little rough. He felt his face heat up and prickle a bit as he let the older nobody enter his mouth, let his other hand trail across his hot body and tease him. His eyes tightened in a lock even more as he felt the gloved hands play with his zipper, teasing him and taunting him and making him beg for more.

This was happening rather fast; he figured adults waited…

Or was it because they were adults that it was happening so fast? Demyx wasn't all too sure, and it was getting harder for him to wonder about it. The feelings Xigbar evoked in him were making it harder for him to think about anything at the moment, especially with it growing by the second.

But then, Demyx never really knew the more mature side of love. Oh yeah, he had messed around once in a while he had a heart, but he had never gone as far to play in the deeper end of the pool. This was a first, and it sure was brining quite a bit of new experiences to the table.

Demyx made a soft whine as he felt the glove hand slip right in his pants, bringing on a rather familiar feeling that he would usually experience alone. It was right then did he realize that this was occurring in his room, all of this strangeness that he could even barely manage to fantasizes about without blushing madly from embarrassment. Demyx grabbed hold of Xigbar, his arms wrapping tightly around his frame as he felt the hot intensity grow within him, and feeling that pleasurable ecstasy rise as Xigbar continued to pump him.

His back arched as he held on for dear life.

This is what two people do when their in love…

-Xigbar-

He didn't know…but at the same time…he knew.

Braig could literally feel himself holding on for dear life right now. To what; he hadn't the vaguest idea…but it was there. He was afraid, and he had reason to feel so.

Ansem knew there was something wrong with him. He may not know what it was exactly, but he was beginning to put pieces together from everything he had witnessed in the past. Somehow Braig had made a mistake, and now he was paying for it. His leader, teacher, master; he was going to find out his biggest secret.

Off went Demyx's cloak, exposing creamy soft flesh.

He was a freak.

The boots came next, such a pain to remove.

He didn't know everything, but he knew enough. Enough to ask him what was wrong. Enough to tell him that it would be private and that it would never leave the room. Braig felt a shiver run down his spine as he then remembered that he was still sick and incurable. He had tried to fix himself up shortly after Xehanort's arrival...he had to. He had been told that tampering with the darkness was dangerous enough, but to do so with already so much leverage being dragged along; he had to attempt to fix himself in order to et around much easier. So he had…and it was working…

It was working…

Wasn't it?

Why is it that he was caught in the act?

What act; you never did anything…

His fingers were rather soft, despite always playing that stupid instrument.

You never touched them; you never did anything aside from dream. Dreaming isn't a bad thing…how the fuck does he know?!

"You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to," he heard the voice above him say in a still calm and patient tone. "I understand that you may be feeling stressed over what's bothering you, but eventually telling someone is the goal here."

His skin is so soft, so warm and inviting. Can't wait to have him whole, to own every last bit of him…

Goal; you mean you actually want to know the thoughts I've thought of? You want to here my dreams….my idea of what's beautiful and pleasurable? Do you really want to know these kinds of things, Ansem?

Braig looked up to his silent Master, his yellow eye locking in on the others.

I really like him; he's a wonder to behold. I know he's barely hit double digits, but you understand that love has no boundaries, right? You can fall in love with anyone, and if they love you back then its ok, right? I've though about asking him a few times in the past, before Xehanort made me try to fix it up, and I've often wondered what would happen if he let me get closer to him.

Ansem blinked and frowned.

He doesn't look at me the same way anymore. I think it's the scar…probably the scar. It freaks him out, y'know? He's just a kid, and kids scare over small things like that. I'm not any less kind to him though; I still treat him the same. I still hope, even when I told myself it wasn't love, that he would like me back if I tried a little harder.

Ansem got up from his seat.

Why does he like you so much more than me? What did you deserve in order to gain his attention? Tell me please…

You lose, Luxord. He likes me now. I have him all to myself, and you have nothing.

"Braig," Ansem said.

He's so eager…just look how fast he got up. He looks like he won't last too long.

So sweet.

"Yes," Braig muttered. He looked over to his master to see him standing by the door. The door was open, a sign from the heavens that he was now free to go. Braig silently got up from his seat, unsure whether or not it was a good idea to let Ansem see so much of him in that cold gaze of his.

He tastes sweet.

He walked over to the door and looked to his master once more. Ansem still had that damn understanding look on his face, though there seemed to be less of it than before.

Did he get the picture?

Ansem was better off asking about the horrific experiments that was being performed right under his nose. He really was better off…now he would have to worry about what Braig was thinking…now he would have to wonder what sick thoughts were probably going on in his mind.

Get rid of the remaining clothes…their in the way of what you want the most. He wants it….give it to him. Make him addicted…make him want you so you can have him whenever you please.

Braig walked out of the door and took a few more steps before stopping; his master saying his name once more.

Braig turned around and looked to the older man, waiting for his judgment to be placed upon him.

You're disgusting.

I'm afraid I can't have you working here anymore.

Get out.

You need help.

"If you need to tell me more," Ansem said, "I'll be willing to listen."

Braig's eye widened.

"You're not a bad man, Braig," Ansem said as he leaned on the wall. "You've never done anything wrong…"

…

"You just need to think about your life, rethink everything," Ansem concluded. "I know your good inside; otherwise you would have done something long ago…."

Braig nodded his head, but didn't say a word. He simply turned around and walked off to his room, reaming silent all the way. He passed by Dilan, passed by Xehanort and Even, but never said a word to them. He was quiet all the way.

It wasn't until he got to his room did he finally utter a noise, and in the form of laughter.

He laughed.

He laughed and laughed till his body sunk to the floor and tears ran down his face.

Ansem didn't know anything…he had no idea what was going on….he hadn't a clue as to how much he was suffering….

It hurt.

It feels so good.

-Demyx-

Demyx felt a rush of cold hit his heated body as his remaining article of clothing was finally removed from him. He was all exposed under Xigbar, and it made him feel just a bit uncomfortable, though it was more out of shock than anything. He knew this was only odd because he had never done this with him before, and that it was something he would get used to after time went on.

Xigbar lowered himself and kissed Demyx's chest, causing the younger to shiver just a bit as contact was made again. He grabbed on to Xigbar's cloak, which was still on for some reason, Demyx didn't think much of it though, and whimpered as he felt Xigbar's warm lips travel lower and lower, the kisses lasting longer as they descended.

Demyx blushed and made a soft moan as he felt lips press against the tip of his all too hard erection, his whole body quivering in agony as he felt the need to climax grow in him. But Xigbar was taking his time, teasing him and torturing him with passion. It made Demyx feel loved, but at the same time it killed him to know that this may last longer.

Demyx felt the warmth of Xigbar's body leave him for a brief moment, causing him to open his eyes and see what was going on. He felt one of his legs being roughly grabbed, Xigbar taking control of it and moving it so that he could enter Demyx.

Demyx blushed as he knew Xigbar got an open wide view of him, and Xigbar not saying a word during this time made him a bit nervous. Did people talk during these times? Was it ok for him to ask questions right now?

He wanted to ask.

-Xigbar-

Xigbar smirked at the lovely body beneath him, oh so eager to have him in every way possible. He knew he would have to be careful now; rough-housing with Demyx would only lead to problems. Demyx was probably new to this, whether he was a virgin or not, this would be his first time for something. And knowing this only made Xigbar even more excited. He would claim him all for his own, and Demyx would be long to him and only him.

Not Luxord, not Axel…not anyone.

Not even Demyx.

He grabbed Demyx's leg and pull it away, forcing him apart and taking a good look at what he was about to own.

He should probably prep him…blood is never a good sign, no matter how great of a lube it would make, Demyx wouldn't go for it. No, he would have to be careful with his present…have to take acre of it the first few times.

He would have to be gentle, and he would have to be slow; he needed to have Demyx begging for more.

And he would only be so grateful to give him more.

He'll get rough over time…first things first.

Xigbar removed his one glove, using his teeth as he held Demyx's leg with his other hand. His eyes were locked on the prize, and as far as he was concerned; nothing would get in the way…

"Xigbar?"

Xigbar halted his advance and looked to Demyx. The two met face to face for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Xigbar could feel his need grow…what did Demyx want now?

"Yeah," he asked, holding in his lustful tone as best as he could.

"…will this hurt," Demyx asked in a rather shameful voice. Xigbar wanted nothing more than to laugh at that. Demyx hadn't been with another guy? Or was he really a virgin? Xigbar remained silent for a moment as he struggled over being honest or simply straightforward with the boy. Either way, it was going to hurt…

Xigbar sighed.

This better not make him change his mind…Xigbar didn't want to wait. He had waited long enough; he wouldn't wait any longer now. If Demyx dared changed his mind he would use force.

"Yes," Xigbar said. "It's gonna hurt."

He could see a nervous look grow on Demyx's face.

Great…

Lie…

"Don't worry," Xigbar added soon after. "It'll get better…trust me."

Demyx looked to Xigbar. He could see that Demyx was more than willing to continue right now. He couldn't help but be thankful for all those times he had helped the younger nobody; it was all repaying itself…Demyx trusted him…

"…ok."

Xigbar smirked.

-Demyx-

He really is sweet.

A bit too quiet and a bit too rushed…

But I know he's looking out for me.

Demyx smiled at the nobody hovering above him and told him "ok", not feeling so afraid about what was going to happen. He knew Xigbar loved him and wouldn't dare lie to him; he had never done so before.

Demyx let his smile fade as he felt another strange sensation hit his body. His body quivered a bit and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, everything that had occurred reoccurring in his head.

But the more important details….him being nude while the other remained clothed, the fact that there was almost absolute silence between them…and the fact that hardly any eye-contact was made…it didn't seem to have hit him.

Poor thing.

What, it ends there? But why?

I'm not trying to frustrate you or anything, but there is a point to be made in this chapter, and it ain't the sex. It's me trying to remind you that Xigbar is messed up and he isn't emotionally in love with Demyx (not yet that is…). Don't worry, I'll have other scenes in the future, and some may have more going on in them. But right now I'm trying to establish the current relationship, and if you paid attention you would have noticed just how unloving Xigbar was (he's such a whore), even in Demyx's point of view, though Demyx really didn't notice this. and no, Demyx isn't some sort of gullible idiot; he just naturally assumes that Xigbar cares for him. Honestly, you have no idea who is or isn't normal by simply looking at them; you have to get deep enough to figure out the uglies that they are hiding. so yeah; Demyx is smart...somewhat.

And as for the smex scenes; depending on content, I may post two versions of the chapter. I know some of you like yaoi and all that, but some of you may be reading this simply because you like the storyline or the plot or whatever else…either way, I'll have information in both of them, the only difference will be implied sex in the edited one, if I should do one.

I love HP…you'll see references of it once in a while…lol.