Poe was in a dream (nightmare?) that Kylo was looking at him. That was all, really. Just looking down on him from some mindscape, doing nothing else, while Poe was concerned (afraid?) that at any moment, Kylo might use his powers and invade his mind like he had during the interrogation. Something touched his body, his shoulder, like a disembodied hand trying to wake him. Kylo? he tried to project.

There didn't seem to be anything there. He blinked his eyes open in Hux's quarters on the Finalizer. The lights were on at half. He remembered Armitage's nightmare from before, waking up feeling Snoke was near or whatever. Was he? Force users didn't always … die. Poe knew that. He'd heard the stories of how Kenobi died and became one with the Force. Hell, Poe had spoken at length about it during the eulogy for L'ampar. Was Snoke lingering around the wreck of the Supremacy, haunting the area? Was that what he'd sensed?

Rey? he thought, hoping he was just being paranoid. If he thought Kylo's mental presence was actually Snoke, then maybe it was Rey instead of Kylo. How the hell am I supposed to know this stuff?

"Poe?" That was Hux's voice.

"Huh?" He turned to see Hux on his back, hair in the usual disarray from sleep.

"You said you wanted to watch."

A quick glance showed Hux had pushed down the cover. His pajama bottoms were around his thighs and his erection was exposed. His erection. Every worry about Force-projections disappeared instantly. Poe finished rolling over, eyes alight and mouth open slightly. "Hey. Yeah."

Hux rubbed himself absently with three fingers. He wasn't entirely hard, the penis canting across his lower abdomen, pointing in Poe's direction. "Don't touch me. Don't start to touch me. Not any part of me. Don't ask or tease me." Hux waited for him to respond. Poe nodded, knowing Hux well enough not to take offense.

Hux began, or so Poe realized in retrospect. At the time, Poe thought it was just casual rubbing – three fingers up and down the bottom of the shaft (or top in the current orientation). He would have thought it was nothing until Hux started shifting his hips and tensing. He was only barely what Poe would have considered 'hard'. Hux grimaced a few times, then used four fingers in a steady sweep, then actually gripped himself around the top third of his length.

His tugs and strokes lacked the vigor Poe would have used on himself (or that he'd ever seen others use on themselves, or seen in pornography). He was quietly thankful Hux had enough sense to limit Poe to watching, because if he'd been in the pilot's seat for this flight, he would have already crashed and burned.

The jerking off took very little time from the time Hux wrapped his hand around himself. Seconds, really, before he was giving shaky breaths and then ejaculating moments later. Poe was nearly overcome by the urge to reach for him and barely caught himself. His hands twitched and Hux's eyes darted to them. Hux's hand covered his penis lightly, but he said nothing. He relaxed slowly.

That was … nowhere in the middle of the range of sexual performance as Poe knew it. It was off to the side somewhere. Obviously functional and Hux seemed satisfied with himself, so that was apparently normal for him. It cast Hux's self-evaluation in a whole new light – more self-aware than Poe had thought and the insecurity about being judged deficient made more sense.

Hux gathered up the far corner of the cover and cleaned himself up. He set that corner aside and pulled up his pajama pants. Only then did he invite contact, rolling to face Poe and sliding into an embrace. "You can speak now," Hux said.

He hadn't expressly forbidden it before, but Poe was doubly glad he'd held his tongue. "Thank you for letting me watch."

"I believe that's the first time I've done that since Snoke was killed."

"You mean since sometime before Snoke was killed?"

"No."

Poe pulled back and gave him a perplexed look. "Are you saying you jerked off because Snoke died?"

"I was very glad he was dead."

"Oh." Yes, that was exactly what he was saying.

Hux added, "I was also insensible when the stimulants finally wore off after the Battles of D'Qar and Crait. Mood alterations, impaired judgment, and hallucinations are common side effects. I confined myself to quarters for an entire cycle. I've never had that response to a stim-crash before; the silence in my head was … erotic. It was so remarkably private. I thought Ren would do the same to me soon enough, but for that moment, I was alone not only in the room, but in my own head."

"Oh. That makes it sound a lot less morbid than it did at first."

Hux snorted. Poe rubbed his cheek once against Hux's, eliciting an exasperated noise. "You need a shave!" Hux said, pulling his face away from the stubble. "I'm going to get up."

Poe grinned at him and sprawled out in the bed, adjusting himself after Hux had climbed over him. "Would it bother you if I laid here and took care of myself? I liked watching you do that."

"No, not at all." Hux looked down at him thoughtfully from beside the bed. "This is going to work, between us." It was a realization, not a question. Poe smiled up at him. The corners of Hux's eyes crinkled in response. He headed off to the refresher looking quite pleased. It was an image Poe kept with him as he turned to his own needs.

Hux returned from the refresher cleaned up and dressed in an undershirt and underwear. Poe was still on the bed, limbs stretched to take up as much of it as he could. A light sheen of sweat stood out on him from his exertions. Hux picked up a chair from the other room and brought it in, setting it near the top of the bed. He took a seat.

"I have a few things to say."

Poe looked up at him, those heavy lids screening his eyes, dark hair tousled, well-muscled chest visible in the wide V of his half-open pajama top. The necklace Poe usually wore lay in the middle of it like he'd been toying with it – the ring of some past lover, Hux assumed. Poe's expression was relaxed and satisfied.

Hux caught himself from being uncharacteristically distracted by the look on Poe's face. He blinked and refocused. "First off, I spoke with Admiral Prok the other day about my position regarding marriage to you. To be brief, it will not be granted. I may continue to have guests so long as your stay is intermittent, does not distract from my duty, or constitute a burden. Negotiations for the new government are going well. I would expect the Order to be dissolved in six months to a year. I will resign then, if your offer continues to stand."

"It will." Poe's eyes were wider. His voice gentle.

A small smile touched Hux's lips. "You would wait for the likes of me? Then I must broach the next topic." Hux's tongue touched his upper lip briefly, then he spoke. "I have mischaracterized things to different individuals as it was convenient for me. It is important that you be familiar with these stories so as not to be outraged when you encounter them."

Poe rolled to his side, stretching his arm under the pillow as he propped himself up his elbow, his hand on his head. He listened.

"I have implied that our relationship is much more sexually aggressive than it is in reality, casting myself in a dominant role and you, submissive. I have also implied that our relationship is a manipulative effort of mine to establish control over the Resistance, that I can direct you at specific targets, and sever your supply lines as needed." Hux stopped there, waiting for Poe to digest that and respond.

"Some of that's true," Poe said.

"The best lies are."

Poe shifted his hips, drawing up one knee to be more comfortable. "I'd been wondering what the First Order's take was on us."

Hux shrugged. "There's no need for approbation if I can convince people I'm motivated out of impersonal ruthlessness instead of foolish sentiment."

"I think it's both."

"Then we understand one another. For the time being, I remain the grand marshal of the First Order and I will continue to fulfill my duty as such. That includes doing my best to nullify any threats. I don't expect it to impact you, but it is important that you know how I have framed it to others."

"You're doing right by the Order. I get it. That's okay." Poe rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. "Do you have any idea how profoundly I've fucked things up for the Resistance?"

"By being with me?"

"Nah." Poe turned to look at Hux. "I mean before that. I doubt it came up in that profile you ran on me. It's all recent stuff and it's not like we're keeping good records at the moment." Hux listened. "You won the war. Sure. But I lost it. I fucked things up so badly that it took the combined sacrifices of Admiral Holdo, Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa to save even just the ten percent of us who got away. Then on top of that, Leia put me in charge." Poe shook his head, his expression vulnerable at the responsibility she'd given him.

"Hugs, I don't know how to live up to that much faith. I stood there on Naboo after her funeral wanting to take a blaster to her son's head, because he was cozier with Rey than I wanted. Like I had some sort of say in that. It just ran all through me. Tossing me in that lake was the best thing he could have done. I needed a wake-up call – another one – because I'm an idiot." He sighed. "And then you standing there next to what I thought was a kriffing Sith lord, ready to fight for him instead of getting yourself back to safety? I realized I'd gotten you guys all wrong.

"I'd gotten everything wrong. The way I used to do things got so many people killed. Friends. Heroes. Good people. And for what? So I could stand over their grave and lie to myself about how they haven't really left us?" Poe rolled on his side, facing Hux. "There is a place in war for impersonal ruthlessness. But there's also a place for sentiment. I got so wrapped up in trying to burn the First Order down that I didn't think about you guys as people willing to die for each other just as much as we were. You were no more than a bunch of targets.

"But now, every time we get together, you and me, you do something new that seems just … preposterous from the outside. Absurd. Then I get your side of it. Your point of view." Poe's mouth curled in a smile. "And it makes sense. There's logic to it, if I just slow down, take my finger off the trigger, and listen to you. I don't need to burn the First Order down. I've handed you the torch and you're doing it for me. Gone in a year without anyone else dying on either side? Hugs, you can tell people whatever you need to tell them. My ego gets what it needs every time you let me into your heart just a little more."

Hux drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You have shown me things I didn't know existed outside of lies and make-believe, much less that such feelings could ever be directed at myself. Your affection and support are a tremendous motivation to me."

Poe smiled languidly. "One thing I want to know – are you ever going to say you love me, using those words? Or are you going to keep dancing around it?"

"I … does it make a difference?" It was as much a question for himself as Poe.

"Yeah, a little." The man sat up in front of him, their knees touching. Poe took off the chain of his necklace and settled it over Hux's head. Hux looked down at the ring dangling from it with a tiny frown. "But either way," Poe said, "I want you to wear this until I can put it on your finger."

"The token of another lover?" It seemed so disrespectful to marry Hux with someone else's ring. There had better be a very good story behind this.

"What?"

"Is this a custom I am unfamiliar with?" Hux looked up at Poe skeptically.

Poe grinned in realization and laughed. "That's my mother's! Hugs! I wouldn't-!" He shook his head and reached out to lift the ring. "This is my mother's ring that she wore in love of my father. It's not … I've never given it to anyone else. I've never felt about anyone else the way I do about you." He chuckled again and settled it against Hux's chest, pressing it to him for a moment. "Even if we have a bunch of misunderstandings."

Hux lifted it off and saw the way Poe flinched when he did so. He stopped in mid-motion. "May I look at it?" Poe nodded. It was a plain steel ring, indistinguishable from a spacer or a cylindrical washer, complete with machining marks on it. The only reason Poe would carry something this plain was if it were deeply meaningful to him. Sincerely, Hux said, "I'm charmed," and replaced it around his neck. Poe exhaled and relaxed.

He reached out and took Poe's right hand, cradling it in both of his. Hux leaned forward and said, clearly and with only a moment of hesitation, "I love you, Poe Dameron. If those words are the ones you want to hear, then they are the ones I will use."

Poe shut watering eyes and moved forward to hug him. "Yeah, you're right," Poe said with a catch to his voice. "This is going to work."