In another life, I would be your girl.

We keep all our promises,

Be us against the world.

In another life, I would make you stay.

So I don't have to say you were

The one that got away,

The one that got away.

Bilbo checked again that he wasn't leaving anything behind. He didn't have much to take with him, yet he wanted to make sure all his little belongings came back with him. He hadn't slept at all last night remembering the kiss and Thorin's words. "Amrâlimê" he had told him, and even if Bilbo didn't understand the secret language of the dwarves, he had understood perfectly the meaning of that word. His heart sunk irredeemably and he had a knot in his stomach that made it impossible to eat anything.

Bilbo closed his rucksack and put it on his shoulder, he must leave and the sooner the better. He knew Gandalf would be waiting for him at the doors of the kingdom. He didn't know how he was going to say goodbye to the others, or if Thorin would be there. Bilbo didn't know if he would rather see Thorin one last time or leave with the memory of last night, with the warmth of his lips, with the love of his gaze. Bilbo shook his head, forcing himself to forget such nonsensical thoughts. He was not a lad in his youth anymore; those ideas were not appropriate for someone his age, and much less if the object of affection was a dwarven king. "You are doing the right thing," he told himself once again. Bilbo looked at the beautiful room and left, going straight to the front door taking care not to meet anyone he knew. However, at the door, together with two guards that were doubtlessly of Dain's legions, he found Balin. "If you owe someone a goodbye, it's him." And with said thoughts he walked towards the dwarf.

'Bilbo,' said Balin when he saw him. 'I see it's true, you are leaving us.'

'That's right, Balin. I must leave. It's time to go back home.'

The dwarf gave him a sad look, but didn't try to change his mind.

'Could you say goodbye to the others for me? Could you tell them they are more than welcome to come by whenever they wish?'

'You could tell them yourself,' said the old dwarf with a smile that made it clear he knew what Bilbo was going through. He didn't know why, but the hobbit had always suspected that Balin knew more than he let on. Bilbo scrunched his noise in a sign of annoyance; he knew Balin's words carried truth, he ought to say goodbye, but he couldn't. Once again he was running away from Erebor like a thief.

Balin touched his shoulder in an affectionate gesture. 'Ease, laddie. Go in peace. But don't forget us. Don't forget to write.'

'I could never forget you,' replied Bilbo with a thankful smile. In the distance Gandalf was coming closer. It was time to go. Balin patted his shoulder fondly and Bilbo prepared to leave, but a deep voice he knew very well prevented him from doing so, making his eyes close, tensing up without noticing.

'Leave us,' commanded Thorin to Balin and the two guards, and so they did. Balin, however, before leaving, patted his shoulder again in a sign of support, as if he knew what had happened between them.

Bilbo didn't turn around, he waited for Thorin to get near him. On the other side of the bridge Gandalf waited with his horse and a pony.

'You are leaving my kingdom like a thief in the night.' Thorin's tone of voice wasn't harsh nor reproachful, but rather neutral, like he was trying to hide his emotions, and Bilbo didn't know what to do with neutral. He was used to a passionate Thorin, who didn't hesitate on insulting or giving gallant speeches, not to a restrained one - however, he didn't want to leave with a bad taste in his mouth.

'I didn't want to cause a scene. I'm sure you have more important things to do.'

Thorin nodded and looked at Gandalf. Bilbo didn't know what to say, didn't know if they should talk about last night or make as if it never happened for their friendship's sake, or what was left of it.

He wanted to say something, but at the same time he wanted to enjoy the silence. He had missed being like this with Thorin, in silence, without the need for talking. That silence should have been uncomfortable, but it wasn't. It was familiar, comforting, it was what their relationship had been in its best moments, before the disaster at Erebor, and it was precisely that which made it even more painful. A part of Bilbo told him he should stay, that he and Thorin had a future together, that they could work as a couple, that the silence was proof of that. But another part of Bilbo, a more Baggins part, told him he was living in a tale of fairies and trolls. He must see the reality as it was and not how he wanted it to be. He and Thorin were nothing more than two people that had come together for a mutual benefit, friends at best, yes, friends, nothing else. Thorin didn't need a hobbit at his side. Thorin had a kingdom to rebuild and many things to do and there was no place for Bilbo there when everything came back to normal.

'You will always be welcome,' said Thorin breaking the silence. 'If one day you wish to return, you will always be welcome.'

Bilbo didn't know what to say except thank you. He was fighting to hold back tears. Thorin saw Gandalf waiting and looked at Bilbo with so much love and pain in his eyes that Bilbo couldn't help but whimper.

'Go back to your home, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, your armchair, plant your trees and watch them grow. If more people valued home above gold this world would be a merrier place, but now you must go, the wizard awaits you.'

'Thorin…'

But Thorin didn't let him speak, he looked at him for a last time and bid him farewell.

'It's been an honour to meet you. I wish you a good journey to your home.' And saying that he was gone, leaving Bilbo alone.

Bilbo breathed heavily and turned to go meet the wizard. There were many things he would have liked to tell Thorin, but he hadn't been able to. He had been afraid if he'd opened his mouth he'd do something stupid.

'Ready to go back home?' Inquired Gandalf.

Bilbo nodded and got on the pony, letting the wizard guide him, and saying no word for a long time. Left behind was Erebor, which would be again the most powerful kingdom of the dwarves on all Middle Earth. Left behind was the company, strangers that had become friends that he had left without saying goodbye. Left behind were his extravagant dreams, left behind was a life he hadn't even dare to imagine. He didn't look back as he went away, because nothing was there for him, but if he'd had, he could have seen the King under the Mountain on the main balcony, staring in his direction and whispering words only he could hear.

'Look back. Look back and look at me.'

But Bilbo never looked back and the King went into his big mountain, leaving behind himself the dreams of Thorin Oakenshield, for that dwarf did no longer exists, he had left the mountain with Bilbo. Now he ought to be King, ought to devote himself to his people, ought to rebuild his kingdom. There was much to do, and Bilbo wasn't there to help him anymore.

Thank You so much for all the comments that keep me posting.