AN: I have a personal bias against zombie movies; I've never seen a decent one. So in case you can't tell, this fic is a bit odd, possibly OOC, but hopefully you'll still enjoy it! Oh, and I've never written this pairing before, so let me know how it turned out!
AN: By the way, for those of you who don't know, CHUD is an acronym for cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers.
Abby tossed back another mouthful of popcorn, watching the film in utter disappointment, "They just don't make good zombie movies anymore!" she complained, watching the group of unsuspecting coeds being chased by the abnormally fast swarm of the living dead
Tony reached for the pile of snacks situated in Abby's lap, "When did they ever?" she slapped his hand away as it wandered a bit too close for comfort, "What?"
"Hands off my duds!" she held the box of Milk Duds just out of his reach, taking the last few from the carton and popping them in her mouth, watching the look of shock on Tony's face, "Oh, come on! You've got so many cavities, you can't even eat them!"
"I can," he insisted, checking the empty box for non-existent leftovers, "I just have to chew on the other side. Defend your genre, Abbs; name me one, just one, good zombie movie!"
Abby closed her eyes in concentration, "Dawn of the Dead, classic horror! Before the whole super-fast, totally non-zombie zombies."
"The exception, not the rule," he pointed out, watching bits of fake brain goo splatter the movie screen, "Chalk one up for the cheesy side. Compare one good movie to the thousands of bad ones? It doesn't work that way. Chud, or even worse, Chud 2? Awful, and not in the way you want a horror movie to be awful!"
"Hey, I had a chud!" Abby noted proudly, "Well, it was a hermit crab I named 'chud' but still!" she thought about it for a second, "Okay, they never should have made a sequel, but the original is a classic."
"Classic doesn't mean good, Abbs," he pointed out, "I mean, you fell asleep during Wizard of Oz!" he was never going to let that one go. She didn't even make it half-way through before falling asleep on the couch
"It was boring!" she maintained, "Singing, dancing, little people dressed all whimsically, it was creepy and wrong! I had nightmares about it for like a month! At least zombie movies are supposed to be scary!"
Tony stared at the screen incredulously, "Really? Threatening to eat someone's brains for the thousandth time, scaring coeds into fleeing into the woods where they know they're going to get eaten, because like five other people have already been eaten there, is scary? Maybe the first time, but when its the basis for every zombie movie ever?"
Abby sighed, knowing there was no arguing with the ultimate film critic, "Okay, you don't like it. I get that. But why did you agree to come if you hate zombie movies?"
Tony raised an eyebrow at her, "You're kidding, right?" he laughed a bit, "Abby, no one goes to a drive in to watch the movie. Why do you think nothing good ever plays?" the gleam in his eyes reflected mischief and she loved it, "Think about it; sitting in the dark, in your car, loud movie so no one can hear...you following?"
"Men..." Abby groaned. She was following alright, "Everything is sex to you, isn't it?" she knew she was being a bit unfair, using the stereotype to classify men in general; a description that fit Tony pretty well though. "Well, not everything. There's sports, food, and TV too."
"See? Give us a little credit!" Tony smirked
"Yeah, I know," she unbuckled her seat, "I'm just surprised it took you of all people that long to get it!" Abby looked up at the screen again, finally willing to admit that she too was disappointed, "Okay, wanna jump in the back seat, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing?" she grinned wickedly
"Finally, something we agree on!" Tony leaped over the seat, putting his arms around Abby from behind. In his best monotonous zombie voice, he groaned, "Tony want brains, want body!"
"Okay, that's beyond creepy!" she shoved his arms away, climbing over the seat to join him, "Bad zombie!"
"Oh, come on!" he pleaded, peeling off her shirt, "It was a little cute." he held his fingers about an inch apart, only to have her push them closer together, "Okay, very little. Actually, just creepy, but it worked."
Abby rolled over, her heart still racing, "Okay...which screams were ours...and which were from the movie?" she panted, catching her breath
"Well, unless there was a rabid wolf being tortured in the movie, those were yours," Tony grinned, looking around to realize that theirs was practically the only car left, "Wow, its late. We missed the movie?"
"Yeah, what a shame..." Abby muttered sarcastically
"We should probably head back then, huh?" he tossed Abby her panties, hanging from the rear-view mirror, "Otherwise, some creepy teenager working concessions is gonna come by with a flashlight, making sure we're still alive back here and get an eyeful."
"Oh, come on!" Gibbs pleaded, "You can't say you've never wanted to do it."
Jen rolled her eyes, handing him back his flashlight, "Alright. But keep in mind, ten years ago, this was the other way around?"
"Ten?" Gibbs grinned, forcing her to smack him, "Hey, if you say so. One over there, up front," he pointed out the last car in the row. Most of the vehicles had already left. He turned on the flashlight, crouching low enough to avoid detection, Jen at his heels
"I can't believe this...what are we, twelve?" Jen smirked, not willing to admit she was getting a thrill out of it too
"Ready?" he counted down on his fingers. Three, two, one. He jumped up, shining a light through the window at the lovebirds in the back seat. A blood curdling shriek nearly burst his eardrums, or at least made him grateful that he could already sign. The scream was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it
"We should probably go before someone calls the cops," Jen insisted, tugging at Gibbs' coat. As usual, she had to be the voice of reason
"Gibbs!" a shrill voice yelled.
"Abby?!" Gibbs' jaw dropped along with the flashlight
She signed through the fogged up window, "Not nice, Gibbs. Not nice..."