A/N: I deleted it, I deleted me whiny bitchy stupid note. It was time.

Sorry it took so long, I'm really really busy lately.

...

*Draco's POV*

My eyes fell on the beautiful girl laying next to me. She was cuddled into my chest, her leg draped over mine, her knee higher than my belly button. She was a goddess. A goddess I didn't want to destroy. And I would if I stayed. I would if I left. She told me in the library, she said those three fatal words. She loved me. And I loved her. It was a death sentance for us both. Out of habit I again tried scratching the black, ugly mark on my arm off, but it stayed put. it wouldn't go away. I hated it. I couldn't stop staring at the angel which lounged on me. I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't. I needed to leave her. I needed to make her forget so she wouldn't miss me.

But if I made her forget, I could do it over again. I could do the right thing. Instead of kidnapping her and raping her (I shuddered and almost vomited at the rememberance of what I had done,) I could start being nice to her. Who cares what those nasty snakes in Slytherin who said they were my friends think. All that mattered was her. She deserved better than me. I could change. I'd been talking to Snape about ways to live with the Mark without being hunted and controlled by the Dark Lord. I could be another spy.

What could I do with her? Even if I changed I would still be mean and nasty as usual. Nothing about me is different after having the Mark burned into me against my will. I was never evil, just cruel and controlled by what my father expects from me. So should I leave? I can't leave while she's sleeping now. No, I would wait until tomorow when she goes to bed and let her think it was all just a dream.

She wasn't that dumb, and leaving her was just as cruel as staying with her. Maybe erasing her memory of our time together would be best. It was my mistake by letting my feelings control me. i thought I could handle it. I thought I could tell her, but look where that's gotten me. She thinks she loves me when it's impossible for her to. i've raped her, beaten her, and left her to fend off her friends. I've teased her. O gods, I ruined everything! Erasing her memory was the safest and best way to do this. But how the hell was I going to do this? False love or not, I have her love. To give it away would be suicidal. I couldn't just pretend it never happened. I couldn't obliviate myself, because then I would still like her, and might do it again.

Gods. What the hell do I do?

I heard her breathing stop for a moment, then a long moan. "Good morning Draco." She mumbled happily, still half asleep.

"Good morning my love." I whispered back, stroking her hair and letting her close her eyes and relish the feeling. She moaned again, but this time not because she woke up.

"Food." She groaned.

I smiled at her, kissed her forehead, and went to the kitchen. I had changed the Room. Since we didn't need the time charm, I left that out, but this time included a stocked kitchen, and a bathroom complete with a shower. Other than that, it was the same set up, this time changed to a cozy chestnut color that matched her hair instead of ruby for the furniture.

In the kitchen I whipped up some toast, eggs, and bacon. I made two plates, and brought them out to the couch, where Hermione was already waiting.

"Yum!" She said. She was wearing nothing but her red cotton bra and panties. She was insanely beautiful, I couldn't stop staring.

"What did you dream about last night Draco?" She asked after eating all her bacon and starting on her toast and eggs. I watched as she dipped the corner of the bread into the egg yolk and swirled it around, then bit off the end she had just dipped, and finally chewed. I was fasinated.

"Um, I don't dream actually. Well, I'm sure I do, but I'm one of those people that never remember their dreams, no matter how hard they try." I said quietly, nibbling on my toast.

She stopped eating. "That's horrible. I couldn't survive without dreams. They're my only escape from reality. In my dreams, I could make You-Know-Who disappear with a snap. I can't imagine that. I'm sorry."

"It's not that big a deal. It's not even something to get used to. You just sleep, then wake up." I tried to explain.

She looked distant, like she was in deep thought. Maybe I should've lied and said I dreamt about pink jelly. She obviously loved dreams.

"I hate Divinations, but the only part that's even useful about it, is the dreams. Learning how to tell what your dreams mean. Dreams can tell you the past present and future. Things you know, things you don't know, things you wish so deeply it's terrifying. Dreams are the most psychologically incredibly impossible thing about the human brain. How the brain can sense and remember like that. It's... it's mind-blowing."

I stayed silent, letting it sink in. It was all true. Dreams were mind-blowing, and I had always wished to experience one.

"I want to have a dream." I whispered, Not even knowing it slipped past my lips.

Hermione turned and hugged me tightly. "Are you done eating yet?" She said, hopefully changing the subject. I nodded. "Want to take a shower with me?"

My eyes flew open, and I stared at her, very surprised she would suggest something as intimate as that. She just smirked, and turned to levitate the dishes into the kitchen to clean themselves.

I almost said yes, wantinng to fufill my desire to shower with her, and wash her, maybe even worship her in the most intimate of ways. But II didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to slip up. And us being naked together in a hot steamy shower wasn't going to help my cause.

She must have more balls than me, because as I open my mouth to tell her I'd rather wait out here and read a book to distract myself from thinking about her in the shower, she grabbed my hand, and pulled me in the bathroom with her.

"Hermione, i hate to play the hair card, but my hair isn't supposed to get wet for the next tweleve hours or it will frizz almost as bad as yours." I lied, tossing in a joke at the end to try and ward off guilt.

"At least stay in here and give me company. I don't like just leaving you out there all alone." She stepped into shower. I saw her bra fly over the top, landing on the floor, followed by her panties. I gulped, thinking of anything but Hermione naked.

"Fine, but I'm not getting in there." My voice broke at the end as the shower turned on and I heard her moan at the heat. O gods.

"You don't have to. I would never want to endanger your hair." She joked.

In the frosty glass I could see just her outline, and it looked as if she were washing her hair now. I heard the occasional rush of water that was her washing out the soap. Next I saw her hands head to the corner where I knew body soap was. I could see as she rubbed it over her arm, then the other arm. Next I could see it rubbing over her chest. I looked away automatically when I saw her outline showed her breasts jiggle as she washed them. I gulped in more air as I tried to ignore the tent in my pants.

I took three more breaths before looking back to see her rubbing her legs. Her back was against the far wall, so she was facing me. Her leg was up, and I knew if it wasn't for that stupid frosted door, I would see her perfect, water soaked pussy. Again I lost his breath as I pictured the sight without the door in the way.

I heard her soap drop on the floor, but she didn't bend over to retrieve it. Her leg stayed in the air where it was. Then I heard her moan. It was small, like she was trying to hide it. I looked closer and realized i could see her tiny hand moving over the centre of her legs. She was masturbating. She moaned again louder, followed by a gasp when she realized how loud she made it. Or maybe not because she kept going, moaning more and more as she continued, getting louder and faster. This was torture. Exactly why I needed to get out of here. "Draco." She moaned.

I could tell she was asking, not just moaning. So, against my better judgement, I took off the boxers I was wearing, and opened the door to the shower.

Her leg was mounted on a corner so she could get full access to that beautiful clit of hers. She was rubbing it with her thumb while she worked two fingers in and out of her core. Her other hand was pinching her nipple. Her eyes were closed and showed all signs of begging for release.

I got down on my knees, shifted her slightly so no water would drown me, and moved her hand. I let my tongue flit across her clit, and she moaned. I sucked a bit, then licked her harshly, making her moan and hiss from pleasure. I then slid one finger into her depths, enjoying her reaction, followed by a second. I continued to lick her nub, and finger fuck her at the same time until she screamed loudly. "Draco!" She cried, yelling it over and over, until she came down off her high.

She smirked at me as she panted for breath. I knew what she was going to do. She thought it was my turn. I coouldn't let that happen. I would lose it. I'd never be able to do what I had to do.

"Who's up for lunch?" I winked, distracting her. I slid out of the shower, summoning two towels for us to dry.

I walked her up to the Gryffindor dorms like a gentleman. I kissed her goodnight like a good boy. I held back the tears I so badly wanted to let fall like I knew whould be best for everyone.

"I love you Hermione." I whispered as I pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you too Draco" She smiled. And turned to walk to her room.

That was when a traitor tear slid down my cheek. "Obliviate!" I whispered.

She turned around and gave me a funny look. "What are you looking at mudblood." I sneered as best I could.

"A slimy ferret." She answered annoyed, then ran into the common room after whispering the password.

I ran to the nearest bathroom before collapsing in my own tears. This was what was best for her. And that's all that mattered.