A/N: Sorry guys, this one was late and pretty crap. I could have done better but this keyboard sucks and this keyboard sucks. Also, I didn't know what to write even though I had been planning it for a week now. I also know that Alexus was averted a little too quickly but he's gay, and he will move on to someone else. -spoiler- Sorry it was so short, I will try my best to make the next one longer. Your disgruntled writer. Maaya.

The idea was to create feelings of hatred, loathing and aversion.

The objective was to make Alexus absolutely, despicably hate Edward.

Here I was standing behing a curtain laughing my flat backside off. We were standing in the Taj Mahal restaurant - the cheapest and quite possibly strangest eating place ever. There was not a single person here who could speak decent English which meant that everything had be said twice, unless it was something like 'curry' per sey.

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and I were sheathed behind a thing red velvet curtain squished together viewing the little episode going on on the other side. Alexus and Edward were officially on their date. Alexus was dressed in a striking red shirt and black trousers, and reminded me of Rosalie and her prom dress, of course if I ever told her that, she'd probably rape my face. After a couple rounds of private strip poker, I had managed to dress him in a hot shocking pink shirt and green trousers - he looked like a genetically modified tree. The table had cheap plastic roses and aketchup bottle which looked like it had been refilled more than four times. The smell of 'masalas' hung through the air

"No, no Alexus, you must try the 'Kerala Karela Fry!' " Edward insisted.

"Ehh, I think I shall pass, it does not look too great" Alexus replied, unsure.

"But it tastes ravishing!" Edward continued to insist. I stifled my laughter.

Kerala was a state in Southern India, whereas Karela wasbitter gourd - a green slimey vegetable which tasted intensely bitter.

" Ugh, fine, I'll have one" Alexus gave up, feeling defeated.

Edward's smile was breathtaking.

"HEY!! ORDER PLEASE!!" Alexus uncharacteristically yelled, which sounded strange as I was so used to his sodt humming voice.

The waitor came, smiling like a maniac, "What can I do for you two fine young brothers?"

Brothers, he thought they were brothers! Poor guy, so oblivious - maybe homosexuality isn't widely accepted in his home country. Alexus looked horrified at his assumption but Edward in contrast looked quite pleased/

"Two Kerala Karela Fry please" Alexus said in a dismissive tone.

"Ohh yes, great great" The waitor nodded his head

"Make that 1, i'll have a chicken curry, thanks" Edward said angelically to the waitor.

Alexus was clearly trying to repress a bitch glare. Beside me Alice giggled like a little five year old and Rosalie was howling into Emmett's chest.

The waitor once again bobbed his head up, down and around and walked away towards the kitchen.

Alexus had seemed to calm down so he decided to make small talk, "Ahhh I miss Greece - so much variety" He sighed.

Was that a refence to men? What a perverted, horny guy. I shuddered.

"Huh? Why would you miss grease? You get it everywhere! Chip grease, wax grease..." Edward exclaimed.

Emmett literally shook the curtain with laughter and shook us with him. Who knew Edward could be so retarded?

Alexus looked a little shocked but immediately composed himself, wanting to make this relationship work. Hah, like it ever would.

The waitor came in with two pots of runny sauce and frail looking crackers which he signalled to take a spoonful of sauce and pur it into the crackers and eat it. Edward, however, decided to ignore the instructions. He took a cracker in his mouth and dipped it into each sauce and slurped loudly. Alexus was plain dumb and decided to follow Edward and also dunked his face into the red and green sauces. 'Amercian Style' he'd acknowledged in between slurps. What a dweeb.

An awkward silence swept over the two hwo were now soaked in Indian sauce and they just looked around at the scantily populated restaurant and the waitors dressed in cream coloured long shirts and skinny white trousers. Even the awkwardness was funny.

Our giggling was interrupted by Emmett, who pushed us all out of the way, so I ended up groping the flour sack.

"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed, but before she knew it, a loud burrrrrrrgghhh sound erupted through the area; Emmett farted, and boy did he fart well. The sound travelled as if being amplified by a speaker and the smell was like lava spilling through a volcanoe uncontrollably. Yepp, Emmett fit the description of a volcano perfectly' big, smelly and dangerous.

Edward, was trying to hold in his laughter, but he used Emmett's gaseous issues to his advantage.

"Oops, looks like my stomach is a little upset these days" Edward said sheepishly.

Alexus looked disgusted, I supposed his super hot gay crush wasn't as hot as he thought.

The food arrived and Edward quickly snagged the safe looking chicken curry and rice, leaving poor Alexus with a mouldy green paste with a pice of coriander stuck on top. Even the plate was slimey green.

"So have you ever tried this?" Alexus asked, uncertainly.

"Nope" Edward grinned and popped a garlic clove into his mouth, and chewed. Gross

"Then why did you say it was ravishing?" Alexus asked, his face heating up with anger.

"The name sounded good, so I thought you might like it" Edward shrugged, unfazed by Alexus' hostility.

"If you're always a bastard like this, then this isn't going to work!" Alexus shouted, placed a 50 dollar bill.

At least he wasn't cheap.

"Wait" Edward breathed on him half heartedly, swirling the poor guy in garlic odour. Alexus did exactly the opposite and with that, he stomped out.

As soon as Alexus had left the premises we all jumped out and let out woots of victory. Plus, I had already said it wouldn't work - I felt psychic, or rather like Alice. I turned to look for Alice but she and Japser had disappeared, probably having their own 'food fights.' I blushed red at the thought.

I hugged Edward very tightly, proud that he had done such a good job even though he was against it. And for someone so graceful, such behaviour was just wrong. Of course, I refused to kiss him until he brushed his teeth, flossed and mouthwashed at least 3 times.

"I'm so glad I've finally got rid of him; now I can finally eat lunch in peace." Edward smiled.

"Peace" I agreed, for now, Operation Annhilate Alexus was successful.