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"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before finding the right one, so that when we finally find the right one, we will know how to be grateful."
Edward
I hadn't felt this light and happy in months. I could feel her energy radiating and I was soaking it all in. Bella had this affect on me which was indescribable. I glanced over at her sitting in the passenger seat, both of us were soaking my good seats but I couldn't complain, I was in too good a mood.
I'd never felt like this with Jessica or even Bree. There'd always been complaints with Jessica and complications with Bree. Bella was different, she made me feel more alive and I'd take every complaint and complication she threw at me as long as by the end of the day I still had her.
The sun was starting to set in the sky, leaving a dusty pink colour on the horizon. I didn't want today to end but it was inevitable. When I pulled up at her house we were met by an empty driveway and every light in the house was off, it looked abandoned. I had been dreading meeting Officer Swan, especially in the condition we were both in but the worry had been for nothing. However it was quickly replaced by another one.
I couldn't help but feel anxious that Bella would have been in the house on her own.
"Charlie's working late again." She muttered and sadness flashed in her brown eyes, which made me think there must be more to it, but I didn't ask.
"Do you want to come in?" she asked hopefully and her brown eyes lit up slightly at the prospect of it.
"I'm sorry I can't, I really need to get home." I said, the guilt felt like a cat scratching the inside of my chest. I reflexively pushed back a lock of her hair from her face, her cheeks went slightly pink and I inwardly smiled at her reaction.
"Thanks." She said as she opened the door.
"For what?" I asked wondering what the hidden meaning in her voice was.
"For showing me the real you." And with that, before I could protest, she hopped out of the car and ran towards the door. I stared into space, dazed for a moment before I roared the car to life.
Bella, Bella, Bella.
That's all that was running through my mind as I drove up towards my small white house, the sun glinting through the trees and reflecting off the glass windows.
I stepped out of the car, the fresh smell of the woods and pine hit me. Once upon a time that smell used to be comforting, reminded me completely of home. But now it was all just bad memories and a reminder of what I had to go home to.
As I opened the sandy wooden front door and threw my keys on the table I heard mom call out,
"Edward is that you?" there was an edge of worry to her voice but she was trying to cover, quite unsuccessfully I might add.
"Yeah." I said, trying to make a quick escape to my room before anyone noticed me, unfortunately mom had a sense for these things and as she walked out to meet me her mouth dropped open.
My mother, Elizabeth Masen was a beautiful woman. But now as time had moved on her looks had faded and life had taken that spark from her eye. She had wrinkled eyes, small bags surrounding them and her red brown hair had silvery grey strands emerging.
"Edward! What happened to you?" she demanded as she took in my very wet appearance.
"Fell in a pond." I answered calmly, trying to bite back my smile from the image of Bella flailing arms as she feel back into the water.
"What? Where?" she started, I knew this was the beginning of an interrogation, so I thought it we probably better to give her short and quick answers.
"Outside the ice cream shop."
"Why were you out so late?" she said with a smug smile, thinking she'd caught me out.
"I was in the library, doing a biology essay."
Her brow furrowed slightly, probably because she had run out of questions, and could think of no accusations.
I gave her a wide grin and started to walk into the kitchen leaving her started in the hallway at my cheerful attitude.
"Something's different." I heard her mumble and I had to choke back my laughter, if only she knew.
Then when I entered the kitchen I groaned slightly when I caught site of my father sitting at the counter reading the paper. My father and I may have looked similar but we were completely different people. I was certainly not a chip of the block, our ideas about life and principles were on opposite ends of the scale. He believed in work as a mean of providing for your family, I wanted to do something I loved, money was just a convenience. He didn't have a religion, his views are you're born and then you die, my mother was a devoted Catholic and me, well I'm not quite sure yet.
"What happened to you?!" Dad burst out as he noticed my appearance. I turned in disbelief to look at him; it was the first time he had spoken to me in months.
"So he speaks." I said sarcastically, avoiding his question, the last thing I needed was for my parents to go delving in for information about Bella.
He watched me for a moment, and then turned back to his paper, completely disregarding my presence once again.
"Edward," I heard mom call out as she was walking into the kitchen, "You really should be more careful. You'll ruin your clothes if you fall into anymore ponds." And just as the words had left her mouth, I froze up.
Slowly my father's gaze inched off his paper towards me, I was struck with anxiety when he just stared at me blankly. His hazel eyes were narrow and glazed over, I couldn't read a thing from them. He was trying to figure it out; the clogs in his head were turning, churning this new piece of information.
I just watched him, waiting for a reaction. He wasn't stupid; he knew I wasn't clumsy enough just to fall in. I just prayed that he wouldn't figure it out.
At this, I made a quick escape to my bedroom to get away from my mother's questions and my father's stares. He'd left me feeling shaken up, doubting myself and my decisions. He had the power to do that to me with one look and I hated it.
I took a quick shower and got out of the damp clothes, which made me feel slightly better. I turned on my music and lay down on my bed and relaxed, forgetting about homework, I could always talk my way out of it.
My thoughts strayed back to the day with Bella.
Her smile, her laughter, her wit, her eyes.
I don't understand why I was getting so attached to her. Maybe it was because she was the only person to give me a chance in a while, not to give me that judgemental stare and just make assumptions, it was refreshing. When I was with Bella I was free to be me.
No matter what my circumstances were, had it been back last year, at the start of junior year when I still had friends and girls actually paid attention to me. I still would have been drawn to Bella.
I knew there was more to her past that she wasn't telling me, like the small silver heart shaped locket that hung round her neck which she subconsciously touched when she was nervous. But I'd be a hypocrite to say that I didn't have a past.
I knew I should have let her go, avoided her. But I know it's impossible now, I'm in too deep.
A timid knock sounded on my door, and it jumped me quickly out of thoughts.
"What is it mum?" I called out waiting for her to enter. To my surprise she appeared through the doorway quietly and stepped cautiously into my room.
She glanced round first, not meeting my eye. Her eyes took in the mess of everything, the only thing that was actually tidy was my CD collection.
"You should clean your room a bit." She said noticing my things were thrown everywhere.
She was stalling.
"What do you want." I said coldly, waiting for her argument to begin but she just stood in silence. I knew her well enough to know she wasn't coming for chitchat, the reason being she hadn't done that with me for over a year.
"I'm worried." She stated, still not making eye contact with me, she was gazing out the window, over into the deep forest.
"Anything new?" I said sarcastically. I was only being so distant as I knew she wasn't here for my benefit.
"You weren't alone today, where you?" I froze slightly when she said this, I had no idea she would approach it so suddenly.
"What's it to you." I said coolly, trying to keep my temper under control.
"Edward." she said meeting my gaze finally, I could see for once there was no anger or hatred in her eyes, just sympathy and I think that was nearly worse.
"I know it's been a hard year for you-" she began but I cut her off,
"- yeah and you've really been there for me." I spat angrily; this was the last thing I wanted to hear. She flinched slightly at this and nibbled on her bottom lip, obviously not knowing what to say for a moment but she gathered her thoughts again.
"You know I do try to help you, but it's always thrown back in my face!" she shouted, her green eyes alight with anger again. I felt relieved; this was my aim, to get rid of the sympathy.
I sighed, "Mom just say what you came to say." I was fed up to be honest. I just wanted her to leave and forget about it for a while. No one would ever leave me be, always constantly reminding me what happened. No one understood that I was still haunted from that night, all I wanted was to leave the past behind but no one will let me forget. Except Bella.
She dipped her head slightly and then raised it again meeting my eyes once more, the anger had left her eyes, replaced by blankness.
"I think you should leave Bella alone." She said unemotionally. I stared at her, shock and anger seeping through my veins. It spread rapidly around my body like a raging fire, threatening to engulf me completely. How did she know? I expected this of dad but not her.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said struggling to keep my voice even.
"Mrs. Newton told me Mike said you were hanging about with Charlie's daughter." Her tone tinged with disapproval. Always the Newtons, I though bitterly.
"I think you should leave Bella alone." She repeated again, edging over toward my bed.
"No." I growled fiercely pulling myself up off my bed so I could stand opposite her and she took a step towards me.
"Please Edward just hear me out." She pleaded, putting the full force of her eyes on me but I just looked away, it may have worked when I was younger but not now.
"Why Mom? She's the only thing I've left." I said angrily. I could hear her breath catch and I glanced towards her face.
I saw her eyes well up with tears and her mouth was slipping into a frown. Finally something was sinking in.
"That's not true." She mumbled lowly. I turned sharply towards her, my temper rising again.
"Who else is there then? You never trust me, the constant questions prove it. Dad hasn't talked to me for months, ignoring my very existence. I lost all of my friends; even my sanity has been questioned! Do you want Bella as well? Is that it?!" I shouted at her and she was completely taken aback. I'd never said these things out loud but it was a like a small weight had been taken off my shoulders.
"She could be like Bree." She said and she'd finally done it, sending me over the edge.
"She's nothing like Bree." I hissed.
"What if the same thing happened again?" she replied ignoring my last statement but the fear was evident in her voice, and it made me feel guilty for a moment until I realised the implications of her words.
"It won't because it never did! You're my mother! You're the one person who's supposed to believe me. I never asked for anything but your trust." I shouted and the tears were flowing freely down her face now and she sniffed.
I didn't want to make her cry, but it needed to be said. But I'd had enough, she'd gone too far and the tension in the room could be cut like a knife. Neither of us was willing to see each other's point of view.
"Get out." I said coldly and her eyes narrowed slightly.
"What?" she shouted back, her voice gaining strength.
"You heard me." I said and turned away from her.
There was a loud slamming of the door and I could hear her thumping down the stairs. I turned my music up louder but it wasn't enough to drown out the distant sobs making me feel worse than before.
Then in the moment of my anger I punched my fist into the headboard. It barely moved and I didn't leave a mark, it just stood arrogantly still while I protested in pain. My hand throbbed and I clasped it tightly in my other hand, tears stinging my eyes. At least the pain had been a distraction though. I closed my eyes, my fist still hurting and let my thoughts drift off, blocking everything out and just concentrating on my music.
That's what my life had been filled with in the past year, distractions. I'd do anything not to be left alone with my thoughts.
Though in the back of my mind a thought wriggled, torturing me slowly as it crept further and further to the front so it was as clear as day.
What if mom is right?