Hey guys, just wanted to say that I was really overwhelmed by the feedback to the last chapter, I was expecting it to be really controversial with how I portrayed Sheldon and all, and so I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone! In a few guest reviews I got, they said that I should get Leonard to stop feeling sorry for himself and to try and move on, and I really agreed, so uh, I guess that you can guess that the whole Stella Karin character isn't just going to be Leonard's counselor! I'm also punishing Penny, if you couldn't tell, but I promise, the story will probably have a happy ending ;)

This is also the first chapter in which L/P interact, kind of, you'll see what I mean, I hope you enjoy it, sorry it's short!

As always, I'm doing this because I like writing stuff, and I like Leonard and Penny, but I don't own them, which sucks I guess. And I also don't own the rights to any other brands I've mentioned here, which doubly sucks! :P

Penny looked at the alarm clock, 6:15. It'd been over a year since she'd woken so early, and that'd only been to see Leonard off as he went to some physics do-thingy.

Leonard.

The thought of him still stung, and she'd try and chastise herself every time that she did. Her and Leonard were over, they had been ever since mother nature had decided to be a bitch and leave her childless for life.

Something so sickening surrounded Penny wherever she went, a constant grey cloud following her at all times. Although she could try and pin it on her mental instability and fragility, she knew that it was all Leonard. For so long, her life had revolved around him. If she was upset, she'd run to Leonard's apartment, climb into bed with him and cry into his arms all night long until the sun of a new day would shine through his curtains. Whenever she was ecstatic she'd spend hours giddily retelling whatever had happened to Leonard as they sat on her couch with her legs in his lap as they shared a dinner alone. If she'd been stressed, tired, lonely, bored, even sexual, Leonard had been there, and he was the one she wanted to go. But not having him around, left her feeling so helpless and alone. She had no idea why she was almost mourning over losing Leonard, she'd never been that way with anyone else, in fact, a week after a breakup she'd usually of slept with someone new. But not now, there was no light at the end of the tunnel for Penny, no smiles or laughs. Even on days when Bernadette would visit her, not once had she succeeded in pulling Penny from her bed. Somewhere inside of her, Penny hoped Leonard was as distressed as she was; because as awful as it sounded, she knew that he'd be the only one knowing how she felt, and that gave her just an inkling of relief.

Restless, and knowing that sleep was very much just a lustful wish, Penny resigned herself to the fact that she'd indeed be up for the rest of the day. She turned on her phone and immediately scrolled through her messages, hoping in vain that maybe Leonard had sent her something. What she did see was an unread text from Sheldon, simply telling her that he was going to Texas to visit his sick mother, but it was funny, because Penny had neither heard anything last night at the time of his text, nor did she receive a request from him to help with packing. She'd simply have to take his word for it. If there was at all a silver lining, it was that he was gone, and the apartment was empty, and just as she'd longed to, Penny almost ran across the hall, for the first time in week, and opened the door to Leonard's apartment. Immediately, Penny headed for his room, swinging the door open wide and practically jumping into his bed.

Everything was exactly the same as before, and it was almost eerie seeing the sheets made, and the memorabilia still littered around the room. Throwing back the comforter, Penny crawled underneath and wrapped herself back up again, until it was practically suffocating her, inhaling deeply face first into the pillow she smiled through teary eyes at how his scent lingered. Pulling the pillow next to her, Penny embraced it tightly, even going as far as wrapping her legs around it as she'd sometimes do to Leonard on cold or 'scary' nights. The lights were still off, and with her imagination Penny could almost imagine him there, she could almost imagine his breath on her neck and his arms around her; that was until the temptation to do something so utterly ridiculous popped into her head.

She wanted to talk to him; she wanted to hear his voice. Pulling her phone from her pocket Penny scrolled over his name as butterflies fluttered nervously throughout her. Scoffing at herself she drew up the keyboard and started to pen out a message to him.

Bags hung heavy under Leonard's eyes. It'd been a night filled with self-loathing and tears. He wasn't one to cry, but the full weight of the last week's events had finally caught up to him, and he was in a bad place indeed.

The constant gnawing in the back of his head rang out more than ever as he heaved himself from the bed and into the shower, as nightmarish as the situation was, the fact that even he was admitting that he wasn't good enough was an eye-opener. Leonard's shower was short, but filled with thought, not of physics, not of action or adventure, but of Penny. Not that that was any different from usual when he was in the shower, but it was the first time in years that she'd not joined him there, and it was the first time Leonard thought so lowly of her. Turning off the shower faucet the water immediately stopped, and for the first time in a while, Leonard looked at himself dead in the mirror as he climbed out.

All he saw was a cask of what he once was, where a smiling beaming face once sat was replaced by a dishevelled, tired, angry and weary one. It'd been just a week, one week! But even now Leonard felt so hopeless and so tired of self-pity and of being weak. He couldn't think of anything in his life that'd make him feel better, everything that had ever mattered to him was back in Pasadena.

Throwing a shirt and some shorts on, he walked back through into his room, it was still dark, the curtains were drawn and it couldn't have been past 6:30. Leonard threw himself back onto his bed, and reaching underneath it pulled his laptop from its black bag. He needed to formulate a plan, he needed to get out, he needed to do something.

What could he do though? Leonard was in no mood to go sight-seeing, to go to the beach, or to go to a theme park. Wracking his brain, what seemed like a genius idea struck him.

Counselling.

He didn't have to do everything in his life alone, Hell, he didn't have to do anything in his life alone, but all the principles he was brought up on screamed to avoid someone else's help, that meant not turning to a friend, a lover, or a family member, let alone a stranger. He'd been taught that letting other people inside your head was dangerous and destructive, and that it caused nothing but pain.

Leonard almost empathised with Penny, he remembered years back when Sheldon had tried to train her, he remembered just how angry it had made him, and yet there'd been nothing he could do. Sheldon preyed on the weak, and Leonard had no idea just how much Sheldon had done to hurt him.

But in his current state, he'd let a stranger probe his brain if it meant he could just fucking move on. He'd pined over Penny for months after their split, and it seemed to have such little effect on her, for his sake, he needed to move on with his life. He searched for New Jersey counsellors, and before long, he'd found many willing to have at trying to fix him. Using Google maps, Leonard searched for a counsellor closet to him. He smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever as he saw it, just three miles away, open all day. Booking himself in for the earliest appointment he could, Leonard took the liberty of trying to found out about who'd be trying to help him fix himself. One Stella Karin, she'd studied in England, left home at 16 and lived in Sweden while studying for her masters in psychology, and was a single mother of one, with published books on coping alone. Leonard nodded, if anyone could help him, it'd be her. Rubbing his temples, he tried to once again logically think through anything that he could. They'd tried it twice, it hadn't worked, and that was that, there was no point in trying to even fool himself about another shot with her; Penny was happy with Sheldon, and Leonard had to accept it.

He was tired of failing; he was tired of never being good enough.

Leonard noticed the face down IPhone, with light creeping out from under it in the dark room. He pulled it from the table and squinted as his eyes adjusted; the notification for a single new message was sitting just under the time.

His heart caught in his throat, it was Penny.

'Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,

It was love from above that could save me from hell,

She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,

How the devil himself could be pulled out of me'