A/N: This should have been up yesterday, but through moving back to Uni there just wasn't time. Updates will probably be on Sundays from now on, though if I can keep ahead with writing them. Thank you so much for the response again. And thank you testship, as always, for helping me with these chapters. Since that episode has just aired in the US, here's A/B moving into their new cottage. I hope you enjoy it.

The Long and Winding Road

Chapter Five

Once back from the funeral on Tuesday, the three of them would have to stay at the big house until the cottage would be finished. Lord Grantham had informed John that it would be ready for them on Friday, and as soon as he relayed this information to Anna, a glorious, eager and excited smile had crossed her lips.

The two of them – husband and wife – huddled close together in the courtyard, willing away the cold night wrapped in their coats. But nothing could dampen their spirits tonight. The funeral was still hanging over them, and Anna was still a little subdued, but John had made it his personal mission to make it increasingly easier for her to deal with. This meant coming out here when it was freezing cold and letting the temperature bite at his knee just to gain a few moments alone with her, to talk about their new home and to tease each other about the possibilities.

"I imagine a little sitting room," John breathed into her hair.

"Where you can make us some tea after a long day at work," Anna replied instantly, snuggling further into his side.

"Well, we'll see about that."

Anna knew John was teasing her, but she still dug her elbow into his side playfully. Ever since their friendship had begun all those years ago, most significantly in his first autumn at Downton, the two of them had taken turns to make the tea as their night time conversations had started to flow. It had been much the same since he had returned a few of weeks ago. John had always treated her as his equal during a time when a woman's place in the world was rapidly beginning to change. It had been refreshing to speak with a man who saw her as level with him, and their intellectual conversations about books in Lord Grantham's library had proven that. Whilst Anna had never really spent much time in education, her leaving school and working on her parents' farm before working in service, she had strived to learn to read and write as well as she could, and she had taken full advantage of the library available to them. And Anna also sensed that their marriage would be an equal partnership, unlike a lot of working-class marriages she had seen in her life. Her mother had always warned her about obeying her husband and being a good wife, but Anna knew that when she had found John, it was a different situation entirely.

They were friends, as well as lovers. For a long time before she had started to accept her love for him, she had accepted his friendship and the delightful company he provided her with.

"Penny for them?"

John drew Anna away from her thoughts in his low, sultry tone and a kiss to her temple.

"Oh, I think you'll find they're worth a lot more than that, Mr Bates."

"I don't doubt that," he whispered hoarsely, angling his mouth so that he could kiss her properly, an action Anna willingly responded to.

She sighed against his lips, allowing a whole multitude of feelings to wash over her as his lips moved softly, tentatively before slowly beginning to deepen the kiss. Anna felt his tongue sweep across her lips and she opened her mouth willingly, letting him deepen the kiss as he explored her mouth, tasting her.

But, as always, they had to stop before their embrace became too heated.

It was something the two of them had always struggled to abide by, but in their time together one small slip could have meant a lot in terms of their jobs and their reputation. He could hardly be caught by the stalwart butler in some kind of mad throe with Anna in the courtyard.

But as John pulled away regretfully, images of their cottage entered his mind, and suddenly his desire was pacified, even if only slightly.

"We can do a lot more when we have our own bedroom."

Anna giggled against his lips, leaning back as she smoothed her hands over his jacket.

"That we can," Anna breathed.

"And there will be a bathroom of our own."

Anna had always had to share a bathroom, for as long as she could remember. First, as part of a fairly large family and second as a maid in service. It would be a nice and welcome change to only have to share with two other people. In fact, it would be nice to just have a home to call her own. It was going to be a new experience for all of them.

"And a kitchen," Anna added.

"Though I hardly think you will be doing much cooking in there." John suggested, wrapping his arm around her tightly. "Not when we are needed here so often."

He was right, Anna thought. But on some occasions, she would cook him dinner in their own kitchen. She imagined cooking him a pie, maybe on her afternoon off, and then he would come home, and the three of them would sit around the table together. Anna imagined those times would be cherished. And then, if she dared think so far into the future, when she left service to tend to their own family, she would cook for their children, and maybe even her husband too if Lord Grantham would give him some nights off. Nights off to spend together as a family, curled up in front of a roaring fire, reading from a book that the children loved. John would be the one to read aloud, the children would prefer his reading and the voices he made. She would delight in hearing him read and making them laugh.

Anna felt her heart flutter at the thought of children in the future.

"Have you spoken to Mrs Hatchet yet?" John asked her.

Anna nodded. "Yes, she has agreed to take care of her, starting after our week off."

Mrs Hatchet was an older lady in the village, and she and her late husband had been tenants on the Grantham land for as long as Anna had been in service and Anna had met the kind, old lady in church. Her husband had passed away almost a year ago, and her two sons now helped on the farm to keep it running, although Lord Grantham had been very accommodating to their situation.

When Anna had asked her about the possibilities of looking after Lizzy during the day, Mrs Hatchet had agreed willingly, pleased to have someone to look after throughout the day. Anna presumed it would take her mind off a lot of things, and the old lady had agreed to a schedule where she would take Lizzy back to the cottage later in the afternoon and wait with her there until Anna and John returned home from work. Her farm was only a five minute walk from the cottage and, although she had insisted that she could walk back alone, Anna had insisted that either she or John would walk back with her.

It was not the most ideal of circumstances, but until John and Anna had saved up enough for her to leave service, it was one of their only options. Their savings would tide them over for a while, but husband and wife knew that, in the long term, this would work out better for them.

"Good," John murmured, kissing her temple. "It will be easier when Lizzy starts school, too."

Technically, Lizzy was old enough now to start school. However, John and Anna wanted to wait a little while until she went, as the two of them were still concerned about her reaction to Rose's death and the funeral. Neither of them wanted to pressure her into starting at a new school before she was ready.

"I suppose so," Anna sighed, and John wrapped his arm a little tighter around her. "I'll speak to Lady Mary too, and see if I can finish earlier some nights a week."

"I'm sure we can manage that."

"Although if we have to go to London…"

"We will arrange something," John promised her.

Anna turned to face her husband and smiled slightly, accepting his promise.

She knew that managing their work and personal lives now was going to be increasingly difficult. It was always going to be a struggle, married life in service. Most of their time would be spent at the Abbey, tending to their master and mistress, and their tiredness and fatigue would most probably affect them greatly in the months to come. They would probably snap at each other because of their tiredness, and their married relations would be a substitute for precious sleep, but in the end their love would survive anything.

They would just take everything one step at a time.

Anna struggled with the final button on Lady Mary's dress. The small, white thing was fiddly and it took her a couple more moments than normal to fix. Eventually, she got it though, and let out a happy sigh. Anna reached around Lady Mary for her hair brush, and her lady instantly recognised the action and sat down at her dressing table.

Her hair was already loose, a sign which Anna had taken to mean Mr Matthew had gotten a little carried away the night before. She smirked at the thought, remembering the way John had played with her hair that night before the funeral. He had been just as fascinated with her hair on their wedding night. Anna had always had a sensitive scalp; she loved when he played with her hair. If a strand had come loose throughout the day and they were outside together, he would take it between his fingers, fascinated.

She would often tease him about it, but she secretly loved his hair just as much.

"You seem very preoccupied," Lady Mary spoke up, her eyes looking at her maid through the mirror, sparkling knowingly.

"Only good things, m'lady."

"And I'm very glad to hear it." Lady Mary smirked. Silence descended across the room for a few moments, before Lady Mary spoke up. "Have you decided where Lizzy will stay after your week off?"

Anna smiled slightly. "We have," she replied. "Mrs Hatchet from the village has agreed to look after her for the time being, until we feel she is ready to go back to school."

"Well, she could always stay here?" Lady Mary suggested. "I hardly think little Sybbie's nanny would mind. She could be looked after in familiar surroundings."

Anna was touched at the gesture, but she had to refuse, and shook her head. "The routine would tire her out, and Mr Bates and I want her to feel comfortable in the cottage. But thank you, m'lady."

Lady Mary nodded, understanding. "You must be looking forward to your week off."

Anna nodded, smiling happily. "Very much, m'lady. It will be lovely."

"Have you planned anything yet?"

"We thought we could make the cottage our own," Anna suggested. "And take a trip or two into Ripon, and maybe a picnic."

"It sounds lovely," Lady Mary lifted her eyebrows, aware of all the other things the couple would be getting up to.

Anna noticed the look her lady was giving her and shyly averted her eyes, noticing through the mirror that her cheeks were turning bright red.

But as Lady Mary strayed away from that subject, Anna began to think about all of those things. She cast her mind back to their wedding night, in the room Lady Mary had arranged for them just down the hallway, and also to Sunday night, when she and John had finally come together once more. She smiled at the memories, and as she began to contemplate the upcoming week, she felt herself blushing even more, thinking of all the possibilities.

"Thank you, Anna."

Without realising, Anna had finished Lady Mary's hair. She supposed that, since she had been doing it for years, she could do it in her sleep. Or a daydream.

Anna, who noticed her face was still a little flushed, quickly nodded and left the room, intent on finding her husband downstairs.

Instead, however, the first person she came across was Lizzy. She was stood in the kitchen with Mrs Patmore and Daisy, the latter who she seemed to have struck up a friendship with and the three of them seemed to be stood over some project or other. Lizzy was stood on a stool because of their height difference, and Anna felt her heart swell when she heard her little niece laughing at something Mrs Patmore had said to Daisy.

As Daisy moved away to fetch something from across the room, Anna saw that the three of them had been baking a cake.

Anna leant against the door frame, smiling at their handiwork, and as Lizzy turned around and greeted her with a smile, she asked her teasingly, "Will I be getting any?"

Mrs Patmore turned upon hearing her voice, and smiled sympathetically at the woman she had always considered a friend. "This is for upstairs, I'm afraid. Isn't it, Lizzy?"

Lizzy nodded as Anna smiled, slowly approaching the trio, running her hand along Lizzy's back in a comforting and soothing gesture. She looked over her shoulder at the delicious looking cake, and contemplated their reason for baking it. "Am I not allowed any? It looks delicious."

Lizzy giggled to herself, and Anna saw her and Daisy exchange a smirk across the kitchen table.

"Mrs Patmore was only joking," Daisy informed Anna, preparing some icing sugar.

Anna widened her eyes and turned her head so that she could look into the eyes of her niece, narrowing her own dramatically. "You tricked me?" Anna gasped, moving her hands to Lizzy's sides as she began to tickle her sides, causing the girl to twist and turn in her arms.

Lizzy shrieked as Anna continued to tickle her.

"What's going on?" John asked as he entered the kitchen, laughing at the sight.

"This little madam is running her aunt ragged," Anna supplied him, stopping her torturing and instead bringing her arms around the little girl's waist affectionately.

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," John quipped, shooting a wink at Lizzy.

She smiled at him in response.

"Oh, really?" Anna asked. "I see how it is, you two turning against me already."

"Anna!" A voice suddenly appeared from behind Anna, in the archway that was opposite to Mr Carson's pantry door. As Anna turned around to greet the familiar voice, she discovered Mrs Hughes stood there, smiling at the scene in front of her. "Anna, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," Anna smiled, brushing her hand across Lizzy's back once more before following the housekeeper into her sitting room.

Lizzy then turned to John, who gave her a reassuring smile.

"Are you staying here, or do you want to come through with me?" John asked her and waited for her response.

Lizzy, in response, turned to Mrs Patmore who had just started in her preparations for the dinner upstairs – well, as far as preparations went for the cook, because she was simply listing off instructions to Ivy and another of the kitchen maids.

It was Daisy, however, who responded, "I can finish off here, it's all right. There's just the icing to do."

Lizzy smiled shyly at Daisy and made to turn around and step off the stool before realising it was a little higher than originally thought. But before she could even turn and ask for assistance, Lizzy found John stood beside her, opening his arm for her and offering his help.

Lizzy beamed silently up at him, and John found himself enamoured by her kind and genuine smile. The little girl willingly went into his arms, and John wrapped it strongly around her before planting Lizzy firmly on the ground.

As Lizzy walked on ahead of him, John found himself watching her lovingly, ever thankful for Anna and her family in his life.

The light from the servants' hall that night came from the flickering candle in the centre of the table. It created an earthy glow to the room, and in the back of her mind, Anna remembered a time in the past when she and John had sat here, with a cup of tea, talking about their future. It had been a time she would remember fondly for all of her life, despite the shadows that cast around her heart only a couple of days after that night – when John had been manipulated to leave with Vera.

But now, as she sat with her husband, their hopes were just as high for the future. And this time, the two of them would be moving into their little cottage the next morning.

It was a late Thursday night, it was even approaching midnight now, and tomorrow morning the two of them, and Lizzy, would be moving their belongings into their new home. And neither one of them could sleep, their excitement having reached new levels.

As John stood up to go and make them both another cup of tea, Anna watched him go, a fond smile fixing across her face. She contemplated him as he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, which was even more dimly lit than the hall, her eyes glistening. Everyone had gone to bed almost an hour ago, but neither of them had the heart to leave each other tonight, at least not yet. John had been reading his book before everyone else had gone to bed, so once the married couple were left alone, Anna had insisted he read some of that to her.

She enjoyed listening to his voice as he read, but when it had been her turn she had quickly wanted to change the subject.

In truth, it had not just been her unwillingness to read. She had been agitated, but in an excited way, all night and found that all she wanted to do was talk about the cottage. Her husband had happily indulged her, and for the next thirty or forty minutes, they had discussed their new cottage, speculated about its insides and professing eagerly that tomorrow they would know for themselves.

They had talked about the cottage until John had asked if she wanted another cup of tea.

Sighing to herself, and given that her husband was out of her view, Anna pulled forward his book and began to flick through the pages. There was a small note in the front of the book, a little reminder from his mother that it had been a birthday present twelve years ago. Anna smiled, fondly remembering Mrs Bates – the lady whose name she now shared – and the times she had met her. The first time had been before the war, when she had gone to seek his innocence and the second during the war when Lord Grantham and the family had visited their London home briefly and John had taken her to visit his mother himself.

Anna still remembered that day well. It had been the closest thing to being his wife in those days – him taking her to meet his mother. She had laughed and joked with Margaret Bates in the kitchen as John hovered in the doorway, ensuring that neither of them were exchanging particularly embarrassing stories, and she had fixed him a cup of tea, just like she would now in their cottage. Anna had helped her cook a light dinner for them, and the domesticity of the scene had hit Anna, so much so that she had become a little too emotional on the walk back to Grantham House and had confessed it all to John.

Their relationship had still been fairly new at that time, he having only just admitting that he did love her too, even though she had seen it in his expressions and gestures for some time already, but he had still taken her for a romantic walk in the park and eased her worries with a sweep of his thumb across her hand or a kiss upon her lips.

"It's your turn," came his voice from out of nowhere, causing Anna to jump. Her eyes focused back on him as she watched him laugh to himself, sitting down beside her and placing her cup in front of her. "You were miles away."

Anna laughed herself, "So it would seem."

"Can I ask where?"

Anna smiled sadly and pointed to his mother's handwriting in the front of the book, "Just remembering the times I met your mother."

John smiled too, his eyes softening as he turned his head from the book to his wife.

"She did like you."

"And I liked her," Anna responded quickly, reaching out her hand to take his. "Now, is it my turn?"

John smirked at her, nodding slowly as he sat even further back in the chair.

Anna knew he loved her reading out loud just as much as she loved hearing him. She often tried, and succeeded, to wriggle her way out of reading, and John being John could hardly bare to refuse her. But tonight she wanted to, and she tried even harder than usual to adjust her tone when she would read different characters, just like he did.

Eventually, though, her reading was disrupted by his hand rubbing her thigh firmly through the fabric of her dress.

Anna turned her face to look at him, her eyes narrowing playfully.

He simply smiled sheepishly.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Mr Bates?"

He smirked, his thumb smoothing circles across her dress. But then his gaze softened and his touch stopped, his palm lying flat across her thigh but not moving. "You should go to sleep, it's almost one."

Anna shook her head. "I want to be awake." She could see he was about to argue again. "Mr Bates, we have plenty of time to sleep over the next week."

There was a certain seductive lilt to her voice, one that John had been slowly getting used to ever since he had been released from prison. He felt something stirring in the pit of his stomach just from listening to her.

"Amongst other things," Anna then added coyly.

Now John narrowed his eyes and squeezed her thigh gently, causing her eyes to flutter closed and her mouth to hang open a little. "You naughty girl."

Anna's eyes fluttered open, and John shuddered when he saw them full of desire.

"And what sort of things would these be?" John asked hoarsely.

"That's enough of that, Mr Bates." Anna laughed, moving her hand over his on her thigh.

She watched as his face fell.

"You little temptress."

Anna leant forwards, moving her lips closer and closer to his face and looking as though she would kiss his lips before she turned at the last minute and moved them to his ear. She kissed some of the skin along his hairline before nibbling on his ear lobe, emitting a groan from her husband as she suppressed the urge to giggle.

"I suppose you will have to wait until tomorrow and find out."

John reached out his arm and turned the key in the lock, letting the door swing open in front of them.

Their belongings were around their feet, a car had brought them from the Abbey upon His Lordship's insistence. John could feel Anna literally bouncing with excitement at his side.

He watched as Anna encouraged Lizzy to go inside first ahead of them, and the little girl walked in cautiously, but soon disappeared down the little corridor.

"Shall we, Mrs Bates?"

Anna turned her head to look at him, smiling as she reached down to take his hand, squeezing it gently.

They shared a sweet, slow kiss before walking into their cottage – their new home – together.

John stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching his wife with an insanely large and content smile across his face.

Anna was stood in their kitchen, preparing them both a cup of tea before they would retire to bed. He had been unable to resist watching her earlier too as she had heated them a meal (Mrs Patmore had not let them leave this morning without presenting them with a healthy sized meat pie, claiming that Anna should not have to cook on her first night) and he had revelled in the domesticity of the scene. Watching Anna potter around their home, fixing things on the wall or pushing them back into their right place to keep the cottage tidy had started to send a thrill through his body. They had explored the cottage thoroughly earlier, from the sitting room to the bedroom, and even the garden outside. There was a spacious spare bedroom that would belong to Lizzy, and she had been content in there throughout the day, putting her own belongings in their new places as her aunt and uncle had done the same thing in their bedroom. The three of them had sat outside for a little while after finishing the meat pie, enjoying the evening air in their new garden before Anna had ushered them both inside, claiming that she did not wish for either of them to become ill.

They had settled Lizzy in bed just half an hour ago now – she had been falling asleep against Anna in their sitting room whilst he had read silently and Anna had begun knitting Lizzy a new scarf for winter. She had been easy to settle, despite both their worries that she would feel uneasy in unfamiliar surroundings.

Following this, Anna had told him to go into the sitting room and continue with his book while she made them some tea. He had tried to argue and insist he made the tea, but she had fixed him with a firm look; one that John knew he would somehow fall victim to a lot during their years together here.

But John had been restless in the sitting room without her, and now here he was, stood by the door, watching his wife as she fixed him a cup.

Unable to resist any longer, John approached her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist. Anna did not jump, and although he was surprised, his attention was soon taken as she placed her own hands across his, holding them together.

John began to kiss her neck, eliciting soft moans from Anna as she tilted her head sideways to grant him further access to her soft, creamy skin. He felt a surge of desire course through his body when Anna lifted one of her hands and began to run her fingers through his hair, gripping it as he continued to kiss and nip at her neck.

"Mm, John," Anna murmured, and soon gasped as John bit her neck teasingly, before she felt his tongue sweep across the piece of skin.

"Shall we go to bed?"

Anna turned her head and raised an eyebrow, and suddenly teased, "We didn't get much sleep last night."

But her teasing did not faze John. Instead, her husband moved his hands from her front and slowly began to stroke her sides through the dress she was wearing, feeling her shudder beneath his touch.

"I don't think we will tonight either," John growled into her ear, surprising Anna as he suddenly lifted her into his arms and sat her on the edge of the kitchen table.

Anna squealed as she was lifted into the air, but was prevented from laughing as his lips were suddenly crushing against her own, silencing any sound she would make. She joined in the kiss eagerly, opening her mouth when his tongue stroked against her lips, mimicking his actions as she tasted him.

It was only when he moved his lips away and began to wreath the skin of her neck in kisses that Anna began to think about the practicality of this all. Her eyes drifted across her husband and began to breathe out as best she could in considering his current actions, "Your leg…"

"… is fine."

"But…"

Anna was silenced again by his lips as John began to unbutton the front of her dress, kissing the skin that was revealed to him there.

"Why move to the bedroom when we can stay here?" John asked throatily, looking up for permission as he reached some of the last buttons.

Anna giggled and nodded for both, her own hands moving to relieve her husband of his waistcoat and shirt.

John continued to kiss her as her hands delightfully ran through his hair, removing all traces of the pomade he had applied that morning.

They had plenty of time later to move upstairs, the thought crossed in the back of Anna's mind as her husband continued to cover her skin with kisses, bringing her to the heights of her own pleasure.

John watched her sleeping, revelling in the peaceful expression across her face. The rays of sun that had managed to seep through the space between the curtains splayed out across her face, creating a beautiful colour to her skin. Her lips were parted just slightly, and gentle rasps of breath were blowing against his shoulder where she laid her head. The beautiful, blonde tresses that he had always been captured by fell down her back and John had to resist the urge to brush his hands through them, not wanting to wake her.

The two had barely got any sleep last night, what with Lizzy waking once in the night and also becoming reacquainted with themselves again. As a result of the latter, the sunlight also splayed across her naked back and John was fascinated as he watched the light dance across it.

As he craned his head, he felt Anna begin to stir gently.

He chastised himself for being the cause of her waking, but he soon felt that guilt disappearing as he watched her scrunch her eyes up, trying to fight waking up, but smiling all the same as she recognised where she was.

"I've always imagined this," Anna spoke, her voice still full of sleep as she stretched against him, her breasts pressing against his side, causing him to shudder.

"What's that?" John asked happily, trailing his fingers up and down her arm.

"Waking up next to you for the first time," Anna replied before propping her head up with her arm, allowing her to look down at him. "In our cottage."

John grinned.

"And does it live up to your imagination?"

"How could it not?" Anna asked him sweetly, leaning down to press her lips quickly to his, greeting him a good morning.

John brought his hand up to stroke her hair, taking some of it between his fingers.

"Is Lizzy awake yet?"

"I haven't heard her," John informed.

Anna nodded. "Mrs Hatchet said she would pop around in a few days, just to see her, you know."

John smiled, still fascinated with her hair.

"We need to go into Ripon too, I want to get some new curtains for Lizzy's room."

"We can go on Tuesday." That way they had a few days all to themselves to settle into their cottage. Anna shared a look with husband that said she understood his reasoning. They grinned at each other.

"I should make some breakfast," Anna announced, moving to sit up, the bed covers falling around her waist.

Anna turned and smiled at her husband shyly, her top half now bare.

John grinned at the sight and reached his arm across and around her waist, pulling her back down onto the bed. His lips moved and searched for hers once again, and Anna willingly responded.

She moaned in despair when he pulled away. "You stay here," he insisted, already slipping out from underneath the duvet cover.

"But, John…"

He turned around to face her, still in the middle of finding his night clothes and robe. John grinned, "I insist. I can make scrambled eggs."

Anna could hardly refuse him when he stood there naked in front of her. So, she simply fell back against the pillow and watched as he struggled to find his night clothes strewn across the bedroom, a smile never leaving her lips.

Tuesday came, and so did their trip to Ripon. Anna managed to find all that she needed to at this moment in time – she would continue to pick little things up for the cottage over the coming months – and after treating themselves to a hot drink and some sandwiches at a teahouse, the three of them set off back to Downton.

Mrs Hatchet had come to introduce herself to Lizzy earlier that afternoon, but as evening drew in and Anna was preparing their dinner, she began to notice her niece becoming even more withdrawn. When she had mentioned it to John just before their dinner, he had proposed that Mrs Hatchet's arrival earlier could have been hard-hitting for Lizzy, almost as though all of this was real – not that the old lady was unkind, just unfamiliar. Anna had nodded and agreed, but had sought to uncover the truth later at dinner.

As it happened, Lizzy was even quieter at dinner and only picked at her food.

"Are you all right?" Anna asked softly after Lizzy had pushed a carrot around her plate more than three times.

Lizzy looked up and shrugged. But after a few more moments in silence, she spoke up and asked to be excused.

"Of course you can," Anna responded. "Have you had enough?"

Lizzy nodded solemnly and got up, immediately heading for the door that led to the garden.

Anna sighed after she left, placing down her own fork and fumbling for her glass of water.

"This was all going to hit her eventually," John supplied, reaching across the table to cover his wife's hand.

Anna sniffed and nodded.

"The food was delicious," he spoke again, attempting to make her smile.

Anna smiled feebly through her clouded eyes. "Good," she choked. "I spent enough time fretting over it."

John smiled at her and began to stroke his thumb across the back of her hand.

After the two of them had finished their meal and had washed up all the pots from dinner, John walked across to the table and collected his cane from the back of his chair.

"I'll go and check on her," John offered.

It was getting dark outside, they knew it would be time for Lizzy to go to bed soon.

"John, it's fine, I can…"

"Go in there and relax." John gestured to the sitting room. "Make a cup of tea, read a book," he suggested, smiling in that way. "We won't be long."

Anna sighed and admitted defeat, pulling him towards her and wrapping her arms around his middle. He willingly wrapped his arms around her too, pulling her further into his chest as he felt her heave a sigh of relief and relax against his frame. John smiled, and rubbed his hands up and down her back, feeling some of the tension leave her. She found that his loving touches and reassurance were all that she could ever need.

John opened the back door and peered out into the garden, only spotting Lizzy through the light coming from the full moon above. It was a clear night, and the stars were already making themselves known, casting a striking glow across the night sky. Lizzy was sat over by the large tree in the corner of their garden that must have been planted years and years ago, its branches hung over the fence that surrounded the garden and John had come to the conclusion not too long ago that the three of them would be graced with plenty of apples in the next year.

As he approached her, she looked up to acknowledge him. Lizzy smiled slightly but quickly turned to fidget with the hem of her dress.

"May I join you?"

Lizzy looked up at John and shrugged before switching her eyes to the blades of grass, beginning to pick at them nervously.

John cautiously lowered himself to the ground despite knowing that Anna would chastise him for doing this to his knee, as well as getting dirt on his trousers. He smirked as he briefly imagined her telling him off, before he turned his attentions to the little girl beside him.

"You know," he began, hoping this line of topic would help her. "When my mother died, I felt a little bit lost for a while." Well, a little bit was an understatement. But John reminded himself that he was talking to a six-year-old girl, not Anna. "Without your aunt, I would have felt very alone, and sad."

"When did she die?" Lizzy suddenly asked quietly, so quietly John could barely hear her.

"Quite a long time ago now, in the middle of the war."

"That's when my dad died," Lizzy whispered, subconsciously nudging closer to John.

"I know," John whispered back, lifting his arm so Lizzy could settle against his side.

She did so willingly, and John heard her sniffling against his shirt.

"I miss my mum," Lizzy revealed from against his shirt, and this only served to make John tighten his hold around her. He did not respond, wanting to see if Lizzy would say anything else. John only had to wait a few more minutes before she did, "Sometimes I feel really sad, but other times I don't."

John felt his heart tighten. He felt his shirt dampen as Lizzy cried against him, but he continued to say nothing, just wanting to comfort her for now.

"You know, Lizzy, no one expects you to feel right again for a long time," John started, and as he started to realise she had stopped crying, he continued. "Different people will feel differently," John was choosing his words carefully, aware that he was talking to someone so young. "It does not make you a bad person if you don't feel as sad sometimes, or at all. Not being sad doesn't mean you have forgotten your mum, or that you didn't love her."

He heard Lizzy sniff again. John rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Really?" John eventually heard her ask.

His heart broke at the weakness in her voice, the doubt. He reassured her with one word.

"Really."

Lizzy seemed to accept his word, and the two of them continued to then talk about whatever came across their minds. They spoke about her mother first, and then his and then Anna. John reassured and reminded Lizzy that she could go and speak to her aunt about any of this, and that she would understand.

"Speaking of your aunt, I think we should go inside and find her before she starts to worry. What do you say?"

Lizzy looked up at John for the first time since their conversation had started and nodded, smiling even if only slightly.

"Come on, then."