Margot and Q were sitting in an internet café near her flat, each had a cup in front of them. Margot had a coffee while Q stuck with his usual Earl Grey. He had a laptop open in front of him, but he wasn't paying attention to it, instead he was focused on his friend. "I'm pushing him away and I don't know how to stop myself." Tears were forming in her eyes as she spoke. It was early afternoon on Saturday, a couple weeks after the kidnapping. Margot's hands gripped her coffee cup as if it was the only thing that mattered; her head hung down as she tried to fight back the tears. Margot was not going to cry again, she had done enough of that the past two weeks already.
Q looked at his friend as she tried not to break down in front of him. He reached out one hand and wrapped it around hers. "What are you talking about? Alec cares for you more than anything else in his life. I've never seen him so focused before, and it's all because of you. He's not going to give this up."
"I can't give him what he wants; I can't give him the, the intimacy that he deserves. I try, we try, but every time we get to a certain point and I freeze up. I don't mean to, don't want to, but I can't stop myself." She glances up at her friend, pleading with her eyes for some answer, some wisdom to help her.
"You had a traumatic experience; it's not something you just get over. It takes time. Alec knows this, he understands. It doesn't change anything for him; he just wants you scars and all, even emotional ones.
"I know that's what he says, but he's getting frustrated. I can tell, soon enough he's not going to want to wait for me anymore. He's going to find someone else." Margot stood up to leave, cheeks wet with tears.
Q reached out and took her wrist gently, "He's not going to do that."
"He will if I tell him to. He's deserves more than I can give him, whether he'll admit it or not." She gently pulled away from her friend, and slowly walked out, her slight limp the only remaining, visible injury.
Alec was furious, which was terrifying for Johnson, the armory tech that had just moments before handed the agent a long string of explosives. They looked just like firecrackers, but just one packed enough punch to blow a hole in a concrete wall. The tech looked from the fuming agent to the explosives and then to the small Q Brach tech that had put him in the bad mood and decided retreat was the best course of action. Why did Q Branch always feel the need to aggravate the Double 0 agents?
"What do you mean we shouldn't see each other anymore?" Alec couldn't believe he was hearing this.
Margot couldn't bear to look him in the eye, "You deserve someone better, someone who can actually give you what you want, and that's not me."
"Who says that you get to decide what I want, I'm pretty sure I know what I want, and that's you." He tried to say the last part as gently as he could as he reached out and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes.
"You say that now, but how long will that be true if I can't...you know if I can't give you, you know, a real relationship." Margot blushed as she stumbled over the words, "Eventually you'll decide to find someone else, someone who can give you all those things and leave me anyhow. This is my way of letting you go find that someone now instead of later."
Alec was feeling a new wave of anger flow through him at her words, "For someone who is so fucking smart, you can be a real idiot, you know that. I don't care about what you can or can't give me, I care about you. I am not going to just stand by while you decide my life for me when I already have what I want."
It was at this point Tanner entered the Armory, "006 I thought you had a military plane to Costa Rica to catch. Get moving or you'll miss it, and I am not paying for civilian plane ticket."
Alec grabbed his supplies and threw them into the duffel bag on the counter next to him, "We'll talk about this when I get back." He said to Margot as he turned to leave.
"We're done talking about this." She answered him, trying to sound forceful.
"The hell we are!" Alec called back as he ran down the corridor.
Later that evening Margot was sitting on Q's couch, slumped over a glass of Moscato, trying not to think about the day that had just ended. "So," Q was standing with her back to her looking through his Blu-Ray collection. "Romantic comedy, action, suspense, what are we in the mood for tonight?" He turned to look at his friend as she glance up at him a look of sadness and defeat on her face. "Right, zombie movie." He grabbed a case from the shelf and headed over to the entertainment system to get it started.
It was then that Bond came in from the kitchen carrying a tray of snacks, "Margot, why do I have a message in my voicemail from Alec telling me I need to straighten you out? What did he do now?" He set the tray down on the coffee table and sat next to her expecting to hear some ridiculous story about how Alec keeps leaving dirty dishes in her sink or said something disparaging about one of her favorite sci-fi shows. What he didn't expect was her to look up at him and burst into tears.
"It's all my fault, I'm so screwed up right now, I just wanted him to have someone not screwed up, but he won't listen to me." Bond wasn't sure what she meant but she had curled up upon herself and was sobbing at this point and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting any answers from her now. Luckily it was then that Q sat down and explained it all to him.
"They haven't had sex yet because she hasn't yet gotten over the trauma of the kidnapping. She thinks he's getting frustrated and would have broken it off himself soon."
Bond looked at the emotionally broken woman beside him, understanding the desire to avoid the pain of someone leaving you, rejecting you. He reached out gently and placed his hand on her leg. It was a bit of a surprise when he felt her muscles lock up so suddenly from his soft touch. Margot froze for a second before her conscious mind was able to calm her muscles back down. It only took seconds but the reaction was so extreme that even Q saw it, it was then that Bond truly knew the depth of her problem.
Margot looked up from between her fingers, afraid of what she would see on the faces of her friends and was surprised to find Bond smiling warmly at her. "Reconditioning." Is all he said before standing up and walking to the other side of the coffee table. Q and Margot both stared at him in confusion. "We can fix this. It will take time, and patience, but we can recondition your mind to not see every touch as a threat. Repetition of being touched without threatening your safety could help your mind ease back into allowing normal intimacy."
"What exactly are you talking about James?" Q asked, sounding less than convinced.
"It's simple, you, and me and maybe one other Q Branch tech touches Margot innocently throughout the day. We place a hand on her back or waist in a non-threatening manner over and over again, until eventually her subconscious stops reacting as if it's a fight or flight situation." Bond sounded so confident, as if it was just that simple. Margot wasn't convinced.
Q on the other hand looked impressed with the idea; he even smiled a little as he contemplated the probabilities in his head. "We could get Marcus to help as well. He's harmless enough, except when he dresses up as Tina Turner from Mad Max on the weekends. He puts on a great show, we should go sometime. The three of us should be able to get in enough contact throughout the day, that is of course, if Margot is up for this." He turned to look at her, smiling encouragingly.
"Just touching right, not grabbing or pulling?" She wanted to be sure of what she was hearing before agreeing to anything. James came back around the coffee table and kneeled in front of her, placing a hand on her thigh lightly causing her to tense up again.
"Nothing more than that, I promise." He said it softly, looking her right in the eyes to show the truth of his statement. Margot sighed slightly and nodded her consent. Bond smiled, "I've got a couple days at HQ so I'm also going to offer you some private lessons in self defense, help build up your self confidence. Maybe even a trip to the firing range, it could be fun." Bond smiled. "Alec won't be back for at least two weeks, why don't we see where you are then before making any hasty decisions, alright?"
"It won't matter, two weeks away and he'll come to his senses, maybe meet some voluptuous blonde and remember what he's been missing for the last couple weeks." Margot shook her head.
"Months." Q corrected, "What he's been missing the last couple months." Margot looked up at Q confused. "Alec hasn't slept with anyone on mission or off for at least two, maybe three months, not since he started falling for you. He's not going to give up on you that easily."
Margot wished she could say the next couple of weeks flew by, but they didn't. She had to admit though, 007's plan seemed to be working. The first few days were hell; Q, James and Marcus were relentless. Heck they would just find excuses to come around her desk to get next to her, and every time the touched her all her muscles would tense up. She had soreness all along her back and neck, Q would give her a massage in the evenings which would feel good but still make her tense up some. Plus she had bruises on her knees from banging the underside of her desk every time she jumped in her seat. But it was getting better.
Most of Q Branch was completely obilivious to what was going on, but M took notice during a visit with Q about his latest prototype explosive. "Why does everyone seem to feel the need to touch your PA Q?" Luckily Bond was able to explain it to M in hushed tones, and no one else, except Tanner, took notice of them. The next time Tanner brought down some paperwork for Q to look over he gently placed his hand on the small of her back as he walked past her and out of Q's office.
Bond's self defense instruction was almost fun, and very enlightening. The first time she managed to flip the agent over her shoulder and onto the floor by herself was empowering, she felt almost giddy afterwards. The trip to the firing range was almost as good. The first gun he had her fire was just a little .22 pistol. Bond showed her the proper way to load and aim the little gun then had her fire off a few shots at the paper target at the end of the short firing lane. The first time she barely nicked the edge of the paper, but eventually she got in a shoulder hit. "At least you don't talk to the targets. The first time I brought Q down here he was going on about his 'pretty floral bonnet'. It was a little odd." Bond said with a smile.
Guns were obviously not going to be her strong suit, it didn't help that anything with a caliber larger than .22 had too much kick for her weak arms to handle. Not to mention the shell casings had a bad habit of flying back, getting stuck in her hair and burning her scalp. After that happened she always pulled her hair up at the range.
The combination of the three exercises did seem to be working though, and by the end of the two weeks, the gentle touches barely made her shiver, and she was capable of disarming and immobilizing Bond from almost every attack scenario he threw at her. She was excited by the idea of testing herself out in an intimate situation with Alec and maybe getting farther than they had before. So when he did return, and didn't come by and find her right away it was heartbreaking.